Post by callunafirefly on Sept 5, 2012 10:05:44 GMT -5
I know we've gone into this numerous times...and I know they work for some, and totally wrong for others.
I have a situation with a friend and we've discussed that we may be in a FWB situation, because we are friends, and because the "B" happens. To me though it seems more like a relationship that he isn't sure he's ready for...it just doesn't seem like a FWB situation
Can you tell me about your FWB? Are there rules, expectations, guidelines?
If you want me to get into details of why I think we are not in a true FWB situation I will, I was just trying to keep this short and compare.
Post by jojoandleo on Sept 5, 2012 10:10:44 GMT -5
I think if you have feelings for him and want a relationship, you should stop. I think the one rule for FWB is not to get attached. Maybe he's not ready for a relationship, maybe he doesn't want one, but if he has stated he only sees you as a FWB, believe him.
Post by jojoandleo on Sept 5, 2012 10:25:14 GMT -5
Yeah, if you WANT a relationship with him, you should make that clear; if you don't, make that clear as well. I fyou want a relationship and he doesn't, you should remove the benefits from the friendship because it will only lead to resentment. Like I said, the only real rule to a FWB is to not get attached. If you are, you need to talk about it and decide where to go from there, but it may end the friendship.
Post by usedtobebear on Sept 5, 2012 10:34:59 GMT -5
I sometimes think a FWB would be awesome, but deep down I know I would suck at it, I used to rock the FWB when I was in my early 20's but I think that ship has sailed for me. I think if you are questioning that it might be more than FWB and he's not on the same page, you might be setting yourself up to be hurt...
If he isn't ready for a relationship this will never be one no matter how much he likes you. At the end of this you will most likely lose him as a friend and be hurt and sad. Talk to him to figure out what's going on, but if you aren't on the same page don't continue.
If he's telling you something LISTEN to him, don't try to "read between the lines" or put your own agenda on it. I go back and forth about the FWB thing. Sometimes it sounds great, but it never seems to work out how it should because one or both people get attached and usually it's inevitable that someone gets hurt.
I've had one situation that was a FWB thing and it only lasted for a few weeks. He ended up getting hurt when I started seeing someone else. I contemplated doing a FWB thing with the 23 YO I hooked up with a few weekends ago. But when I really started thinking about it and the place I'm in now, I decided against it. I don't want to put myself in a situation where I could get attached to someone who isn't right for me at all, just because I decided to have sex with him. I realized it was better to cut it off.