Has anyone done marriage counselling?

[kdmac]

DH told me over the weekend that he was unhappy and didn`t think he was in love with me anymore. After talking to him he said that he feels like he`s not good enough for me and I could do better than him. I`ve mad an appointment for counselling this week but am not sure what to expect and am confused about what DH wants.

[melindafelinda]

I'm sorry. I have. And although it didn't go the way I wanted it to, it still helped me realize some important things that allowed me to deal with the situation. Is your H willing to go? That is a good sign.

[annyong]

I haven't, but I just wanted to say I'm sorry. I think counseling is a great idea, and I hope that it helps clarify things for both of you. I wish you all the best.

[kellbell191]

We've done some joint sessions with DH's counselor and it has been really, really helpful.

And technically, no, an individual counselor should not be counseling you jointly. But you asked and that was my honest answer.

[kdmac]

He is willing to go, which is good. I`m just confused about if he`s unhappy with me or himself...

[kdmac]

He is diagnosed with Depression and is being treated.

[melindafelinda]

No one here will be able to answer that. You have to give counseling a try and listen to what he is saying. And then you decide how you want to respond to that. That is the only thing you can control.

[kellbell191]

Sept 5, 2012 13:54:55 GMT -5 kdmac said:

He is willing to go, which is good. I`m just confused about if he`s unhappy with me or himself...

Its a really complicated question. I'm going with DH because he's seeing a counselor for his own diagnosis, but we're married, so that diagnosis affect everyone and he needs my support.

I think for us it is a cycle. He's struggling with some things and those are his issues, but things I do or say can make them better or worse. We've also gotten ingrained in certain patterns of behavior and responses that aren't the healthiest for us, so we're working to change those. Am I the cause of his anxiety or depression? No, but I do have the power to make it better or worse on any given day.

I think the fact that your H is willing to go is a sign that he clearly isn't done with the marriage or with you. Sometimes when you're anxious or depressed its easy to become fatalistic. My own personal experience from depression was that it got worse post diagnosis and starting treatment before it got better.

[apelila]

OP, I'm sending you a PM.

[baconlettucetomato]

Sept 5, 2012 14:05:30 GMT -5 kellbell191 said:

Sept 5, 2012 13:54:55 GMT -5 kdmac said:

He is willing to go, which is good. I`m just confused about if he`s unhappy with me or himself...

Its a really complicated question. I'm going with DH because he's seeing a counselor for his own diagnosis, but we're married, so that diagnosis affect everyone and he needs my support.

I think for us it is a cycle. He's struggling with some things and those are his issues, but things I do or say can make them better or worse. We've also gotten ingrained in certain patterns of behavior and responses that aren't the healthiest for us, so we're working to change those. Am I the cause of his anxiety or depression? No, but I do have the power to make it better or worse on any given day.

I think the fact that your H is willing to go is a sign that he clearly isn't done with the marriage or with you. Sometimes when you're anxious or depressed its easy to become fatalistic. My own personal experience from depression was that it got worse post diagnosis and starting treatment before it got better.

This is us as well but it's my diagnosis he deals with. I'm sorry you're going through this OP. Hang in there.