XP: Hiring a divorce lawyer-financial concerns

[ErinExpat]

Hey everyone. I'm ready to bite the bullet and file, get this whole ball rolling. I have never dealt with a lawyer at all and am completely ignorant to the process.

How do I go about getting a lawyer, and fast? H will be back in town tomorrow morning and I would like to take care of this today. He will be in town through Monday afternoon. I have spoken the "divorce" word out loud, but for myriad reasons, want to keep things otherwise calm while he's around for the sake of DD.

This is the issue: I am a single mom and I don't have a lot of disposable income. At this point, I can afford a few consultations. I get paid in about ten days and would have a bit more flexibility, but things are still tight.

In terms of a retainer fee, I don't know how I would swing that (I guess I could ask my parents for help but it makes me uncomfortable), but I am really worried that I will end up with a bargain-basement attorney who just takes whichever case.

Are payment plans a thing? I don't care if I'm paying this off for the foreseeable future, but I want a legitimate lawyer who will do things right, even if I can't put down huge retainers up front. I am pretty sure I make too much to qualify for legal aid, and there is the timing issue, as well.

Fuck. This doesn't exist, does it? What can I do?

[Deleted]

I would try to get personal recommendations for attorneys rather than just looking them up. If you know anyone who has been divorced semi-recently, can you quietly ask them who they used? Or, if you know any lawyers in other fields, ask them for a referral.

In my area, I would be wary of a lawyer who did not charge a consultation fee and require a retainer for a contested divorce. Around here, any respectable divorce lawyer will charge hourly and take a retainer of at least a few grand up front. Depending on how acrimonious your divorce will be, it would be worthwhile to consider borrowing money or opening your own credit card to charge it. In my area, many lawyers will do an uncontested divorce for a flat fee. I don't know to what extent this varies by geography.

[ErinExpat]

It will definitely be a contested divorce.

[arielroux]

I found my lawyer through a referral from a friend.

His initial consultation was free, if I decided to retain him - I had a certain amount of time to decide. If I decided NOT to retain him, I would have been charged $200 as a consultation fee. The retainer was $2,500. His agreement was, $1,700 of that $2,500 was non-refundable. And once we reached $2,500 in fees, I would be billed in 0.25 hour increments. Luckily, my divorce was fairly easy and quick, and I ended up getting almost $600 back when the divorce was final. When all was said and done, we had only gotten to like $1,900 in total fees, so the rest was returned to me.

I do know that he offered payment plans, if needed. I think most attorneys DO offer payment plans.

Good luck to you!

[esdreturns]

My lawyer charged me a $7500 retainer. I charged $6000 of it and borrowed $1500 from my mom. I do think some lawyers will take payment plans so maybe you can ask that when you call? I'm sorry it's going to be contested. I would look into Legal Aid even if you think you won't qualify because you just never know. And if you have to borrow money from your parents, well if they will lend it to you sometimes you just have to do what you have to do, you know?

[Deleted]

Look in to legal resources in your area.

My lawyer had a free consultation. Then her retainer was $1,000 but my divorce was fairly easy, I was just too lazy to do it by myself.

She only took check or money order. Luckily I had the money but if I didn't, I would've used my credit cards to pay other bills to free up cash or asked my parents for the money. Are either of those an option?

In the end I think I got back about $150 because she billed less than the $1,000 covered.

So I'd go ahead and get the consultation so you have your ducks in a row, then you can discuss payment options. Good luck to you!

[arielroux]

Also, I'm sure it will be uncomfortable to ask for financial help from your parents, but I'm sure they'd rather lend (or give) you the money than have you continue on in unhappy marriage. I know so many people whose parents very willingly gave them money to retain a divorce lawyer, and never wanted anything in return other than to get their child out of an unhappy home. Please ask for the help if you need it.

[ErinExpat]

Update: my parents have agreed to pay the retainer. I'm still worried about ongoing costs, but it sounds like payment plans are more common that I thought.

[1confused1]

I was able to work out a payment plan with my attorney. Also, look for attorneys that have paralegals or assistants that can handle some of the paperwork, their hourly fee will be less.

[statlerwaldorf]

I think all of the good attorneys in my area charge a retainer. I had to borrow money from my parents which I really did not want to do. It was completely worth it when it came to custody.

[arielroux]

Aug 4, 2016 10:40:43 GMT -5 ErinExpat said:

Update: my parents have agreed to pay the retainer. I'm still worried about ongoing costs, but it sounds like payment plans are more common that I thought.

I liked your post for your parents agreeing to help, not because you're worried about ongoing costs.

You're doing what's best for you and your child - It will all be worth it in the end.

I really do wish you the best of luck with getting the ball rolling.  It takes a strong person to do this.

[zitiqueen]

Aug 4, 2016 10:40:43 GMT -5 ErinExpat said:

Update: my parents have agreed to pay the retainer. I'm still worried about ongoing costs, but it sounds like payment plans are more common that I thought.

Do you have any credit cards in your name only? If you get those 0% interest for a year-type checks from them, this would be a good time to take advantage of those. 

[ErinExpat]

Aug 4, 2016 10:43:52 GMT -5 1confused1 said:

I was able to work out a payment plan with my attorney. Also, look for attorneys that have paralegals or assistants that can handle some of the paperwork, their hourly fee will be less.

I have found an excellent firm here and spoke with the legal assistant on the phone. It was an extremely informative call and I am cautiously optimistic about them being the right choice. They will work with clients as far as payment plans, etc.

I already feel so much relief from making the call. But it's just getting started. It's going to be an ugly fight, guys.

[1confused1]

ErinExpat, hugs. My divorce was heavily contested and pretty nasty, feel free to reach out if you need to vent or need advice.

[greysgirl]

I did a $1500 retainer for my lawyer and did a payment plan for the rest. I'm sorry that it will be such a fight for you.

[esdreturns]

Aug 4, 2016 11:34:06 GMT -5 ErinExpat said:

Aug 4, 2016 10:43:52 GMT -5 1confused1 said:

I was able to work out a payment plan with my attorney. Also, look for attorneys that have paralegals or assistants that can handle some of the paperwork, their hourly fee will be less.

I have found an excellent firm here and spoke with the legal assistant on the phone. It was an extremely informative call and I am cautiously optimistic about them being the right choice. They will work with clients as far as payment plans, etc.

I already feel so much relief from making the call. But it's just getting started. It's going to be an ugly fight, guys.

That's great! (not the ugly fight part, I'm really sorry about that). I hope things go easier than you are expecting. *hugs*

[nextbigthing]

I paid $100 for a consultation, then a $3500 retainer. She bills at $300 an hour in 6 minute increments.

Get someone experienced then they know the process and won't waste your time/money

Also, I don't call or email unless I have all the details on what I need. I remind myself that each 6 minutes costs me $30


Good luck, it's stressful, we all get it. Stay strong and stick to your guns