Family sending 13 kids to college and living debt free

[winnied]

How one family is sending 13 kids to college, living debt free — and still plans to retire early

By Erica Johnston August 11 

Sam and Rob Fatzinger, second and third from right, of Bowie, Md., have 13 children, including, from left, Barbara, Robert, Kolbe, Alex, Mary, Cecelia and Dominic. (April Greer/For The Washington Post)
Sam Fatzinger prowls the aisles of an Aldi grocery store with an engineer’s precision. Workers greet her, mostly by name.

She puts several trays of chicken into a huge cart. Then it’s on to fresh blueberries for $1.79 a pint, in February. And she recalls the time the no-frills store had a sale on potatoes: 10 pounds for 99 cents. She bought 60 pounds. Her husband loves them.

To get these best buys, “it’s just watching and waiting and knowing,” Sam says.“Every cent counts.”

At the cashier, her groceries fill every inch of the conveyor belt. My silent guess: $250 in all. The bill: $127, half of my estimate.

Very impressive. But not as impressive as this:

Rob and Sam Fatzinger, lifelong residents of Bowie, Md., lead a single-income family in one of the country’s most expensive regions. Rob’s income never topped $50,000 until he was 40; he’s now 51 and earns just north of $100,000 as a software tester.

They have 13 children. Which means they require things like a seven-bedroom house and a 15-passenger van. Four children have graduated from college, three are undergrads and six are on the runway.

Yet they paid off their mortgage early four years ago. They have no debt — never have, besides mortgages. And Rob is on track to retire by 62.

This family gets the gold medal for being frugal. This family is the Einstein of economical.

These days, frugality is not about clipping coupons. It’s about rethinking your finances, and maybe your life.

Rob’s philosophy: “Spend money on what makes you truly happy and on what you enjoy. ... The thing that people need to understand is that we don’t feel deprived or poor. ... We pick and choose carefully.”

The Fatzingers are getting it done.

Could you?


A Fatzinger family portrait with, from left, Caleb, Kolbe, Alex, Mary, Joey, Cecilia, Barbara, Dominic, Lizzie, Robert, Rob, Eric, Sam and Ray. Not pictured: Joshua. (April Greer/For The Washington Post)
Frugality is hardly new. In 1789, George Washington wrote to Marquis de Lafayette, the French military officer who fought for the American Revolution: “Nothing but harmony, honesty, industry and frugality are necessary to make us a great and happy people.” And we were a frugal people well into the 20th century. Then came the era of instant credit, rampant consumerism and record personal bankruptcies.


Recently, frugality has gotten a boost thanks to hundreds of personal-finance bloggers, and no thanks at all to the Great Recession of 2007-2009. Many focus on FIRE, an acronym for financial independence/retire early.

Aspirants often strive to save at least 25 percent of their take-home pay over the years, or even twice that — or more — to feel financially secure or to pursue a new career. Others yearn to quit their jobs for the long haul, even in their 30s.

One leading blogger grew up on food stamps. Others learned about money from their parents, for good or ill. The best are innovative, funny and surprisingly philosophical as they chart a course for change and places unknown.

They’re about ideas and possibilities, not suffering. And millions are listening. Until a couple of years ago, Rob Fatzinger had a blog called Sardonic Catholic Dad, focusing on family, faith and frugality. Two of his hits: “College on the Cheap — How the Sardonic Family Does It” and “How to Retire Early With 13 Kids,” which he wrote as a guest post on the FIRE site Mad Fientist.

Frugalism is often about math, determinationand thinking a bit differently. A few key principles: How much you save, as a percentage of your paycheck, will foretell when you’ll be able to build your own business or retire. Small financial changes can make a big impact. And it’s not really about your income; it’s about your savings, says Pete Adeney, a lapsed engineer from outside Boulder, Colo., who created the popular Mr. Money Mustache blog.

And then there’s the “miracle” of compounding interest, the gift that keeps giving as your investment’s interest spawns its own interest, time and again.


Dinnertime can be hectic for the Fatzingers, although they've learned shortcuts to speed the process through sharing and passing silverware. (April Greer/For The Washington Post)
The Fatzingers would never claim to be financial magicians. But to outsiders, it might look that way.

After marrying 27 years ago, Sam and Rob started a small Christian bookstore in Crofton, Md., and soon had a daughter. Rob said the couple never earned more than $36,000 a year in the business. Still, they saved 10 to 15 percent of their earnings. By the time they shuttered the store in 2000, they had seven kids.


About 10 years ago, Rob got the job testing software. Earnings of $40,000 gave way to $60,000 and are now about $110,000, counting a few thousand from mowing neighbors’ lawns and other tasks.

Back in 2000, they bought a five-bedroom house out of foreclosure and later added three bedrooms. Nine children, including the youngest, who is 4, live there now.

The good news: The home cost $150,000. The Fatzingers paid down $50,000, saving interest on the 15-year mortgage.

The bad news: Sam said their priest, visiting to bless the new home, “walked in and said: ‘Should I do an exorcism on this house?’ ” The place was in serious disrepair.

“Relatives gutted it and made it livable,” Sam said. “Youth groups were over here, ripping up carpet, taking down walls.” Someone gave them a wood stove. A relative gifted them a used couch. Later, another couch was left on a curb for anyone to take. Score.

Years later, they enlarged the kitchen, using two zero-percent finance offers good for 12 months. Eleven months later, they paid off the loan, without paying any interest. The project cost $28,000, with family members doing much of the demolition, painting and decorating.

Now they have two refrigerators, two stoves, two dishwashers and a welcoming, comfortable home. (Even the clothes washer is a champ. Sam estimates that the family cleans 42 loads a week, but never on Sundays. The only children who don’t do the wash are the 4- and 6-year-olds.)

Since the mortgage was paid off in 2012, Rob and Sam have turbo-charged their savings rate, now investing about $3,000 a month. Even so, they don’t go without. Sam has a $10 monthly gym membership, and Rob and Sam go out for lunch on the 20th of each month, maybe at Red Robin Gourmet Burgers and Brews in Bowie, marking the day of the month they got married.

Occasionally, Sam and Rob are annoyed by strangers at the grocery store. “People still say, “Oh my God, you have so many kids!” said Sam, a devout Catholic, as is Rob. “I have this ‘Don’t mess with me’ reaction. I’m not your typical, quiet, passive woman.”


Rob, 51, is soft-spoken, a work-from-home dad and a former “American Idol” fan. A few years back, he finished a 50-mile trail run — and kept going to 54.

Sam, who is 48, home-schools the children through high school and is certified to do so. The kids also get outside tutoring. Her nonacademic lessons extend to the rules and responsibility of money.

“My kids all get jobs as soon as they’re old enough,” she says, and they “learn to discern between needs and wants. They pay for their cellphones, they pay for college, they pay for their own gas.” Allowances? Nope.

Daughter Barbara, 20, a rising senior at the University of Maryland Baltimore County, started babysitting at 11. She got her first “real job” at Rita’s Italian Ice. Babysitting, she noted, “paid way more than Rita’s.”

When she was 15, Barbara bought a 1994 Ford Escort with 30,000 miles for $2,600 from her savings. “It sat in the driveway until I got my driver’s permit,” she said. Five years later, “I still drive it.”

The family shops at sales or secondhand stores and checks out the Freecycle Network, a site for giving away belongings.

Friends and strangers also chip in. “We always have someone dropping off a bike,” Sam said. “We would get things and not even know where they came from.”

Someone stuck an anonymous $500 gift card on the Fatzingers’ front door. And a pair of size 3 white shoes for church wound up on the doorstep for a young daughter who could use them.

“Bowie just does that,” Sam said. A friend from church gave them a used car, and Sam’s sister gave her a used red Chevrolet Suburban. And later, an older white Suburban.

Fine. Except this is America. Surely the kids are seething cauldrons of Nike-deprived resentment.

Or maybe not. “I always had a ton of clothes,” Barbara said. “I would go with Grandma and buy any cute clothes I wanted.”

Older brother Caleb: “I can see how some people would think ... we might have been deprived. It was never like that.” He played soccer at a small Christian school, was a counselor at a summer camp and swam at a community pool. The kids had cable TV and high-speed Internet. In community college, Caleb said, he “knew I didn’t have what some other kids had, but it was never out of control.”


As for the givers: Sam’s sister, Joan Salvagno, who is 11 years older than Sam in a family of nine, said her sister’s family “needed the car more than we did. ... You don’t really think of them as gifts. ... We’ve gotten more than we’ve given.”


The children head down the driveway for a family bike ride. (April Greer/For The Washington Post)
These days, even the childless can be terrified of college costs, so just imagine having 13 kids. But the Fatzingers have a strategy, and it’s working. The plan: Start in community college, don’t expect a handout from Mom and Dad, and graduate debt-free.

So far, Alexandria, the oldest at 26, graduated at 21 with a master’s degree in social work. Joshua, 25, graduated from the University of Maryland with a degree in kinesiology and became a missionary.

Caleb, 23, is in the last year of a doctoral program in physical therapy at the University of Maryland at Baltimore. And Lizzie, 21, graduated in May from the University of Maryland with a math major, while also cleaning houses and tutoring. All four graduated from college debt-free.

All five oldest Fatzingers have gone first to Anne Arundel Community College.

In Barbara’s first semester, her tuition, textbooks and gas money were covered by scholarships and other aid. In her second semester, she spent “probably $500” in tuition. The next year, she paid $700 to $1,000 per semester. After two years, she had paid about $2,500 at most. It came from savings and her job in a child-care center at a gym.

In September, Barbara started at UMBC, a public university with higher expenses. Her first year there cost about $15,000, after receiving a $5,800 scholarship based on grades and financial need. Money was tight. Again, she paid with her savings, which included money from a grandparent, who gives each child a one-time gift of $5,000 for college. Barbara used some of the gift money to stay in school, but she’s saving most of it.

She will soon begin her senior year at UMBC. She has a $7,500 stipend for tuition and five small scholarships “that will fill the holes.” In return for the stipend, she’ll work for a state child-welfare program.

Barbara has decided to live at home this year, which means she’ll be commuting and “won’t be spending at all,” she said in a text message. “And I WILL graduate debt-free.”

Next year, she’ll follow in oldest sister Alex’s footsteps, pursuing her master’s degree in social work at another school, which could take one or two years. A Maryland program will pay most of her tuition, and in exchange, she’ll work for a child-welfare agency for two or three years after she graduates.

In total, roughly speaking, Barbara has paid about $17,500 out of pocket for tuition, books, supplies and fees for four years of college.

Common mistakes you could be making for your retirement Play Video2:33
The Washington Post's Jonnelle Marte gives helpful tips to avoid frequent mistakes made by people while preparing for retirement. (Ashleigh Joplin, Jonnelle Marte/The Washington Post)
I asked if she had paid for all her expenses in her first year at UMBC. The $15,000, she said, “was all of my money that I’ve been saving since I was 8 years old!”

But even the Fatzingers can’t outrun the college-cost steamroller.

Caleb was fine in community college, where he paid “essentially nothing,” in part because of his good grades and aid. And he graduated debt-free at Towson University, a public state school, where he worked in the admissions office.

But when he began the doctoral program in physical therapy two years ago, he had to take out a loan. With aid more scarce in grad school, he said he’ll end up owing almost $90,000.

“I think about it a good amount,” said Caleb, who started working as a physical therapy technician at 18. “I try not to worry too much.” He hopes to pay off the loan in 10 years.

He has one more year to go. He works at the school gym some days at 5:30 a.m. and slips into class at 9:30. “I think I’ve done the best I can,” he says.


Barbara goofs off with Cecilia and Mary. The Fatzingers have a seven-bedroom house. (April Greer/For The Washington Post)
The Fatzingers’ recent challenge: Joshua, the oldest son, is getting married in November — in Arizona. Could they all get there?

There was considerable concern. With 13 kids, the need to be frugal never takes a vacation.

At the end, they got three plane tickets for free, using air miles. Then they bit the bullet and bought 10. They’ll all be at the wedding.

My advice: Never bet against the Fatzingers.

[panicked]

So... This isn't so much that they are sending the kids to college as much as it is they are making the kids pay for their own college. I have zero issues with that, but I'm not going to give them a medal for being Duggar-ish.

[winnied]

Aug 12, 2016 15:38:22 GMT -5 panicked said:

So... This isn't so much that they are sending the kids to college as much as it is they are making the kids pay for their own college. I have zero issues with that, but I'm not going to give them a medal for being Duggar-ish.

True, the title is misleading. I appreciate, though, that they acknowledge the gifts received for college tuition, cars, etc. They've still accomplished a lot!

[andwhat]

I didn't really look at the surname, but given the area I just assumed the family was black.

But this county isn't known for the best schools (not that there aren't some great ones), but they definitely benefited from the ability to be able to homeschool and getting 5K from the grandparents for each kid for school. I don't know many families who can afford to do that. So while they live modestly they definitely had a leg up. And they bought in 2000 before the area had a ton of flipping companies buying up everything that was affordable and making a huge profit or they had a huge down payment.

I have no issue with having your kids pay for all or some of their college, but they definitely had a leg up.

[sfy]

Even with the "but"s, I could never do this. Good for them .

[Poppy]

It sounds like they've had a lot of help and they clearly stated they are paying nothing for their kids' college, so... I mean, they do seem to live frugally but so do a lot of people.

And what is going on with the "sharing and passing silverware"?!

[fryjack2]

This should have been a story about a devout Catholic family and how they live frugally with help. Not about how a family with 13 kids sent them all to college.

They seem to be a church charity case at times.

People have given them multiple free vehicles.

People have given them anonymous gift cards and dropped off shoes and boxes of clothes.

They don't pay for their children's college at all.

Their children have been given 5k from their gparents.

[Balki.Bartokomous]

They sure get a lot of handouts, don't they? My key takeaway from this is that I should find a local youth group to help me do my next home improvement project for free. And have a bajillion kids so that people feel sorry for me.

This is a good illustration, though, of how kids don't need to go into debt for college if they use a combination of lesser schools, hard work and saving early. I think too many people expect their kids to do all 4 years at the more expensive schools. If you don't have the money, it's crazy. Do your first 2 years at the cc, then switch. Your diploma will still have the fancy name on it.

[hermione]

I didn't read this as a frugal family making it. I found it to be much more about a frugal family receiving a lot of help.

Which, fine. But I'm not sure what purpose the article serves or what point it was trying to make.

[miniroller]

Aug 13, 2016 3:51:20 GMT -5 VillainV said:

Makes you wonder how many of the donators are aware of this, huh? Or better yet, how they'd feel hearing that the family to whom they regularly donate has a monthly savings that possibly/ probably triples their own?

I'd be interested in hearing their plans to give back some of the magnanimous help they've received once they have an empty nest/ free up a large portion of their budget.

[VillainV]

Aug 13, 2016 4:04:36 GMT -5 miniroller said:

Aug 13, 2016 3:51:20 GMT -5 VillainV said:

Yeah, I get that they are frugal, but "get people to feel sorry for you and give you free stuff/services" isn't useful financial advice for me. It kills me that they are saving $3k a month and are still accepting hand-outs.

Makes you wonder how many of the donators are aware of this, huh? Or better yet, how they'd feel hearing that the family to whom they regularly donate has a monthly savings that possibly/ probably triples their own?

I'd be interested in hearing their plans to give back some of the magnanimous help they've received once they have an empty nest/ free up a large portion of their budget.

I deleted my post because I felt it was a little uncharitable of me. I mean, we are well off, but if someone wanted to give hand-me-downs to my kid, we would accept too. We definitely pay it forward though, and I feel like we give/donate much more than we receive. This article doesn't say that they DON'T donate things. It was definitely written to portray the family as a charity case.

I still think it's a worthless article from a financial/savings/frugality standpoint. I don't have a network of people who would provide me free labor to renovate my house or grandparents who would give my kid 5k toward college.

[Deleted]

I agree that the title is misleading (clickbait-ish), though also appreciate that, in the metro DC area there is a lot of moaning about how the cost of living / cost of education makes it "impossible" to get ahead - from folks that are bringing in considerably more than the family in this article - and have far fewer kiddos!

Norming around 4-year college (paid for by parents) is far too common and can create a sense of entitlement for the children, in some cases. While there are some things in the article I find a bit depressing - yay, one lunch out each week - to Red Robin - the work ethic and comfort with being a bit different in order to create a strong, secure foundation for their family is something admirable.

And - all that, and a Mr. Money Mustache reference!

[mainelyfoolish]

Aug 12, 2016 20:56:39 GMT -5 Balki.Bartokomous said:

This is a good illustration, though, of how kids don't need to go into debt for college if they use a combination of lesser schools, hard work and saving early. 

And coming from a large family with a moderate income which qualifies one for need-based financial aid. 

My two kids, spaced four years apart, aren't going to do as well with the need based aid strategy. 

[barefootcontessa]

We really want to pay for our five kids to go to college, which we estimate means we need to have $1M saved. Given our current income, this amounts to saving about 40% of our take-home income. We live in a fairly expensive area, so it is tough getting there. I am looking to take on more work to help us get there. Deep down inside, I am hoping my big dog dad will help some but I am not counting on it.

[msmerymac]

Aug 13, 2016 6:50:36 GMT -5 @shoegal said:

I agree that the title is misleading (clickbait-ish), though also appreciate that, in the metro DC area there is a lot of moaning about how the cost of living / cost of education makes it "impossible" to get ahead - from folks that are bringing in considerably more than the family in this article - and have far fewer kiddos!

Norming around 4-year college (paid for by parents) is far too common and can create a sense of entitlement for the children, in some cases. While there are some things in the article I find a bit depressing - yay, one lunch out each week - to Red Robin - the work ethic and comfort with being a bit different in order to create a strong, secure foundation for their family is something admirable.

And - all that, and a Mr. Money Mustache reference!

They bought a foreclosure in 2000 with the right amount of space, then were able to tap into an extensive network if friends and family to remodel and add on. Not exactly typical of the average DC area resident.

[MrsE]

That is amazing. Bowie is a lot less expensive than DC proper or places inside the beltway, but that's still impressive.

[wesleycrusher4ever]

In my state, high school students can take community college classes for free. Which I did, and then my kudzu league school wouldn't accept community college credit. So, I think making community college the plan works but it depends where the student will go after the first two years.

[winnied]

Aug 13, 2016 10:37:23 GMT -5 wesleycrusher4ever said:

In my state, high school students can take community college classes for free. Which I did, and then my kudzu league school wouldn't accept community college credit. So, I think making community college the plan works but it depends where the student will go after the first two years.

My college was the same way, although I didn't try to transfer but I know it was a awful for those that did. Still, I think this can work for a lot of people. 

Completely anecdotal, and I'd be curious to see research, but I've noticed that a lot of young adults that go to CC first end up not finishing degrees at all. Because of my experience/observation before going to college, it made me much less enthusiastic about that option. 

[VillainV]

Aug 13, 2016 10:37:23 GMT -5 wesleycrusher4ever said:

In my state, high school students can take community college classes for free. Which I did, and then my kudzu league school wouldn't accept community college credit. So, I think making community college the plan works but it depends where the student will go after the first two years.

Many in many states, an Associates Degree from a state community college, with a GPA above 3.0, earns the student transfer admission and credit to a four-year state school. So it can be an effective way to pay for half of a four-year degree. And students usually transition better from HS and get better grades at CC (smaller class size plays a big factor).

[imojoebunny]

Honestly, I think having 13 kids is insane, but I can't knock them for teaching their kids to be MM and participate in supporting the family. They must be 1/2 decent at homeschooling to get the kids to college, and they clearly the kids going to college have a strong work ethic.

I worked with a guy with 7 kids who made about $60K a year. His wife also home schooled until high school, and their kids participated in a lot of extra curriculars, but also helped on their small farm where they grew a lot of their food, and with an guest cottage they rented out on weekends to tourist (he drove a long way to work and lived in an area popular with weekenders). Because of their income, their kids, at least 3 of them (I lost touch with him after that), went to a top 20 school, with virtually no tuition for families with their income level. I know a lot of people with 1 or 2 kids who don't teach or give their kids as much support as his family did with their 7, even making significantly more money. I am also guessing that people are willing to help them because they help other people. My coworker definitely helped other people out a lot, from taking in a neighbors child who was in a bad situation to giving excess food from their farm to seniors in his community to coaching lots of sports.

I would rather have parents like these, than some of the parents I encounter who don't put their kids first, second, third, or forth, or dump them on other people or spend money on their desires, rather than, their child's needs.

[Deleted]

If you have 13 kids, chances are they're eligible for so much financial aid that it doesn't even matter.

Also, if anyone would like to remodel a house and leave random gift cards while I feign poverty, please drop me a line.

[simpsongal]

Let's see how Caleb does with his $90K in mounting debt and another year of school to go - seems much more relatable than this family's experience.

[niq]

Aug 15, 2016 7:11:22 GMT -5 papiercherri said:

If you have 13 kids, chances are they're eligible for so much financial aid that it doesn't even matter.

I put the numbers for one of the middle kids entering college -- in this scenario, there were 3 kids out of college, 5 other kids ages 19-23 currently in college, another 4 that are still in K-12. $150k in income (I read the two numbers as combined income) but saving 15% for retirement. Their EFC was $2583 for, and $7617 using the institutional method.

If you multiply that by six (is that how it works?), the federal method is 60% the total cost of attendance for a flagship state school, and 25% of the cost of a private school. The institutional method is the cost is just under 2x the cost of a state school, and 75% of the cost of a private school.

I don't think a single year sounds mortifying, but the idea of doing that for seventeen straight years is pretty astounding. Though if you've already paid off your house maybe it's not such a big deal.

[sfy]

Aug 15, 2016 12:05:50 GMT -5 simpsongal said:

Let's see how Caleb does with his $90K in mounting debt and another year of school to go - seems much more relatable than this family's experience.

Cold world.

[simpsongal]

Aug 15, 2016 15:56:29 GMT -5 sfy said:

Aug 15, 2016 12:05:50 GMT -5 simpsongal said:

Let's see how Caleb does with his $90K in mounting debt and another year of school to go - seems much more relatable than this family's experience.

Cold world.

I should have added, it is impressive what they have done. But I agree with all the OPs above too. I wonder if they tithe 10% too.

[Deleted]

Aug 12, 2016 17:32:14 GMT -5 @kirkette said:

Forget the college part
13 kids?
Da Fuq?

Right! I even cringe at 13 SaveSave