Daycare classroom transition - WWYD?

[Susie]

Hobbes' daycare has 2 infant classrooms of 8 babies each.  The daycare is in the middle of transitioning from a model where kids progress from infant 1 (roughly 4-12m) to infant 2 (roughly 10-18m) to toddler (at 18m), to a model where infant 1 and 2 are parallel rather than serial, and kids stay with their teachers/peer groups/classrooms until a first transition at 18m to toddler.

Hobbes is 9m, and has been in "infant 1" for a little over 4 months.  Last week I talked to the director, because I knew Hobbes is at the age where a transition could be upcoming.  She told me that she was working out the plan for the 16 babies come September, and she had Hobbes staying where she is to 18m.  My initial reaction was relief.  She is thriving and very attached to her teachers.  Sometimes when I pick her up at the very end of the day, if her teachers have left or are unavailable (and especially if she's tired) she's pacing the halls in a stroller or in another teacher's arms because she's upset about not having one of HER teachers there for comfort.  In contrast, at drop-off or at pickup from her teachers she's all smiles and waves.

Director called me today, and wanted to know what we thought of transitioning after Labor Day after all.  There's a child who is older than Hobbes who was supposed to move up to infant 2, but has some delays and the parents just decided they would prefer not to move her.  I guess it's been an ongoing discussion.  Director wanted to know how we felt about Hobbes moving in her stead.  At 9m, Hobbes is on the young side for that peer group (which is all currently 1 year olds), and it would mean new classroom, teachers, and peers starting in 1.5 week.  Not much lead time at all.  I was talking to a dad this morning whose daughter made the move earlier this summer and he said she's still struggling with it. 

On one hand, I feel for the other family.  Whatever the delays are, I'm sure they're stressed about it.  OTOH, my gut says Hobbes isn't ready to leave her teachers yet.  There's a reason I was relieved that we weren't going to have to, and I'm feeling Mama Bear-ish about Hobbes being the last minute solution to their problem.  

We aren't obligated to agree to the move; we have the option to say no, we want Hobbes to stay put.  WWYD?

[lurknomore]

Our daycare transitions babies every 6 mo. So it is new teachers, etc. For the most part we've never had a problem with it. I always found that by the time transitions come around, my girls have been more than ready to go developmentally, and thrive being in the environments with older kids rather than being the oldest. They always form attachments to teachers, esp at that young age. IMO, the developmental aspect outweighs the teacher attachment and I would prob transition.

[shevacc]

I think you should do what makes you most comfortable. FWIW, my two kids both got bored with "infant care" sometime during their 11th month, and were "over it" by the time they turned one. Whereas at 9 months old, they were both definitely still "babies". Can you delay/ask for a slower transition? In a few months, you might be happy for the change.

[ellipsis]

My DD just transitioned about a month ago and is much happier with the older kids. She is picking up a lot of things by watching them at mealtimes and things like learning to wave, sign language, etc. She was attached to her old teacher too and is slowly warming up to her new teachers. Any transition is tough (she is pretty wiped out by the end of the day now), and similarly she moved up "early" to allow another baby/former preemie to catch up on their eating skills.

[Susie]

Aug 25, 2016 13:37:51 GMT -5 shevacc said:

I think you should do what makes you most comfortable. FWIW, my two kids both got bored with "infant care" sometime during their 11th month, and were "over it" by the time they turned one. Whereas at 9 months old, they were both definitely still "babies". Can you delay/ask for a slower transition? In a few months, you might be happy for the change.

No, either we transition early (in September) or we sit tight until May 2017 when she's 18m and goes to the toddler class.  If they were staying with the old model, she'd probably have transitioned in Oct or Nov., when she was closer to a year.  I'd have been ok with that, but this feels too soon. 

I'm also worried because we are going on vacation in September, so we'll be leaving for a week right in the middle of the transition.  The timing doesn't feel great.

Either way, the two infant classrooms will go to the same toddler class at the same time.


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[lindsaymg]

As someone whose daughter just had a rough transition to the toddler room at 12 months I would ask to stay. She comes home exhausted and I never see her as she crashes as soon as we get home. The pace of the new room is so.much.more. After two weeks she doesn't freak out and cry at drop off but she doesn't have the same super happy look I felt she had in her old room with her old teachers.

Last night I picked her up at 4:50 and she was melt down tired by 5:40 and took a "nap" until like 8 when I woke her up to give her a bath, dinner, books, etc. I just miss her face.

[AmyRI]

It sounds like Hobbes is attached to multiple caregivers? Can you compromise and have one of her familiar, preferred caregivers in the new room for a couple of weeks or a month to help with the adjustment period?

Honestly I prefer the serial transition. My kids got more out of seeing their older peers ahead of them and struggled when they were the oldest in their classroom. I can't imagine a walking, talking/signing 18mo getting enough attention when they share a caregiver with 3-6 month olds.

[arch01]

Aug 25, 2016 14:00:14 GMT -5 AmyRI said:

It sounds like Hobbes is attached to multiple caregivers? Can you compromise and have one of her familiar, preferred caregivers in the new room for a couple of weeks or a month to help with the adjustment period?

Honestly I prefer the serial transition. My kids got more out of seeing their older peers ahead of them and struggled when they were the oldest in their classroom. I can't imagine a walking, talking/signing 18mo getting enough attention when they share a caregiver with 3-6 month olds.

So much this. It's definitely kid dependent, but my kid has traditionally been awesome as the youngest in the room and a giant shit as the oldest, mainly because at the younger ages, there's SO much developmental difference with even a couple months of age difference.

I'd transition now. Kids are resilient. 

[pinotgrig]

This is a tough one. Transitions for us have always been mostly a non-event with ds1 being back to normal within a week. He's yet to get super attached to any teacher save for one, though he adores most of them. Our center also transitions about twice a year, which helps.

A few thoughts -
1. The short notice for transition doesn't bother me. I'm not sure how you as a parent prep any kid for that, much less a 9 month old. Do they do warm intros where the kid spends a few hours in the new room in the week leading up to the move? Ds1's teachers have figured out he does better going cold with his group of friends, though.

2. The age difference bothers me a little. It doesn't seem like much, but depending on how mobile she is vs the potential new class (which could have some kids walking) would be something to consider. I suppose this is an issue even in peer groups, but on top of a room move as well, I'd want to explore.

3. Have you met the new teachers or can you get a feel for how her daily routine will change (daily schedules for each class are posted outside all the rooms at our center)? How many naps does the new room take? Do they sleep in cribs or are they moving them to mats?

In the end, I think you have to go with your gut, but make sure your gut isn't being all "my baaaaby" about it (which is how I would be, I know).

[countthestars]

I would transition now. Change is harder for parents than kids

[Deleted]

Older infants was so much cooler for both my boys. Table food plus more toys. I'd give it a shot so long as the kids in the room don't seem drastically more advanced with gross motor skills.

[kershnic]

I would probably just do the transition. I like the idea of an early toddler room more than having a 3-18m room all together. Transitions are often hard but you just do it and you get through it and then they're done and the next thing you know they're really attached to the next teacher.

But if you don't want to do it don't feel guilty about saying no.

[steamboat185]

I'd transition now she'll be over it in a couple of days and get attached to her new teachers in no time.

[mpc]

At our daycare Infant 1 is 6 weeks - 6 months, Infant 2 is 6-9 months, Infant 3 is 9-12 months, and Toddler 1 is 12-18 months, etc. So they changed rooms/teachers a lot in the beginning. It never really seemed like a problem, the kids adjusted quickly. My biggest concern would be mobility. Are all the 1 year olds running around? OTOH, it might jut encourage your daughter to try to walk earlier. On the whole, I wouldn't be too worried about the move.

[ewall]

I would do it now. DS switched daycares at 9 months and didn't miss a beat. Went from the infant room at his original daycare to the mobile infant/toddler room at the new place. He loved being in with older babies/toddlers because there was so much going on. He was only at the new place a week or two, then had a week of vacation, but did fine with that transition as well.

It's a tough decision because those teachers have been taking care of your baby since daycare day 1 so you yourself are attached to them.

[shevacc]

Aug 25, 2016 13:46:12 GMT -5 Susie said:

Aug 25, 2016 13:37:51 GMT -5 shevacc said:

I think you should do what makes you most comfortable. FWIW, my two kids both got bored with "infant care" sometime during their 11th month, and were "over it" by the time they turned one. Whereas at 9 months old, they were both definitely still "babies". Can you delay/ask for a slower transition? In a few months, you might be happy for the change.

No, either we transition early (in September) or we sit tight until May 2017 when she's 18m and goes to the toddler class.  If they were staying with the old model, she'd probably have transitioned in Oct or Nov., when she was closer to a year.  I'd have been ok with that, but this feels too soon. 

I'm also worried because we are going on vacation in September, so we'll be leaving for a week right in the middle of the transition.  The timing doesn't feel great.

Either way, the two infant classrooms will go to the same toddler class at the same time.

I don't love this new class setup they have planned. There's a huge difference between 12 months and 18 months, almost as much as between 6 months and 12 months. That said, it sounds like you can't change that. What you can change is whether your kid is the oldest in the class or towards the middle. I would prefer a month or two of possibly rough transition over 6+ months of possible boredom as the oldest one. Neither solution is ideal, but I'd move up sooner to avoid being stuck later. I don't like when my kid is the oldest in a classroom. Both my kids have started to act out when they've gotten bored, then I feel like a crap parent as they bite/hit or otherwise act out to express their boredom.

[magpie]

I would transition now...or ask if they can delay the transition until right after your vacation, if that's possible. I don't think I'd worry a ton about it either way though. Transitions can suck or go smoothly, but they are a necessary reality and will pass. I say this having survived some rough ones!

[starburst604]

This is tough. I can't imagine L having moved out of infant at 9 months, but at the same time I can't imagine her in an infant room until 18 months. At 15 months she is more than ready to move to what our place calls "young toddler" next week (that room starts at 15-18 months and they stay there till next September). She's outgrown the toys and play area and is ready for more stimulation. At 18 months she would be a total bull in a china shop.

Honestly, every transition will be hard (mostly on you!) whether you do it sooner or later. The idea of being with older peers is appealing to me. I am hoping being with some older kids now will help L along with her language. I will also say that her separation anxiety was NOTHING at 9 months compared to now - so I think we would have had an easier time transitioning back then. While I know she will enjoy herself once she settles in, I dread the new drop off next week for this reason. Every child is different with that of course. I'm pretty sad that she won't be with her beloved teachers every day, who were so, so great, but I know it's the best for her (and we also don't have a choice).

[countthestars]

I will also say that my DD is very, very sensitive and has transitioned much better than I've anticipated both times. I think being full day with the new teachers is different from having a floater for a short period in the afternoon.

ETA: oh, yeah. We don't really "transition".

Thursday: "bye green room!"
Monday: "hello red room!"

[kath16]

To me, tehre is a pretty big difference between 9 months and a year for most kids. Walking, talking more, bottles vs. sippies, milk vs. formula vs. food, whatever else

Our kids are around the same age, and I would say that as long as they are engaging the "older" infants (8-12 months) with different interactions and toys than the 0-6 month group, I'd stay put. I'm with you that I would be annoyed that they are trying to "force" her to be the solution.

ETA: Wait, I misunderstood the OP (I think). So if she doesn't move now, she's in an infant room until 18 months? That seems weird. If that is the case, I'd move her now/after your vacation.

[nessness]

Are there set naptimes and meal times in the older room, and if so, do you think she's ready for that?

DD transitioned at 12 months, and she was exhausted the first couple weeks, but since then she's been thriving. It seems like in the infant room, most of the teachers' time is spent feeding, diapering, and putting babies down for naps, whereas in the toddler room there is more time for activities and more outdoor time. Plus they have better toys. So I'd lean toward moving up, though I understand your concern with her being only 9 months.

[Susie]

These are all good questions about naps, meals, etc. I can ask more at pickup today. I was not prepared with questions when she called me today.

Currently, Hobbes eats purees and drinks bottles at daycare, so she's very much in "baby" mode. But she's ready to add finger foods (does it at home) and she walks around on all 4s and pulls up to standing, so I see lots of mobility in her very immediate future. I would like to see the infant 2 classroom tonight just to get a mental picture of it. I am feeling really torn because I would like Hobbes to be a little further along with feeding herself, etc. before moving up, but OTOH I think she may become a bull in her current china shop soon.

She also currently is on a 2 nap schedule at home, but utterly fails at it in infant 1. She usually fights naps hard and only gets 1 at daycare because stuff is happening so chaotically with young infants who are not on schedules. I need to ask how that would work in infant 2.

[midwest07]

Aug 25, 2016 14:15:50 GMT -5 @starry said:

I would move her up. The only caveat being if they would force nap times in the next room. I know some daycares move to one nap at one year old and I shudder thinking how DD1 would have handled that at 9 months.

I think this would be my biggest issue. Our daycare transitions around 12 months as there is space, and then they go to a roughly 12-18 month room, then to toddler. In the 12-18 month room, they work on moving to one nap a day. Because of kids and ages and such, DD won't go to that room until she is around 14 months and I am kind of happy about that because I think she will still need her 2 naps at least until then.

On the other hand, I think DD might be walking by around 11 months and I wish she had more exposure to older babies/toddlers for that and for watching them eat and talk and play with less "baby-type" toys.

It's too bad this isn't in a month from now because I bet you would be ready to switch.

[thebreakfastclub]

Our center has one infant room, ages 0-12m. The next room is 12-24m.

My son moved over at 14m, after waiting for a space to open up. I remember thinking how small he seemed next to kids who were almost 2. He didn't walk until 15m, so that made it seem even worse to me.

In the end, he had a great transition and loved the new room and the older kids. I would move her. She will do little art projects and more fun things.

A bonus was my son responded great to the one nap routine - he hardly napped in the infant room but did so well with the group nap.

[vtdiamond]

Our center has 3 infant rooms and 3 toddler rooms. So our kids have changed rooms every 4-5 months. They have done great so far with the transitions. Our classrooms have half walls so you can see the next room up which helped. They also will consolidate with the neighboring classrooms as well so it's not brand new when they move up. We're usually given a weeks notice on classroom changes which has been fine.

I would change now as well. As much as she's attached to the teachers now, she'll be even more attached if you wait and change later. I can see that being a tough transition after a year with the same teacher. I think it's also good for them to be exposed to the older kids. I think it's helped my kids with starting to walk and talk be seeing the others doing it.

[Blue Moon]

My daughter transitioned early and was the youngest in her "twaddler" room by a few months. I was worried about her transition because she too loved and was attached to her infant teachers. But the change was great for her. As a bonus, in the older room where everyone naps at the same time, she also became a great daycare napper. Her infant room teachers still come in to hug when they are walking by and she loves it.

[nextbigthing]

I'd transition now. The first week might be rough, but she will adapt better now than at 18 months.

DS moved to the young toddler room at 12 months, he wasn't walking yet, but he's done great, I think a little peer pressure from the bigger kids is good for them to hit milestones. Plus, and I'm seeing this now, they start to get bored when they get on the older end of the class. He's about to move to the toddler 2 class at 18 months and he's ready.

[ellipsis]

Wanted to add that my DD became a much better napper when she switched over to group nap time with the toddlers. She typically naps for 1.5-2hrs where with the infants she would fight a 40 minute nap and then wake up pissed off.

She still takes 1 cat nap and 1 longer nap on the weekends.

[fashionx]

Even though I agree it's too early I'd rather transition now vs. at 18 months.

My center starts the toddlers at 15 months, and I had hoped (and expressed interest in) having DD start in that room at 13.5 months when we begin going to daycare, vs. having her start in the older infant room and transitioning after 2.5 months. But they told me that licensing wouldnt allow her to start early in that room, so we would have to start in the older infant room. I wanted to even more after visiting the daycare with DD and seeing that the room was really 5-15 months rather than the 8/9 months being the youngest. I feel a little weird about having her be the oldest and only walker. Although they told me that 2 other 13 month olds would be starting around the same time and I am hopeful about that.

Would your DD be the only one her age if you transition now? How far apart would she be from the current youngest in the toddler room?

[water*drop]

Aug 25, 2016 14:15:50 GMT -5 @starry said:

I would move her up. The only caveat being if they would force nap times in the next room. I know some daycares move to one nap at one year old and I shudder thinking how DD1 would have handled that at 9 months.

I agree with this. Our center still naps on demand in infant 2, which is 6ish months (or whenever they start crawling) through 16ish months (the infant 2 room is divided in half so the competent walkers aren't plowing over the crawlers). I wouldn't want my baby forced down to one nap until they started naturally trending that way on their own. Save