FGF Funny - McMansion Mockery

[wawa]

This has made me LAUGH AND LAUGH so far this morning.  Also educational if you've ever been curious about architecture nerd stuff.

This is the only thing that occasionally makes me wish that emmy hadn't gone totally shitballs crazy, because I sure did like mocking terrible "architecture" with her.

www.mcmansionhell.com/

I also like that it's not just straight up architecture snobbery, but has a healthy dose of pointing out all the ways that you can tell these houses were just built like shit (mismatched walls, etc).  Because I have no problem living in an ugly house if it's the location I want and has the stuff I want inside (I mean...my house is pretty ugly from the outside) but most of these places are just built out of crackerjack boxes and hope and it pains me.  Mocking them makes me happy though.  

[cosmowife]

I love this blog!

[wambam]

This is where I should confess that given all the money in the world, I'd probably unashamedly live in a McMansion. I don't have all the money in the world, so no worries about that becoming reality lol.

#thebasicest

[calamity]

She is very funny, enjoyable read!

[Deleted]

I love this!

We've been house hunting for a long time and the stuff people build and sell is just amazing to me. SO MUCH CRAP.

[Deleted]

Aug 26, 2016 7:31:59 GMT -5 wambam said:

This is where I should confess that given all the money in the world, I'd probably unashamedly live in a McMansion. I don't have all the money in the world, so no worries about that becoming reality lol.

#thebasicest

Except that given all the money in the world, you could just buy a plain ol' mansion.

[imojoebunny]

That's hilarious. The Tuscan Suite from Rooms to Go C.2004 made me spit out my coffee.

[dirtyred]

It's not a McMansion, but the previous owner/builder of our house went overboard on the recessed lighting.  Twenty seven recessed lights in 5 rooms.  It's ridiculous.

[wambam]

Aug 26, 2016 8:02:31 GMT -5 rvan0905 said:

I'm scared to click on the link because I'm pretty sure my house will be on there! 

This is why we are going the custom route with the next house.  I let my husband chose this one, and I can't even begin to explain how fucking annoying living in a gigantic, empty space with no storage, wavy walls, and cheap cabinets is, especially at NOVA prices.  I now completely understand why my neighbors build a new house every 10 years, even if it kills me from an ecological standpoint.

WHAT

[wawa]

Aug 26, 2016 7:31:59 GMT -5 wambam said:

This is where I should confess that given all the money in the world, I'd probably unashamedly live in a McMansion. I don't have all the money in the world, so no worries about that becoming reality lol.

#thebasicest

See.....if you had all the money int he world you could live in an ACTUAL mansion.  Why would you settle for a poorly designed, impossible to heat and cool, ugly monster of wasted space and questionable choices on an undersized lot when you could have an actually lovely home of whatever size makes your skirt fly up?

I don't hate on big, luxury houses across the board.   I hate on BAD houses. 

But it's ok - you can live in a McMansion and I'll still love you.   

[dottyblue]

OMG at the "Mansion Vs. McMansion" entry.  "Schizophrenic Gothic Tudor" is KILLING me.  LOL

[froggy76]

OMG, I love this blog. I live in an old house in the land of McMansions. I'm constantly fighting the desire to add onto my house so I can have everything BIG like my friends do, even though I really love my house and it works for our family.

Some of these pictures are soooo tacky!

[bernsteincat]

"The built in pizza wheel was a short lived trend"

Ha. Gotta add this feed on Tumblr (which I don't actually know how to use beyond watching funny gifs of cats.)

[ufcasey]

Haha loved this!

[Awkward]

That was beautiful. "Three story Pringles can of shame." 😢

[Deleted]

Omg this is amazing

[wawa]

Aug 26, 2016 8:06:59 GMT -5 dirtyred said:

It's not a McMansion, but the previous owner/builder of our house went overboard on the recessed lighting.  Twenty seven recessed lights in 5 rooms.  It's ridiculous.

If MH was allowed to make all lighting related decisions unchecked this would be my house. 

I swear he wants to make it feel like we live on the surface of the sun.  ALL THE LIGHTS.  ALL OF THEM. 

[pixy0stix]

I loathe McMansions.

It's just all too much.

[OscarQ]

I've spent the past hour and a half on that tumblr. Clearing the rest of my day.

[Susie]

[pixy0stix]

Aug 26, 2016 9:24:29 GMT -5 wawa said:

Aug 26, 2016 8:06:59 GMT -5 dirtyred said:

It's not a McMansion, but the previous owner/builder of our house went overboard on the recessed lighting.  Twenty seven recessed lights in 5 rooms.  It's ridiculous.

If MH was allowed to make all lighting related decisions unchecked this would be my house. 

I swear he wants to make it feel like we live on the surface of the sun.  ALL THE LIGHTS.  ALL OF THEM. 

We're putting in a ton of recessed lighting in our kitchen. In my defense, it's a black whole of nothingness right now. It gets about 15% natural lighting because there's a covered porch covering the window/patio door.

[greeneggs]

Dead, y'all, I'm fucking dead from this. I live in a Dallas suburb and these are aaaaallllll over. My Happy Meal home is only 2100 square feet but we have giant high ceilings, wacky angled walls, weird half circle windows all over, zillions of recessed lights, bizarre columns between the kitchen and living room, and a fake bay window in the master where only two windows are to the outside and one opens into a tiny useless hallway. I put up with this wackiness because I have a sweet open white kitchen, a giant walk in pantry, three car garage, no wasted rooms, and next year when DS starts kindergarten we're across the street from the school so getting him there is going to be soooooo easy.

A friend of mine lived in a real legit McMansion and her house was ridiculous. The entire downstairs living area was open and rooms were "divided" into defined spaces by little dinky columns with espresso wood and dark golden beige everywhere. The stairs went directly up the center of the second floor so her upstairs had a big circular hallway that all the bedrooms and the playroom opened to that I always called the racetrack. Because everything was so big and open it was impossible to get all the rooms to a comfortable temperature at the same time and they spent over $10K trying to get the HVAC right before they sold the place and moved to something smaller and better laid out.

[lingome]

This is good! I loathe McMansions. I am not an architecture or design expert but there are so many things about these homes that grate on my nerves. I like how this blog validates and better explains my reactions

The neighborhood next to ours is filled with McMansions that my husband often comments he wishes we could have. You couldn't pay me to live in one. Aside from the design aesthetics... All that space! Why? I lose things easily enough in our one story, modest sized house, and the cleaning and upkeep would be more than I care for.

[downtoearth]

Love this..."a turret is for raining fire upon one's enemies, not showroom lighting"



I also am laughing at the random column in the window area. WTF?

[downtoearth]

Aug 26, 2016 9:24:29 GMT -5 wawa said:

Aug 26, 2016 8:06:59 GMT -5 dirtyred said:

It's not a McMansion, but the previous owner/builder of our house went overboard on the recessed lighting.  Twenty seven recessed lights in 5 rooms.  It's ridiculous.

If MH was allowed to make all lighting related decisions unchecked this would be my house. 

I swear he wants to make it feel like we live on the surface of the sun.  ALL THE LIGHTS.  ALL OF THEM. 

Bwa ha ha ha... so funny.

[andwhat]

I guess our new house is borderline McMansion. It doesn't have a 3 car garage and it is completely useful. It just didn't make sense to us to pay almost the same price for an older home that needed tons of upgrades when we could buy a new home that is really well built and exactly what we want. Its also how everyone here is all 'I would never live in a community without an HOA' That doesn't really exist around here.

[satsuma]

Aug 26, 2016 10:24:20 GMT -5 andwhat said:

I guess our new house is borderline McMansion. It doesn't have a 3 car garage and it is completely useful. It just didn't make sense to us to pay almost the same price for an older home that needed tons of upgrades when we could buy a new home that is really well built and exactly what we want. Its also how everyone here is all 'I would never live in a community without an HOA' That doesn't really exist around here.

Not all new, larger homes are McMansions, though. And I don't equate "really well built" with being a McMansion either. Many of the McMansions I've seen have stone or brick siding that only covers the lower half of the front of their house. Just lots of cut corners in terms of costs. 

[georgeglass]

Well, this makes me feel better about my old house with the bathroom ceiling I can paint without standing on anything. Just reach up! I don't even need to really stretch.

Cozy!

[spinnaker5]

Thank you so much for this! I wish I didn't have actual work to do today but can't wait to read through it all!

And also, share with H - SEE, MR SPINNAKER, I AM NOT THE ONLY PERSON WHO GETS STABBY WHEN THEY SEE PALLADIAN WINDOWS SLAPPED ONTO A FAUXDOBE OR OTHER BUILDER- BASIC MONSTROSITY.

[wawa]

Aug 26, 2016 10:34:02 GMT -5 @juno said:

Great. There goes my weekend. I miss you on h&g.

I lurk occasionally.  And I think of you every time I do yoga in the living room and marvel at how well my mom's handmedown real wool handmade rug is holding up.  that shit is indestructible.    But once we wrapped the last round of renos I didn't even want to THINK about house crap for a while.

We're probably going to start thinking about it next year again - maybe tackle the landscaping next fall?  Also at some point my kitchen appliances are going to go tits up and we'll have to do something in there.