My patient died.

[studytime45]

And I'm kind of fucked up about it. 

I had never seen a respiratory rate of 4 before. Wow. Ugh. 

He was finally made palliative about an hour before he died, and I kept him comfortable, I hope.  

Man. 

[jlt19]

I'm so sorry, that's got to be really tough to take. I'm sure you did the best that you could.

[sonrisa]

I'm sorry. You did what you could to ease his transition.

[Deleted]

Sorry. There's always a weird calm after a patient dies. It can't be explained. It's ok to feel weird--you (are a nurse, right?) were his care giver and you provided him/her with comfort and compassion at a time when they needed it most.

[feistypants]

You provided the best kind of care at a time when he needed it. You helped him to die comfortably and with dignity. Death is never easy. Hugs to you.

[hisno1girl]

I'm sorry.

I've always had a high regard for those in medical care. Losing a patient can't be easy.

Take care of yourself. His family should be glad you were there for him.

[revolution]

Big hugs. Death is never easy and I hope you can find some peace.

[lilybug]

It's really tough. Especially the first few times. Palliative care and letting a patient pass calmly can feel like you have to fight down your caregiver, life-saver instincts. But I remind myself that I'm giving my patients the same care that I would want in their situation.

Lean on your coworkers, we've all been there. PM me if you want, too. Hugs.

[sharknado]

I broke out in hives at 9pm everynight for 3 weeks after I lost my first patient. It sucks donkey balls.

[letsgetweird]

I'm sorry

[greenlight]

I'm sorry.

[HiC]

I'm sorry.

[muffin0]

I'm so sorry. I would be a mess. You are an amazing person for being able to give him care, comfort and compassion in his last hours.

((hug))

[fernweh]

I'm so sorry, I know that can't be easier but you did what you could. I have a lot of respect for nurses and because I know I couldn't do what they do.

[curtains]

I am so sorry

[gogadgetgo]

I'm so sorry. Hugs

[pinkeggs]

I'm so sorry. The first time I had a patient die I was surprised how much it affected me. Take care of yourself. Hugs.

[notoriousmeg]

I'm so sorry. I can't imagine being in the medical profession. It really puts what I consider a rough day in to perspective.

[rnrun]

I'm sorry. It's never easy to lose a patient. I've learned over time, though, how to cope with patient losses better.

Be kind to yourself tonight, and in the coming days.

[vicky]

I'm sorry darling.

[Aquatica]

I'm sorry, losing a patient is hard. ((hugs))

[nsl]

I'm so sorry.

[honeychai]

I can't imagine.

Thanks for doing the work you do.

It's important.

Take it easy tonight.

[1confused1]

I'm so sorry, that must be hard.

[DotAndBuzz]

I'm so sorry. This is one of the hardest parts of nursing. It's also something that never really gets easier. At least it didn't for me. I cried every time, with each set of parents, and I remember every patient that died/was let go "on my watch." I usually had an anxiety attack when I got home, and would have to take a Xanax to go to sleep so that I could come back for my next shift.

It doesn't get easier, but it does become less scary, if that makes sense. Like someone mentioned above, there is an interesting calm when it is over, that I can't really describe, but that calm becomes less uncomfortable with time. It still affects you, but it isn't as startling or scary. I don't know if that makes any sense, but that's the only way I can describe it.

Be gentle with yourself, and don't hesitate to talk to your manager, or a mentor if needed. Truly. No matter the situation, it's never easy. ((((((hugs))))))

[blondemoment123]

I'm sorry

[amandakisser]

You are a good person, and a great nurse, because you have compassion. I have no doubt that man felt safe and comfortable during his last hours on this earth. Take care of yourself!

[gilmoregirl]

I'm so sorry. *hugs to you* what you do is amazing and I admire you for choosing this line of work. It takes a special kind of person to care for others.

[ksun]

I'm sorry. I'm glad he had you.

[swagger]

I've lost so many patients over the last umpteen years. A lot were hospice. I can't remember all their faces, but there are a handful that haunt me. I knew them better than others or their stories just hit close to home. It never gets easier. I would cry on the way home or in the med room. We'd go get drinks after a hard shift to talk it out.

The fact that it hurts means that you're doing your job. Make sure you're talking about it. It helps process the feelings. Being a nurse isn't just about healing people, it's helping people get through their worst whether that is palliative care or IV antibiotics.

Have a drink / ice cream / whatever your "thing" is. Relax and let yourself cry.