Some reading for you

[betsyray]

I posted this in randoms a few days ago, but we didn't really discuss and I think it bears repeating given today's actions on MMM. I just wanted to reiterate that we should be reading these threads and thinking and talking about them because we need to work on our group as well.

TamiTaylor   (linking again--thanks for compiling the list)

HEY GO READ SOME SHIT!

Start on page 6 or 7
pandce.proboards.com/thread/549926/longer-post-cute-kids

pandce.proboards.com/thread/550408/new-name-feeling-terrible

pandce.proboards.com/thread/461033/flame-free-racial-thread



pandce.proboards.com/thread/551285/read-listen-learn-boo-kitties

[melmon0417]

This is fucking disgusting.

[Faevantastic]

I am so fucking angry and disgusted. And I'm tired of it going on and on. Same shit over and over again.

[imimahoney]

I responded to your post the first time and I just posted in the most recent thread.

Most of us lurk there in some capacity and we should comment on their behavior if only because it will hopefully make us more aware of our behavior.

[katfco]

Thank you for sharing this. I don't read that board, so had no idea what was going on. It's infuriating, sickening and vile.

[betsyray]

It's hard because I'm far from blameless and I don't want to post the "reading, listening, learning" BS. I grew up in a bubble and I am trying to learn to do better now. But I think we have to talk about these things to do better.

Like, the Lena Dunham stuff in the news lately and her assumption that of course a black man was sizing her up for sex. Or Colin Kaepernick and the anthem (which I fully support, our anthem is racist and we are a country that doesn't support POC in any way shape or form). But I hesitate to post these articles and I need to work on why.

[Deleted]

I've been trying to catch up on all of it and just did and now there's something new again today. It makes me sad and frustrated that we can't/won't do better.

I don't even know what to say because our board had/has the same issue, and we are now missing several amazing WOC because of it.

[fryjack2]

I have barely been on here today ( boys 1st day of school) and at first thought this was a post from last week and wondered why it only had 3 responses.

Then I saw you posted it only a few hours ago and went over to MMM.

Its the same shit over and over. But less than a WEEK after all the conversations being had??! Disgusting. Fucking disgusting.

The name of that chat group is also disgusting.

Why do people do this secret group shit? Its going to get back here at some point or another. How do people not know that? I'm glad this group's BS was outing now.

[katfco]

Sept 8, 2016 18:27:35 GMT -5 betsyray said:

It's hard because I'm far from blameless and I don't want to post the "reading, listening, learning" BS. I grew up in a bubble and I am trying to learn to do better now. But I think we have to talk about these things to do better.

Like, the Lena Dunham stuff in the news lately and her assumption that of course a black man was sizing her up for sex. Or Colin Kaepernick and the anthem (which I fully support, our anthem is racist and we are a country that doesn't support POC in any way shape or form). But I hesitate to post these articles and I need to work on why.

I think sometimes as white people, it's hard to feel like we have the "right" to, almost as if we're co-opting the issue. At least, that's what I've struggled with at times, but then I realized we have an obligation to speak up and share the outrage. 

[imimahoney]

The reading, listening crap felt so damn condescending to me (but obviously it isn't about me). It just seemed like people said that because they were called out and felt the need to repeat the same lame line over and over again.

And yeah, we are white privileged women and I think we probably feel awkward or maybe even out of place posting a race related article here. I know there have been spurts of more action in the past but it really seems like something we need to get the fuck over.

[PatBenatar]

I read the shit that went down last week but missed the latest. Unreal. We suck at this and it costs the community very valuable and intelligent board members.

[mlkgls]

I haven't finished the entire thread and don't know the full backstory, but I don't know how the hell anyone thought this was okay?! Even living in a thick bubble. 

[honeybee503]

Holy shit.

[chirpchirp]

Wow. I read last week's threads and now there is even more? Despicable

betsyray and imimahoney, you articulated how I have felt about what and how we choose to post.

[imimahoney]

Sept 8, 2016 19:58:31 GMT -5 jamaicam said:

I've been following over there as well.

katfco I tend to post my more 'serious' stuff over on CEP and read over there too. I know you follow there too. But I think you and imimahoney are right that we need to do some of that over here too.

I also go there my "serious" reading and I really enjoy learning and taking in what they have to say but I know not everyone does.

[carawestt]

Wow. I don't go to that board, expect for BST stuff, so I had no idea this was going on. Why is the same shit happening over and over again? It's disgusting.

[spaghetticat]

I'm reading through the posts now. I'm trying to understand the train of thought where you act like or think you are supportive and then go do this chat thing and not realize how wrong and awful it is. And then to just put your tail between your legs. Over and over.

[Na]

Wow. I cannot believe we keep hurting each other like this

I've been trying to educate myself more and start dialogue with my H and my family. I've been reading the threads and articles about microaggressions and bias. I have a long way to go. I never realized how much unconscious bias I carried. I really thought I wasn't racist at all. I wrongly believed that being colorblind was the "right" thing. Seems so stupid now. I've committed many many microaggressions that I had zero idea about. It is a humbling thing learning you are so ignorant. I am mostly just trying not to put my foot in my mouth while I'm learning more. I don't want to contribute any further hurt to any people of color.

As far as this bullshit on MMM today I don't even know what to say. Wrong on so many levels, so catty, immature, ridiculous, and racist as well. We are adults! Raising babies! Unbelievable.

[ktstorm]

I lurk there occasionally, but have been busy this week and didn't see this was going on. I am horrified at the name and content of that private chat.

As a side, I will say that I am grateful that there were some specific posts linked that talk about how to discuss racism with your kids. I will admit I wasn't sure where or how to start which I have learned is part of the privilege I'm afforded.

[Deleted]

Ive seen this link posted in some threads in MMM. I know it can't fix all issues, but I think learning and expanding knowledge can only help. I'm bookmarking it to watch the lectures. oyc.yale.edu/african-american-studies/afam-162#sessions

[katfco]

Sept 8, 2016 19:58:31 GMT -5 jamaicam said:

I've been following over there as well.

katfco I tend to post my more 'serious' stuff over on CEP and read over there too. I know you follow there too. But I think you and imimahoney are right that we need to do some of that over here too.

yes, I tend to forget to post things like that here, too

[mcburglar]

I do not go to other boards since the app was abandoned so I hadn't been paying much attention to what was happening over there.

I think we do such a disservice in painting racism as the choice of rural/less educated/republicans. It makes it easy for racism to simmer without discussion.

[PatBenatar]

Sept 8, 2016 20:44:43 GMT -5 mcburglar said:

I do not go to other boards since the app was abandoned so I hadn't been paying much attention to what was happening over there.

I think we do such a disservice in painting racism as the choice of rural/less educated/republicans. It makes it easy for racism to simmer without discussion.

Agree.  I think some of the worst cases of racism are the people that don't think they're racist and get defensive when called out.  It's uncomfortable to accept that you are racist and biased, but necessary for change.

[breezy8407]

I read some of the MMM threads last week and now this.

H&F was my "home" board when this place started and I saw it posted there since @sessalee (sp?) was a mod. So disgusting. The whole thing.

[claralou]

Thank you for sharing the links here. I'm not done reading because it was making me nauseous and I needed a break. But I will finish them tonight.

I only look at other boards when someone posts a link, and if more serious conversations happened here, I'd absolutely participate. That sounds hypocritical, because I'm not starting those conversations myself. I need to seriously examine more closely why that is.

I posted a few months ago and asked if anyone was interested in a check in style thread on talking about race and discrimination with our kids. A few people said they were interested. I dropped the ball on that, both because I wasn't sure many people would respond and also because I didn't know what to even call a thread like that and both things made me wary. But working through that discomfort is the entire fucking point, so if anyone's still interested, I'll own it. Thoughts?

[Deleted]

Sept 8, 2016 20:44:43 GMT -5 mcburglar said:

I think we do such a disservice in painting racism as the choice of rural/less educated/republicans. It makes it easy for racism to simmer without discussion.

I think people have a big issues with thinking "they're worse then me" so I'm not the problem, which helps nobody and will get us nowhere. I know I think that sometimes when I see some blatantly racist post on Facebook, but I am really trying to work on it. I had somehow never even heard of micro aggressions until a few years ago.

[Faevantastic]

We had a speaker from Yale come at work and provide a seminar about implicit bias. At the end of it, someone (high level white male and I'm talking about REALLY high level here) asked the professor how they can distance themselves so they don't offend a POC. I wanted to bang my head against the wall.

[claralou]

Sept 8, 2016 20:44:43 GMT -5 mcburglar said:

I think we do such a disservice in painting racism as the choice of rural/less educated/republicans. It makes it easy for racism to simmer without discussion.

Agreed. I'm horrified at how long - and how vehemently- I've participated in this kind of thinking. Horrified.

[PatBenatar]

Sept 8, 2016 20:59:02 GMT -5 Faevantastic said:

We had a speaker from Yale come at work and provide a seminar about implicit bias. At the end of it, someone (high level white male and I'm talking about REALLY high level here) asked the professor how they can distance themselves so they don't offend a POC. I wanted to bang my head against the wall.

Wow.  And presumably this person makes hiring decisions, etc? Having these type of people at the top just perpetuates the systemic racism that's already running rampant in our society.

[chirpchirp]

Yes mcburglar, I agree totally. There were a few posts (one by stilljustash stuck with me the most) from the MMM thread that brought this up as well