Solange Knowles and "White Spaces"

[rjamz]

Another example of white privilege that I never even thought about and proof that it literally effects every single person of color - even Beyoncé's sister - and that we make their experience of the world drastically different from our own

Solange Knowles: Where do black people 'belong'?
www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-us-canada-37342514

Following an incident between her family and a group of white women at a concert, singer Solange Knowles penned an essay explaining how black families are made to feel uncomfortable in "white spaces".
While attending a Kraftwerk concert in New Orleans, Louisiana, with her husband, 11-year-old son and his friend, Knowles drew the ire of a group of white women seated behind them.
Knowles began live-tweeting from the concert, where she estimated she and her family were among only 20 black attendees in a crowd of 1,500 white concert-goers.
"4 older white women yell to me from behind, 'Sit down now'. I tell them I'm dancing at a concert. They yell, 'u need to sit down now'..." Knowles tweeted. "You are telling ... not asking me ... to sit down. In front of my child."
Knowles wrote that the incident culminated in the women pelting her with trash and a lime wedge.
"I'm just going to share my experience ... So that maybe someone will understand, why many of us don't feel safe ... in many white spaces," she tweeted.
But some criticised Knowles for starting "drama" and said she had been rude for standing.
A short item about the incident in the New York Post called her complaints a "Twitter rant".
At some point, Knowles deleted almost all her tweets describing what happened.
On Sunday she published an essay titled And Do You Belong? I Do on her website Saint Heron.
She explained why the incident was not isolated, and why her response should not be treated as celebrity gossip.
"The tone," she began. "It's the same one that says to your friend, 'BOY…. go on over there and hand me my bag' at the airport, assuming he's a porter.
"It's the same one that tells you, 'ma'am, go into that other line over there' when you are checking in at the airport at the first class counter before you even open up your mouth."
Knowles said that even before the dancing incident, a security guard brusquely ordered her son and his friend to stop smoking.
She writes that two adult white men were actually the ones puffing away.
It was just the latest in a series of incidents in which Knowles felt she was aggressively, dismissively or rudely treated in spaces that seemed to be reserved for white people.
She said she didn't feel as though the people she encountered "do not like black people", but instead were a "product of their white supremacy and are exercising it on you without caution, care, or thought".
"Many times the tone just simply says, 'I do not feel you belong here.' You and your friends have been called the N word, been approached as prostitutes, and have had your hair touched in a predominately white bar just around the corner from the same venue."
Knowles' essay was met with praise and support online, including from actress Gabrielle Union.
"I can relate to everything @solangeknowles experienced. This is real & it happens everyday. We are not making it up," Union wrote.
Another Twitter user wrote: "@solangeknowles' piece is a good reminder for anyone who thinks famous & affluent black people are immune to racism."
By penning her own essay about the incident, Knowles writes that she hoped to take control of the conversation and avoid focusing on what she might have done to deserve the treatment she received.
"We belong. We belong. We belong," she concluded.
"We built this."

[rjamz]

Here's a link to her essay, which is very powerful saintheron.com/featured/and-do-you-belong-i-do/

[carawestt]

I'm so sad that this happens and especially that people say that they're either imagining it or over exaggerating.

[shevacc]

Thanks for posting this. I know I've asked random people wearing red in Target questions before, and I'm not surprised that kind of stuff happens much more frequently to people of color.

[artgal84]

Thank you for sharing this, it's a powerful piece, I just sent it on to my H to read too. It's pretty eye opening that people can be that terrible and that she knew before she even spoke out that she wouldn't be given the benefit of the doubt. I never thought of things in terms of spaces, that's a really good analogy and it will stick with me.

[rjamz]

What really stuck with me was the automatic assumption that it was her 11 YEAR OLD son and his friend who were smoking instead of the adult white men nearby. Like artgal84 said - they weren't even given the benefit of the doubt that we, as white mothers, would automatically assume our children would get.

[blane12]

Thanks for posting. I can't believe they would assume her 11 yr old son was smoking...I mean, I do believe her, but that blows my mind. I hadn't thought about it was "white spaces" before, and like artgal said, it's eye opening. And so, so sad.

[artgal84]

Oh and on the textbook part- in grad school we spent a lot of time in one course analyzing textbooks. We had charts where we would mark what we saw in the pictures and how people were depicted. It blew me away, it was something I hadn't really paid attention to before in that much detail and depth. Now every time I read one I can't unsee it or stop noticing.

[imimahoney]

It's just disgusting how people of colorare treated in this country. And wtf to her being forced to delete her tweets. I find it incredibly brave if her that she is able to share her experiences so openly.

[dbe100408]

I keep typing and deleting. I can't imagine someone accusing DS1 of smoking (he's 12). She handled that situation with far more class and grace than I would have. I'm certain I would have shown my ass if someone accused my son of that. It's a travesty how she and her family were treated, and even more so that it is so ingrained in our society to happen this way.

[thedahliharpa]

Sept 13, 2016 14:07:24 GMT -5 @tambcat said:

I would never say THAT stuff. What's really sad that we can spot and decry all of that shit and still make the spaces we dominate (including here, apparently) uncomfortable for black people.

This is something I've been thinking about, along with the colorblind messaging. It's easy to fly under the radar with silent bias and prejudices because we are well versed in being so fucking politically correct. It's much easier to just say the right thing and move on without acknowledging the real problems and our responsibility for them.

[claralou]

Why the fuck isn't this all over my news feed? When Jennifer Aniston wrote an article about the disrespect women face in public and private life it was EVERYWHERE. Rhetorical question, obv. Raaaage.

Thanks for posting this. I'm glad she took the time to share what had to be a truly awful experience. It's not her responsibility to educate the masses on this bullshit, but she did a damn fine job nonetheless. I hope it gets the media attention it deserves.

"Predominantly white spaces". That's a phrase I'll now never forget. Jesus.

[honeybee503]

It's so upsetting that they were treated that way. Throwing trash at them? WTF. I hate that she has to worry about how what happened is going to be misconstrued by the media. It's unfair, and wrong on so many levels.

[thedahliharpa]

Sept 13, 2016 14:48:46 GMT -5 jamaicam said:

Interesting article. Like others have said, the assumption that it is her son and his friend who are smoking is horrifying. As is the rest of it but as a mum, that bit really stood out to me.

This. 11 is really not much older than H. I'm imagining being at the Hollywood Bowl with her in a couple years and someone assuming she was smoking, right in front of me. It wouldn't happen, to us.

[carawestt]

The part about her 11 year old being the one smoking really stood out to me too.

[Deleted]

Sept 13, 2016 14:48:46 GMT -5 jamaicam said:

Interesting article. Like others have said, the assumption that it is her son and his friend who are smoking is horrifying. As is the rest of it but as a mum, that bit really stood out to me.

Yeah, it is awful The US has a big issue with viewing black boys as men way earlier (and well before they are men) than white boys.

[Deleted]

That's for posting this article. There are so many things engraved in my privilege that I never thought of until recently, the issue of white spaces included.

[laurensmomma]

I mean, people dance at concerts, right? It's not like they were at the Symphony were everyone sits and she was standing up to dance and block everyone's view behind her. (Even if she did it at the Symphony, she should not have been treated like that). My point is it's expected that you're going to be spending most of your time at a concert on your feet, right? Main reason why I rarely go, lol.

I'm disgusted that she was made to feel like she had to delete her tweets (That's how I read the article). What's even sadder is that I, along with a few PPs would have gone off on either these white women or the white men who made the smoking comment, and probably nothing would have happened to us. But if she had gone off on these people, you can be sure things would have escalated real quick.

[ashleydl83]

Sept 13, 2016 15:48:45 GMT -5 thedahliharpa said:

Sept 13, 2016 14:48:46 GMT -5 jamaicam said:

Interesting article. Like others have said, the assumption that it is her son and his friend who are smoking is horrifying. As is the rest of it but as a mum, that bit really stood out to me.

This. 11 is really not much older than H. I'm imagining being at the Hollywood Bowl with her in a couple years and someone assuming she was smoking, right in front of me. It wouldn't happen, to us.

There's so much in the article that I'm just floored by. Micah is 11. Eli is almost 10. I feel bad that I'm at a loss for words, but it truly blows my mind. I know it shouldn't, but it does.

[ashleydl83]

Sept 13, 2016 16:50:38 GMT -5 laurensmomma said:

I mean, people dance at concerts, right? It's not like they were at the Symphony were everyone sits and she was standing up to dance and block everyone's view behind her. (Even if she did it at the Symphony, she should not have been treated like that). My point is it's expected that you're going to be spending most of your time at a concert on your feet, right? Main reason why I rarely go, lol.

I'm disgusted that she was made to feel like she had to delete her tweets (That's how I read the article). What's even sadder is that I, along with a few PPs would have gone off on either these white women or the white men who made the smoking comment, and probably nothing would have happened to us. But if she had gone off on these people, you can be sure things would have escalated real quick.

I've only been to one concert (sad, I know lol) and there were people standing on seats, dancing in the aisles, etc. I was kind of baffled by that too.

And the part about her having to delete tweets is sad. I've read articles on different celebrities' Twitter rants and people deleting them, or just going back to apologize, but she had nothing to apologize for.

[katfco]

Thanks for posting this. I remember first hearing about this when Obama became president, and the disrespect he was treated with. So many African-Americans were saying, "Yep, we've all experienced that," and lots of white people were dismissing their perspectives.

It feels like we're conditioned to explain it away and find some way to find fault. Killed by police? Well, you must have done something aggressive. White people threw trash at you at a concert? Well, you shouldn't have been standing and you should have been politer. They thought your 11-year-old was smoking? Well, it was just a mistake.

We need to stop allowing excuses, and I don't know how to do it.

[rjamz]

Sept 13, 2016 16:50:38 GMT -5 laurensmomma said:

I mean, people dance at concerts, right? It's not like they were at the Symphony were everyone sits and she was standing up to dance and block everyone's view behind her. (Even if she did it at the Symphony, she should not have been treated like that). My point is it's expected that you're going to be spending most of your time at a concert on your feet, right? Main reason why I rarely go, lol.

I'm disgusted that she was made to feel like she had to delete her tweets (That's how I read the article). What's even sadder is that I, along with a few PPs would have gone off on either these white women or the white men who made the smoking comment, and probably nothing would have happened to us. But if she had gone off on these people, you can be sure things would have escalated real quick.

Would we though? Or would we see this evidence of white privilege and uncomfortably look away?

I like to think I would have said something, but I probably would have rolled my eyes and made a comment to my friend about how "of course they thought it was the black kid" at the smoking thing. Then I would have patted myself on the back for being so enlightened. The throwing trash...that I would probably have spoken up about.

[The Foozzler]

Thanks for posting. I've never thought about the idea of white spaces and reading about her experiences definitely changed my perspective. And the fact that no one spoke up about the garbage throwing? That sucks.

[TrudyCampbell]

Geez, this is awful. I was going to say what Claralou said- why haven't I heard about this outside of here? I keep almost saying "I can't believe this happened!". But, of course, I do believe her that this happened and my first reaction should not be one of disbelief.

[Faevantastic]

No one deserve to be treated like this but it happens so often. And then those assholes probably have children who are growing up turning into assholes. So, the cycle keeps going and going. It's maddening.

[chirpchirp]

Thank you for sharing. Her essay is heartbreaking.

[jsillyfun]

This reminds me of a local story where a group of black women were kicked off the Napa wine train for being "too loud" basically laughing and talking. There is no way in hell a similar group of white women would have been kicked off.

[laurensmomma]

Sept 13, 2016 22:11:01 GMT -5 rjamz said:

Sept 13, 2016 16:50:38 GMT -5 laurensmomma said:

I mean, people dance at concerts, right? It's not like they were at the Symphony were everyone sits and she was standing up to dance and block everyone's view behind her. (Even if she did it at the Symphony, she should not have been treated like that). My point is it's expected that you're going to be spending most of your time at a concert on your feet, right? Main reason why I rarely go, lol.

I'm disgusted that she was made to feel like she had to delete her tweets (That's how I read the article). What's even sadder is that I, along with a few PPs would have gone off on either these white women or the white men who made the smoking comment, and probably nothing would have happened to us. But if she had gone off on these people, you can be sure things would have escalated real quick.

Would we though? Or would we see this evidence of white privilege and uncomfortably look away?

I like to think I would have said something, but I probably would have rolled my eyes and made a comment to my friend about how "of course they thought it was the black kid" at the smoking thing. Then I would have patted myself on the back for being so enlightened. The throwing trash...that I would probably have spoken up about.

Would we what? I'm sorry, I'm not following the question.

[rjamz]

Sept 14, 2016 9:48:32 GMT -5 laurensmomma said:

Sept 13, 2016 22:11:01 GMT -5 rjamz said:

Would we though? Or would we see this evidence of white privilege and uncomfortably look away?

I like to think I would have said something, but I probably would have rolled my eyes and made a comment to my friend about how "of course they thought it was the black kid" at the smoking thing. Then I would have patted myself on the back for being so enlightened. The throwing trash...that I would probably have spoken up about.

Would we what? I'm sorry, I'm not following the question.

Would we have gone off on the people who were acting like that?

[melmon0417]

Sept 14, 2016 7:55:29 GMT -5 Faevantastic said:

No one deserve to be treated like this but it happens so often. And then those assholes probably have children who are growing up turning into assholes. So, the cycle keeps going and going. It's maddening.

Exactly.

Also - I say this all the time. It costs nothing to be a decent human being, and not a total asshole. It also doesn't take much to friggin educate yourself. Being sheltered or not having the money to take classes, etc. is just not any excuse. Anybody can go to their local library, and use the internet to take a course, read a book, or read anything on the internet to educate themselves.

I'm so tired of people looking to POC to do the educating for them. It's just not their damn job. We need to get better, and then pass that down to our kids, as to not continue the cycle of racist assholes.

There is just so much in that article that blows my mind, and it is all heartbreaking.