Can't Even Do Right

[EnchantedSoul]

Who do you all think you're fooling? All of this faux support of black people all of a sudden is laughable. WHERE WERE YOU when skwcm80 and I were telling you that this shit was happening? WHERE WERE YOU when we were afraid for the lives of our loved ones? WHY DIDN'T YOU GIVE A SHIT THEN? You simple ass heifers could not have cared less about anything the two black posters on this board needed to talk about.
You practically rolled out the red carpet for Stellas' racist ass and then we had to come out, swinging hard, just begging for a safe space.

Don't fucking say that you are "listening and learning" or that you "need to do better." You seriously give zero fucks about the way POC are being treated. YOU HAVE TREATED POC the way we've complained about being treated. It took a fucking implosion on MMM and for it to be linked over here before anyone decided that gee, perhaps we are just as guilty. Guess what? It took a white woman to come in and say the SAME SHIT we'd been saying for years, before anyone listened. So I'm finding it quite rich that you jackasses are all, "OMG we really need to hold ourselves accountable." FUCK YOU. I don't need your "I'll do better's" or "I've seen the light's. We don't matter to you. We've never mattered to you. I saw what @tambcat posted and I also saw that not one of you simpleminded mother fuckers said a damn thing about it. Own your shit. You saw it and it didn't bother you.

Do you really think that all of a sudden you're enlightened? Do you really think that you haven't already passed on some of this fuckery to your children? Do better? Laugh out mother fucking loud at the fact that you can't even do RIGHT. Feel free to go back to your lily white board, posting about trivial shit. Just know that I see you basic ass bitches.

[charlielove]

I regret very much even continuing to participate on this board after knowing the hurt that it has caused the WOC here. The actions and silence are inexcusable. You guys do matter very much to me, and I know that it doesn't feel that way and we are beyond that point, and there is nothing I can say to repair that. I can't put into words everything I feel about what's gone on and what's currently happening. Thank you for expressing this here and I hope that the silence in this post isn't as deafening as it has been in other posts today and previously.

[skwcm80]

I need to gather my thoughts but for now I will say that I feel like a dumbass that I ever for one second thought that this board cared out the issues that affected POC. Vsalt was run because she rehomed a cat or some shit, a fucking cat!

What does it say about the board that the life of cat matters more than human beings. How hard is it to call out the use of that disgusting word, or any acts of racism that have happened in the last 5+ years?

Smdh! Enjoy your board.

[creamsiclechica]

There is nothing of adequacy, nothing tangible I could offer in the way of apology or gratitude that could ever be enough for you and skwcm80. The appreciation for the friendship that you both have shown me is very deep, and the sorrow at the ways I have failed you is even deeper. I regret all the things I could have done to stand beside you and in front of you and did not do.
Sorry can never be enough, but I remain apologetic anyway.

[laurensmomma]

We deserve your anger. We let you and other POC down.

[Faevantastic]

Everything you say is true. I truly feel like I care about you both but my (lack of) actions say otherwise. I am guilty and I hate myself for it.

[carawestt]

Everything you said is true and I am so sorry. I really care about both of you but I've obviously failed at showing it.

[laurack]

Yes, you are right and always have been. I feel sickened by our board and how we have failed you two because I care about you and miss you, but also how we have just sucked in general in this area.

I am ashamed and sorry. I know it doesn't matter and I don't blame you in the least. You and skwcm are classy ladies and you don't deserve any of this shit. I mean we keep saying we'll be better but then we aren't so why would you give us any of your time.

Anyway, cheap words. I'm really sorry for my silence but that's worth nothing and neither should it be. You rock ladies.

[imimahoney]

You are both completely right. There are no excuses to be made or empty words to say. The treatment of this board to you both, and woc in general, has been disgusting and a terrible shame.

[blane12]

I am so, so incredibly sorry. I know that means nothing to you, and I understand that. I was not around for the Stella's shit, but I have been around for other conversations. I am sorry that we weren't there for you when you wanted to talk. We have been really shitty choosing to talk about trivial issues other than ones that really matter. It was absolutely never my intention to hurt either of you, and I admire both you and skwcm80 greatly. I also know that it doesn't matter what my intent was...you were both hurt and I'm sorry will never be enough.

[steph196]

I'm sorry that we continue to fail you ladies. I know that apologizing means nothing anymore, since our board keeps screwing up, but I can't sit back and not say anything. You deserve better.

[nannerl]

I... I don't even know what to say. I'm so sorry we failed you again.

[katfco]

I've been trying to formulate a response, but there really are no words that can make this situation anywhere close to okay. I know even an apology just can't cut it, but it's all I've got.

[ktstorm]

You are completely right. I'm so sorry. I don't want to add to the silence and we deserve every single word that you wrote.

[ashleydl83]

I'm so sorry. I know that isn't enough, but I don't know what else that I could say. I doubt there is anything that can be said at this point to make it better. You are right and I am truly sorry.

[jsillyfun]

You are right. I am truly sorry from the bottom of my heart and so ashamed that we have failed you over and over again. I know it means nothing at this point and I am so sorry that it's all too little too late. You deserved so much better.

[The Foozzler]

I am not here much right now because September sucks the life out of me, but I saw this and didn't want to not acknowledge that I read it and I am sorry. I didn't read the other thread- I just read the article and commented to show I read it.

Like I said in one of the threads the other day, I didn't realize until my adult life that I was (and admittedly still am) part of the problem. I grew up in a very blue state and thought that being liberal meant that I was above that. But I learned from here that the complete opposite was true. I try to be better and read and learn. I don't want to continue to be part of the problem or raise my children the same way I was raised. But my learning should never come at someone else's expense. I'm sorry.

[tuck]

You're right. I'm disgusted with myself, and people in general. For being an ignorant asshole. For being indignant when confronted with being an ignorant asshole. For continuing to be an ignorant asshole after being confronted. You deserve so much better.

[browneyedhunni85]

Whoa. I've distanced myself from the board lately and this shit confirms why. I'm saddened to come on today and read that yet again we failed. I'm sorry ladies.

[rxbeth]

Wow. I'm sorry that it's the same shit on a different day.

There isn't much I can say. I've been more distant on the board due to time constraints but I have been following the MMM threads and doing some deep reflecting. Had I taken the time to read the post in question (I only read the OP quickly yesterday), I hope that I would have seen the word and reacted but I obviously can't say for certain.

[unclejesse]

I wish I had more to say, but I am sorry. You deserve better than what this board has given you.

[claralou]

There's nothing I - or any of us- can say. Everything left is just empty words. Not "fuck, I'm so sorry" (again). Not "I can't believe how much pain we've caused you" (again). Not "thank you a million times over for sitting here with us over the years, telling your stories, sharing your fears, investing in our lives, listening, educating, hand holding and fucking explaining repeatedly even though it hurt to do so." Not "we'll do better. We're listening and learning" (!!!) Not "I want to be a friend and ally" or even "I'm so grateful for your friendship and love you both dearly and you deserve so much better" (because, just, FUCK).

None of that means shit. Because any of that has to be followed with "we let the most ugly, hateful, vile, hurtful word imaginable sit on this page for TWO GODDAMN DAYS and it wasn't even one of our own 'enlightened' asses that pointed it out." Hell, I even posted half a (mobile) page below it and didn't even notice, which is colossally more disgusting than seeing it and simply being too spineless to call out another poster. (Feel free to call bullshit, but please don't flatter me. I'm apparently capable of breezing right past appallingly racist hate speech and not even registering it. I'll spare you the whiny privilege porn and skip to "I'm a straight up asshole". At this point, "silently complicit coward" would be a undeserved gift).

skwcm80 and EnchantedSoul I presented myself as a true friend and I've shown you otherwise. We all have. I'm so, so sorry. Fuck me. FUCK US ALL.

[sandj82110]

I keep typing and deleting, I stay away (from posting) or say very little in these threads because I'm afraid to say the wrong thing and hurt someone when they're already hurting. I do see that this, in itself, is part of the problem.

I know it sounds hollow but I truly have been reading and reflecting on how I'm to blame in all of this too. I've totally taken my privileges for granted here and never truly understood how simple things I take for granted are a problem for so many.

I know apologies and words are all empty sounding but I am truly sorry.

[shevacc]

I'm sorry I and we collectively have screwed up. Again.

[bebeetmoi]

Sept 15, 2016 22:21:59 GMT -5 sandj82110 said:

I keep typing and deleting, I stay away (from posting) or say very little in these threads because I'm afraid to say the wrong thing and hurt someone when they're already hurting. I do see that this, in itself, is part of the problem.

[
This is exactly where I'm at. I don't want to further offend anyone with a seemingly empty apology (but it truly wouldn't be empty because I'm truly appalled and ashamed and remorseful for how this whole situation has been handled), but I also don't want to be silent and let you think I haven't seen this, or worse yet, am chosing to ignore it.

[bean47]

Sept 15, 2016 22:21:59 GMT -5 sandj82110 said:

I keep typing and deleting, I stay away (from posting) or say very little in these threads because I'm afraid to say the wrong thing and hurt someone when they're already hurting. I do see that this, in itself, is part of the problem.

This is true for me too but I refrain from posting even that because I recognize it isn't about me and how I feel. I do get that is a problem. I feel awful that people on our board have been so hurt and that it keeps happening.

[artgal84]

I'm so sorry, truly.

[breezy8407]

I am truly sorry. I didn't see what she posted until this morning I have been buried at work. It doesn't matter though. It doesn't matter what I say, but I don't want to be silent.

[eav2c]

I have been silent when I shouldn't and I know no words will make that better. I'm sorry this is a reality, your reality, and that we made a safe place not safe and didn't stand up when we should have. I sincerely have always admired and looked up to you and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

[thedahliharpa]

It's become way too dysfunctional. The irony of "safe spaces." This isn't safe and it's not healthy or sustainable.
skwcm80 and EnchantedSoul, I'm sorry.

This isn't going to change and I don't want to be a part of perpetuating any of it.