Friday @@

[MrsAxilla]

I'm so frustrated with my kid right now, and I feel bad because I shouldn't be, but he works himself up into a full blown panic attack every time we go to the dentist.  It's a fucking nightmare.  He has two baby teeth that refuse to come out and is screwing with his alignment.  The dentist couldn't even touch him before he'd freak out.  We were there for forty five minutes and NOTHING was done!  Nothing!  I got up at six am for that shit.  The dentist said my options are to strap him to a fucking board, or PUT HIM UNDER GENERAL ANESTHESIA!  Really?!?  Come on, dude, you're NINE!  Fucking deal!  And THEN you know what that fucking kid did?  HE GOT ONE OUT ON THE WAY TO SCHOOL!  And bled all over the seat of my brand new car.  Omg I wanted to kill him this morning.

[marriedfilingjoint]

Sept 16, 2016 9:59:39 GMT -5 MrsAxilla said:

I'm so frustrated with my kid right now, and I feel bad because I shouldn't be, but he works himself up into a full blown panic attack every time we go to the dentist.  It's a fucking nightmare.  He has two baby teeth that refuse to come out and is screwing with his alignment.  The dentist couldn't even touch him before he'd freak out.  We were there for forty five minutes and NOTHING was done!  Nothing!  I got up at six am for that shit.  The dentist said my options are to strap him to a fucking board, or PUT HIM UNDER GENERAL ANESTHESIA!  Really?!?  Come on, dude, you're NINE!  Fucking deal!  And THEN you know what that fucking kid did?  HE GOT ONE OUT ON THE WAY TO SCHOOL!  And bled all over the seat of my brand new car.  Omg I wanted to kill him this morning.

Oh no! Are there other pediatric dentists in town?

[NitaX]

This is not directly related to my kids. Instead, it's related to my annoying ass co-worker, but it has a kid component. Anywho, as parents, I'm going to IMPLORE you to teach your children how to think critically. I work with someone who seriously cannot think for herself. She will ask me 50 questions because she has no skills to do the following:

1. Process internally 
2. Problem Solve 
3. Research an Issue 

In each case, she picks up the phone to call me and ask me basic ass shit. So, my only thought here is that as a child and/or student she was never allowed to do this on her own. Y'all. It drives me to drink and so, I want to help you help your child.

Please allow them to work out problems on their own. Do not solve it for them. Please encourage these skills.

Signed -
Their Future Co-Workers

[marriedfilingjoint]

My daughter is calling her friends her "girl team". She's 5. Last night she told me the girl team broke up but they got back together. They were pretending to be animals and two of them wanted to be cats. I KNOW. Terrible.

[Michelle]

Sept 16, 2016 10:05:56 GMT -5 NitaX said:

This not directly related to my kids. Instead, it's related to my annoying ass co-worker, but it has a kid component. Anywho, as parents, I'm going to IMPLORE you to teach your children how to think critically. I work with someone who seriously cannot think for herself. She will ask me 50 questions because she has no skills to do the following:

1. Process internally 
2. Problem Solve 
3. Research an Issue 

In each case, she picks up the phone to call me and ask me basic ass shit. So, my only thought here is that as a child and/or student she was never allowed to do this on her own. Y'all. It drives me to drink and so, I want to help you help your child.

Please allow them to work out problems on their own. Do not solve it for them. Please encourage these skills.

Signed -
Their Future Co-Workers

There is no such thing as stupid questions. Just stupid people.

[Michelle]

Sept 16, 2016 10:06:57 GMT -5 marriedfilingjoint said:

My daughter is calling her friends her "girl team". She's 5. Last night she told me the girl team broke up but they got back together. They were pretending to be animals and two of them wanted to be cats. I KNOW. Terrible.

I saw more mean girl behavior among my daughter's girl friends at ages four through six than I do now at nine, if that gives you any hope.

[penguingrrl]

Sept 16, 2016 9:59:39 GMT -5 MrsAxilla said:

I'm so frustrated with my kid right now, and I feel bad because I shouldn't be, but he works himself up into a full blown panic attack every time we go to the dentist.  It's a fucking nightmare.  He has two baby teeth that refuse to come out and is screwing with his alignment.  The dentist couldn't even touch him before he'd freak out.  We were there for forty five minutes and NOTHING was done!  Nothing!  I got up at six am for that shit.  The dentist said my options are to strap him to a fucking board, or PUT HIM UNDER GENERAL ANESTHESIA!  Really?!?  Come on, dude, you're NINE!  Fucking deal!  And THEN you know what that fucking kid did?  HE GOT ONE OUT ON THE WAY TO SCHOOL!  And bled all over the seat of my brand new car.  Omg I wanted to kill him this morning.

Ugh, that's awful! A lot of people are truly terrified of dental work. Sometimes it's easily overcome, sometimes it isn't. Do you use a pediatric dentist or a general one? If you don't use a pediatric one I might switch and see if that helps.

[NitaX]

Sept 16, 2016 10:08:35 GMT -5 Michelle said:

Sept 16, 2016 10:05:56 GMT -5 NitaX said:

This not directly related to my kids. Instead, it's related to my annoying ass co-worker, but it has a kid component. Anywho, as parents, I'm going to IMPLORE you to teach your children how to think critically. I work with someone who seriously cannot think for herself. She will ask me 50 questions because she has no skills to do the following:

1. Process internally 
2. Problem Solve 
3. Research an Issue 

In each case, she picks up the phone to call me and ask me basic ass shit. So, my only thought here is that as a child and/or student she was never allowed to do this on her own. Y'all. It drives me to drink and so, I want to help you help your child.

Please allow them to work out problems on their own. Do not solve it for them. Please encourage these skills.

Signed -
Their Future Co-Workers

There is no such thing as stupid questions. Just stupid people.

I'm telling you. My nerves are shot. I've honestly stopped answering her questions to force her to find the answer on her own. I swear fo' GAWD it's like talking to a 4 yr old. 

Yesterday I was hella busy and told her to cross check an item. This morning, I get in the office and she's like a kid squealing in glee because she found the answer. 

[MrsAxilla]

Sept 16, 2016 10:05:20 GMT -5 marriedfilingjoint said:

Sept 16, 2016 9:59:39 GMT -5 MrsAxilla said:

I'm so frustrated with my kid right now, and I feel bad because I shouldn't be, but he works himself up into a full blown panic attack every time we go to the dentist.  It's a fucking nightmare.  He has two baby teeth that refuse to come out and is screwing with his alignment.  The dentist couldn't even touch him before he'd freak out.  We were there for forty five minutes and NOTHING was done!  Nothing!  I got up at six am for that shit.  The dentist said my options are to strap him to a fucking board, or PUT HIM UNDER GENERAL ANESTHESIA!  Really?!?  Come on, dude, you're NINE!  Fucking deal!  And THEN you know what that fucking kid did?  HE GOT ONE OUT ON THE WAY TO SCHOOL!  And bled all over the seat of my brand new car.  Omg I wanted to kill him this morning.

Oh no! Are there other pediatric dentists in town?

It's not the dentist; it's the kid.  Obviously he has some anxiety issues here.  The dentist uses nitrous, but he gets so anxious that even putting the mask on causes a melt down.  I opted to skip that this morning because I know exactly how that will go and I'm not paying EXTRA to suffer rough the same thing regardless.  I swear, I think the dentist called out sick for Ben's last appointment.  

[Deleted]

Sept 16, 2016 10:05:56 GMT -5 NitaX said:

This is not directly related to my kids. Instead, it's related to my annoying ass co-worker, but it has a kid component. Anywho, as parents, I'm going to IMPLORE you to teach your children how to think critically. I work with someone who seriously cannot think for herself. She will ask me 50 questions because she has no skills to do the following:

1. Process internally 
2. Problem Solve 
3. Research an Issue 

In each case, she picks up the phone to call me and ask me basic ass shit. So, my only thought here is that as a child and/or student she was never allowed to do this on her own. Y'all. It drives me to drink and so, I want to help you help your child.

Please allow them to work out problems on their own. Do not solve it for them. Please encourage these skills.

Signed -
Their Future Co-Workers

Sometimes I think being a latchkey kid of a single mom was one of the single best things that could have happened to me in developing self-sufficiency.

Ingenuity was often preceded by a statement like, "Shit! We made a mess. We are going to be in so much trouble if we don't figure out how to clean this up before mom gets home!"

[isabel]

What about those sedation dentists that do the laughing gas or something? It seems extreme to me that general anesthesia is the only option for calming him down. Surely there are other steps to try first? I might talk to another pediatric dentist.

Eta: oh, I just read your follow-up about the nitrous. I'm sorry.

[downtoearth]

Sept 16, 2016 10:06:57 GMT -5 marriedfilingjoint said:

My daughter is calling her friends her "girl team". She's 5. Last night she told me the girl team broke up but they got back together. They were pretending to be animals and two of them wanted to be cats. I KNOW. Terrible.

What, you guys don't call your CEP friends your "girl team"?!

E.g. "Hey crazy coworker, I sourced this idea with my Girl Team, and we decided you are in the wrong.  If you would like to appeal our decision, please email my your arguments and I'll share with the Girl Team for determination." said Downtoearth to coworker.  

[MrsAxilla]

Sept 16, 2016 10:11:20 GMT -5 penguingrrl said:

Sept 16, 2016 9:59:39 GMT -5 MrsAxilla said:

I'm so frustrated with my kid right now, and I feel bad because I shouldn't be, but he works himself up into a full blown panic attack every time we go to the dentist.  It's a fucking nightmare.  He has two baby teeth that refuse to come out and is screwing with his alignment.  The dentist couldn't even touch him before he'd freak out.  We were there for forty five minutes and NOTHING was done!  Nothing!  I got up at six am for that shit.  The dentist said my options are to strap him to a fucking board, or PUT HIM UNDER GENERAL ANESTHESIA!  Really?!?  Come on, dude, you're NINE!  Fucking deal!  And THEN you know what that fucking kid did?  HE GOT ONE OUT ON THE WAY TO SCHOOL!  And bled all over the seat of my brand new car.  Omg I wanted to kill him this morning.

Ugh, that's awful! A lot of people are truly terrified of dental work. Sometimes it's easily overcome, sometimes it isn't. Do you use a pediatric dentist or a general one? If you don't use a pediatric one I might switch and see if that helps.

He's a pediatric dentist, and he really is great.  Today's appointment was sort of optional, but I'd rather pull baby teeth than try to get braces on that kid.  

[marriedfilingjoint]

Sept 16, 2016 10:09:47 GMT -5 Michelle said:

Sept 16, 2016 10:06:57 GMT -5 marriedfilingjoint said:

My daughter is calling her friends her "girl team". She's 5. Last night she told me the girl team broke up but they got back together. They were pretending to be animals and two of them wanted to be cats. I KNOW. Terrible.

I saw more mean girl behavior among my daughter's girl friends at ages four through six than I do now at nine, if that gives you any hope.

It does! So is this something I need to shut down now or is this something that is ok to ride out and let her grow out of? Her teacher says she goes out of her way to be inclusive to everyone so "girl team" isn't a "you're in, you're out" thing evidently. I think it's a "girl vs boy" thing. It might be worth a reminder, though.

[penguingrrl]

Sept 16, 2016 10:15:44 GMT -5 MrsAxilla said:

Sept 16, 2016 10:11:20 GMT -5 penguingrrl said:

Ugh, that's awful! A lot of people are truly terrified of dental work. Sometimes it's easily overcome, sometimes it isn't. Do you use a pediatric dentist or a general one? If you don't use a pediatric one I might switch and see if that helps.

He's a pediatric dentist, and he really is great.  Today's appointment was sort of optional, but I'd rather pull baby teeth than try to get braces on that kid.  

Gotcha. That really sucks. I'm sorry! I used to work for a dentist, a lot of people have intense fear. It's not easy to overcome, at 9 or as an adult.

[CallingAllAngels]

My 6 year old daughter has slept through the night for the past 5 nights. I am so excited I could cry. Her sleep has always been crap, but it has been especially terrible for the past year. Six months ago she was diagnosed with an autoimmune disorder (ITP) that causes low platelet levels, and I believe this has affected her anxiety, attention and sleep cycles. These are areas she really struggles, and we have seen a big improvement in the past few weeks. ITP often resolves on its own, so maybe this is it for her. She goes back to the hematologist next week, and I'm trying to be hopeful that her platelet levels are up without getting my hopes up.

[MrsAxilla]

Sept 16, 2016 10:13:49 GMT -5 isabel said:

What about those sedation dentists that do the laughing gas or something? It seems extreme to me that general anesthesia is the only option for calming him down. Surely there are other steps to try first? I might talk to another pediatric dentist.

Eta: oh, I just read your follow-up about the nitrous. I'm sorry.

Hey your ETA showed up when I hit quote.  That's neat!  Yeah, the mask pokes him, the flavors make him gag, the lights hurt his eyes, he is absolutely COMPELLED to speak and freaks out if he can't....  I seriously think my best option would be to get his pedi to prescribe Xanax or something.  I've considered that before, but after today I think I'll call her.

[marriedfilingjoint]

Sept 16, 2016 10:15:31 GMT -5 downtoearth said:

Sept 16, 2016 10:06:57 GMT -5 marriedfilingjoint said:

My daughter is calling her friends her "girl team". She's 5. Last night she told me the girl team broke up but they got back together. They were pretending to be animals and two of them wanted to be cats. I KNOW. Terrible.

What, you guys don't call your CEP friends your "girl team"?!

E.g. "Hey crazy coworker, I sourced this idea with my Girl Team, and we decided you are in the wrong.  If you would like to appeal our decision, please email my your arguments and I'll share with the Girl Team for determination." said Downtoearth to coworker.  

I always forget she learns all this from me until my dad smugly points it out.

[MrsAxilla]

Sept 16, 2016 10:05:56 GMT -5 NitaX said:

This is not directly related to my kids. Instead, it's related to my annoying ass co-worker, but it has a kid component. Anywho, as parents, I'm going to IMPLORE you to teach your children how to think critically. I work with someone who seriously cannot think for herself. She will ask me 50 questions because she has no skills to do the following:

1. Process internally 
2. Problem Solve 
3. Research an Issue 

In each case, she picks up the phone to call me and ask me basic ass shit. So, my only thought here is that as a child and/or student she was never allowed to do this on her own. Y'all. It drives me to drink and so, I want to help you help your child.

Please allow them to work out problems on their own. Do not solve it for them. Please encourage these skills.

Signed -
Their Future Co-Workers

You know, I'm finding this harder to do than I thought.  Man, I hate venting so much about Ben today, but sometimes that kid has no sense.  For example, yesterday he lost the $40 check I sent to school for his fundraiser.  It was in one of those oversized envelopes and it "must have fallen out of his backpack".  How?  Well, his backpack wouldn't zip closed because it was too full, so OBVIOUSLY the only thing to do here is leave it hanging open!  On a hook crowded next to twenty other kids' bags and coats and such.   Did I mention he's nine?  AND attends a gifted and talented school??  I'm just....I'm at a loss with him sometimes.  

[OscarQ]

DH bought DS1 (5) frogs that life in this tank over my objections. ^o) Whatever, fine.

They've been dying. We think one of the frogs is bullying the others to death. I asked DS1 how he wanted us to handle a hypothetical dead frog scenario - did he want me to tell him the frog died or should we replace the frog without telling him. He said, replace the frog, don't tell me it died. So H has been doing that for awhile. It got ridiculous so he stopped and told DS1 that he gave the most recent two dead frogs away.  

Cue freak out which I had to handle - while I was trying to work - and had told H I was slammed last night and really needed to get caught up.  Sure, tell him this made up load of crap and then leave me to deal with the shitshow.

After awhile of this freakout and pleading to get the frogs back I decide to level with the kid (I have an honesty is the best policy approach with some caveats) and tell him the truth.  Cue second freakout - but this one he eventually calms down from and gets it and is sad and hurt but understands.  He even calmly explained to DS2 (3) what happened to the frogs.

[penguingrrl]

Sept 16, 2016 10:30:12 GMT -5 MrsAxilla said:

Sept 16, 2016 10:05:56 GMT -5 NitaX said:

This is not directly related to my kids. Instead, it's related to my annoying ass co-worker, but it has a kid component. Anywho, as parents, I'm going to IMPLORE you to teach your children how to think critically. I work with someone who seriously cannot think for herself. She will ask me 50 questions because she has no skills to do the following:

1. Process internally 
2. Problem Solve 
3. Research an Issue 

In each case, she picks up the phone to call me and ask me basic ass shit. So, my only thought here is that as a child and/or student she was never allowed to do this on her own. Y'all. It drives me to drink and so, I want to help you help your child.

Please allow them to work out problems on their own. Do not solve it for them. Please encourage these skills.

Signed -
Their Future Co-Workers

You know, I'm finding this harder to do than I thought.  Man, I hate venting so much about Ben today, but sometimes that kid has no sense.  For example, yesterday he lost the $40 check I sent to school for his fundraiser.  It was in one of those oversized envelopes and it "must have fallen out of his backpack".  How?  Well, his backpack wouldn't zip closed because it was too full, so OBVIOUSLY the only thing to do here is leave it hanging open!  On a hook crowded next to twenty other kids' bags and coats and such.   Did I mention he's nine?  AND attends a gifted and talented school??  I'm just....I'm at a loss with him sometimes.  

The smarter they are....

No, seriously. My husband has an Ivy League engineering PhD and can barely tie his shoes. I'm convinced all his energy is used being smart and there's nothing left for common sense.

[eponinepontmercy]

So the sticker chart thing in the morning worked again today. BUT...last night, I asked DH to get her ready for bed. His method is to tell her to get her pajamas and come in the living room so he can keep texting/ running fantasy teams. She took 3 tries to find pjs that fit (which wouldn't have happened if he had just gone in her room to help), then was arguing about going to the bathroom. All of a sudden I hear him say that she wouldn't get a sticker if she didn't get ready for bed.

I hear her say that it's only for the morning (which I had just reiterated to her). He ARGUES with her, comes back to the living room and I tell him that she's right. We set the parameters and it's not fair to change them. Just like every time he does something stupid, he gets all huffy and says that he can't do anything right and that he's an awful father. No, you are inconsistent and change the rules midgame, but we're both still figuring this stuff out.

I love the man, but it's exhausting. If he would just get up and go back to her room and the bathroom, she's fine. He did the same thing after I begged him to get out of bed 10 minutes earlier and help her get dressed. He told her to get dressed, then wandered around doing god knows what while she whined and dawdled. She really just wants company. When I realized that was the extent of his help in the morning, I printed out the sticker chart.

[eponinepontmercy]

Sept 16, 2016 10:45:02 GMT -5 penguingrrl said:

Sept 16, 2016 10:30:12 GMT -5 MrsAxilla said:

You know, I'm finding this harder to do than I thought.  Man, I hate venting so much about Ben today, but sometimes that kid has no sense.  For example, yesterday he lost the $40 check I sent to school for his fundraiser.  It was in one of those oversized envelopes and it "must have fallen out of his backpack".  How?  Well, his backpack wouldn't zip closed because it was too full, so OBVIOUSLY the only thing to do here is leave it hanging open!  On a hook crowded next to twenty other kids' bags and coats and such.   Did I mention he's nine?  AND attends a gifted and talented school??  I'm just....I'm at a loss with him sometimes.  

The smarter they are....

No, seriously. My husband has an Ivy League engineering PhD and can barely tie his shoes. I'm convinced all his energy is used being smart and there's nothing left for common sense.

My mother called my best friend growing up and me "the dumbest smart people she knew."  

[MrsAxilla]

Sept 16, 2016 10:45:02 GMT -5 penguingrrl said:

Sept 16, 2016 10:30:12 GMT -5 MrsAxilla said:

You know, I'm finding this harder to do than I thought.  Man, I hate venting so much about Ben today, but sometimes that kid has no sense.  For example, yesterday he lost the $40 check I sent to school for his fundraiser.  It was in one of those oversized envelopes and it "must have fallen out of his backpack".  How?  Well, his backpack wouldn't zip closed because it was too full, so OBVIOUSLY the only thing to do here is leave it hanging open!  On a hook crowded next to twenty other kids' bags and coats and such.   Did I mention he's nine?  AND attends a gifted and talented school??  I'm just....I'm at a loss with him sometimes.  

The smarter they are....

No, seriously. My husband has an Ivy League engineering PhD and can barely tie his shoes. I'm convinced all his energy is used being smart and there's nothing left for common sense.

No, you're right.  That's pretty much what the GT school said.  They have counsellors who help these kids deal with life.  They score off the charts, but one girl melts down everyday because she can't handle transitions.  It was both frightening and reassuring to see his classmates at the open house.  

[penguingrrl]

Sept 16, 2016 10:53:11 GMT -5 MrsAxilla said:

Sept 16, 2016 10:45:02 GMT -5 penguingrrl said:

The smarter they are....

No, seriously. My husband has an Ivy League engineering PhD and can barely tie his shoes. I'm convinced all his energy is used being smart and there's nothing left for common sense.

No, you're right.  That's pretty much what the GT school said.  They have counsellors who help these kids deal with life.  They score off the charts, but one girl melts down everyday because she can't handle transitions.  It was both frightening and reassuring to see his classmates at the open house.  

That makes so much sense lol! My middle one seems to have those issues and is also very smart. My oldest is bright but average bright and handles life so much better lol!

[MrsAxilla]

I once found poop smeared on a hand towel. How in the ever loving fuck does that happen? He wiped his ass with toilet paper, "washed" his hands, dried them off AND MISSED THAT HE HAD POOP ON HIS HAND!!! Omg.

[andreay82]

My DS (4 years old), wanted to know when I was going to wear my "new pins" (my HRC button pack that was sitting on the dining room table). I asked him if he wanted to wear one today. He is wearing the "Hillary Hillary Hillary" one pinned to his hoodie as his show and tell. He was so proud!

[StrawberryBlondie]

My kid this morning decided I needed to wear a different outfit, went into my closet, and got it the shirt she wanted me to wear. Then laid it out on my bed and said "I help you mommy."

[rootbeerfloat]

Commiseration, MrsAxilla. DS is a terrible dental patient, which is related to his anxiety. I used to sit in the chair with him, but it finally hit the point where we didn't fit... like around age 7 or 8 lol. I knock on wood that he hasn't need any work done yet.

[redheadk]

Sept 16, 2016 10:05:56 GMT -5 NitaX said:

This is not directly related to my kids. Instead, it's related to my annoying ass co-worker, but it has a kid component. Anywho, as parents, I'm going to IMPLORE you to teach your children how to think critically. I work with someone who seriously cannot think for herself. She will ask me 50 questions because she has no skills to do the following:

1. Process internally 
2. Problem Solve 
3. Research an Issue 

In each case, she picks up the phone to call me and ask me basic ass shit. So, my only thought here is that as a child and/or student she was never allowed to do this on her own. Y'all. It drives me to drink and so, I want to help you help your child.

Please allow them to work out problems on their own. Do not solve it for them. Please encourage these skills.

Signed -
Their Future Co-Workers

When I was teaching and people asked what I taught, my answer was always the same: common sense.
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