Silly TTC Vent

[honey987]

So DH and I agreed to start TTC when my bc runs out in Dec. Maybe not right away, but just kind of whatever happens, happens. Part of me feels like my clock is ticking. I'm about to be 28 (i know im still young), we want to have a few kids and I am super close with my grandparents who are in their 80's and I want them to be able to see my children.

One thing I would like to do is take a tropical trip, just DH and I since we truly haven't done more than a weekend trip alone since we got married. We have taken plenty of trips since then, just not alone.

Well since we have decided all this, 4 of our very close friends have gotten engaged and have weddings next year. And my BFF is thinking her bf is going to propose soon. The vent is about DH's cousin though. They just announced they will be getting married in Nov in the Caribbean. I am so bummed because I will hopefully be pretty pregnant by then and I really really want to go to their wedding. I love them and we live in FL, so a trip to the Caribbean would be easy for us.

Now, I'm all bummed about getting pregnant because im worried that if I get pregnant right away, I won't be able to fly to their wedding and DH will be able to and I'll be super pregnant, emotional and sitting at home alone. I'm pretty sure DH wouldnt go without me if I was that far along, but then I feel bad because it's his cousin.

I guess I'm just super bummed because I love his cousin and his FI and really want to be able to go to their wedding. I do however think it would be super sucky to go to an all inclusive and not be able to drink.

I know I should be planning our TTC around other people, but I just hate missing out on important events, but I know now is the right time for us and its silly to not try in hopes of going to a tropical wedding.

Ok vent over, I feel better...

[AAM2012]

Lol @ trying to plan your pregnancy! We tried that and 9 months later I am still not pregnant. I wouldn't make or change plans because you MAY be pregnant.

[honey987]

Sept 8, 2012 5:00:29 GMT -5 AAM2012 said:

Lol @ trying to plan your pregnancy! We tried that and 9 months later I am still not pregnant. I wouldn't make or change plans because you MAY be pregnant.

Lol I know, DH thinks it will happen right away, I am less optimistic and want to plan for it taking a least a year, which is why I don't want to wait right away. I know this isn't something we can plan, but we can plan when we start TTC and a tiny part of me wants to wait til after all the weddings, but then if it takes us forever to get pregnant, I know I will regret it.

[honey987]

Sept 8, 2012 5:10:35 GMT -5 @kimbus22 said:

I agree with PP. It took me 11 months to get pregnant. I couldn't plan anything.

I know it seems like it'd suck to miss a wedding or something. But honestly, if you're pregnant with your first kid then, you'll be so wrapped up in being pregnant I really don't think you'll care.

Do take the trip alone with your husband before TTC though. That was the best thing we did

I guess that is the thing too, if we do the trip just DH and I we likely wont be able to go to the wedding anyways even if we aren't pregnant by that time. BC if we aren't we will fly to our hometowns for the holidays and DH and I won't be able to take that much time off work.

I know I'm totally being silly, but I'm such a planner and hate missing out lol.

[chessie]

No pity parties. Figure out when is a good time to start TTC and just go with it, no stress, dont stress yourself about this. It will make it worse. Why not schedule some trips in the spring at least, even if you got pregnant right away you could still go and DH could always stay home from those weddings with you. When you have kids you sacrifice stuff and if you have a baby at that point, who knows your schedules at that time. Screw everyones else's plan. I am 29, married for 6 years, it might never happen for us, but I don't stress about it, we are still young. Unless your 39, I would chill.

[Pilsy]

Hey, she said it was silly! I think she knows. Right, Honey?

I hope that, with time, your mind will calm just a little and you'll be able to enjoy some of this exciting stuff without so much static. Good luck!

[hannamaren]

You will be able to go to a lot of the weddings even if you are pregnant. Maybe you will miss the November one but if it takes more than 4 cycles to get pregnant, you will make it.
Since you didnt say you are going to chart, temp, OPKs, etc I think the normal chance of getting pregnant is 1 in 4. (maybe less)

[dancingirl21]

It definitely is possible to get pregnant on the first cycle off bcp. I did. Sounds like there will be lots of weddings next year that you can attend, but I understand not wanting to miss this one. Good luck with whatever you decide.

[honey987]

Sept 8, 2012 6:46:06 GMT -5 Pilsy said:

Hey, she said it was silly! I think she knows. Right, Honey?

I hope that, with time, your mind will calm just a little and you'll be able to enjoy some of this exciting stuff without so much static. Good luck!

Yes, I know I am being ridiculous to even worry about this. I tend to stress out over every little think and even just writing it down for internet strangers makes me feel better This post does make me feel much better about TTC sooner than later though. DH is convinced we are going to get pregnant right away bc a few of our friends have and we eat healthy and don't have any medical issues. He also thinks that I won't get stretch marks and that our baby will be perfect most of the time. He's crazy. I'm totally fine with just having sex without any protection for a few months after I'm off bc and then getting serious around June if nothing has happened.

[karinothing]

EH, I will be the voice of dissent. We almost delayed TTC by 2 months re: a friend's wedding. MM always says don't worry about it because it could take forever. Well, I got pregnant the first time and I couldn't go to the wedding. IF you want to be sure to go to the wedding I don't think there is anything wrong with delaying for a few months. If you get pregnant right away well then you know you can still go and if you don't, well you certainly didn't ruin your chances by waiting a few months.

[Deleted]

Sept 8, 2012 7:48:59 GMT -5 karinothing said:

EH, I will be the voice of dissent. We almost delayed TTC by 2 months re: a friend's wedding. MM always says don't worry about it because it could take forever. Well, I got pregnant the first time and I couldn't go to the wedding. IF you want to be sure to go to the wedding I don't think there is anything wrong with delaying for a few months. If you get pregnant right away well then you know you can still go and if you don't, well you certainly didn't ruin your chances by waiting a few months.

That's what I was thinking. Delaying by 3-4 months isn't even a blip in the radar overall. Even if it ends up taking a year in the end. And even though most of us took a number of cycles, many women get pregnant the first cycle.

It depends how important it is for you to be there. For me, it likely wouldn't change my TTC plans.

[winemaker06]

To add another point of view, my doctor told me not to get pregnant within 2 cycles of stopping BCP. So keep that in mind, and maybe talk to your doctor as well before planning too closely!
However it works out, in a few years, these weddings won't seem as important. So just do what's best for you guys when the time comes.

[honey987]

Sept 8, 2012 8:03:01 GMT -5 winemaker06 said:

To add another point of view, my doctor told me not to get pregnant within 2 cycles of stopping BCP. So keep that in mind, and maybe talk to your doctor as well before planning too closely!
However it works out, in a few years, these weddings won't seem as important. So just do what's best for you guys when the time comes.

My doctor said 1 cycle, but I think with that being around Christmas and all and we are traveling a lot, we will probably wait until around Feb/ Marchish. Ill be off bc the beginning of Dec.

[vanillacourage]

So go off BC now. You'd be due in June or July if you got pregnant the first cycle.

But in reality, your clock is not ticking at 28. This will all work out.

[Deleted]

I think about these things too, OP. We are thinking about TTC next May (I want to teach for a year before getting PG). BIL and his fiancee are getting married next July. If I got PG right away (which is a big if), I would just find out before the wedding. I like my wine, and I am afraid that H's whole family would be on to me if they see me not drinking!

Then I realize I'm being ridiculous and move on.

But I agree with kari that it's NBD to delay TTC by a few months if you really want to go to the wedding. Would you be ok with going earlier in a potential pregnancy?

[Kore]

Sept 8, 2012 8:19:48 GMT -5 vanillacourage said:

So go off BC now. You'd be due in June or July if you got pregnant the first cycle.

But in reality, your clock is not ticking at 28. This will all work out.

This was my thought. What's starting 2 months early?

[honey987]

Sept 8, 2012 9:55:40 GMT -5 Kore said:

Sept 8, 2012 8:19:48 GMT -5 vanillacourage said:

So go off BC now. You'd be due in June or July if you got pregnant the first cycle.

But in reality, your clock is not ticking at 28. This will all work out.

This was my thought. What's starting 2 months early?

I guess the main reason I don't want to start yet is that my work will be insane the next few months and I don't want to add any stress to that, plus we have 2 weddings and a week getaway with friends that I would like to be able to drink for. Plus I paid for my next 2 bc (nuva ring) and I don't want to just waste it.

I know there won't ever be the perfect time and I very well might not be pregnant by Nov or as DH pointed out, they could change their date/location and we might not be able to go anyways. They live in Cal and if they have it there, his family from the east coast likely won't go and if we go it would be just a weekend trip not a week vacation like we are thinking now. Or there might be a hurricane. Who knows.

I do know that I don't want to rush it and get pregnant right away so we can go to their wedding. They are awesome, but I dont want to put that kind of pressure on us or myself. Even if we were to get pregnant right away and give birth in june/july I'm not sure I'd be as excited about getting into a swim suit in front of everyone then.

It was just a silly vent, we aren't going to let anything else dictate us or stop us from trying when we want to. We are leaning towards waiting longer than sooner, but well see. Thanks for all the advice