I'm not trying to be a Debbie Downer because I know there are several people here who are newly widowed or have been in the past couple years. For those of you who have gone through this, I share in your grief.
Honestly, it's only within the past 3 years I've started to feel like my "old normal" self. But I've learned a few things in these past nine years:
Having experienced what a REALLY bad day is, I have learned to put the other days where I'm mostly just tired, irritated, bored, etc. into perspective. They are not really "bad" days--more like "uncomfortable", and those uncomfortable feelings are usually gone by the following morning. And while financial and health concerns are important, acceptance and taking action is the key to dealing with them.
I've learned that love and support from family and IRL friends is important. Allow them to help you. When they ask "what can I do?" GIVE THEM SOMETHING TO DO. And don't allow yourself to be alone when there are those who want to sit with you or even just be in a different part of the house. The important thing is that THEY ARE THERE.
I've learned that the kindness and support of internet friends (that you may have never met face-to-face) is immeasurable. I can't begin to tell you how many Nesties called me, sent me flowers, sent e-mails, and sent cards expressing their sympathy and love. Many of them were somehow able to get my address, which I deeply appreciate their efforts to do so. It's safe to say that the TN'ers help me more on the day-to-day grief than my sons and out-of-state family. Not only with their kind words, but just reading posts about their day-to-day lives got me "out of my head" and and lessened my pain for just a little bit.
I've learned that life is fleeting and can have unexpected outcomes. I live one day at a time as if it was my last. I've also learned that it's best to get my affairs in order in advance so my children won't have to go through what I did. I have a living will and my gravesite/headstone (as well as DH's) picked out and paid for.
Most of all I learned that "this too shall pass".
Thank you to all of you who were on-line the early morning (Alaska time lol) on that awful day of 10/06/07. And thank you to all of you who have been so supportive all these years. I love you. And I mean that sincerely.
"Why would you ruin perfectly good peanuts by adding candy corn? That's like saying hey, I have these awesome nachos, guess I better add some dryer lint." - Nonny
share.memebox.com/x/uKhKaZmemebox referal code for 20% off! DD1 "J" born 3/2003 DD2 "G" born 4/2011 DS is here! "H" born 2/2014 m/c#3 1-13-13 @ 9 weeks m/c#2 11-11-12 @ 5w2d I am an extended breastfeeding, cloth diapering, baby wearing, pro marriage equality, birth control lovin', Catholic mama.
"He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart. You owe it to him to be worthy of such devotion." - Unknown
I liked your post...then realized I was the only one, so maybe that is weird. I'm sorry for the pain that you experienced. Thank you for your thoughtful and touching post.