Please give me a pep talk

[turtle1120]

I don't post very often about the on-going custody battle with my Ex, but it's just sucking the life out of me right now. This has been going on for over a year and a half. We've been close to going to trial twice, only to have it delayed due to Ex's b.s. We're now in "settlement" talks but every time I turn around he makes a demand that's more outrageous than his last (asking for overnight visitation three weekends a month, leaving me with one weekend with DD, plus asking for extra visitation days on my one weekend). Basically asking for stuff that I'll never agree to.

I just want to have a trial already and get this over with. I need a resolution. I can't keep living my life in limbo.

Did anyone else have a long, drawn-out battle? If so, how did you not go insane during the process?

[Deleted]

Turtle, I'm really sorry to hear this. I don't have kids so I can't really say anything specifically but just wanted to send big hugs!

[stephbfan]

I'm sorry Turtle!
My custody battle lasted almost 1.5 years too and I was a mess during that time so I really don't have much advice on how not to go insane.

I tried settling with him but he shut down everything I proposed. We went to court and he/his lawyer realized that thing were not going that well and then opened up to negotiation. He ended up getting way less than I was initially offering so we definitely could have saved more than $10K in attorney's fees.

Do you go to counselling? I think it would help. I had soo much resentment towards my ex and letting it go has been one of the most wonderful things that I have done for DD and for myself.

Hopefully its over for you soon!! How long do you have to reach and agreement?

[usedtobebear]

Sept 10, 2012 16:40:42 GMT -5 @pdx18 said:

Turtle, I'm really sorry to hear this. I don't have kids so I can't really say anything specifically but just wanted to send big hugs!

This, I have no kids either and I can't even imagine the stress of having to deal with this being drawn out so long, hang in there, there will be relief soon!!!

[doriswe]

Ugh, I can't imagine dealing with all of that. Sending huge hugs and lots of positive energy your way!!

[explorer2001]

Stay strong. I don't have kids but several of my friends with.kids went through this. Ultimately they just gave their exes.enough rope to hang themselves and documented it for the court. Hugs. Good luck.

[turtle1120]

I've been in counseling and it's been a huge help, but there's only so much counseling can do when dealing with one of the world's biggest douches. I have come a long way since I started, and my counselor agrees that a resolution will be the final piece for me putting this all in the past.

Stephb - don't even get me started on the attorney's fees because of all this. It's so depressing.

Thanks for your support ladies!

[Deleted]

Sept 10, 2012 16:40:42 GMT -5 @pdx18 said:

Turtle, I'm really sorry to hear this. I don't have kids so I can't really say anything specifically but just wanted to send big hugs!

Ditto... ({) (})

[naeljun]

I'm so sorry to hear this is still ongoing. I didn't have a battle at all but I am sure it sucks the life completely out of you. Stay strong. YOu know what is best.

[lovelybb]

I'm sorry you're going through this... D's ex is taking him back to court, not because she wants more time with the girls - she actually willingly gives him more time than what the CO dictates, but because she wants more $$$. He said if he has to buy them off of her, he will.

Keep remembering that you're doing what's in your DD's best interests!

[aerochyck]

I completely understand what you are going through. Our arrangement is completed and yet he still tries to harass me about filing an amendment for this or that.

I just try and remember that as long as I continue to do what is in the best interest of the kids then I owe him nothing else.