NMMR: My cousin died last night

[alleinesein]

This is the closest thing I have to a home board and I need to just put my thoughts out there.

My cousin K was on her way to Nashville for NYE with some friends and their plane went down in Illinois.  No one survived.  Our family is grieving and everyone is a total mess.  My mom had to tell me 3 times before it clicked that she was gone.  She always drives everywhere so it just wasn't connecting in my head that she was on a plane.

K's mom is my cousin J.  Cousin J and my mom grew up together and were pretty much raised like sisters.  My mom is devastated and is alternating between crying and trying to act like normal.  I'm still in shock because it just doesn't seem real.  The NTSB is investigating the crash and they haven't released names yet.  My cousin J is broken; her husband M had to make all the phone calls today because J can't even talk.  I just want to be there to hug her right now.  

K has a 12 yer old son who now has to grow up without his mom.  

She is the first cousin in my generation to pass away.  She is just a few years younger than me.  She is one of the few cousins that I had a relationship with and managed to see every time I went back home.  K and her brother S used to fight over me when we were younger because she didn't want him to play with me.

Mom and I are just waiting for more information right now so that we can plan our trip back to Iowa.  My great aunt is flying in tomorrow (she is K's grandma) to help out and take care of her daughter and great grandson.  The fact that my mom is ready to pack a bag and hop on a plane to Iowa in January tells me that this is really hurting her because she hates going to Iowa when it is cold.  I've been wanting to go back home to visit family but I didn't expect my next trip back to be for a funeral.

[awick14]

((Hugs)) I am so sorry for your loss.

[raangoli]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

[1yeartogo]

I am so sorry for your loss. Losing someone young in the family unexpectedly can be so devastating because you had no time to say goodbye and never made a dialogue in your head about what losing that person might look like.

Take your time to grieve...the state of shock could last for a while. Some days you may be feeling okay and others like you can't breathe. There is no wrong way to honor the person you loved. Remember to be kind to yourself and other family members because grief looks different from person to person.

Because you were very close it would probably be a good idea to consider talking to a counselor at some point just to help you process what is going on and to provide someone outside of the grief process to fully be with you and listening to how this is affecting you. This could be now or months in the future, but don't forget it is an option which may be beneficial.

My thoughts are with you.

[scout8]

I'm so sorry.

[sharic]

I'm so sorry. I live in Iowa and it was on the news this morning. Thinking of you and your family while you try to process all of this. Hugs.

[bostonmichelle]

Hugs. I'm so sorry.

[melmel48]

I am so , so sorry for your loss. 

[andwhat]

I am so sorry for your loss. Prayers for your family.

[fireplace]

I'm so sorry.

[mbcdefg]

Oh my gosh, how awful. I'm so sorry

[ally]

My thoughts are with you and your family.

[Pom]

I am so very sorry for your loss.

[Pilsy]

I'm so sorry. You're all in my thoughts and prayers.

[dr.girlfriend]

I am so very sorry. I have cousins I grew up with like siblings, and one of them passed away very suddenly last year, in his early 40's. It is awful, and I think sometimes people don't realize the impact as they would if you said a parent or sibling passed away, even though it can feel the same. Hugs from me.

[explorer2001]

Hugs. I'm so sorry for your loss

[KaraOrNot]

I am sorry for your loss. Hugs.

[konapoppy]

I am so sorry for your loss. Thinking of you and your family.

[followyourarrow]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

[blondemoment123]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

[sarapocalypse]

I am so sorry for your loss. Thoughts and prayers.

[IrishBelle]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Thinking of you and your family at this difficult time.

[steph96]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

[insominac]

Horrible. Just horrible.
I'm so sorry that you and your family are going through this.

[aurora]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Sending wishes for peace to your family.

[MrsE]

Oh I'm so sorry to hear that. ((Hugs))

[starlily]

I'm so sorry. How tragic.

[Deleted]

I'm so sorry to hear about your cousin. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Hugs.

[hurricanedrunk]

I'm so sorry for the loss of your cousin.

[liveintheville]

I'm so sorry for your loss. It's terrible to lose someone that way.