Post by starburst604 on Sept 11, 2012 10:10:41 GMT -5
I've always struggled with this as well and it's been hard for me to overlook. I notice that T makes errors like that sometimes (mostly over text), and I finally had to let him know that it's could HAVE, not could OF. But, he can do math in his head like Rain Man and I can barely figure out the tip. I guess we all have our strengths and weaknesses.
I'm a terrible typist and fat finger a lot of things, so my correspondences aren't always pristine. But I was an English major, I have a journalism background, I write for a living, and I'm an enormous snob about grammar. This would drive me insane and make someone far less attractive to me.
Post by udscoobychick on Sept 11, 2012 10:15:05 GMT -5
I wouldn't be able to get past it. Occasional errors, sure. We're all human. A pattern? No. It makes someone appear significantly less intelligent to me when he has poor grammar and spelling, especially in this day and age where spell check is available pretty much everywhere. It seems sloppy and careless to me.
I'm struggling with this right now! His biggest offense is incorrect your. He's done it correctly a few times, so I know he knows how to use it. I think it's more just a lazy thing. I did call him out on it once at the very beginning and he just ignored it. I decided that it wasn't really a battle worth picking. Other than that, he's great. So for now I just cringe every time I see it and make sure I use it correctly anytime I send him something...just in case he decides to call me out on it
Before meeting him, I had stopped talking to guys because of the terrible grammar or text speak. T's not so bad on the text speak, just grammar. I think because we started talking on the phone before really texting/emailing I was able to see that he had the qualities I needed/wanted in my next partner and was able to look past it. Plus, I told a good friend I called him out on the your thing and she laid into me...that helped some also!
Post by dakotadangerdog on Sept 11, 2012 10:35:04 GMT -5
Seriously, I think you guys sound crazy. Who fucking cares if a guy mixes up there/their/they're??? If he is an amazing guy that treats you right and you could have a great relationship together would you really pass him up for grammatical errors? How fucking snobby can you get? It's even worse than "I would never date a guy who doesn't have a college degree".
Seriously, I think you guys sound crazy. Who fucking cares if a guy mixes up there/their/they're??? If he is an amazing guy that treats you right and you could have a great relationship together would you really pass him up for grammatical errors? How fucking snobby can you get? It's even worse than "I would never date a guy who doesn't have a college degree".
I'm a total snob about this. It's a huge pet peeve of mine.
Thor doesn't have a college degree, and his grammar is impeccable. One of my favorite things he does is to correct the students when the come into the bar.
Student: uh, can I get a Coors Light? Thor: It's "may I"? Student: ...whut? Thor: In this context, it's may, not can. You need to ask me "May I have a beer?" Student: ...um. ok. May I have a beer? Thor: Why, yes, you certainly may!
I'm a total snob about this. It's a huge pet peeve of mine.
Thor doesn't have a college degree, and his grammar is impeccable. One of my favorite things he does is to correct the students when the come into the bar.
Student: uh, can I get a Coors Light? Thor: It's "may I"? Student: ...whut? Thor: In this context, it's may, not can. You need to ask me "May I have a beer?" Student: ...um. ok. May I have a beer? Thor: Why, yes, you certainly may!
They never get it wrong again.
Haha I love this! I don't care how educated you are, as long as you can speak properly!
I'm a total snob about this. It's a huge pet peeve of mine.
Thor doesn't have a college degree, and his grammar is impeccable. One of my favorite things he does is to correct the students when the come into the bar.
Student: uh, can I get a Coors Light? Thor: It's "may I"? Student: ...whut? Thor: In this context, it's may, not can. You need to ask me "May I have a beer?" Student: ...um. ok. May I have a beer? Thor: Why, yes, you certainly may!
They never get it wrong again.
Haha I love this! I don't care how educated you are, as long as you can speak properly!
Post by explorer2001 on Sept 11, 2012 10:47:00 GMT -5
I think it depends. W is articulate and smart, but his texts are always text speak and abbreviations. It's also the medium used. If he wrote like that for work, I'd have issues, for texts not so much.
Seriously, I think you guys sound crazy. Who fucking cares if a guy mixes up there/their/they're??? If he is an amazing guy that treats you right and you could have a great relationship together would you really pass him up for grammatical errors? How fucking snobby can you get? It's even worse than "I would never date a guy who doesn't have a college degree".
Really? I get that if they mess up typing or writing that's one thing, but I think that if someone's grammar is so atrocious that they sound like a moron and you can't take them places, it's an entirely different animal. I'm an attorney, I go to networking events and I'm certainly not going to take someone with me who sounds like he didn't complete high school. If he thinks "there ain't nothin' wrong wit the way I talk" then he's not the right man for me.
I get that for you, in a professional setting you don't want to date some fuckin yokel who can't talk right. But seriously, if they talk like a normal person but have some trouble with spelling/grammar in text messages is it really that big of a deal?
It's not a big deal with me, as long as they can speak properly. D has dyslexia so he spells everything wrong and he's brilliant. In fact, all of his brothers have dyslexia and one is an ER doctor, so that is not a hill I'm going to die on.
Are we talking solely text messages? I don't care. Text speak makes me crazy, but that's the medium for it. If that shit carries over into other correspondence, though? Yeah, I'm bothered.
Like I said, I am guilty of typos galore. But I know how to spell and write.
People who confuse the there/their/they're and to/too/two etc. make me die inside. We learned that in 4th grade. Did they have chicken pox that week? DID NO ONE BRING THEM THEIR ASSIGNMENTS?
Honestly, if you are really into a guy, the nit picky things don't matter. I used to focus on that and get hung up on it with guys I felt so-so about. It was never a dealbreaker but would irk me and I couldn't get over it.
My bf right now doesn't always use proper grammar in text messages and I don't even notice anymore. In the big scheme of who he is, it doesn't matter. He is a genius...he just doesn't spend lots of time typing out messages. I know I make mistakes too. I have an English background, I am in publishing and I am a writer and it still doesn't bother me.
Posts like these kind of make me feel nervous. My vocabulary isn't as colorful as others since I don't "hear" conversations to pick up on new words. I pronounce some words wrong because I forget what it is supposed to sound like since I can't replicate sounds. When I lip-read, I only gather about 60% of what the other person is saying and try my best to make out the rest in my mind. Reading would help me with my grammar; I just need to find time to do so.
American Sign Language has a totally different grammar and is a visual language that projects the concept directly rather than pretty words together to form a concept in the mind. English tends to have same words that have several concept/meanings to each of them (i.e. running - could mean running in a race, the water is running, I am running for president).
My grammar, past tense and present tense (signing tenses is movement unlike English with words that have endings like ing, ed, and etc. so I forget to type them.
I do need to put in better effort to improve my grammar, though I will always have a "deaf" accent in my speaking and writing.
I will have to find a guy that finds me adorable enough to not let this bother him too much.
My bff messes words up like this but this is also not his 1st language..... I try to remind myself that I'm far from perfect and to cut the guy some slack but it still urks me.
I'm a lurker, but I'd like to point out that "urk" is not a word. The correct spelling is "irk". Soooo, there's that.
Are we talking solely text messages? I don't care. Text speak makes me crazy, but that's the medium for it. If that shit carries over into other correspondence, though? Yeah, I'm bothered.
Like I said, I am guilty of typos galore. But I know how to spell and write.
People who confuse the there/their/they're and to/too/two etc. make me die inside. We learned that in 4th grade. Did they have chicken pox that week? DID NO ONE BRING THEM THEIR ASSIGNMENTS?
This. It is one thing to sound ignorant during verbal communication but it is another to use "ur" instead of "your" in a text (although it still makes me stabby).
The other guy I'm dating (2 dates so far) is from another country and his grammar is fine, LOL. It kind of cracks me up.
It's easier to have a better grammar when it's not your native language since you have to actually learn the rules. I have taught basic English but I cannot teach Spanish to save my life.
I wouldn't rule someone out just because of poor grammar/spelling but I would be pretty much correcting the guy every time and that would not be fun at all. I die inside every time I see someone spelling the hay/ay/ahà in Spanish, which would be the equivalent to your "your/you're debate."
Post by farfalla2011 on Sept 11, 2012 11:14:41 GMT -5
I'm another in the boat of if everything else is great, its not that big of a deal. Does it bother me? Sometimes. Is it a deal breaker? No.
I used to think it would be a deal breaker for me. However, BF speaks well and is intelligent. He just can't figure out if you should use your or you're, there or their as well as a few others.
I figure, we as people aren't perfect and if the person is really great I think written grammar would be a silly reason to write someone off.
If this is mainly through texting, I wouldn't worry about it. On my iPhone, I find having to go back and correct a word can be a PITA and if I'm writing in a hurry, I'm not going to take the time to correct it.
Through normal email written at a computer- I do get a little less forgiving. It's not that difficult to read what you wrote and go back and quickly correct.
Posts like these kind of make me feel nervous. My vocabulary isn't as colorful as others since I don't "hear" conversations to pick up on new words. I pronounce some words wrong because I forget what it is supposed to sound like since I can't replicate sounds. When I lip-read, I only gather about 60% of what the other person is saying and try my best to make out the rest in my mind. Reading would help me with my grammar; I just need to find time to do so.
American Sign Language has a totally different grammar and is a visual language that projects the concept directly rather than pretty words together to form a concept in the mind. English tends to have same words that have several concept/meanings to each of them (i.e. running - could mean running in a race, the water is running, I am running for president).
My grammar, past tense and present tense (signing tenses is movement unlike English with words that have endings like ing, ed, and etc. so I forget to type them.
I do need to put in better effort to improve my grammar, though I will always have a "deaf" accent in my speaking and writing.
I will have to find a guy that finds me adorable enough to not let this bother him too much.
For what it's worth, I would never know you were deaf if you hadn't shared it. Your writing doesn't seem lacking at all.
I'm dating a non-native speaker, and we just made an agreement early on. I asked if he wanted me to correct mistakes when I hear them, and he was eager to have my help. So when something registers with me, I correct it.
Most of the time it's not a big deal anyway (his English is already miles ahead of any of my other languages), but there are a very few things that drive me nuts. Like so many Brazilians, he pronounces the -ed at the end of past-tense words as a separate syllable, and for some reason this gets under my skin sometimes. However, since we established that he doesn't mind my correcting him, I get to point it out, which makes me feel better and helps him fix it. Plus, he likes to tease people, so this is one of my ways of teasing him back.
I think that as long as someone is willing to learn and you can establish the right intent and agreement, if it's really an issue for you, then you might as well try to help. Especially if you can set the right tone and turn it into something fun that the two of you share.
Post by prettyinpearls on Sept 11, 2012 12:01:42 GMT -5
There are a bunch of picky mcpickerson's on this board. As long as the man doesn't say "I seen", talk like a hillbilly or need to have professional correspondence as part of his job...who the fuck cares?! FFS.
There are a bunch of picky mcpickerson's on this board. As long as the man doesn't say "I seen", talk like a hillbilly or need to have professional correspondence as part of his job...who the fuck cares?! FFS.
There are a bunch of picky mcpickerson's on this board. As long as the man doesn't say "I seen", talk like a hillbilly or need to have professional correspondence as part of his job...who the fuck cares?! FFS.
I would argue that there are very few jobs where you don't need to be able to communicate professionally, whether by email, telephone, letter, or whatever. Communication is key in both professional and personal relationships.
There are a bunch of picky mcpickerson's on this board. As long as the man doesn't say "I seen", talk like a hillbilly or need to have professional correspondence as part of his job...who the fuck cares?! FFS.
I don't get why this is a FFS. Everyone has things that bother them. Last time I checked people weren't saying that you were ridiculous for things that annoy you.
I agree that if you REFUSE to date someone who mixes up "your" and "you're" at times that is slightly over the top but what is wrong with saying that it bothers you?