Is this offensive

[rubytue]

"Bob" is a mousy guy, I have about 2 inches and 40 lbs on him. He is generally friendly, and I've never had a problem with him. He doesn't have much of a personality, but is nice enough. Just real quiet. Me - I laugh and joke around a lot, maybe sometimes too much. But I also call thing as I see them.

I was doing some work on something that was half assembled, and I needed to do it without Bob's help.

edited to remove direct quotes for long-term google purposes. Thanks for understanding

[EmilieMadison]

I dont think it's so much offensive as inappropriately bizarre.

[EmilieMadison]

Hmm, upon further reflection, is it possible that Bob has Asperger's Syndrome? If so, then this would make a lot of sense.

[curbsideprophet]

How old is he?

[rubytue]

May 17, 2012 20:20:17 GMT -5 @barefootbarista said:

Bob just seems a tad strange. His response sounds like he lacks social skills.

Good call. Funny, he was on travel in the same location and me (and 2 other coworkers) last week. We didn't see him once.

Really, I don't think he meant any harm by it. But dude... after being called out on something, who on earth repeats it twice more?!

What really bugs me is that in about 3 months, my department is moving to that building full time, and will have to share the lab space. And I honestly wonder how pervasive that attitude is (its a very male dominated lab area, and my group is 8 women and 1 male).

[rubytue]

May 17, 2012 20:23:37 GMT -5 curbsideprophet said:

How old is he?

roughly 10 years older than me. I'd put him 45-ish.

[curbsideprophet]

Hmm 40s is young enough for me to find it odd. It would make more sense if he was over 60.

[rubytue]

Odd is a better word. I'm not really "offended" much. But I do call men out when they treat me like someone being a woman makes me different at work.

I spent most of the just perplexed by it, but then I was relaying the story to someone else (as part of a "OMG, this move is going to be terrible b/c of some other crap that happened when I was just trying to work today"), and my coworker (another guy) was so taken aback by the conversation.

[spiderspray]

It probably doesn't help that I read Bob's voice as an overly calm, creepy serial killer voice.

Especially the "Okay, I've helped you" part.

If he's otherwise normally functioning, then I vote offensive. If he always acts like this, I'm thinking just a general lack of social skills is at play.

[heygrey]

odd, but not terribly offensive. i think you handled it well by addressing the comment directly and immediately.

[Deleted]

WTF? Does Bob have Asperger's?

ETA: Ditto emiliemadison

[steph96]

May 17, 2012 20:39:00 GMT -5 spiderspray said:

It probably doesn't help that I read Bob's voice as an overly calm, creepy serial killer voice.

Especially the "Okay, I've helped you" part.

If he's otherwise normally functioning, then I vote offensive. If he always acts like this, I'm thinking just a general lack of social skills is at play.

This.

[rubytue]

May 17, 2012 20:54:57 GMT -5 @redbellpeppers said:

WTF? Does Bob have Asperger's?

ETA: Ditto emiliemadison

I've worked with him for 11 years, and this is the first time its been this odd. Social skills are low, but never this bad!

[Deleted]

Eh. Just old-fashioned and a little weird. Doesn't sound like he's likely to be in charge any time soon so no worries.

[Deleted]

WEIRDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

[BNL2]

Bob is a weirdo. Weirdos say weird things. I wouldn't read too much into it.

[insominac]

Ask to borrow $20.
Repeat.

[LLYS]

This is Bob's version of "Telling it like it is" from HIS viewpoint.

[juris11]

I vote weirdo in general. I wouldn't analyze it further.

[mrssandro]

No. I would just laugh it off.

[kzoomaggie]

He just seems a little odd... It doesn't seem like he is being offensive... just weird

[dr.girlfriend]

Do you think the third time was him trying (not successfully) to make a joke of it, realizing he said something stupid? Because, obviously he didn't do anything to help. In general, though, I agree with this being more of a cluelessness/social skills problem. Is he single?

I would be tempted to say, "Bob, I could benchpress you. There's nothing about my uterus that requires you to step in here." But that probably would be offensive. :-)