How to prepare a toddler?

[MrsNiner]

MrNiner will be leaving for BCT for ANG in August. Our son will be 18 months at the time. He will be gone for 14 weeks (OSUT). What are the best ways to prepare/deal with this separation for BabyNiner? We are planning on recordable books for bedtime stories, and we are also going to make a picture album of him and Dad for him to flip through during the separation.

Are there any other things we should be doing or prepare for? I plan on asking his pedi at his 15 month wellness check next week, but I figured you ladies would have more experience with this than him.

TIA

[JakJak]

Have you looked into the build a bears? I know that one of my friends just had her DH take her DS to build one, and you can have a recorded message put inside. His is just of his dad saying "I love you", I think they have little uniforms you can put on them too?

[mangomama]

My husband recorded him reading about 13 different (short) books to my daughter. He asks questions and asks her to do thing (i.e. "point to the sky!") and she gets a total kick out of it. She likes to kiss a picture of him that is hanging in the hallway right outside of her bedroom door.
We talk about daddy all of the time and he is very much a part of our everyday lives. Whenever she cries for him or asks for him and just say "remember when we said bye bye to daddy?" and talk about where we were, what we did, etc. That seems to bore her enough to move on to something else or maybe she does remember. Either way, it works.

She loves making pictures and cards (i.e.hand print art, stickers randomly slapped on paper-fold it in half and call it a card) to send to him and when we see him on Skype he shows her where he has them.

And obviously if you have any religious objections you don't have to do this, but we pray for daddy at every meal and at bedtime...or whenever she asks to.

Kids are so resilient and he doesn't have any concept of time yet so saying "we'll see daddy soon" should be okay.

[guest1]

Do you have USO near you? If so, based on age they should be able to provide you with "Talk, Listen, Connect" - it's part of the Sesame Street Experience program. They are DVDs that little ones can watch to help explain separations.

A second one which is mentioned above is the USO's partnership with United Through Reading. A service member can be recorded while reading a book to your little one. The book and the DVD then go to the child so they can read along with mom/dad.

[iluvmytxrgr]

For an 18 month old, there really isn't much you can do to prepare them. You really just have to prepare your self. The Sesame Street video is great, but he won't understand it. I would get your H to video him self reading books to him. I would also take videos of the two of them playing with his favorite toys. The recordable books are great.
Keeping him busy and keeping your routine as normal as possible will help him. There is really nothing you can do to help a child that age understand what's going on. Just remember that your attitude and approach toward it all will dictate his emotions. If you break down and loose it, he will, too.

[honeybadger]

I agree with TX. I think the key (especially with kids that age) is to just stick to a routine. Don't just stay inside your house, or let things go just because he is gone. Get out and see/do. Plan activities, the recorded story books are great!

[NomadicMama]

I would take pictures of the two of them together, as well as you and DH together, and the three of you together, print them, then hang them around the house. The visual images of DH with each of you and as a family will help your LO continue to see his daddy as a part of the family.

At this age, he's not going to really understand what's going on. Do your best to remain consistent with him. Also, remember to take care of yourself. Make sure you plan for time with your friends, to get your hair cut, to have a cup of coffee without a toddler pulling on your sleeve. By taking care of yourself, too, you'll be better able to care for your LO.

Good luck. Separation is difficult, but part of the military life. We're here for you!