SAH with kids in school

[nicolewi]

I posted about this on MM today. I don't think anyone here is in this position. If you are a SAHM with kids in school, or have been, what's it like? Unless I have a new-career-epiphany any time soon, I think I'd like to continue to stay home if we can swing it and it is really helpful to us in many ways with DH's schedule. For sure I'm hoping we can do it for at least four more years--until my oldest is done with her first year of (gulp) middle school and my youngest is done with kindergarten. BUT...I have a hard time imagining what it's like to be home w/out the littles around. And maybe in the next four years I'll come up with something I'd really like to do, or maybe financially I'll have to go back to something, but who knows.  

[abs]

I SAH. Honestly I'm busier now than I was when DD was in preschool. I'm room mom and also hold a coordinator position on the PTO. Between activities, house stuff, and doctors appointments we always have something going on.

When there is not something going on I make time for the gym and lunch with my mom. It's kind of glorious, really.

[cjcouple]

I did it for a little while when my youngest was in preschool. So it wasn't full day but it was 4 half days and I had a solid 3 hours to myself.

While it was sad at first, I loved it because I could volunteer in their schools, get the housework done, dinners planned, organized after school sports witgout stress. Plus do all those peskty errands, groceries and shopping ;-).
Which freed up my weeknights and weekends allowing a lot more quality time with my family when they were all home.  

There was always something that needed to be done too. Seasonal clothing changes and purging, reorganizing closets or bedrooms, spring/fall cleanings, packing for vacations, Christmas shopping and wrapping were huge. No late night wrapping biuges. I felt so relaxed that Christmas!! It was glorious.

Of course I had my lazy binge tv days or or sick days where I just lazed around.  I never had to stress about snow days or a sick kid.

I do think if my kids were older, and a lot more self sufficient it could get a bit boring in time but it's very gradual and there is plenty of things to take up if you wanted.  

Again, I was never a 6+ hour days without them but I can see myself still being busy enough. I miss it greatly! Unfortunately, our situation changed and didn't allow for it to continue.   

 

[Kcthepouchh8r]

I am. I agree with abs it feels busier in ways from preschool. I'm a room parent, on the pta board and volunteer in the school a lot so it keeps me busy. I also feel like it would be a huge hassle to work given the school day is 9-3, at least one day a month they have a day off midweek (if not more), summers, so many sick days from all the viruses that get passed around, etc. The first winter was tough because it was really snowy and I got bored but now I'm in a good routune. It's also amazing having a clean, organized house finally.

[momin2013]

I saw the MM thread first so I responded over there...

[nowa]

So glad you asked this question. I'll be interested in the replies. I'm not sure if I have the choice financially, but I'm struggling with this question too. Go back to work in 1 or 2 years or keep SAH. I can totally see how my time will be filled easily if I SAH. I'm already on the preschool board and will continue next year. I have committed to being on the PTA board next year too. Plus the regular day-to-day insanity of parent/adulthood and volunteer activities that are not related to the kids. And oh how I'd love time to go to the gym.

But then I look at some of the other parents who also volunteer a lot and they seem to have their shit together AND they work full or part-time and if I'm being honest, I feel inadequate. Plus, I want to put my expensive graduate degree to use so I don't feel like it was money down the drain. And also I do miss the intellectual challenges of working and feeling like I'm contributing to society and helping solve problems.

Then I think that if I do go back to working, will we even break even anyway? I did non-profit work and will likely continue down that path. So not exactly making a lot of money and when you factor in before/after care and summer camp costs for three kids, how much will I be taking home?

[gastro]

I will likely SAH. I am DS1s room parent and volunteer quite a bit already. DS2 will be in preschool 4 mornings a week in August so I plan to do more volunteer work at school. With the kids activities, different drop offs etc there isn't much time anyway. My DH travels occasionally for work and has a demanding job so it probably wouldn't work for our family to have us both working. When I quit to SAH DH was outearning me exponentially that me working doesn't contribute in a meaningful way financially.
I do keep in very good touch with my friends and former colleagues so the door is always open for me to go back and I still continue to do the random event or consulting.

[mamaalysson]

My youngest just started preschool this year, so I get one morning and one full day a week where both kids are in school (older one is in first grade). I am crazy busy! I volunteer every other week in DD's classroom and once a month in DS'. I run the Book Fair in the fall and spring. I try to go to the monthly parent-principal morning coffees at DD's school. I teach an after school sewing class once a week. And my SIL and I started a non-profit this year, so I guess that sort of became my new career. Like others, my working outside of the home would add so much stress to our daily life. DH's job is such that he would rarely be available for drop offs, pick ups, sick days, snow days, appointments, classes, or random no school days, so all of that would fall to me to cover and/or would mean paying someone to watch them. Not to mention fitting in laundry, grocery shopping, and meal planning. That's a stress as it is, and we already farmed out the cleaning to someone else. While the extra income would be nice, we are perfectly fine without it, and it's not worth the chaos it would bring to our lives. Right now the nonprofit seems to be where my future career is heading, and maybe there's a point in time where we can figure out how to pay ourselves a salary, but for now things are fine as they are. DS will add another half day of preschool next year, and then he'll be full-time with his sister the next year.

[expectantsteelerfan]

My ds is in 2nd and my dd is in preschool, will be in half day K next year. I work one day a week (if that) as a substitute when my MIL can help with the kids, and we're going to keep that schedule for next year too. I MIGHT work more days once dd is in 1st, but it will depend on how hard it is to do before-care (I am home before elementary dismisses, but I have to be there a half hour before mine get on the bus and dh can't be there in the AM).
But I also find myself crazy busy...I'm PTA secretary, I also help run a lot of the fundraisers, I'm room mom this year, I take one grad class a semester, and I find myself running all over most days.

[L From The D]

(Raises hand). DS is in third grade and DD is in kindy. I do work from home, but it is very part time; I work 1-2 hours per day. The days are easily filled with grocery shopping, errands, housework, and volunteering. I help in the kindy class once a week, I help with the book fairs and field trips, and I coordinate (or help with) all the class parties.

[melew]

DD1 is in 3rd grade and DD2 goes to preschool 3 days a week for 3 hours. I will echo many others in that I feel busier now than before they were in school. The small windows of time during the week that both are in school I usually jam pack with errands and things to get done that are more easily accomplished solo. That 3 hours seems to fly by. Add to it they both are involved in activities/sports a few days a week, there is not a ton of down time. I am also quite involved at DD1's school with volunteer work (currently have a leadership role organizing the school's annual auction) and will also help out at DD2's for field trips and class parties.

DH has always left the decision up to me as to whether or not I will return to working out of the home. As it currently stands, we do not need the income and I am happy as a SAHM. I do get pangs of missing an office environment and co-worker interaction from time to time. Honestly, having me work full time would be a challenge for our family with DH's work schedule. He travels a few times a year for a couple weeks at a time (international travel), has late conference calls due to part of the team being overseas, and unpredictable meetings he needs to attend. He is well aware and admits that my staying home is a tremendous help to him in his career and is very appreciative of that. But he also would support me 100% if I want to stop being a SAHM. I think I will make a more definitive decision when the time comes, but for now, this works for our family.

[lovebeingmama]

I do. My kids are in school full day. I am bored. I have no desire to become more involved in school activities (PTA, etc), though I do volunteer to help on field trips or with class projects. I suck at cleaning my house or meal planning, so it isn't even like I get a ton of stuff done while they are at school. There are other moms at my school in the same position, so I occasionally do stuff with them. But mostly, I feel like I waste my day. Of course, this is all due to my own personality/motivation to get things done, but there are many days when I wish I worked at least part time, if not full time. My situation is a little different in that I was somewhat forced into this position when my family moved overseas for my husband's job. I had been working full time after taking a few years off to SAH, and I enjoyed working. Giving it up to stay at home while my kids are in school wasn't my choice, and while I deal with it, I'm not thrilled about it.

[dizzycooks]

Honestl atm staying home while the kids are at school sounds pretty good. My big is making me crazy.

[melew]

Apr 26, 2017 15:10:18 GMT -5 mamaalysson said:

My youngest just started preschool this year, so I get one morning and one full day a week where both kids are in school (older one is in first grade). I am crazy busy! I volunteer every other week in DD's classroom and once a month in DS'. I run the Book Fair in the fall and spring. I try to go to the monthly parent-principal morning coffees at DD's school. I teach an after school sewing class once a week. And my SIL and I started a non-profit this year, so I guess that sort of became my new career. Like others, my working outside of the home would add so much stress to our daily life. DH's job is such that he would rarely be available for drop offs, pick ups, sick days, snow days, appointments, classes, or random no school days, so all of that would fall to me to cover and/or would mean paying someone to watch them. Not to mention fitting in laundry, grocery shopping, and meal planning. That's a stress as it is, and we already farmed out the cleaning to someone else. While the extra income would be nice, we are perfectly fine without it, and it's not worth the chaos it would bring to our lives. Right now the nonprofit seems to be where my future career is heading, and maybe there's a point in time where we can figure out how to pay ourselves a salary, but for now things are fine as they are. DS will add another half day of preschool next year, and then he'll be full-time with his sister the next year.

I just want to say that I am extremely proud of your non-profit work!  You ladies have done a wonderful job welcoming others into our community and providing comfort to those in a vulnerable position.  Thank you for your hard work!

[gastro]

Apr 28, 2017 10:35:52 GMT -5 melew said:

Apr 26, 2017 15:10:18 GMT -5 mamaalysson said:

My youngest just started preschool this year, so I get one morning and one full day a week where both kids are in school (older one is in first grade). I am crazy busy! I volunteer every other week in DD's classroom and once a month in DS'. I run the Book Fair in the fall and spring. I try to go to the monthly parent-principal morning coffees at DD's school. I teach an after school sewing class once a week. And my SIL and I started a non-profit this year, so I guess that sort of became my new career. Like others, my working outside of the home would add so much stress to our daily life. DH's job is such that he would rarely be available for drop offs, pick ups, sick days, snow days, appointments, classes, or random no school days, so all of that would fall to me to cover and/or would mean paying someone to watch them. Not to mention fitting in laundry, grocery shopping, and meal planning. That's a stress as it is, and we already farmed out the cleaning to someone else. While the extra income would be nice, we are perfectly fine without it, and it's not worth the chaos it would bring to our lives. Right now the nonprofit seems to be where my future career is heading, and maybe there's a point in time where we can figure out how to pay ourselves a salary, but for now things are fine as they are. DS will add another half day of preschool next year, and then he'll be full-time with his sister the next year.

I just want to say that I am extremely proud of your non-profit work!  You ladies have done a wonderful job welcoming others into our community and providing comfort to those in a vulnerable position.  Thank you for your hard work!

mamaalysson I'd love an update on how it's going! And what you most need donation wise.