Help. WWYD?? (update)

[nicolewi]

DD1's friend's mom and I have been friendly since last summer...carpooling, playdates for the kids, did an American Girl trip together, etc. But not like besties. I'm going to a paint-a-board party at her house Friday but have never been inside before and we've never gone to lunch or dinner or anything.

She messaged me to ask if we are home on May 12 when the kids are off of school. I said yes, and now she messaged back asking if she can pay me to watch her kids from 9:15 to 3:15. I have no idea what to say. I'd be fine having them over for a day without her needing to pay me. Paying me seems weird. But yet, I don't want to get into something where she thinks it's cool to have them come over all the time. So do I say I am happy to do it; no need to pay me? Or take the money to avoid setting some kind of weird precedent? Help!

PS the kids are the same ages as my two oldest, so 2nd grade and kindergarten, so it could be like an extended playdate. But, her son has a broken leg right now and has been in a wheelchair, so that's kind of hard. I think he will be on crutches by then, though.  

UPDATE: So I responded and said that it would probably work out, and she wouldn't have to pay me, but asked when she needed to know for sure. I said it would probably work but I was hesitant to block the whole day already. Was that bitchy of me? It's true! I can't go anywhere all day with all of them here (if we wanted to do zoo, or garden center, or someone gets invited to a bday partY) and I wanted a little more time to figure things out...like through the weekend. I didn't tell her this, but my mom will be coming to town for Mother's Day weekend and it's always hard to plan when we could get together with her & my 98 year old grandma. So now she hasn't responded at all! I'm going to her house tonight for this paint-a-board party thing and we'll see how it goes. I don't know if she's mad now or what. 

[sacattack]

I would just say no need to pay me, I'm happy to help you out that Friday. Assuming the kids with the broken leg can do whatever you had planned. I'd look at it as collecting Karma points. :-) I don't think offering to help out once is really gateway to other times. If she asks again, I'd reevaluate it at that point.

[dizzycooks]

I'd do it without pay. Honestly her paying you sets a bigger precedent I think.

[lala]

Apr 26, 2017 11:46:23 GMT -5 sacattack said:

I would just say no need to pay me, I'm happy to help you out that Friday. Assuming the kids with the broken leg can do whatever you had planned. I'd look at it as collecting Karma points. :-) I don't think offering to help out once is really gateway to other times. If she asks again, I'd reevaluate it at that point.

This. Helping a friend in a pinch is, well, what friends do. 

[cjcouple]

Apr 26, 2017 11:46:23 GMT -5 sacattack said:

I would just say no need to pay me, I'm happy to help you out that Friday. Assuming the kids with the broken leg can do whatever you had planned. I'd look at it as collecting Karma points. :-) I don't think offering to help out once is really gateway to other times. If she asks again, I'd reevaluate it at that point.

This.

Next time if she asks if your home on XX date like that just say sorry I have plans. No need to elaborate further.  

[Deleted]

Apr 26, 2017 13:01:00 GMT -5 cjcouple said:

Apr 26, 2017 11:46:23 GMT -5 sacattack said:

I would just say no need to pay me, I'm happy to help you out that Friday. Assuming the kids with the broken leg can do whatever you had planned. I'd look at it as collecting Karma points. :-) I don't think offering to help out once is really gateway to other times. If she asks again, I'd reevaluate it at that point.

This.

Next time if she asks if your home on XX date like that just say sorry I have plans. No need to elaborate further.  

Yes, this for sure. Hopefully it is just that she is in a pinch but I would be careful to not set a precedent. Your time is valuable and that is a lot to ask more than once in awhile.

[court26]

I agree that it is a great thing if it is here or there! Seems like you probably know her well enough by now to sense if this is a new expectation or just a friendly help thing.

The money makes it so weird. I have a friend who puts my kids on the bus 1x a month and at first I insisted on paying her, and now I can't believe I do it. $15 for 20 minutes....oh well! I didn't want it to be weird and now it totally is!  I am not cheap and don't mind the $, it is just our kids are friends and she loves having them.  Weird.  Another friend keeps hinting that I watch her kiddo in the summer, but her kiddo is a handful and we get into a routine (I am a teacher).