Both of my pregnancies were fine but my second I had a precipitous labor and traumatic birth so the idea of going through that again terrifies me but we are pretty much against a third for other reasons. I just started with a new doctor and spoke to her about my birth and she said we could talk about options for a subsequent pregnancy but I'm not sure any plan would lessen the fear of delivering on the side of the road.
I really won't even consider a third as I was SO uncomfortable with my second pregnancy and after 2 precipitous labors I do not want to know how much faster a baby can be born. My first was 3 hours start to finish, second was 1 hour start to finish.
Yes, it's absolutely factoring in. I had evening sickness/exhaustion for first tri, severe allergy/sinus issues so bad they ended up having to put me on steroids so I could breathe, and SPD. I had no Mat leave and H (boyfriend at the time) wasn't working so I went back at 6 weeks. Struggled to pump/BF enough. Pretty sure I had PPDthat I have just recently emerged from (DD will be 3 in July). She's a smart, independent, strong-willed girl and it takes a lot for me to parent her (obvs her dad is helping here). And while he's working now, I still don't have mat leave and I now have a demanding, challenging job that I love. I would love for my baby to have a sibling, but at the end of the day I choose my physical and mental health.
I had a horrible first pregnancy (IVF baby and she was IUGR so lots of monitoring and concern) and horrific delivery (4th degree tear, vaginal hematoma, I was literally unable to sit down for 5 weeks and had to lay in bed 95% of my day). BFing was painful for the first 8 weeks.
I always knew I wanted a second too and was really not looking forward to doing it again. So even though we weren't really trying, we weren't preventing (I never thought I'd actually get pregnant, given our years of IF struggles). But, I did to my complete surprise.
My second pregnancy was a breeze, and I felt great most of the time, save for the usual first tri nausea/exhaustion and minor discomforts of late third tri. My delivery and recovery were amazing -- I had a great, easy induction and was able to deliver her in 5 hours without any pain meds. I literally could have walked out of there about an hour after giving birth. I felt amazing. BFing hurt for maybe a week and has been so, so easy the entire time.
So honestly, I would go for it. I may be atypical, and, you know, anecdotes, but almost everyone I know has at least an easier second delivery. So hopefully you'll be good.
I had an easy pregnancy, but a rough delivery the first time. Add postpartum pre-eclampsia and a very colicky baby and we stared to question our original desire for two children. Eventually, I had a major health scare in which it was thought by a bunch of doctors that I had a disease that would shorten my lifespan to 10 years, best case scenario and make having other children an absolute no go. After a very invasive and scary procedure, I was given the all clear. The first thing I thought when I got my life back was that I wanted another kid, even though I knew it might be rough. He's almost 10 months now and while it hasn't been easy, it hasn't been nearly as hard and I have zero regrets.
Obviously I don't have 2nd pregnancy anecdotes, but I just think you have to bite the bullet if you're sure you want a 2nd baby. Hopefully it will be easier this go around, because it seems like you had a truly awful experience. Sometimes the anticipation of a crappy experience can end up being worse than it actually ends up being. Just go for it, and know I'm willing to take P to the park with Cal some weekend afternoon if you end up truly desperate for a break ,
Yes. I had HE, SPD, and GD with DS but a really easy delivery. My entire pregnancy with DD was perfect (no sickness, barely tired, gained 20 on the dot). I always thought we'd have three, but I can't go through that again and my doctor said it's likely my pregnancy with #3 would be more like with DS than with DD.
We're over a year out from pregnancy now and I don't feel like we're missing anyone. Before DS I knew we would have a second because our family didn't feel complete. Now it does and between that and the risk of having another pregnancy like my second I just can't make myself do that.
ETA: If I felt like we were missing someone or we really, really wanted another I'd go through another 9 months to get there.
After the birth of DD1, the next day I turned to my husband and said I don't physically think I can go through that (being pregnant) again. It was so hard and miserable. He said he couldn't go through dealing with me being pregnant again.
Ultimately my desire for two children outweighed the complete suckiness of being pregnant. I did try to get healthy before pregnancy #2 - went to the chiropractor regularly and lost 30lbs. I'm 37 weeks pregnant now and it looks like I'm going to end up at the same ending weight despite starting the pregnancy 30 lbs below my first pre-pregnancy weight. Oh well. This pregnancy has overall been easier, probably because I know what I'm getting into. I.e. With the first pregnancy I felt like my heart was skipping a beat regularly. Cue lots of worry, echocardiogram, etc. it happened again this time and I'm like oh no biggie. I still have back issues that make it painful to walk sometimes, but going to the chiro early on has drastically reduced the pain.
My third tri has been definitely easier this time. Last time, I had a cough for months that got progressively worse, to the point of throwing up all the time and I even threw my back out and was in severe pain from coughing. It went away shortly after giving birth in march of 2015. I got the cougiing again this February and was worried it would last until I delivered #2, but thankfully it went away in its own in March. I'll probably singing a different tune though in the weeks ahead, as I go into the hardest weeks of pregnancy - those final weeks!
Post by DarcyLongfellow on May 12, 2017 11:41:36 GMT -5
My pregnancies were fine, but delivery and postpartum with DD1 were awful (I had to have a D&C 3 days after her birth, I had awful PPD). Plus, she had colic, so she screamed constantly for the first 5 months of her life.
The best advice I can give you is to NOT feel rushed to make any decisions. I had always assumed I'd have kids 2 years apart. Around the time DD1 was 18 months old I started to panic because I just couldn't imagine getting pregnant, but I felt like I had to if I wanted a second. DH told me to just forget about the idea of a second until I was ready. He also said that if I couldn't face it, then we'd just be happy with the one awesome kid we had.
By the time DD1 was 3, I was ready. My girls are 4 years apart, and although it's not the spacing I thought I'd want, I love it.
So just give yourself time. If you end up with an only child, then that's great! If in a year (or 2 or 3) you feel up to it and want another, then you can always have one then.