Say something or fold?

[chelsmat]

So we're staying with my mom for about a month while we do some updates on our new house. The problem is she smokes and we talked to her about it before we moved in. We asked that she smoke outside since she was insisting she wanted to have us here. We would have been happy to rent an apartment or figure out something else if she wasn't willing to do that. Now that we're here, She is smoking in her bedroom all nigh since she thinks we can't tell. So do o say something? And what? I feel bad since we're all in her space and all but we talked about this.

[momin2013]

I think this depends somewhat on the relationship you have with your mom. If it were me and my mom, I'd absolutely say something. If she's the type to be difficult about it, though, it's probably not worth the fight if it's only for a month. Maybe ask her if she wouldn't mind opening the window in her room if she has to smoke inside?...

[expectantsteelerfan]

What is is that you are most concerned about with the smoke? The 2nd hand smoke? Fire hazard? Smell?
If it's the 2nd hand smoke, honestly, I think I'd let it go. I don't imagine her smoking in her room is all that different than smoking outside as long as you don't let your kids go in her room ever. I would be nervous about her falling asleep smoking I think. But if it generally just bothers you, you'd need to decide if you'd be willing to leave at this point if she tells you she's doing the best she can and can't do anything about smoking in her room. If leaving isn't an option, I'd also probably not say anything.

[CrazyLucky]

How old are your kids? For one month, I'd probably tough it out. My kids know a lot of people who smoke, and we talk about how smoking is bad for you, and it hurts your lungs and makes your clothes stinky, etc. One time when DS was about 3, he saw a smoker outside the museum and said something, "Ew, yuck! cigarette!" The smoker laughed and said, "You're right!"

[nicolewi]

For a month, I think I'd mostly let it go. But first, I'd just let her know that you can tell she's smoking. She probably thinks no one notices, and maybe if she knows it's bothering you she would change things up. If she's going to continue to smoke in her room, I'd probably ask her to try to cut down a bit if possible until you leave. I'd still just stick it out for the month.

[L From The D]

I couldn't live with it, so I'd say something (although I probably wouldn't have made the choice to move in, knowing her habits).

[dizzycooks]

I'd probably let it go, but I'd never stay there again. I'd probably let her know that you know what she's doing to and are worried about her falling asleep or something.

[Gwen]

She is going to smoke in her room. It's her house, she has an addiction, and she's sneaky. This is the best you are going to get for your living conditions. It's okay to accept it or move out.

I feel bad that your mom promised you one thing and is sneaking another. Sure, you can say something or ignore it. But really, your choice is to accept or move out. It's okay to do either.

[niki]

I cannot stand cigarette smoke. If money isn't an issue, I would leave immediately. I would make sure to tell her that the smoke was too much for you and you worry about the second and third hand smoke your children are getting.