Christian school excludes pregnant student from graduation

[RoxMonster]

www.nytimes.com/2017/05/20/us/teen-pregnancy-religious-values-christian-school.html?smid=fb-nytimes&smtyp=cur&_r=0

“You have these two competing values,” said Brad Wilcox, a sociologist at the University of Virginia who directs the National Marriage Project, which conducts research on marriage and families. “On the one hand, the school is seeking to maintain some kind of commitment to what has classically been called chastity — or today might be called abstinence. At the same time, there’s an expectation in many Christian circles that we are doing all that we can to honor life.”

[pugz]

So infuriating

[muffin0]

Fucking hypocrites

[lilac05]

Definitely what Jesus would do. Force her to have the baby, shame her and exclude her while pregnant, and if she dares need assistance after the baby is born, she'll be shamed & called names, too.

It was people like this (hypocrites) who made Jesus furious.

[miniroller]

May 20, 2017 17:02:57 GMT -5 lilac05 said:

It was people like this (hypocrites) who made Jesus furious.

YES! I want to call them Pharisees!!!
Good for this girl; so pleased her family has gotten on board. I definitely wish her a happy & successful life!

[JayhawkGirl]

Somewhat of a tangent, but I don't want public education dollars landing here via vouchers, or its new school choice tag line.

I hate that she is being shunned, but also see where a private, religious school sets its own code of conduct. It is not what I want for my children. And it's not where I want public dollars and focus going.

[mbcdefg]

I went to an all-girls Catholic school ... our handbook specifically stated that a student who got married or pregnant had to leave the school.

I don't remember whether the handbook said married/pregnant students were entitled to home study, or if pregnant students could return after the birth.

I had a classmate in senior year who got pregnant and went on home instruction. She gave birth the day before graduation and the principal (a nun) announced it at our graduation rehearsal very cheerfully and called it a blessing.

[Vespasia]

Her pregnancy warranted an emergency meeting of the board and she had to essentially confess her sins in the auditorium? Lovely.

[Miss Phryne Fisher]

1) Is it a single-sex school?

if the answer to (1) is "no"

2) Does the father go to her school?

if yes,

3) Does he get to walk? If he is a junior, etc. does he get to walk next year?


If he does, burn the fucking school down.

ETA: i sorted through the I am SO Brave to keep my baby circle jerk and see that no, he doesn't. Note to Girl: pro-choicers ALSO often keep their babies. And pro-lifers often have abortions. You are not that special. Your choice is your choice: that is the point. 

[Vespasia]

May 20, 2017 17:35:12 GMT -5 Miss Phryne Fisher said:

1) Is it a single-sex school?

if the answer to (1) is "no"

2) Does the father go to her school?

if yes,

3) Does he get to walk? If he is a junior, etc. does he get to walk next year?


If he does, burn the fucking school down.

The father does not go to the school. That's the whole reason I read the article.

[Deleted]

May 20, 2017 17:35:12 GMT -5 Miss Phryne Fisher said:

1) Is it a single-sex school?

if the answer to (1) is "no"

2) Does the father go to her school?

if yes,

3) Does he get to walk? If he is a junior, etc. does he get to walk next year?


If he does, burn the fucking school down.

I was just coming in to say, the father doesn't get to walk either, right? Right?

::crickets::

ETA: I read the article and he doesn't go to school ​there. I'm still pissed at her school though!

[WorriedSisterAE]

She's my cousin.

There are teachers who turn their heads in the hallway to avoid making eye contact with her. Her younger brother also goes to the school, but her parents are probably going to pull him after this year. She was able to go to prom, and took her brother as her date.

No one in the extended family knows anything about the father. My mom was going to try to ask delicately ("Is he planning to be involved?") but didn't get around to it the last time she talked to them. My mom is making a quilt for the baby.

[JayhawkGirl]

I hope she knows there are many, many of us who know her baby will add joy and beauty to the world. I wish them all love and happiness in the months and years ahead.

[mcsangel2]

May 20, 2017 17:17:41 GMT -5 mbcdefg said:

I went to an all-girls Catholic school ... our handbook specifically stated that a student who got married or pregnant had to leave the school.

I don't remember whether the handbook said married/pregnant students were entitled to home study, or if pregnant students could return after the birth.

I had a classmate in senior year who got pregnant and went on home instruction. She gave birth the day before graduation and the principal (a nun) announced it at our graduation rehearsal very cheerfully and called it a blessing.

I went to a coed Lutheran Evangelical school. We had the same rule (pregnant girls were kicked out). That is, until a very popular all-star, multiple extracurricular activities student whose family was very high profile in the church community got pregnant at the end of her junior year. She was allowed to attend via home correspondence until she gave birth in her senior year, then returned and graduated on schedule. (The father was in my class and had already graduated 2 years before).

I don't know what they've done since then, that was 25 years ago. I'm sure of course that there have been other girls who've become pregnant, but don't know if any of them came from 'good families' like this girl did, if they've changed the rules or if it's on a case by case basis.

[WorriedSisterAE]

May 20, 2017 17:35:12 GMT -5 Miss Phryne Fisher said:

ETA: i sorted through the I am SO Brave to keep my baby circle jerk and see that no, he doesn't. Note to Girl: pro-choicers ALSO often keep their babies. And pro-lifers often have abortions. You are not that special. Your choice is your choice: that is the point. 

She posted a video on FB of her giving a pro-life, anti-Planned Parenthood speech in front of the US Capitol and it took every ounce of self-restraint not to post something about how Planned Parenthood prevents more abortions than it performs, because of the affordable birth control it provides to so many (like me, when I was 18).

I just couldn't argue with an 18yo who has been fed this anti-choice shit her whole life though.

[Miss Phryne Fisher]

May 20, 2017 17:58:33 GMT -5 WorriedSisterAE said:

May 20, 2017 17:35:12 GMT -5 Miss Phryne Fisher said:

ETA: i sorted through the I am SO Brave to keep my baby circle jerk and see that no, he doesn't. Note to Girl: pro-choicers ALSO often keep their babies. And pro-lifers often have abortions. You are not that special. Your choice is your choice: that is the point. 

She posted a video on FB of her giving a pro-life, anti-Planned Parenthood speech in front of the US Capitol and it took every ounce of self-restraint not to post something about how Planned Parenthood prevents more abortions than it performs, because of the affordable birth control it provides to so many (like me, when I was 18).

I just couldn't argue with an 18yo who has been fed this anti-choice shit her whole life though.

Oh man, you are a better person than I am to tell Satan not today on that one. 

You are right though, the very fact that she is (was?) planning on going to Bob Jones tells me how brainwashed she must be. I hope that her parents are more supportive than using her as some kind of "face of the prolifers" though. 

[mbcdefg]

May 20, 2017 17:54:07 GMT -5 mcsangel2 said:

May 20, 2017 17:17:41 GMT -5 mbcdefg said:

I went to an all-girls Catholic school ... our handbook specifically stated that a student who got married or pregnant had to leave the school.

I don't remember whether the handbook said married/pregnant students were entitled to home study, or if pregnant students could return after the birth.

I had a classmate in senior year who got pregnant and went on home instruction. She gave birth the day before graduation and the principal (a nun) announced it at our graduation rehearsal very cheerfully and called it a blessing.

I went to a coed Lutheran Evangelical school. We had the same rule (pregnant girls were kicked out). That is, until a very popular all-star, multiple extracurricular activities student whose family was very high profile in the church community got pregnant at the end of her junior year. She was allowed to attend via home correspondence until she gave birth in her senior year, then returned and graduated on schedule. (The father was in my class and had already graduated 2 years before).

I don't know what they've done since then, that was 25 years ago. I'm sure of course that there have been other girls who've become pregnant, but don't know if any of them came from 'good families' like this girl did, if they've changed the rules or if it's on a case by case basis.

Yeah, my brother's school (all boys, Catholic Jesuit) had strict academic and behavior rules ... but made an exception for the star quarterback who took five years to graduate by the skin of its teeth. It's funny how they can magically find these loopholes when they really want to.

[readyin07]

May 20, 2017 17:08:36 GMT -5 JayhawkGirl said:

Somewhat of a tangent, but I don't want public education dollars landing here via vouchers, or its new school choice tag line.

I hate that she is being shunned, but also see where a private, religious school sets its own code of conduct. It is not what I want for my children. And it's not where I want public dollars and focus going.

This times one fucking million. This exact reason is why private schools have no business getting tax dollars.

[Saint Monica]

Wow. That school really exeudes the Lord's love.


😞👎

[sonrisa]

May 20, 2017 16:37:36 GMT -5 RoxMonster said:

www.nytimes.com/2017/05/20/us/teen-pregnancy-religious-values-christian-school.html?smid=fb-nytimes&smtyp=cur&_r=0

“You have these two competing values,” said Brad Wilcox, a sociologist at the University of Virginia who directs the National Marriage Project, which conducts research on marriage and families. “On the one hand, the school is seeking to maintain some kind of commitment to what has classically been called chastity — or today might be called abstinence. At the same time, there’s an expectation in many Christian circles that we are doing all that we can to honor life.”

What about education? How is EDUCATION not one of the values in question when talking about a school? 

A school should view it's students as more than just chaste-until-married incubators. 

[StrawberryBlondie]

There is a private Lutheran school in my hometown (coed). They kicked out the pregnant girls, too. But not the boys who fathered the children. Even in middle school I recognized how fucked up that was.

[berrysweet]

I am so pissed off reading this, I'm physically shaking.

[BicycleBride]

May 20, 2017 17:17:41 GMT -5 mbcdefg said:

I went to an all-girls Catholic school ... our handbook specifically stated that a student who got married or pregnant had to leave the school.

I don't remember whether the handbook said married/pregnant students were entitled to home study, or if pregnant students could return after the birth.

I had a classmate in senior year who got pregnant and went on home instruction. She gave birth the day before graduation and the principal (a nun) announced it at our graduation rehearsal very cheerfully and called it a blessing.

I went to a catholic girls school. I remember talking about how dumb our pregnant students rules were but apparently I had no idea. Our pregnant students could keep coming to school as long as they could wear a uniform (and the office kept a maternity skirt to loan out). They couldn't do anything where they represented the school and couldn't bring their babies to school events. Neither of these last two rules were heavily enforced. My graduating class was 250 women and we had two babies and a pregnancy at graduation. The class unofficially threw baby showers for all three and a large percentage of teachers who knew them came to each one. One of the girls had her baby a few days before prom and came for an hour or so with her dad. It was actuallly really sweet.
All that is to say it is possible for religious schools to not be jerks when implementing these policies which makes it even more reprehensible when they choose the asshole route.

[sushi]

For those who went to schools like these what's the justification fire expulsion fir getting married without pregnancy? The assumption that you're not a Burgin and everyone else is? But there are married teachers. Wouldn't marring be seen as "moral?" Especially if you preserved your hymen?

I know I shouldn't like for logic or coinsurance in slut shaming.

[msmerymac]

May 20, 2017 17:17:41 GMT -5 mbcdefg said:

I went to an all-girls Catholic school ... our handbook specifically stated that a student who got married or pregnant had to leave the school.

I don't remember whether the handbook said married/pregnant students were entitled to home study, or if pregnant students could return after the birth.

I had a classmate in senior year who got pregnant and went on home instruction. She gave birth the day before graduation and the principal (a nun) announced it at our graduation rehearsal very cheerfully and called it a blessing.

Someone who was a junior when I was a freshman left and transferred to a new school over the summer. The rumor was that she was forced to leave because she was pregnant. Later, somehow someone brought it up with one of the religion instructors who said, "oh no! This school is pro-life. Of course we would never do that." BUUUT my school was quite proud that they had a 100% matriculation rate to 4 year colleges, which is hard to achieve if any of your graduates are single moms, so...

There were also rumors of at least two girls who had abortions, which could have been rumors of course, but as others have pointed out, having am abortion ensures there's no evidence of your premarital sex having ways and no one would have known, huh?

[msmerymac]

When I saw Dr Willie Parker speak he brought up this issue (it's also in him new book). As a teen, the girls who got pregnant at his church were shamed. But the boys who got them pregnant were still able to participate with no consequences. That's when he subconsciously developed the moral philosophy of choice and how it allows women to have equal agency.

[killercupcake]

May 20, 2017 22:15:20 GMT -5 @kirkette said:

I can't say I'm surprised, or even shocked.
It's not even just parochial schools who go this route with expectant students.
Depending on the district, in CA, public schools here kick out students for being pregnant, the moment a pregnancy is made know to staff, the student usually goes on home hospital, or to a continuation high school for expectant mothers.

The high school I went to did this. There was one girl in my class who was not kicked out for being pregnant, but she was already married, so I wonder if that had anything to do with their decision to let her stay.

The school I work at, however, does not do this. Same district.

[RoxMonster]

I went to a co-ed Catholic HS. I honestly only remember one student being pregnant while I was there, but it is very possibly others were and I didn't know. The student I know of transferred to our school temporarily, actually because her parents didn't want her siblings or other relatives back home to know she was pregnant, so they made her come to our school for the remainder of her pregnancy (someone adopted her baby after she gave birth).

Surprisingly, my Catholic school (from what I could see, and who knows what happened behind the scenes) was very accepting of her, and all of the students seemed to be as well. I think it was my junior year and she participated in Prom and other events, so I don't think the school placed any restrictions on her like the school in this article, but again, I have no idea what was said to her behind the scenes.

[penguingrrl]

This infuriates me. I understand the value that many place on abstinence until marriage, but you can't decry abortion then shun a woman who chose against aborting. That behavior is exactly what teaches a teen to secretly get an abortion, and often an unsafe one.

My HS had a few girls get pregnant over the years. They were in school until they gave birth, and returned after. There was no stigma or shame from the administration, and from what I understand they were helpful in ensuring you could continue your studies and graduate on time. Our teen pregnancy rate was seemingly low. We also got very comprehensive sex ed with a lot of emphasis on what birth control was available, where the nearest planned parenthood was and how to access contraception. There was an opt out form for those whose parents didn't want that taught, but I knew of one or two kids ever who were opted out. I'm sure there were a fair number of girls who got abortions as well, but I only knew of two.