Housing help please

[1confused1]

Hi everyone! A little backstory: separated since January, filed for divorce in February, 2 kids (he has visitation every other weekend), own a house together which is underwater.

STBX does not want to grant me a divorce because he wants the house. The kids and I are currently living in it and have been since we separated. I have been paying the mortgage, insurance, taxes, utility bills (not to mention childcare and he is not paying child support). He got fired from his job in May.

I want the house and can afford the house, which he can not. He wants the house or wants me to sell the house which would mean we both lose money.

The commissioner did say, back in April, that if I am able to refinance the house, he would consider letting me have it. I can't refinance unless we are divorced or my status is single (I have filed a motion for bifurcation, which STBX did not agree to, we go to court next week about it).

Has anyone been in this situation? Any thoughts or ideas?

Thanks everyone!

[doriswe]

Do you have an attorney? If yes, go talk to them. If not, get one. That's about all I can offer.

[explorer2001]

It depends on so much, when you bought the house, whose name is on the title, the deed, the mortgage, etc. If he contributed to the cost of the purchase (down payment or mortgage payments). Rules vary by state. Talk to an attorney.

In my case, ex couldn't afford the house, I could, ex wasn't on the deed, title or mortgage, I bought while we were engaged but before the wedding so it didn't get lumped in as community property. Because of the housing crash, there was no equity, so I didn't have to pay him out. Totally depends on the circumstances.

Good luck.

[prettyinpearls]

He's a dumbass for not wanting to wash his hands of a house that is underwater. He's likely doing this just to be a PITA...and not that he actually WANTS the house.

Like pp's said..get an attorney.

[roselis]

Definitely get an attorney.

XH and I bought our house when we were engaged. His name is on everything. We came to an agreement where I kept the house and the debt and he got out of it. I still need to go get his name off of everything.
Good luck.