Post by freezorburn on May 30, 2017 23:25:08 GMT -5
I'm so glad a few of you decided to come check this place out. I'm not harboring any illusions of this board competing with APTM as far as number of people or the pace of threads. Maybe it will just be a way to stay in touch for those who want an alternative. Or a backup, in case APTM melts down someday.
At the moment APTM is a very triggery place to me. I'm not comfortable there at all. It has a lot to do with the culture of the board that led to the exodus, as well as seeing all the pinned threads about getting a new admin/mod team in place. It just brings me back to all the personal stuff I was going through two years ago. It's not rational, but that's triggers for ya. Maybe it won't feel so triggery after the organization is all in place and they don't need to pin so much about it. I'll have to wait and see. But it's clear that I need to take a break from that place. It's not good for my healing to be brought back to a two-years-ago-place, every time that I log on. So I'm going to be quiet for a bit over there. Hopefully not forever, but I have to just take it as it comes.
Those of you who are here -- have you had a chance to look around? Do you see yourself checking in on a regular basis? Would it be worthwhile at all to have regular check-ins/threads, or just keep it random?
I just want to said sorry the whatever things happen on the other website is giving you a bad time. I think we just need to be patient and see how many people would like to enjoy here. But main while you should not feel bad or let your emotions putting you down not matter what. You need to stay focus and think about what is really important around you, don't let this thing making you worry when you have mire important things to be worry about. Think a bout your self and be happy because you son needs you the most. It he sees you having anxiety or sad he maybe react the same way and you don't want that. I think having a little distance from all this cause will be good, it will help you to stay more clear and after your mind is calm and you are sure of how you feel come back and try again. Hope the best for you and your son.
I don't blame you, I can see where that could trigger you. I'll be around more next week. We've been visiting family this week so I haven't been able to be on here as much.
I was already considering taking another internet forums break when everything went down at TCF so the timing for me seemed right to not join APTM. Like I've posted before, I needed a break from the pace. I realize NJCD was slow compared to times before or Parenting, but it was enough to keep me distracted from real life which isn't always a good thing. I could go either way if this board has regular check-ins or just random posts/threads.
I'm sorry APTM is triggering so much for you, but I'm glad you recognize it. Keep on keeping on! ETA clarity
Thanks everyone. It's funny that while I can recognize that the folks at APTM are trying to make the best of a bad situation, and have the best of the intentions, the whole enterprise still makes me uncomfortable. I have some weird triggers.
DGM you make a good point about the pace of the forums and the ability to be present in real life. I think I liked the fast-paced forum when I was BF, because BF was so, so boring. But now that DS is older, mobile, and demands constant vigilance, I can't be on my phone all the time. Internet addiction is a behavior that I do not want to model. It's hard enough limiting his screen time, and I want to show him that it's possible to live without a screen. I think checking in a couple times a day is plenty for me.
I think I liked the fast-paced forum when I was BF, because BF was so, so boring. But now that DS is older, mobile, and demands constant vigilance, I can't be on my phone all the time. Internet addiction is a behavior that I do not want to model. It's hard enough limiting his screen time, and I want to show him that it's possible to live without a screen. I think checking in a couple times a day is plenty for me.
This is so much of it for me. L has actually taken my phone or kindle paperwhite out of my hand and said "mommy, stop". :/
I do miss the big group but know in the long run, I'll be ok.
I had given up on reading many of the posts in the old group. Between feeling out of place in conversations more suited to 20-30 somethings and having missed parts of conversations carried from a thread I didn't read to a thread I was reading, it was getting hard to keep up.
Post by freezorburn on Jun 25, 2017 10:39:50 GMT -5
Yeah I was never really good at the swift-moving inside joke threads.
I think the threads that kept me coming back were the weekly check-ins, like crafting, going green, meal planning, TiT, KA, etc. i got some good ideas from those, as well as a nice informal accountability place.
Flame free confession? I hated the randoms threads mainly because they got so big so fast that they were hard to keep up with and people were posting things in there that really should have been a separate thread.
Post by freezorburn on Jun 25, 2017 11:55:34 GMT -5
I get that. I liked having a random place to post random stuff ... just to put something out there and get it out of my head. After a while I didn't trouble myself with following them.
Post by freezorburn on Jun 25, 2017 11:58:59 GMT -5
This gives me some ideas for this board, though. Maybe we can have a few threads based on the check-in topics that we liked? And just keep those going and see what happens? We don't even have to start new weekly threads if it doesn't suit us.
I like the idea of weekly or check-in threads but have to wonder if we're being ostriches that this site is going to last :/
ETA JUST KIDDING! I thought I was still on TCF bc I just responded to Pip's detergent question. I hadn't read the roll call thread yet. So yes, weekly or so check in threads sound good to me. I'll start us off with a toddler themed one...
I had given up on reading many of the posts in the old group. Between feeling out of place in conversations more suited to 20-30 somethings and having missed parts of conversations carried from a thread I didn't read to a thread I was reading, it was getting hard to keep up.
FFSC. I lurked over at the big group's place yesterday. Fun to see baby/kid pictures, but I know actually registering will send me back down the rabbit hole time suck.
I had given up on reading many of the posts in the old group. Between feeling out of place in conversations more suited to 20-30 somethings and having missed parts of conversations carried from a thread I didn't read to a thread I was reading, it was getting hard to keep up.
FFSC. I lurked over at the big group's place yesterday. Fun to see baby/kid pictures, but I know actually registering will send me back down the rabbit hole time suck.
I just went over there to check it out. I only checked out a couple threads but there's definitely a different feel between here and there. I think parking here is definitely more right for me.
FFSC. I lurked over at the big group's place yesterday. Fun to see baby/kid pictures, but I know actually registering will send me back down the rabbit hole time suck.
I just went over there to check it out. I only checked out a couple threads but there's definitely a different feel between here and there. I think parking here is definitely more right for me.
I lurked over there briefly, a couple of days ago, because I was curious if anyone knew about what had gone on at TCF this week and if there was any chatter about it. I didn't see anything, but also didn't feel like sifting through any long threads that might potentially mention it.
I did see a couple of threads about it in the main board, and it reinforces for me that this is a better place for me.
I do miss a few of the folks over there, but I prefer the peace and quiet and lack of drama here.SaveSave
Post by dramaphile on Jun 27, 2017 14:02:29 GMT -5
I'm mainly on the other board, but I plan on checking in once in a while here. Sometimes a little slower is nice
tl;dr is that two people who were mods at TCF (and mods at APTM) apparently tried to get Naria's attention by moving posts from boards to the private mod board. People freaked out, those mods have been removed from Global Mod status on APTM (and banned from TCF). It was obviously not a well thought-out move on their parts. No news on whether the threads will get moved back or not. Hopefully soon all the activity will be done and we can just hunker down in our own little corner.
Yeah I don't think the threads are going to be restored anytime soon. My impression is that Naria is having a difficult pregnancy, so much so that she can't look at a computer screen for more than a few moments at a time. And she has either banned or alienated all the mods so there is no one helping to run TCF anymore.
There was still a bit of activity on TCF until last week, but the recent shenanigans seems to have run off any stragglers.