Yet another thread where I shit on someone else's joy

[pistolshrimp]

Poof, don't want the details out there but I'm sure you can figure it out from the rest of the thread

[deanlicker78]

Your SO is an ass.

[Deleted]

Your SO needs to stand up to his friend. A weeklong, weekday bachelor party is overkill. And to expect everyone else to pay that much while he's there on his work's dime is shitty.

[Captain Catnip]

Fuck no I wouldn't keep quiet. You have plans already. It's weird the friend is planning his own party already. Honestly, if he's there for work, how is he going to enjoy it anyway? Sounds like a bad idea for the friend. Your SO is definitely being an asshole.

[pistolshrimp]

Jun 7, 2017 16:27:09 GMT -5 deanlicker78 said:

Your SO is an ass.

Haha, today I would agree with you on that.

[mcsangel2]

I would not be okay with this, not even a little bit. The groomzilla needs to be told that no one can make that trip and the wedding party should come up with something local for him.

[dropitlikeitshott]

I would be upset too. I am all for DH having a good time, but I would be hurt if he chose a week with friends over our already planned trip. However, we live a very crazy schedule so we don't get a lot of time together as is.

DH didn't do anything big and neither have any of his friends, so I might just not get it. Now BIL has the money and personality for something like that, but we could never pull it off. Our other unmarried friends are much more low key.

[jigsy]

The more these issues come up, the more I think your SO is the asshole, not necessarily his friends.

I mean, yeah, what a stupid "bachelor party" plan, but I feel like most rational, reasonable men would just say "sorry friend, I can't do that" BFF or no. I mean, I had no problem doing that to a friend who recently planned her bachelorette party Memorial day weekend giving us 3 weeks notice...love you girl, but no.

[Eagles]

Um, your SO sucks. There's no way in hell I'd be canceling our planned vacation. I also think bach parties have gotten completely out of hand with travel and shit. People expect too damn much.

[pistolshrimp]

Jun 7, 2017 16:29:18 GMT -5 Captain Catnip said:

Fuck no I wouldn't keep quiet. You have plans already. It's weird the friend is planning his own party already. Honestly, if he's there for work, how is he going to enjoy it anyway? Sounds like a bad idea for the friend. Your SO is definitely being an asshole.

The whole thing is weird and everyone has said it is weird, yet no one will say anything to the groom. 

The work thing is only kind of work-related, it's more of a hobby but he convinced his boss to send him to it. The rest of the guys will have to pay to attend with him.

[mac08]

I'd be more than kind of upset.  Yes, this bachelor party seems like total overkill, but the bigger issue is that he just decided to cancel your vacation without even discussing it with you. It would be one thing if he asked what you thought and you came up with a compromise together, but to just unilaterally decide that his BFF's bachelor party is more important than your previously scheduled vacation is really shitty.

[Chiquitita]

Its not about you being pissy its about your SO putting everyone else first. Take a friend and go on vacation ... it's not important to him to go with you so go with someone else.

[Aloe Vera]

WTF? His friend is an idiot and your SO is an ass.
Why can't the friend stay in Vegas for the weekend and have his wedding party join him? How is he going to enjoy his party for a week if he is there for work? Sounds like a bad idea.

[Deleted]

[eb777888]

Are you fucking kidding me?? Your SO is the problem here. Fuck that! Why do you put up with that?

[W.T.Faulkner]

Your SO's friend is an asshole, and your SO needs to not also be an asshole.

[1confused1]

Jun 7, 2017 16:32:55 GMT -5 mac08 said:

I'd be more than kind of upset.  Yes, this bachelor party seems like total overkill, but the bigger issue is that he just decided to cancel your vacation without even discussing it with you. It would be one thing if he asked what you thought and you came up with a compromise together, but to just unilaterally decide that his BFF's bachelor party is more important than your previously scheduled vacation is really shitty.

Agreed!  Don't put up with this, talk to him to find some compromise.  No one needs to spend a week in Vegas for a bachelor party.

[Aloe Vera]

And he is giving away YOUR vacation plans to his family?
He doesn't value you at all. Why are you still with him? Go on vacation with one of your friends ditch him.

[panicfoot]

Noooooo, girl. No. He says no to his friend because you guys already have a trip planned. His friend is an asshole. He can extend his stay a few days and your SO can give him the long weekend consolation.

And if not, I would not be cancelling my vacation. I would offer it to my friend but he wouldn't get to give away my vacation.

[Deleted]

Why do you stay with someone who treats you this way? Your H is a complete ass, once again.

[pistolshrimp]

Jun 7, 2017 16:37:30 GMT -5 Aloe Vera said:

And he is giving away YOUR vacation plans to his family?
He doesn't value you at all. Why are you still with him? Go on vacation with one of your friends ditch him.

I think he sees it as we have the $$$ for him to go, we are together all the time, and we have no real responsibilities (i.e. kids) so he doesn't think it's a big deal. Usually I would agree with him, but this is our one vacation all year. And we only went away for a long weekend last year.

[pistolshrimp]

Jun 7, 2017 16:38:18 GMT -5 @bigtowlittletoe said:

Why do you stay with someone who treats you this way? Your H is a complete ass, once again.

I promise, this only happens with weddings

[So_Fetch]

Jun 7, 2017 16:33:39 GMT -5 Chiquitita said:

Its not about you being pissy its about your SO putting everyone else first. Take a friend and go on vacation ... it's not important to him to go with you so go with someone else.

I'm here.  Except I think you should take a new SO.  But seriously - go on vacation without him and have fun. 

[suzyp]

Jun 7, 2017 16:39:55 GMT -5 pistolshrimp said:

Jun 7, 2017 16:37:30 GMT -5 Aloe Vera said:

And he is giving away YOUR vacation plans to his family?
He doesn't value you at all. Why are you still with him? Go on vacation with one of your friends ditch him.

I think he sees it as we have the $$$ for him to go, we are together all the time, and we have no real responsibilities (i.e. kids) so he doesn't think it's a big deal. Usually I would agree with him, but this is our one vacation all year. And we only went away for a long weekend last year.

Listen, DH and I are married, have no kids and are together all the time.  But it would be a cold day in hell that he would cancel OUR VACATION for some B party in Vegas that is during the week so the groom could go for free.

Your SO is an asshole.  The idea that he would even think to do this would tell me a lot about how he feels about me, spending time with me and our relationship.  I'm angry for you.

[Deleted]

Jun 7, 2017 16:40:51 GMT -5 pistolshrimp said:

Jun 7, 2017 16:38:18 GMT -5 @bigtowlittletoe said:

Why do you stay with someone who treats you this way? Your H is a complete ass, once again.

I promise, this only happens with weddings

I don't believe you.

[So_Fetch]

What's the deal with weddings? Do his friends not like you? Are you guys cool any other time to do stuff with his friends? Why can't SO communicate with his friends to find out if you're invited to weddings? I'm very "huh?" about all of this.

[daisyfay25]

Dump him.

[cupcake0214]

I can't believe you husband would cancel a vacation with you to go to his BFF bachelor party. I would be pissed and say something.

[litskispeciality]

Yeah so as everyone else said, your SO is an a$$ and so is groomzilla. Pre-paid Vegas trip or not he can't expect the world to cater to a week long trip regardless of their profession (although I hope the teacher gave him a firm "yeah right bro"). And this guy either has no work responsibilities or he's in for a disappointing trip when he can't stay out until 4am every night beacause he has to work the next day.

I'm more upset with SO for assuming he can go and give away your vacation without even asking you. I don't care if you spend every day together it's your vacation too! He needs to say to the groom "no we have plans but thanks, if the date changes let me know." And giving away YOUR vacation plans to his family without asking you...again, no.

[4speedy]

So he didn't even offer the previously planned vacation to you and some girlfriends? He just gave it away to his family and informed you of it later? You are SO far down on his list of considerations.