Friday randoms - how different are you at home vs. at work?

[traveltheworld]

My neighbor post got me thinking - how different are you at work vs. at home? I'm a completely different person. At work, I'm confident, aggressive (not in a mean way, but in a "let's get sh*t done" kind of way) and hard-working. I did large-scale M&A, lead teams of lawyers, and had a reputation of being a hard negotiator. But outside of work, I'm like a little mouse. I can't stand any type of confrontation or social unpleasantness. Any time there is any type of conflict, I make DH handle it. If he is not around, I generally just roll over. I'm also incredibly lazy at home - as in, can't get up from the couch to go get a snack level lazy.

What about you?

[2chatter]

I have a hard time switching modes from work to home sometimes. Case in point - things like PTA where people commit to do things and then don't and it's a mess, or people behave badly and there aren't even wrist slaps or where being right doesn't matter at all -- I just struggle. I'm pretty black and white at work and at home.

2/3 kids made spreadsheets by age 4. The slacker prefers sticker charts and invented Harvey Balls all on his own.

I sometimes feel like I suck at being human. Colleagues changed my signature one day to include "robots don't cry" because everyone knows not to come crying to me - I will ask about project status. It's all in jest and these are the actual work friends, but it's also on the nose.

Then...my directs know I am a total supporter - flex schedule (more than I get, even), project swaps to align personalities and preferences, don't make them use vaca time for things like "take my mom to the hospital". My kids know when and how I am a sucker too and know better than to whine or beg - if you want something - be calm and rational. Unless you want me to tell you no.

[mommyatty]

Super different. At work I'm a hard-ass. I'm a pretty high ranking woman in an uber masculine industry, so I never back down from a confrontation. I'm organized and efficient and I have zero patience for people who can't keep up with me. I speak up a lot in meetings, even if I'm telling the truth to people who don't want to hear it. So, everyone at work would assume I'm an extrovert, hard core. Nothing could be further from the truth. At home, I'm introverted, and my husband and kids are the center of my universe. My house is always a mess with clutter everywhere, I'm crazy-sentimental, and I love being silly (family dance parties, noodle-slurping contests at dinner, making slime with the kids).

My H says he can literally tell from the next room whether I'm emailing/texting work vs family or friends just by my body language and facial expressions.

[mommyatty]

2chatter- my daughter makes me calendar breakfast meetings. Lol. She's FOUR. "Mommy, there are several things we need to discuss without the boys interrupting us. Can we calendar a breakfast meeting for Thursday and get up early?" Not that she's heard me on the phone for work a lot...

[traveltheworld]

mommyatty, I think our environments have forced us to put on this hard shell. My DH used to work for a quasi-regulator that dealt a lot with my firm, and apparently everyone had the "oh, your wife is traveltheworld?!?!" and the most sympathetic look on their faces upon finding out who his wife is. Apparently his boss and his boss's boss were also scared of me. DH joked that he didn't get it, until he overheard me on a conference call one time and apparently I sounded extremely cutting and in his words, "is the kind of person that eats small bunnies for breakfast".

[twinmomma]

At work I'm organized, assertive, and usually not afraid to speak up. I will come up with a plan and make it happen. I'm known for getting shit done. I'm also told that I'm approachable and friendly and people generally just enjoy working with me.

At home, I'm also the one to take charge, make plans, and keep us organized on a mental level. Physically, I'm a hot mess and a slob at home. I leave clutter everywhere. Despite my organizational skills at home, my emotions get in the way a lot. I have OCD/anxiety issues and I keep them locked down at work, so they tend to bubble up at home. I can be super emotional/irrational when my plans don't go the way I thought at home, whereas at work I just figure out how to pivot and make it happen. It's like it all needs an outlet, and I can't be unprofessional at work, so home gets it.

[yummmy]

I am the exact opposite of most of you!
I am crazy laid back and lazy at work. I get my work done and apparently come off as doing a good job because I keep getting promoted but I hate how I am at work. I wear Jeans and Hoodies most days, an exhausted, have fallen asleep at my desk, do no extra work, am super quiet in meetings, take crap, and just roll with it.
At home I am on 100% of the time. I am the planner, scheduler, bill payer, negotiator between DH and DS, cook, house keeper, nurse, driver, organizer, handy man, you name it I do it at home, I am the one to get my DH up and to do house projects. I plan our weekend with fun activities. I keep our son eating meals. I call any contractors we need. I do it all! DH is autistic and can't mentally handle to do a lot of these things without someone scheduling everything. It really is like I have two toddlers at home. I think thats why I am so lazy at work because I just can't handle to be on all the time, so work is my break!

[k3am]

I'm about the same at work and at home. I probably have more patience and am more willing to put on a nice front at work than at home.

[erinshelley21]

I really don't think I'm any different at home or at work but I think that's because I have such strong emotional ties to this business and I work with my brother. I definitely put more effort into my home life, but other than that I act the same. Both look about the same with what I like to call "organized clutter" with things in places that only I know about.

[billie]

I'm traveltheworld 's twin. At work I'm super thick skinned and tough because working in a newsroom is not for the faint of heart. But I don't like confrontation in my personal life and usually make DH handle it.

I'm also very easy-going outside of work - when things go wrong or don't go my way I don't stress. Probably because stressing over the fact that things aren't perfect is what I do all day at work lol

[ilovelucyvv]

I'm a pretty organized and responsible person at work and at home. At work I feel more free to be assertive than I do at home. At home I pretend that H is the boss sometimes by giving him little wins.

[librarychica]

I am pretty similar at both home and work. I am a little more restrained at work with my non-work conversation and whatnot. I work in a formal environment and am comfortable there -- I don't really want to get too comfy with most my coworkers anyhow.

[l504]

Oddly, I find I can articulate myself better at work, but yet when I'm talking to people close to me, I'm all over the place and end the conversation with "you know what I mean". DH heard me speak at a non-work event, but one that I had to be the facilitator, and he even made the comment that he had never seen that side of me. At home, meh, it's chaotic and I've exhausted all mental power that I have. I'm pretty regulated in my 8-5 and at home things are a free for all.

[supertrooper1]

I'm very different at work than at home. At work, I have to be "on" all the time. I bark orders and interrogate people as part of my job. I can't hesitate to physically jump in when the shit hits the fan and I may have to use some type of force, whether it's to grab someone's arm or draw down on someone that may be armed and dangerous. I know my job very well and am the one that people come to when they need help with a section of law they're trying to enforce. I'm friendly and social with my coworkers. I'm also very organized and on top of things.

At home, I'm very quiet and lazy. My house is disorganized and cluttered. My evenings are usually watching tv, surfing the internet and spending time with DS. DH ends up doing a lot of chores around the house because I don't do them up to his standards. I went to DH's work bbq the other day, and people probably thought I was either a bitch or really shy because I hardly talked to anyone. I just froze and felt very socially inept. Part of that is that I don't feel like I know how to small talk with people anymore and interact like someone not in law enforcement.

[HeartofCheese]

I'm 70% the same (introvert, a little messy, not overly organized, I talk to everyone the same way whether boss or repairman or my mom). The only real difference is that I'm the boss at home, but at work - I just have never found my footing to feel confident leading anyone. MH, however, is 70% different. He's very responsible, diligent, driven at work, leads even the leaders (he's just an immutable force); but at home he's more laid back. He likes to pretend he's the boss, but no one believes it. And I'm probably a little overbearing b/c I'm compensating for feeling unimportant at work. :\

[nellgirl]

Jun 23, 2017 11:46:24 GMT -5 traveltheworld said:

My neighbor post got me thinking - how different are you at work vs. at home? I'm a completely different person. At work, I'm confident, aggressive (not in a mean way, but in a "let's get sh*t done" kind of way) and hard-working. I did large-scale M&A, lead teams of lawyers, and had a reputation of being a hard negotiator. But outside of work, I'm like a little mouse. I can't stand any type of confrontation or social unpleasantness. Any time there is any type of conflict, I make DH handle it. If he is not around, I generally just roll over. I'm also incredibly lazy at home - as in, can't get up from the couch to go get a snack level lazy.

What about you?

That sounds a whole lot like me. I'm also waaaaaaaaay more organized at work.
My work bff knows my ugly truth, but I've hidden it from everyone else.

[freezorburn]

These days I'm very different. At work I've always been very organized and professional. That's pretty much always been the case no matter what kind of place I've been working. I've always felt that has to do with the workplace being set up to function for very specific tasks, so it doesn't have all the distractions that are present at home.

I'm pretty much a slob at home. I don't mean to be, but my personal life has been in chaos the last few years and something had to give. So I just do what I can every day to keep DS and myself healthy and the rest I tackle here and there when I have time and energy. There were a few years pre-baby when I was able to keep the house neat and clean and I actually felt like a grownup when I arrived home at the end of a day at work. So, I know I have it in me to have a more organized home, but it takes work and I'm just not there right now.

[sandandsea]

I'm way more on it at work. More prioritized, organized, and "on" all the time. At home I procrastinate a little more and am way more adventurous. I'm also more put together at work and WAY more casual at home.

[justcheckingin73]

In some ways, I'm the same. I tend to procrastinate on projects that I don't want to do or have never done before (fear of failure, I guess), I'd rather "play" than work, I'm organized. At work, I tend to defer to everyone else - I think everyone else knows better than I or has the answer. I also tend to be an ask for permission person, rather than apologize later. At home, I'm more of a take charge person and just get shit done, except when I'm procrastinating. I'm much more confident at home.

[xctsclrx]

At home I am the organizer and the boss. I am this way because DH has been working so much lately that he really can't handle a lot of decision making out the house. The plus side is that he recognizes that so as long as I am not making really big decisions he doesn't care what I do and is willing to help. I just give him the plan.

At Work: It really depends on my boss at the time. If I don't have a lot a faith in my boss then I am more take charge and do what needs to be done. I like to be in charge. My first boss at my current job sucked. I did his job for him, because I had to. My current boss however is very good at his job. I trust him and have no issues following his lead. His boss however not so much. Luckily I have the buffer between us.

[mellym]

For the most part I'm the same. I'm type A so I'm very organized and always the planner at work and at home with family and friends (we're going on vacation? mellym will plan it for us...). I tend to take charge of most situations and get things done.  It's hard for me to turn that part of my personality off even when I get home so our social lives are typically pretty busy. DH is very assertive and the boss at work and then he defers to me at home.  Probably because he knows that he can?  I'm much more nurturing, loving and silly at home. I don't feel like I can let my guard down at work or don't let people in since I'm supposed to be the leader and it's hard being one of the few women in leadership here.