NWPR-Teaching kids to be safe

[frozenpeas]

My kids are 5 & 3 1/2. I'm struggling with how to teach them the basic safety/what to do if you're lost/don't talk to strangers/etc. stuff I remember just knowing as a little kid. I think they would respond well to books or shows, and then I can tie back examples from situations in our everyday lives. Do you have any tv or book recommendations, or even just advice on what they should know and how to teach them? I have booksmart kids but I feel like I'm way behind on teaching them street smarts.

[kimberlybb]

Mu kids are similar ages. I don’t have any book recommendations but we have also recently started talking to the kids about this. I read somewhere to not tell kids not to talk to strangers because they need to if they need help at some point. They suggested instead referring to them as “tricky people”. We have talked about tricky people with the kids and how one sign of a tricky person is an adult that you don’t know asking you for help. Safe adults ask other adults for help. When we are out and about I have told both the kids to look for a mommy with kids if they get separated from me. This may not be the best solution but I thought they would have an easier time identifying a mom than a store employee. I would be interested to hear if someone has some good book recommendations. I need to talk to the kids more about this and good resources would definitely help!

[twinmomma]

Ugh, I'm right there with you. My kids have zero street smarts. They're super friendly and trusting and it freaks me out. We've been trying to just get them to stop running up to dogs they see and don't know, nevermind people... So I have no insight, but am actively following!

[sandandsea]

Winnie the Pooh too smart for strangers is really good. I watched it as a kid and have shown ds too. Basically it goes through say no, Run away, find a grown up friend to tell. He enjoyed it.
We also practice fire drills at home after he had one at school.

[NandaB]

I love teaching the conceptof of 'tricky people' as opposed to stranger danger, necause most strangers arw good helpful people and if my kids get lost i want them to feel like they can ask a grown up for help. I think there is actually a website.

One point that i think is so important to explicitly teach is that a grown up will never ask a kid for help. So if someone you dont know asks you to help find a lost pet or help a sick person they are likely a 'tricky person'

[frozenpeas]

Jul 10, 2017 8:39:14 GMT -5 twinmomma said:

Ugh, I'm right there with you. My kids have zero street smarts. They're super friendly and trusting and it freaks me out. We've been trying to just get them to stop running up to dogs they see and don't know, nevermind people... So I have no insight, but am actively following!

Yes, the dogs! We have a very dog-friendly neighborhood & my kids love dogs but used to be afraid of them. Now, they have finally worked up the nerve to pet them when the owners say it's ok and I've found my H & I praising them for it. Then I think, what have we done?

It's actually the same with strangers. The kids are shy so we have to remind them it's ok to say hello. Now they are all proud when they do and again I think, uh oh.

We've tried to stress, with both strangers & dogs, it's only ok to interact with them if mommy & daddy are there. But now I kind of wish we would have just let them remain terrified of both.

[NandaB]

Heres the site safelyeverafter.com/index.html

[frozenpeas]

Jul 10, 2017 8:51:26 GMT -5 NandaB said:

Heres the site safelyeverafter.com/index.html

Thanks so much--I will take a look!

[NandaB]

Jul 10, 2017 8:37:13 GMT -5 kimberlybb said:

Mu kids are similar ages. I don’t have any book recommendations but we have also recently started talking to the kids about this. I read somewhere to not tell kids not to talk to strangers because they need to if they need help at some point. They suggested instead referring to them as “tricky people”. We have talked about tricky people with the kids and how one sign of a tricky person is an adult that you don’t know asking you for help. Safe adults ask other adults for help. When we are out and about I have told both the kids to look for a mommy with kids if they get separated from me. This may not be the best solution but I thought they would have an easier time identifying a mom than a store employee. I would be interested to hear if someone has some good book recommendations. I need to talk to the kids more about this and good resources would definitely help!

Derp. Or what she said, lol

I also used to tell my kids to look for a mommy if they get lost (at the zoo, theme park, etc) i figured a mom is easier to spot and more 'friendly' looking than an employee. Now that my oldest is 6 i have started saying to look for a peraon who works there and then i try to point out an employee and what theyre wearing. My 4 yr old will usually remind me 'or a mommy'

[mellym]

I was just watching a You Tube video of abduction experiments on the playground and it was terrifying. The guy had a dog and asked the parent first if he could try talking to their kid and see if the kid would go with him to his car. Every single child got excited to pet the dog and then walked hand in hand with the guy to his car to "see the other puppies".

Before I watched it, I had asked DD1 (5) what she would do if someone came up to her at the park and asked her if she wanted some candy. She said that she would come ask me which made me feel better about our stranger talks. It's probably more to do with the fact that she has a food allergy so she always asks me first before eating anything. She was then watching the video with me and her eyes were SO big - no, you don't know that guy! I really like the idea of calling them tricky people instead of strangers because you're right, we're always saying hello to strangers to be friendly and we help people out.

[frozenpeas]

Jul 10, 2017 8:40:23 GMT -5 sandandsea said:

Winnie the Pooh too smart for strangers is really good. I watched it as a kid and have shown ds too. Basically it goes through say no, Run away, find a grown up friend to tell. He enjoyed it.
We also practice fire drills at home after he had one at school.

Looks like it's on YouTube!

Fire drills at home are a great idea. I know they have them at school so it makes sense to practice at home, too. I was also thinking about how "stop drop & roll" was burned into my brain. My kids would have no clue what I meant if I said that to them today.

[frozenpeas]

Oh my gosh, mellym. That's the sort of thing that makes me want to bury my head back under the covers. Denial is so much easier.

[hocus2]

Have you read protecting the gift? It focuses more on older children but has some relevant stuff for younger children.

Aside from practical considerations like teaching them a cell number (or having it in their shoe) a lot of the book talks about learning to trust your instinct about folks and NOT suppressing this in children. Some of his more basic suggestions are about not forcing hugging or any sort of physical contact if the child doesn't want to do it and teaching them about asking for permission to do something (e.g. can I go see this guys dog) vs. having blanket don't go with strangers which has been proven ineffective.

[2chatter]

My kids are super action oriented. So we role play things. Common: an adult you don't know approaches you while you walk home (run home).

An adult you know asks you to go somewhere with them alone (get a buddy)

You are lost when we are out together (ask a policeman, security guard, lifeguard, employee at the location for help - do not walk around - go directly for help).

My kids have actually done these things - so it on some level works. I need to show DS a movie or something too though.

[mellym]

Ugh I feel like I have so much work to do. We haven't done fire drills or talked about what to do if you're lost.

[covergirl82]

When my kids were about that age, we took them to our police department for a kids safety class. They told the kids about "tricky" people and "safe side" people. It was an interactive video done by the guy who does America's Most Wanted (his name escapes me at the moment). As others have mentioned, a tricky person will ask a child to go somewhere with them alone, and say it was ok with mom/dad.

We started telling the kids around age 3-4 if they got separated from us, they needed to first look for an employee (if we were at a store) - someone behind a cash register who had a name badge on, or a mom with little kids, or a police officer or security guard.

I'll be honest that fear works for my kids. We took them to Magic Kingdom for one day when they were 3 and 4.5, and told them multiple times the few weeks before we went that there are bad people in the world (this was before we learned the term "tricky") and they must sit in the stroller or walk right next to us, preferably holding our hand, the whole time we were there. If they ran off, they would lose out on getting a toy or treat or whatever. It worked well. We met my cousin and her son there, and it was interesting when my cousin's almost 3 year old son (although he looked 4 at least because he was tall) ran off multiple times, both my kids knew it was "wrong" according to what DH and I had instructed them.

DS will be 8 next week, and I still will not let him go in the men's restroom alone (if DH is not with us). Too many tricky people out there.

[saraml13]

DS1 is still a little young for this (3 in October). Despite headlines, true stranger abduction (as opposed to a child running away and getting lost or a custody dispute) or very very rare. I agree that video with the stranger with the dog was disturbing, but I am curious how many attempts he made where the child didn't go with him that didn't make the final video.

As others have said, I don't push "stranger danger" because the odds of my child getting lost and needing help from a stranger are much higher than someone trying to kidnap him. Right now, I'm focusing on the concept of people who are "helpers", so we talk a lot about how police and fire fighters are there to help people. I've started mentioning that if mommy and daddy aren't with him and he needs help, a firefighter or police officer can help him. (We're fortunate to live in a low crime area where the local police force is very community focused on visible / approachable on bikes, etc.). I plan to start expanding the list of grownups who are good to ask for help to include employees or moms with kids.

Another concept I like is to start distinguishing a surprise from a secret. So it's ok for a grownup to ask a child to keep something a surprise (e.g. a birthday present) for a period time, but it's not ok for someone to ask them to keep a secret forever (e.g. don't tell mommy that we did X).

[akafred]

We do the same as above with tricky people, role playing, emphasizing do not go off with strangers vs do not talk to strangers.

I just wanted to say that Joey Salads video was a publicity stunt and nothing more. He's despicable.

[sdlaura]

I'm also glad you asked this because my kids are similar ages and I was thinking about how we need to talk about some of this stuff before DD goes to K in the fall.

I also totally agree with saraml13 that I'm really more concerned about the kids getting lost and needing help rather than someone trying to abduct them. But then again...there's an old man who works with DH whose child was abducted (I think back in the 70s?) and never found. I can't possibly imagine....so I do want to do some talking about it, definitely.

[186momx]

Lets see DD dis Safety Town last summer. It is a 2 week camp put on by the police department that is for incoming K students. She learned a lot and it really stuck. The school district did a 6 week safety curriculum so the incorporated strangers, fire, personal touch, etc. last year. We also have community safety fair twice a year. Fall is geared towards fire/police and spring is geared towards everything else. www.youtube.com/watch?v=YmlqKN6iRRQ&feature=youtu.be this is the video of what they learned last year at the camp. My BFF in Colorado said their park and rec run a family safety class that is a couple hours on a Saturday but it isn't anything as in-depth as the camp DD went to.

Something I learned at safety camp was that lots of kids find public safety workers scary and will hide and avoid them because they look different. We see our local firefighters in the grocery store all the time and I've started trying to get DD to go up and tell them hi. She always points them out but then pulls the they are strangers when I ask her to go talk to them so we talk about why it is okay to talk to them but to not talk to the old guy in the checkout line and ask him why he has no veggies.

[frozenpeas]

186momx, I volunteered at something like the Safety Town you describe when I was a teenager. I actually sourced a lot of good babysitting jobs from there! I've looked for something similar in our current city but I've had no luck finding anything. It's really too bad because that was a fantastic program and covered a lot of topics.

[186momx]

frozenpeas, DD has already asked me if she can be a safety town counselor when she gets old enough.

[campermom]

I'm a big fan of this book and referring to "Tricky People."

We remind them at the campground that they are never to go into anyone's camper unless they check in with us.

Giving them a script at local sports places, playgrounds etc. "I don't know, I have to check in with my parents."

www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0971517800/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1499725334&sr=8-1&pi=AC_SX236_SY340_QL65&keywords=kid+power+safety+comics&dpPl=1&dpID=51tcDc1ukQL&ref=plSrch

Also anytime the smoke detector goes off we do a drill. (Unless they are in the shower or something and then we say it's ok) It's a pain but they know what to do and where to go.