DC/Development Question

[xctsclrx]

My DS is turning 3 in November. Lately he has been very concerned with getting in trouble. If I tell him no or tell him to stop doing something he always asked if he is in trouble. If DH or I call for our older boys or get on to anyone he says they are in trouble even if they are not.

Is this normal or should I be concerned about his daycare? I feel like he thinks he is always in trouble and it is actually very rare for him to be in trouble. He hasn't even been to time out in weeks.

What really caught my attention is that last week he started asking his brother if he wanted a spanking when he wasn't listening. We have never spanked him or threaten spanking when he is in trouble. I think he may have gotten that from my MIL, but I don't know and he can't tell me.

We do play booty bongos where we gently play drums on the booty in a playful manner, but that is the closest he has come to spanking. 

I trust my DH explicitly about him not spanking DS. He has even more patience with our son than I do, and while he is not opposed to spanking he does agree that DS is too young and he respects my wishes on it. 

DS has not been left with anyone other than daycare and my in laws in months. 


I am probably overthinking this, but if you read thank you.

[waverly]

Sounds normal to me. My kids talk about being in trouble. They don't talk much about spanking but your kids definitely could have heard that somewhere, so still seems in the realm of normal.

[akafred]

He's probably picking stuff up from the other kids. Maybe ask him what happens if someone is "in trouble" or what does a spamming mean and who does he know who gets them.

[xctsclrx]

waverly, that makes me feel better. He is in a new classroom at DC and this is new behavior, but also makes sense that is a new thing developmentally. Cause and affect.

[xctsclrx]

akafred, I tried that asking where he heard that from, but I like the way you phrased it better. I might get a better response that way. Thanks!

[186momx]

I would also bring it up with his DC teacher. There may be someone in his room that is getting in trouble a lot for who knows what.

[2chatter]

I would consider asking other parents if you can. That's how I found out at our first day care that one of the teachers was indeed telling the kids she would "whoop them", among other things.

[mommyatty]

My kids both went through this phase. A few weeks ago, DS told me he wished I wouldn't spank him so much. What? We don't spank. I asked him what a spanking was and he said "When you call me (my full name) and use a mad voice and make me cry." So to him, any time we correct him, we are "spanking".

[sudokufan]

That was the age I started getting daily reports on time outs from DS--how many he had, who else had them, why, etc. Often times I'd ask the teacher about one of DS's timeouts, and they'd say he hadn't gotten any at all that day but someone else had and he was claiming it as his own. I learned to take it all with a huge grain of salt. I'd ask the DC teacher to give you a picture, but wouldn't worry too much.

[mellym]

Sounds normal to me. My almost three year old has just started telling her older sister that she's naughty, mean, bad and I don't like you.

[saraml13]

DS1 will be 3 in October. Just lately he has started being much more tuned into pleasing or displeasing adults. So if he does something wrong, he'll keep asking afterwards "Mommy, you not happy?". And for even very minor offenses, he'll cover his ears like he's going to get yelled at, even though we're not yellers. So I think being hung about on getting in trouble is just part of this age where they are getting more tuned into the the feelings of adults.

[kbw]

I would say it's normal for this age. dS often repeated what ever anyone else said.

[xctsclrx]

Thank you guys so much! I don't have a lot of mom friends in real life so you guys give me the sanity check I need.

[sweetptater]

My kids went through a phase like that. DS would immediately start bawling and go running to his room every time you told him to stop doing something.

[xctsclrx]

mommyatty, That's funny. It's amazing how little kids can put things together in the oddest ways.

2chatter, What did you do when you found out? I would have been livid.

[2chatter]

xctsclrx - I escalated to the center manager and they sent that teacher to classes. We were a couple months from moving away, so it was easier to swallow. It was a good group of parents (three families) that monitored and alerted each other to issues after that came out. It was helpful!