s/o women bullying at work- Today's AAM update.

[stephm0188]

www.askamanager.org/2017/08/update-is-the-work-environment-ive-created-on-my-team-too-exclusive.html

"Remember the letter-writer last week whose employee had quit and said in her exit interview that the team environment was too cliquish? She ended up adding more details in the comments on the original post, including that some employees had been mocking the employee who quit on SnapChat, and when someone complained to HR, the letter-writer wanted to move the person who complained to another team."

The letter writer is doubling down. "My former team and I are wondering if we can take action against ex-employee — her exit interview damaged our reputation, our team, and our careers."

[Nightlight]

My team found her quietness and her ability to develop sales presentations and connect with each client was very show-off-like. When she asked for help, we didn’t take it seriously because we thought she acted like she knew everything and she was making us look bad by always going above and beyond for no reason. 

Omg, how is this letter real?  How up your own rear do you have to be to write a letter like this?

[aurora]

It's all bad, but a special OMG to this BS:

"I also thought that her years of experience were irrelevant; she didn’t have anything beyond a bachelor’s degree (most of us were smart and dedicated enough to get a masters)..."

[noodleoo]

WOW. I read the original letter and the culture she describes is basically what the culture was on the team that I quit after having DD. What she says about not being a "cultural fit" hit hard for me. I wish my old boss would have been fired for being the awful manager she was. Although really, the issues were fairly company wide in my experience.

[mcsangel2]

I read allllll the comments this afternoon. Allison did say she can never be 100% sure if a letter is legit, but she had back and forth with the LW after this update (which is included) that made her think it was more likely than not real.

The LW did respond twice way down in the comments that I saw. She admitted to herself finally that she had been jealous of the ex employee. She said in another comment that she was seeking a therapist and a professional coach to help her work through her issues.

If the LW is 28 and has been there almost 5 years, that means it's her first job out of college. All I can say is, if I'm ever in a position to hire, after reading this letter and follow up, you can be damned sure I'd never hire a 23 year old with no previous experience to be a manager of a team.

[halfpint]

If it's real, there's a statement in her letter that makes me feel like she may have been targeting a minority employee - "hired to fill a role for a growing segment of our business". I could be reading too much into that. She sounds like seriously the worst person ever.

[sparkythelawyer]

Sweet Jesus what a toolbag.

[NitaX]

The Brewery Run thing made me tilt my head. I've worked for a team that did fun stuff like go to the movies or lunch, but never once did that include alcohol because I can't really think of a whole lot of folks that are ok with employees drinking during work hours. 

[mich1]

Aug 3, 2017 11:16:33 GMT -5 NitaX said:

The Brewery Run thing made me tilt my head. I've worked for a team that did fun stuff like go to the movies or lunch, but never once did that include alcohol because I can't really think of a whole lot of folks that are ok with employees drinking during work hours. 

This is where I'm at.  Once upon a time (back in the 1980s) someone in the lab would do a beer run on Friday afternoon and we'd drink ONE beer in the lab (that doesn't happen anymore either) while finishing up paperwork.  

But in the last 25 years, or me even having alcohol on your person is a fireable offense and no one would think about drinking at lunch.

[rouquinette]

The entire letter has me raising my eyebrows. She felt threatened, and instead of using her star employee's performance as motivation to step up her game, she did everything she could to get her to leave. Now she's surprised that upper management has 'fixed' the problem by firing her and her entire team?

I have a coworker like the LW. The difference is that my manager sees it for what it is and puts a stop to it.

[KB]

I'm actually surprised that they fired her and the team. Most places I've worked, including my current employer, wouldn't be that proactive.

[2curlydogs]

Aug 3, 2017 11:31:25 GMT -5 mich1 said:

Aug 3, 2017 11:16:33 GMT -5 NitaX said:

The Brewery Run thing made me tilt my head. I've worked for a team that did fun stuff like go to the movies or lunch, but never once did that include alcohol because I can't really think of a whole lot of folks that are ok with employees drinking during work hours. 

This is where I'm at.  Once upon a time (back in the 1980s) someone in the lab would do a beer run on Friday afternoon and we'd drink ONE beer in the lab (that doesn't happen anymore either) while finishing up paperwork.  

But in the last 25 years, or me even having alcohol on your person is a fireable offense and no one would think about drinking at lunch.

My last two employers kept free alcohol on premise. Drinking was part of company culture.

[lightbulbsun]

I feel so sorry for the woman who had to endure that treatment. It sounds like she was an amazing employee, and her manager resented her for being successful. I hope she got a great new job where she's treated with the respect that she deserves.

I hope the manager is never put in a management position again.

[mcsangel2]

Aug 3, 2017 12:18:42 GMT -5 KB said:

I'm actually surprised that they fired her and the team. Most places I've worked, including my current employer, wouldn't be that proactive.

The loss of the targeted employee and actions of this former manager cost the business money, loss of clients, and loss of standing in the industry. Sounded like the company was suddenly hemorrhaging money. I'm not surprised they were fired.

[snshne322]

Assuming the letter is true, she admitted to directly going against what upper management wanted for this employee on more than one occasion. That alone I should think would have serious consequences, especially if the employee quit.

I don't want to touch the because she doesn't have SnapChat how is it harmful bullshit.

[juliej]

Aug 3, 2017 11:31:25 GMT -5 mich1 said:

Aug 3, 2017 11:16:33 GMT -5 NitaX said:

The Brewery Run thing made me tilt my head. I've worked for a team that did fun stuff like go to the movies or lunch, but never once did that include alcohol because I can't really think of a whole lot of folks that are ok with employees drinking during work hours. 

This is where I'm at.  Once upon a time (back in the 1980s) someone in the lab would do a beer run on Friday afternoon and we'd drink ONE beer in the lab (that doesn't happen anymore either) while finishing up paperwork.  

But in the last 25 years, or me even having alcohol on your person is a fireable offense and no one would think about drinking at lunch.

I've had employers buy me drinks at lunch, so I've obviously worked in places where it's appropriate. But a group doing it regularly and noticeably excluding the same person each time is a big problem.

[halfpint]

Aug 3, 2017 12:25:56 GMT -5 2curlydogs said:

Aug 3, 2017 11:31:25 GMT -5 mich1 said:

This is where I'm at.  Once upon a time (back in the 1980s) someone in the lab would do a beer run on Friday afternoon and we'd drink ONE beer in the lab (that doesn't happen anymore either) while finishing up paperwork.  

But in the last 25 years, or me even having alcohol on your person is a fireable offense and no one would think about drinking at lunch.

My last two employers kept free alcohol on premise. Drinking was part of company culture.

Yeah, there's an employer in town that boasts margarita machines on site. An insurance (!) company I used to work for had boozy employee appreciation days. Like, making fancy cocktails in the conference room and day drinking whilst working all week long. 

It's more the exclusion of the employee that has me raising eyebrows (along with almost everything else in her letter). 

[rouquinette]

Aug 2, 2017 18:23:39 GMT -5 aurora said:

It's all bad, but a special OMG to this BS:

"I also thought that her years of experience were irrelevant; she didn’t have anything beyond a bachelor’s degree (most of us were smart and dedicated enough to get a masters)..."

Oh no kidding. I have an MA, and it did take tenacity, I don't think it makes me any better at my job (or smarter, or more dedicated) than my colleagues and/or clients who have an A.A., B.A., or no degree at all (a degree is respected, but not mandatory in my specialized, industrial field). If anything, getting my MA instilled in me a humility brought on by awareness of how little I actually knew and how many opportunities I'd been given to get to that point.