Something for you to laugh at

[judyblume14]

...since it happened to me, and not you.

Ayeyeye.

I work for a large company, with over 10K employees in the US.  One of the C-Suite executives hired me as an intern over 10 years ago, when he was not quite C-suite.  He has spent a lot of his time with the company in my location, but is now based at corporate HQ.  We have a friendly relationship, and he always goes to bat for me, and on more than one occasion, has "shielded" my job from being eliminated (I wrote about this earlier this week since it just happened again).

Today is our work picnic. I am leaving the office in 15 minutes, after I pump.  So, a few minutes ago, I packed up my desk, grabbed all my stuff, and headed to the mothers room.

I passed by him and his boss (a newly appoint C-Something), to whom I was just introduced for the first time this morning.

The C-Something that hired me: Where ya headed? Skipping out on us early?"
Me: Oh, no, just headed up to the sixth floor.
Him: Why? We're not good enough for you on 5?
Me: No, No, just..
Him: (Continues to playfully joke.)
Me: Oh you know, new mom stuff. (brandishes pump bag)
Him: Oh? OH! Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. Go right ahead, please yell at me later.
Other new C-something: (just there along for the awkward ride)

[traveltheworld]

I love it.

I'll add my own awkward pump story. When I worked at the firm, our managing partner was a guy in his 40s - super bright, but very clueless socially. My office was next to his and he frequently barged into my office with random requests. After I had DS, I inquired about putting a lock on my office door, but HR dropped the ball and didn't have it set up before my first day. So I thought, no big deal, I'll just close my door, and put a "DO NOT DISTURB" sign on my door, and tell my assistant to stop anyone from coming in. For extra safety, I also put a chair behind the door so it'd get jammed if anyone tried to come in.

Said managing partner came by (I could see him through the frosted glass), knocked on my door, ignored my assistant's comment that I wasn't available, and proceeded to push open the door. When he couldn't, he used his full force - the door/chair gave in, and he fell into my office - looked up, and saw me in my nursing cover with the pump all hooked up.

I've never seen a man's face turn that red before. He muttered something and practically ran out of there, straight into my assistant, knocked her back, she fell, bringing down a few file cabinets along the way.

That story still gets told at firm events.

[HeartofCheese]

I got walked in on 3x. All 3x I had a sign, had the door closed, blinds drawn, notebook wedged under the door, and yelled loudly and clearly and repeatedly "Do NOT come in!" One woman who walked in on me was actually mad at *me* for over a year and refused to talk to me until she was laid off.

[akafred]

That is hysterical! He seems like a really cool guy though .

[xctsclrx]

judyblume14, That actually made me laugh. Needed that today.

traveltheworld,Please tell me that you were like "yes can I help you" about it. That would make it so much better.

[mommyatty]

One of the new mom attorneys here put a cartoon picture of a cow on her door with a note that said Do Not Enter when she was pumping. For some reason, that resonated more than the plain Do Not Disturb sign. And it cracked me up because she is normally really stiff and formal. Plus we have a really nice nursing room on another floor with multiple private areas curtained off. I wondered why she didn't just go down there.

[2chatter]

Oh god I hate the nursing in the office thing! With my first they gave me a key to a supply closet and swore no one else had a key. Two things - it was beside the coffee machine so the squeak of the manual pump led to office wide speculation as to who was getting it on in there. And...some dude had a key. It was months and months into pumping so I was comfortable - boob out, facing the door - when he walked in.

Awful!! I do so love the deer in headlights male responses too though!

[frozenpeas]

When pumping for DD1 I was in a file room/supply closet with no lock. There were several awkward encounters & close calls.

By the time DD2 came along we had moved to a bigger office and I was upgraded to a supply room with a door that actually locked. Still wasn't foolproof, with the most memorable moment being when the maintenance guy was working in the ducts and I happened to look up to find him STARING STRAIGHT DOWN AT ME from behind a removed ceiling tile!

[waverly]

You guys, I am cracking up so much. I mostly pumped in the bathroom. Yucky I know, but the alternative was kicking out my co-worker 3 times a day for 30 min to take over her office. Yup this was my boss's great solution so that he didn't have to find a real solution, but didn't legally tell me to pump in the bathroom. It often smelled like poop, and I brought in my air freshener, and then a co-worker would complain she didn't like the air freshener. I didn't tell her it was mine, but B&%$# please.

The only embarrassing thing I did was forget to put my milk in the cooler, so it was just sitting out in the middle of the refrigerator with the lunches- oh well.

[eport]

The one time my occupied sign fell down so a male co-worker (with one year old twins and a sense of humor) created a new sign that said "No Entrance. ZOMBIE Storage Unit!". I laughed when I saw it and he said "new parents get no sleep. zombies-get it". He put some thought into it.

The only other story I had for the year that I pumped was that on my first day, I went to my room, which doubled as a small training room for our trainers to do virtual training. I heard a conversation between a male and female co-worker. "[trainer] has never put an occupied sign on this door before. I wonder why that is?" female co-worker "I believe eport is in there." Male: "Why would she....OHHHHHHHH". I swear I could hear him turn red. He quickly left. I had a good laugh. Female co-worker said she heard me laughing.

[judyblume14]

Good news. The awkward encounter paid off.

New C-something addressed me by name several times at the work picnic.
C-something that hired me grabbed me to be his corn hole partner.

Win.

[mommyatty]

Aug 10, 2017 15:13:47 GMT -5 judyblume14 said:

Good news. The awkward encounter paid off.[C-something that hired me grabbed me to be his corn hole partner.

Win.

That sounds more than a little personal. Lol.

(Down here, we call it "bag toss".)

[traveltheworld]

Oh I got another good one. Somewhere around 8 months, my milk tasted soapy once refrigerated (I found out because DS started refusing to drink). Apparently it happens when you have too much lipase enzyme and the only solution is to boil the milk right after you pump it, but before you refrigerate it. In a desperate attempt to keep breastfeeding, I bought a bunsen burner and mini pot and got it all set up in my office. Once it was there all in front of me, I realized how ridiculous that was, so I stopped. But I didn't pack away the set up because I had to jump on a conference call. A male associate came by and jokingly asked if I was trying to make my own drugs. In my sleep-deprived state, somehow I thought it was necessary to explain the whole thing to him. Halfway through that conversation, I realized how uncomfortable he was, so I abruptly stopped. It was...awkward...

[2chatter]

I too call it corn hole. Cracking up that's why he knows your name - the kids need to bring us some kind of benefit!

[judyblume14]

Aug 10, 2017 17:09:52 GMT -5 2chatter said:

I too call it corn hole. Cracking up that's why he knows your name - the kids need to bring us some kind of benefit!

Seriously though. It's like, the only time I'll ever be thankful that my boobs gave me an advantage at work!

[k3am]

We call it cornhole also.

When I was pumping with DD, I got dragged on a work trip with my division manager and needed to pump. I ended up finding a somewhat hidden spot in a random terminal which was fine. When I finally track him down afterwards, boss man is talking to a lady at an info counter, gesturing wildly around his chest and asking for a "milk expulsion station." I died.