How quickly do you "drop" a guy?

[Deleted]

If sparks don't fly for me by the second date (or they seem to be on a different page or insert other reason here) I think I'm done. Do you have a date limit for dropping a guy? I mean if a first date is disastrous, forget it... But if the first date is meh...and then you go from there how much time do you let it linger? Just curious.

[mandimija]

I don't do meh first dates. If I think there might be something there, ten I try a second, but no more than that.

[leahmel]

If there are no red flags and I could see myself kissing a guy, I would give him a second date. Usually after date 2 I can tell if there is a shot at compatibility or not, so I would say 2 to 3 dates for the most part, unless it is a no from the gate.

[Deleted]

Sept 14, 2012 20:35:15 GMT -5 @darkangel said:

I'll usually go to a second date even if the first was meh, because of possible nerves and all. But if the second date is still meh then that's it. Not that I have much experience with that, but life is too short to waste time if there's no spark.

My thoughts exactly.

[letyourselfgo]

Three dates for me. If I were in that situation.

[BookLover]

I can give a guy two dates. If there is nothing, I drop him.

[bullygirl979]

Sept 14, 2012 20:35:15 GMT -5 @darkangel said:

I'll usually go to a second date even if the first was meh, because of possible nerves and all. But if the second date is still meh then that's it. Not that I have much experience with that, but life is too short to waste time if there's no spark.

This. I usually go 2-3 dates unless I start chugging my martini on the first date (i.e. desperate to get out of there).

[Deleted]

Sept 15, 2012 7:45:23 GMT -5 mintchocochip said:

Are you asking because you went out with work dude again??

Well, not really, I was just asking in general....he basically turned into a ghost, so I'm done. We had one real date and then the lunch together and after that he called me once after i had texted him a friendly, hi how are you. Since then he hasn't been popping by at work, or contacting me. In a situation like this, he had ample time to contact me and plan another get together if he was interested. So, I feel he wasn't interested, or got scared off when he asked if I want children in the future and I said yes. Oh well, nothing lost, nothing gained on that one...

[Deleted]

Sept 15, 2012 15:46:11 GMT -5 mintchocochip said:

[..

Well, better now that months down the line. Good for you for putting yourself out there! His loss![/quote]
Thanks, yeah...it's better not to waste time..

[Deleted]

Sept 15, 2012 16:21:27 GMT -5 dynamoo said:

Sept 15, 2012 15:49:50 GMT -5 @blueyes623 said:

Well, better now that months down the line. Good for you for putting yourself out there! His loss!

Thanks, yeah...it's better not to waste time..

I agree. I'm glad that you recognize that it's his loss and aren't compromising your own values and goals. [/quote]

Thanks love!

[messykitchen]

If I have no spark on the first date, I don't even bother with a second. What is the point? Why waste his time?

[jade28]

It's funny, I thought I gave guys chances but not really. I have had great first dates with guys who were really nice but I never even considered calling them back or planning a second date. If there isn't a spark, no matter how great it is, I usually don't have the motivation to pursue it. Even with nerves, I can tell if I click with someone or not and if they are my type of person. It's so easy to tell IMO.

Sometimes, I give it a 2nd date if the guy is nice enough but my instincts are always right when it comes to who I can click with and who I don't. I am an oddball and goofy and I talk fast and am all over the place and I approach life in a very specific way so it's pretty easy to tell which guys fit right into that and which don't.

[achase123]

I think a second date is a good gage of things. The first date things can be awkward, people are nervous, etc. Sometimes I've had "good" first dates that basically were just not terrible, so I went on a second date and realized quickly that there was nothing there. Third date would definitely be pushing it.

[audg]

Sept 14, 2012 20:35:15 GMT -5 @darkangel said:

I'll usually go to a second date even if the first was meh, because of possible nerves and all. But if the second date is still meh then that's it. Not that I have much experience with that, but life is too short to waste time if there's no spark.

THIS!