inclusion conversation with NT parents

[agedsubaru]

DD's gs troop (1) merged with another gs troop (2). Our original leader's life imploded so she is trying to keep the girls somewhat together

In troop 1, all levels of the girls were together for a meeting and most had been there for 5 years. the  leader has a natural disposition for inclusion. DD wasn't the only sn kiddo. 

In troop 2, it is run like a cub scout meeting. They are nice to ask for inclusion info. We are meeting shortly before the meeting to discuss. 

I would love some words of wisdom and advice. It has been ages since i have had to do this. 

Thanks.

[agedsubaru]

Also none of the girls at dd's level transitioned over. There is another girl who may move over in the spring. She is also sn.

[waverly]

I wish I had something but I don't really. DS has hearing loss but he is included in everything. I might just have to have the hearing aid/ water/ pool conversation at some point if he isn't with me. The first year parents are required to attend everything. They don't have to adapt much except for maybe repeat themselves with him.

His other problem is physical but I am not sure if it is worth mentioning since they probably won't notice, and he is with them a short time. I did mention it to his teachers but he is with them a lot more hours.

Will you go through what she would need to be successful in certain situations? Accommodations?

[mightymaude]

Not sure what you're asking?

We quit GS (Daisies) because the group did not understand any kids that were not extroverts. All meetings were geared towards socialization and working with public image/promoting oneself. The girls were required to do cookie booths, and DD actually got yelled at by a leader b/c she refused to speak and spent a good portion of the time crying in a corner. I would leap at the opportunity to be part of a group that recognized that SN exist and are open to helping kids with things.

[auntie]

Sept 20, 2017 5:40:17 GMT -5 agedsubaru said:

DD's gs troop (1) merged with another gs troop (2). Our original leader's life imploded so she is trying to keep the girls somewhat together

In troop 1, all levels of the girls were together for a meeting and most had been there for 5 years. the  leader has a natural disposition for inclusion. DD wasn't the only sn kiddo. 

What do you mean by "levels"? Ages? Ranks? Degrees of impairment or atypicality? 

In troop 2, it is run like a cub scout meeting. They are nice to ask for inclusion info. We are meeting shortly before the meeting to discuss. 

What do you mean by cub scout meeting? A pack meeting with boys of all ages and ranks from multiple dens? DS old pack ran close to 100 boys when he was a cub. Or do you mean more like a den meeting with a couple of adults focused on 6-15 kids who are the same age/rank? 

What do you mean by inclusion information? Do these parents want to know how to accommodate kids who are differently abled around rank advancement or manage behaviors? Do they want to know individual dxs for the girls coming into their unit? Are the other parents of kids with SNs OK with sharing? 

For me, revealing my son's dxs was a process. He has ASD, ADHD, dyslexia and GAD but he's really bright so sometimes he can seem just quirky. Early on, it was strictly on a "need to know basis". Because DH or I attended with DS, there really wasn't any reason to share his dxs. As he got older and we weren't always around, we shared with those people who would be responsible for him- his scoutmasters the advancement chair. By middle school, he was pretty good at advocating for himself as needed. 

I would love some words of wisdom and advice. It has been ages since i have had to do this. 

If you're asking about how to make the scouting program work for a mixed of kids, I imagine the GS have information available to you as a leader.

Thanks.

[funchicken]

Hi! I used to post on the SN Board on TCF, and I've been meaning to reintroduce myself over here.

Are you a troop leader or a parent? Do you attend the meetings with your DD? I'm a troop leader and also part of the Service Unit's support team, so I have a pretty good idea how things work in our council. In our Service Unit, troops tend to be smaller and have girls that are at the same level in a troop together. It sounds like your DD's troop is a multi-level troop. Is that right? The Girl Scout program is supposed to be inclusive. Troop leaders talk about it in trainings, and the Council has an Inclusion Specialist who we are able to consult if needed. There's also a patch program centered around inclusion that GS offers.

It's hard to offer advice without knowing a little more about your situation, but because, as with Auntie's DS, my DD often comes across as quirky but is pretty well able to advocate for herself, I usually feel out a situation for a bit before I offer too much information about her diagnoses. My co-leader and I have been working together for 3 years, but I only told her about DD's ADHD and SPD about a year ago.

What level is your DD? Mine just bridged to Juniors.

[miranda]

As a leader I'd want to know if a kid has a significant SN, or is prone to elopement, or has a special interest that might help engage him, or a special talent that I can build off of. My kid is pretty HF, so the only thing I really tell his Sunday School teacher each year is that he really dislikes art and writing, but enjoys the stories, so don't be offended if he isn't sitting and coloring or drawing pictures like the other kids. I also tell her that he might need additional instructions, but she's going to figure that out pretty quickly on her own!

[agedsubaru]

Sept 20, 2017 19:31:53 GMT -5 mightymaude said:

Not sure what you're asking?

We quit GS (Daisies) because the group did not understand any kids that were not extroverts. All meetings were geared towards socialization and working with public image/promoting oneself. The girls were required to do cookie booths, and DD actually got yelled at by a leader b/c she refused to speak and spent a good portion of the time crying in a corner. I would leap at the opportunity to be part of a group that recognized that SN exist and are open to helping kids with things.

Dd started as a Daisy. We have had a great experience. All the moms pitch in. Inclusion was brought up early as one girl has had successive surgeries. It is all about the leader. This is a big change from an naturally inclusive leader to non aware parents. Try a new troop. It can be amazing. This is why I am nervous... great experience until now.

[agedsubaru]

Sept 21, 2017 9:06:37 GMT -5 funchicken said:

Hi! I used to post on the SN Board on TCF, and I've been meaning to reintroduce myself over here.

Are you a troop leader or a parent? Do you attend the meetings with your DD? I'm a troop leader and also part of the Service Unit's support team, so I have a pretty good idea how things work in our council. In our Service Unit, troops tend to be smaller and have girls that are at the same level in a troop together. It sounds like your DD's troop is a multi-level troop. Is that right? The Girl Scout program is supposed to be inclusive. Troop leaders talk about it in trainings, and the Council has an Inclusion Specialist who we are able to consult if needed. There's also a patch program centered around inclusion that GS offers.

It's hard to offer advice without knowing a little more about your situation, but because, as with Auntie's DS, my DD often comes across as quirky but is pretty well able to advocate for herself, I usually feel out a situation for a bit before I offer too much information about her diagnoses. My co-leader and I have been working together for 3 years, but I only told her about DD's ADHD and SPD about a year ago.

What level is your DD? Mine just bridged to Juniors.

DD is a 2nd year Junior; She started as a Daisy. Depending on what she needs, depends on if I attend. Daisys I was hands on for the whole year. At some point I transitioned to a drop off parent. Now I am back in full time as she transitions to the new troop. I am going to pass along the Inclusion Specialist to the troop leaders. Our new troop is neck deep in adults; tdwo are overall leaders, and then 2 per level (so two for cadets, two for juniors, two for brownies, and two for daisies. 

Thank you. I am excited about the inclusion specialist idea. We had a new junior joining who has been in the states for three weeks so she needs some support too. 

[agedsubaru]

Sept 21, 2017 4:36:08 GMT -5 auntie said:

Sept 20, 2017 5:40:17 GMT -5 agedsubaru said:

DD's gs troop (1) merged with another gs troop (2). Our original leader's life imploded so she is trying to keep the girls somewhat together

In troop 1, all levels of the girls were together for a meeting and most had been there for 5 years. the  leader has a natural disposition for inclusion. DD wasn't the only sn kiddo. 

What do you mean by "levels"? Ages? Ranks? Degrees of  impairment or atypicality? Verbiage is different in girls scouts. Girls are divided by grade year. Daisys (k,1st), Brownies (2nd, 3rd), Juniors (4th, 5th), Cadets (6-8), Seniors (9th, 10th), and Ambassadors (11th, 12th)

In troop 2, it is run like a cub scout meeting. They are nice to ask for inclusion info. We are meeting shortly before the meeting to discuss. 

What do you mean by cub scout meeting? A pack meeting with boys of all ages and ranks from multiple dens? DS old pack ran close to 100 boys when he was a cub. Or do you mean more like a den meeting with a couple of adults focused on 6-15 kids who are the saage/rank? Yes like a pack with den meetings. 2 adults  run the whole troop, 2 adults per level, cookie mom, treasurer. A bit of overkill for girl scouts. But in this I am going to step away...this is their call, not mine. 
What do you mean by inclusion information? Do these parents want to know how to accommodate kids who are differently abled around rank advancement or manage behaviors? Do they want to know individual dxs for the girls coming into their unit? Are the other parents of kids with SNs OK with sharing

These are nt parents without a clue. they don't know what they are asking for. 

For me, revealing my son's dxs was a process. He has ASD, ADHD, dyslexia and GAD but he's really bright so sometimes he can seem just quirky. Early on, it was strictly on a "need to know basis". Because DH or I attended with DS, there really wasn't any reason to share his dxs. As he got older and we weren't always around, we shared with those people who would be responsible for him- his scoutmasters the advancement chair. By middle school, he was pretty good at advocating for himself as needed. 

I have no choice but to disclose. Her articulation makes her unintelligible so a lot of assumptions float out there. Also she can't read or do math and is embarrassed. To avoid behaviors, I have to disclose. DS is different, there  is no need to disclose. 


I would love some words of wisdom and advice. It has been ages since i have had to do this. 

If you're asking about how to make the scouting program work for a mixed of kids, I imagine the GS have information available to you as a leader.

I am getting involved informally. I am relying on the former leader and another poster mentioned there is an inclusion specialist at council level. 

Thanks.

[agedsubaru]

Sept 20, 2017 17:10:33 GMT -5 waverly said:

I wish I had something but I don't really. DS has hearing loss but he is included in everything. I might just have to have the hearing aid/ water/ pool conversation at some point if he isn't with me. The first year parents are required to attend everything. They don't have to adapt much except for maybe repeat themselves with him.

His other problem is physical but I am not sure if it is worth mentioning since they probably won't notice, and he is with them a short time. I did mention it to his teachers but he is with them a lot more hours.

Will you go through what she would need to be successful in certain situations? Accommodations

DD is bit complex. She doesn't fit in one box (fo course no one does). These parents are complete newbies to SN. I haven't had to deal with NT parents in quite some time. A bit of a shock to me...The previous leader is helping but it will be a rolling conversation. Also off to look for the inclusion specialist too that another poster mentioned. 

[auntie]

Good luck agedsubaru ,

I'm not aware of your backstory, so I might probably have some bone-headed ideas. 

Could you deliver a short information to the parents absent the children? Maybe identify the areas where she is delayed as "difficult for her" with a short explanation if you have one, while focusing on the aspects of her personality where she is more typical- like if she has an average IQ or age-appropriate interests. Sometimes it's best to remind people of all the things thy have in common rather than the few ways your child is different. Depending on the situation, I used to just tell peers DS was wired differently, that he was a Mac in a PC world. 

If there is a well written website associated with an advocacy and information group, you could share a link. 

Good luck. I hope your DD can continue to enjoys scouting. 

[funchicken]

agedsubaru, that additional information helps. Do you know your Service Unit team? The Service Unit team is usually made up of more experienced leaders who provide support to the troops in a specific area. My service unit team is pretty big because we have a pretty big SU, but we meet monthly to talk about planning events, supporting the leaders, trouble-shooting issues, establishing new troops, that kind of stuff. They are there as a resource for your troop leaders. They might be able to help, too.

Also, if you are registered as an adult troop member, you can attend trainings. Most of the trainings are free, and they have all kinds of stuff (outdoor cooking, camping, geo-caching, letter-boxing, kayaking, archery, etc). I know you said your troop has a lot of adults, but you could see if your troop leaders are open to you and your DD being "Leaders for a Day" to do a badge with the other girls. Or if there's a field trip or service project idea that you think your DD would like to do with the troop, you can organize it with her. I'm thinking about asking our school guidance counselor to do a kindness workshop with my troop to help us with inclusion and team-building. Sometimes parents and troop leaders aren't sure where to find support, but those are a few ideas of things we do in my area.

[agedsubaru]

Sept 22, 2017 9:13:29 GMT -5 auntie said:

Good luck agedsubaru ,

I'm not aware of your backstory, so I might probably have some bone-headed ideas. Sorry auntie...its me bubba. I changed my handle from bubba (or associated name). I am trying out a new name.  

Could you deliver a short information to the parents absent the children? Maybe identify the areas where she is delayed as "difficult for her" with a short explanation if you have one, while focusing on the aspects of her personality where she is more typical- like if she has an average IQ or age-appropriate interests. Sometimes it's best to remind people of all the things thy have in common rather than the few ways your child is different. Depending on the situation, I used to just tell peers DS was wired differently, that he was a Mac in a PC world. I had the parents get off email and meet up for a few minutes before our 1/5 to 2 hour meeting. It is going to be a ongoing conversation; that's was one of my takeaways from them. 

If there is a well written website associated with an advocacy and information group, you could share a link. 

Good luck. I hope your DD can continue to enjoys scouting. Scouting has been critical for dd. I don't want her to give it up until she decides she has another interest. 

[agedsubaru]

Sept 22, 2017 9:48:27 GMT -5 funchicken said:

agedsubaru , that additional information helps. Do you know your Service Unit team? The Service Unit team is usually made up of more experienced leaders who provide support to the troops in a specific area. My service unit team is pretty big because we have a pretty big SU, but we meet monthly to talk about planning events, supporting the leaders, trouble-shooting issues, establishing new troops, that kind of stuff. They are there as a resource for your troop leaders. They might be able to help, too.

Also, if you are registered as an adult troop member, you can attend trainings. Most of the trainings are free, and they have all kinds of stuff (outdoor cooking, camping, geo-caching, letter-boxing, kayaking, archery, etc). I know you said your troop has a lot of adults, but you could see if your troop leaders are open to you and your DD being "Leaders for a Day" to do a badge with the other girls. Or if there's a field trip or service project idea that you think your DD would like to do with the troop, you can organize it with her. I'm thinking about asking our school guidance counselor to do a kindness workshop with my troop to help us with inclusion and team-building. Sometimes parents and troop leaders aren't sure where to find support, but those are a few ideas of things we do in my area. All good ideas. I am going to sign up as a leader. Been the treasurer and could support in the background and get to know the parents. Taking your advice. Thank you! 

[auntie]

agedsubaru, aka bubba. I didn't realize it was you. LOLZ

My parents seem to be using up all my available bandwidth these days.

[agedsubaru]

I know the feeling on bandwidth. You still rock.