Poll: How long did you date before getting engaged

[dulcemariamar]

We dated about 2 1/2 years before we got engaged.

[popcorn]

6 months.

[centralperk]

4.5 years. But we were really young when we got together, I was 16 and DH was 18.

[aMrsin09]

uhm I think 1 year and 2 months.
Although he may tell you 1 year and 6 months (he puts our dating anniversary at the day we met, not the day he finally asked me out).

[irish]

I think it was 6 1/2 years... yes, I know... we got all the "about time!" comments when we got engaged! Wedding was 14 months later, so didn't procrastinate on that one really (by Irish standards anyway)

ETA: and I was 28 when we met so it wasn't because we were young when we met!

[NomadicMama]

Six months. And, we got married 24 days after we got engaged. ;D

We met online while now-DH was deployed. We wrote a ton of emails and talked weekly for almost three months before our first date. We've been married for almost six years.

[popcorn]

May 18, 2012 8:47:46 GMT -5 irish said:

I think it was 6 1/2 years... yes, I know... we got all the "about time!" comments when we got engaged! Wedding was 14 months later, so didn't procrastinate on that one really (by Irish standards anyway)

ETA: and I was 28 when we met so it wasn't because we were young when we met!

In Spain that's totally normal. I (obviously) got the opposite reaction from people!

[popcorn]

May 18, 2012 8:49:21 GMT -5 NomadicMama said:

Six months. And, we got married 24 days after we got engaged. ;D

We met online while now-DH was deployed. We wrote a ton of emails and talked weekly for almost three months before our first date. We've been married for almost six years.

And I thought be the only one who waited such a short time!

[pittpurple]

We started dating at 20, moved in together at 22, got engaged at 24 and married at 25. Everyone was bored with us by the time we got married.

Now I think 25 is insanely young to get married - we have a million weddings here this year and we're 32 now. It seems people wait a bit longer over here.

[NomadicMama]

May 18, 2012 8:52:09 GMT -5 popcorn said:

May 18, 2012 8:49:21 GMT -5 NomadicMama said:

Six months. And, we got married 24 days after we got engaged. ;D

We met online while now-DH was deployed. We wrote a ton of emails and talked weekly for almost three months before our first date. We've been married for almost six years.

And I thought be the only one who waited such a short time!

You are in good company!

It was especially fun to answer polls like this on the Knot while planning (we had a wedding ceremony and reception ten weeks after our JOP). Some of the knotties were rather surprised.

[irish]

May 18, 2012 8:57:00 GMT -5 pittpurple said:

Now I think 25 is insanely young to get married - we have a million weddings here this year and we're 32 now. It seems people wait a bit longer over here.

Absolutely. I think it's a cultural thing, though back in the day when there was no sex until you were married people got married younger.

My brother got married at 23 and he was the first wedding by nearly a decade!

[Cheesecake]

Not legally married, but a legal partnership, so no engagement either.
It's actually pretty uncommon in NL to get married for other reasons than buying a house or having children nowadays. And since it's so hard to get an affordable rental or buy a home on your own, moving in together is considered as serious as engagement/marriage.

We decided to move in together (me in his house) after about a year of dating, (I subletted my apartment) them bought a house together about half a year after that and then signed all sorts of legal documents tying us to each other (life insurance, retirement, legal partnership) in the year and a half after we bought the house.

Whenever (especially American) family members ask us when we're getting married/why we don't want to commit, my standard answer is that nowadays it's much harder to get rid of a house than a marriage, so buying a house neither of us can afford without the other, is commitment enough.

(Also I tell them how much a wedding would cost if I'd have one where they'd be invited and usually that makes sure they shut up about it for good!)

[travelingturtle]

2.5 years before engaged, a little over a year later we were married.

[wise_rita]

Eh...7.5 years and counting.

NLFoodie I didn't realize you weren't married. ::Fist bump of solidarity::

We've been acting like we're married since very soon after we got together at age 21. We just haven't bothered to shell out the cash for a pretty pretty princess day (which I'm debating if I want or not) yet. Some day. Maybe.

[Cheesecake]

May 18, 2012 9:18:59 GMT -5 wise_rita said:

NLFoodie I didn't realize you weren't married. ::Fist bump of solidarity::

We've been acting like we're married since very soon after we got together at age 21. We just haven't bothered to shell out the cash for a pretty pretty princess day (which I'm debating if I want or not) yet. Some day. Maybe.

[glow=red,2,300]Solidarity sista![/glow]

Honestly though, if I'd want a pretty princess day, I'd want all our family to be able to be present/get invited. That's large groups of people from 3 countries. I know that if invited, most would want to come. I'd feel obligated to entertain them, and feed them and stuff. I'd be looking at a price tag of being-able-to-pay-off-at-least-a-quarter-of-my-very-high-mortgage.

Yeah, the legal partnership without the pretty princess day suddenly became A-OK when I made that calculation.

[wise_rita]

The longer we wait the more complicated it gets. After grad school in the UK most of our friends are now in Germany. There's still a large contingent in the US, though, so where does one have a wedding?

It's just easiest to postpone it indefinitely and declare shackin' up the easiest/most desirable solution.

[gibbylod]

We got engaged after 5 years, but mostly because having to buy flights every 3 months to allow me to stay in the country was just getting ridiculous. I honestly don't know if we would have done it otherwise. We had already bought a house, car and such together, and like others have said, that was already quite a commitment anyway.

[cailinabroad]

5 months! Within 3 months we were already talking about marriage, but it took a little longer to actually get a ring and a proposal haha. We had a JOP a month later, but we're having a religious ceremony and reception this summer back in the States since our families weren't able to make it to the JOP.

[GilliC]

Around 6 months. I guess I should have waited longer.

[dulcemariamar]

Okay I got you guys beat. I am watching some clips of say yes to the dress (I dont always spend this much time on the Internet but I am sick at home with a sore throat)


Anyway, this girl comes into the store and she wants to buy a dress for her wedding that is in 8 days. She tells the girl at the store that she met a guy on the Internet 4 months ago and they decided last month to get married. The havent met yet and they arent going to meet until the day of the wedding.

What do you guys think? Romantic of BSC?

[fernane]

6 months with an 11 month engagement...had to wait for my parents to come back to the US during the summer..

[allibally]

1 year and 3 months. We got married about 9 months later in a hastily planned wedding in Switzerland so that I could have a B Permit and stay in Switzerland.

[NomadicMama]

May 18, 2012 10:52:28 GMT -5 dulcemariamar said:

Anyway, this girl comes into the store and she wants to buy a dress for her wedding that is in 8 days. She tells the girl at the store that she met a guy on the Internet 4 months ago and they decided last month to get married. The havent met yet and they arent going to meet until the day of the wedding.

What do you guys think? Romantic of BSC?

Honestly, a little frightening. (And, as mentioned above, I met my DH on line and married quickly--so I understand, to a degree, where she's coming from.)

There are TOO many unknowns with the situation. What about chemistry? Who is going to relocate? If they can't afford to meet before hand, then, in my perhaps judgement opinion, they should save their money and have a small (and very inexpensive) wedding. (Though saving money for an extended visit would be more practical and beneficial.)

Did she explain the rush to get married?

If you as a couple are meant to "be", taking a few (more) months to establish the relationship is the wise and prudent thing. Though, given that the show you are watching is called Bridezilla, wise and prudent will never happen!

[allibally]

I vote BSC.

[DorkFish]

Dated 4 months then got engaged, were engaged for a year then got married.

[crimsonandclover]

9 months. From the day we started dating until we got engaged we only saw each other in person for 3 weeks, though. Lots of skyping (well, yahoo messengering, but whatever). Then it was another year before we got married.

ETA: And to the story I say BSC because he could be completely misrepresenting himself and she will not know until after they are legally married. That is scary.

The short time before the wedding, though? Meh, depends on the situation. My parents had known each other for 2 months and had been dating for 2 weeks when they got engaged, 6 months later they were married, and it has been 32 years without a single fight (so they claim, and I've never seen them fight). My mom was 32 at the time, had been married/divorced previously, and knew exactly what she was looking for. My dad was it, apparently.

[glitterfart]

DH and I dated a 1.5 years before we got engaged, and then we were engaged for 9 months before we got hitched. Looking back on it, it seems awfully fast, but it worked out.

[jennybee1018]

We dated for about 4 years before getting engaged, then we had a 2 year engagement. DH was finishing his PhD and I was in no rush to get married!

[clogged]

1, 2 years something like that. I had a pretty pretty princess day.

[karmaroma]

We Italians don't "date" - long explanation that I won't get into. With us personally it was love at first sight and became a couple on the night we met when we first kissed. We had been together for 13 and a half years when he proposed. Celebrated 14 and a half years exactly on our wedding day and now we're going on 16 years of mad mad love