Family/friend travel, awkward position

[cricketwife]

Sept 16, 2012 16:31:44 GMT -5 @redbellpeppers said:

If the choices are NYC with my family vs. anywhere with my H and friends, H and friends win every time.

If the choices are NYC with my family vs. nothing (which is where we are right now), I pick NYC with my family.

I don't quite get this part. If I read your OP right, it sounds like you normally do a beach house with his family that week. So, presumably, if the friends thing doesn't work out and you missed the boat on the NYC trip, you would be with his family at the beach, no?

I think both your mom and DH are being unreasonable. Your mom is a grown woman and should just go on with her plans. If you decide to wait, then you can join them if you can still book a flight/room and if not, then that's the risk for waiting. I do kind of understand your DH on this one. My guess is that this trip was swirling around in the back of his mind and now this opportunity that has come up for you is forcing the situation a bit, in a way he didn't expect. I'm not saying that he's being reasonable, but just that I can see maybe how he got to where he is.

Personally, I'd choose doing nothing with my DH than a trip with my family that I don't like so much (you mentioned your cousins being annoying but that you could tolerate them?)

I suggest that you take moment, figure out what you want to do and then present that to you DH before acting on it.

Good luck. Family pressure always sucks.

[Deleted]

Sept 16, 2012 17:15:29 GMT -5 @redbellpeppers said:

Sept 16, 2012 16:37:46 GMT -5 cuadrado said:

Can you help your H plan a trip with your friends?

This is probably the best solution...I'm just not inclined to insert myself into the cat-herding. LOL

I think you should tell your H that you both need to begin planning the trip with friends or you are going to go to NYC instead. You guys initiating the planning will get the ball rolling with the friend trip, and it's not fair that you have to do it all by yourself. If he doesn't want to help plan the trip at all then he is kind of making the decision to go to NYC instead.

[Deleted]

Sept 16, 2012 18:45:31 GMT -5 Roc A Bee said:

Is this a normal request from your mom? Doyou think it is because you won't be there for Christmas? Isn't your dad gone as well? This may be way off base, but maybe that is why she really wants you to go?

Yeah. That's why I am on a serious guilt trip.

I called my mom tonight and told her that I couldn't commit to anything yet for late December, so she should make plans on her own and I'd buy my flights later if I decided to go. She said that she wasn't 100% sold on going because the place my aunt wants to stay is $$$$ and she's being really aggressive about doing things her way because she's traveled to NYC before. LOL. Anyway, my mom was understanding about my situation and said not to worry about it.

In the meantime, H decided to stop being a PITA. He called one of our college friends who's definitely up for a late December trip, brainstormed some ideas, and sent an e-mail to the whole group. We already have one affirmative reply! So hopefully something will pan out.

Thanks for your replies and for talking me down. I thought I was going crazy for awhile.

[chia]

I'd plan a trip to NYC with your Mom alone... for sometime when your H is busy, and you have time off. Then, you'll get to see your Mom, you can do it on your terms, and you won't have to hang out with all your aunts and stuff.

[dexteroni]

Glad to hear the update! It sounds like both parties came to their senses. It's always nice when that happens.

[Deleted]

Sept 16, 2012 22:14:48 GMT -5 chia said:

I'd plan a trip to NYC with your Mom alone... for sometime when your H is busy, and you have time off. Then, you'll get to see your Mom, you can do it on your terms, and you won't have to hang out with all your aunts and stuff.

This isn't on the table right now.

[egeiger]

Can friends get together in NYC? Then you'd be able to see everyone.

[gt7301b]

Sept 16, 2012 16:21:02 GMT -5 @redbellpeppers said:

Sept 16, 2012 16:19:17 GMT -5 carrotsmakemefat said:

Honestly? I would be blunt with my mom and tell her I can't make the decision yet. Neither side should be forcing you into a decision. Is it bc flights are cheaper right now?

IDK. My aunt is planning the trip, and she wants to book now. From what I can tell, old people don't like spontaneity?

It is 3.5 months out. They need to get a grip. If they want a decision today the answer is no, if they can wait you may be able to go. (Btw I think it is fine to wait a few weeks to book Christmas travel, we just booked Thanksgiving travel and the flights were some of the cheapest I have booked all year)

Opps, just read your update. Looks like I was a little late to the party