My kids go to a small private school and the current contract between the school and parents specifies that the students are not to have social media. Last year there was a huge issue in a middle school grade with snapchat, bullying, and sexual harassment that caused the administration to draw the line this year. Students found to be on social media will be asked to leave the school.
That's intense.
Why not teach kids to use it responsibly? I'd have a hard time staying at that school.
"Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. On the outside, babies, you've got a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies-"God damn it, you've got to be kind.”
I strongly disagree with kids under 13 being on social media. There are terms of service, and you're teaching kids that it's okay to go around them because...why? They're special? You say it's okay?
Okay good I’m not the only one. I don’t care if Susie and Michael all have it, are they jumping off a bridge too?
I know how i was at 12-13 with AOL Chatrooms just coming about, and it was so so so dangerous back then. There’s a difference if you have Snapchat and your kids sometimes get your phone to use it vs. giving your kid access to social media and things like that.
You aren’t their friend. You are a parent. They only have access to it because you allow it. And no it isn’t normal.
My kids go to a small private school and the current contract between the school and parents specifies that the students are not to have social media. Last year there was a huge issue in a middle school grade with snapchat, bullying, and sexual harassment that caused the administration to draw the line this year. Students found to be on social media will be asked to leave the school.
That's intense.
Why not teach kids to use it responsibly? I'd have a hard time staying at that school.
Because children under 13 should not be using social media as per the terms of service (at least for the ones I know of) and it's not the school's responsibility to teach the students to behave responsibly online when they aren't even supposed to be using those sites.
My kids go to a small private school and the current contract between the school and parents specifies that the students are not to have social media. Last year there was a huge issue in a middle school grade with snapchat, bullying, and sexual harassment that caused the administration to draw the line this year. Students found to be on social media will be asked to leave the school.
That's intense.
Why not teach kids to use it responsibly? I'd have a hard time staying at that school.
My guess is bc parents won’t/dont/can’t be bothered to teach their kids about safety (obviously, since there was such a big issue in a prior year) and the school has enough on their plates with teaching actual subject matter, why is it on the school to tell parents how to appropriately parent their kids?
I was at one of Xavier’s soccer games and a dad told his son to beat up another kid for tripping him, the kid did and there was a legit fist fight with a Dad cheering.
Some parents just suck and they ruin things for everyone.
I need ham like water Like breath, like rain I need ham like mercy From Heaven's gate Sometimes ham salad or casserole or ham that’s free range, all natural I need ham
I teach at a k-7 school (I teach grade 5), and most of our grade 7s are on Snapchat and Instagram. My kids play online games where they can network with one another, but not really social media yet.
Why not teach kids to use it responsibly? I'd have a hard time staying at that school.
My guess is bc parents won’t/dont/can’t be bothered to teach their kids about safety (obviously, since there was such a big issue in a prior year) and the school has enough on their plates with teaching actual subject matter, why is it on the school to tell parents how to appropriately parent their kids?
I was at one of Xavier’s soccer games and a dad told his son to beat up another kid for tripping him, the kid did and there was a legit fist fight with a Dad cheering.
Some parents just suck and they ruin things for everyone.
I see that, but I also think (at least in middle school), at least half of my job (I teach 6 and 8) is social development. Skill development is the other half; content fairly irrelevant. I spend a lot of time working with kids on things that I would put squarely into the "home" category, but the fact is kids are using social media and no amount of banning is going to change that. So taking 5 minutes out of my class to debrief why asking a girl for a nude photo is inappropriate just kind of goes with the territory for me.
I hope the pendulum of parents being parents shifts back soon.
"Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. On the outside, babies, you've got a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies-"God damn it, you've got to be kind.”
Extremely common. I have 14 and 13 (9th and 7th) year olds and they both have instagram and snapchat. I only know of a handful of kids who don't have social media accounts.
I just learned that some kids even have secret "finsta" accounts on Instagram so they can post and their parents don't see it . Not at all happy about his one.
I follow my kids accounts and they know that any day I can take their phone and look though it. My middle schooler uses social media way more than my high schooler but I think that is partially because the group of friends she has. I monitor her phone a lot closer than her sister's.
My guess is bc parents won’t/dont/can’t be bothered to teach their kids about safety (obviously, since there was such a big issue in a prior year) and the school has enough on their plates with teaching actual subject matter, why is it on the school to tell parents how to appropriately parent their kids?
I was at one of Xavier’s soccer games and a dad told his son to beat up another kid for tripping him, the kid did and there was a legit fist fight with a Dad cheering.
Some parents just suck and they ruin things for everyone.
I see that, but I also think (at least in middle school), at least half of my job (I teach 6 and 8) is social development. Skill development is the other half; content fairly irrelevant. I spend a lot of time working with kids on things that I would put squarely into the "home" category, but the fact is kids are using social media and no amount of banning is going to change that. So taking 5 minutes out of my class to debrief why asking a girl for a nude photo is inappropriate just kind of goes with the territory for me.
I hope the pendulum of parents being parents shifts back soon.
I hope you’re being facetious bc teaching children about responsibility on social media isn’t a 5 minute conversation. I mean, I have to tell my kids over and over that yes, teeth brushing is a part of every day life.
Social media responsibility needs a parent over the shoulder damn near all the time and constant monitoring bc Kids will absolutely lie and get away with what they can. Schools can’t really be an effective source of education in that manner, especially when it’s not being backed up at home.
I need ham like water Like breath, like rain I need ham like mercy From Heaven's gate Sometimes ham salad or casserole or ham that’s free range, all natural I need ham
My kids go to a small private school and the current contract between the school and parents specifies that the students are not to have social media. Last year there was a huge issue in a middle school grade with snapchat, bullying, and sexual harassment that caused the administration to draw the line this year. Students found to be on social media will be asked to leave the school.
That's intense.
Why not teach kids to use it responsibly? I'd have a hard time staying at that school.
I agree that it's intense. However, it's a private school so if you don't like those terms, go elsewhere. (fwiw, I would have no problem with that school's contract!)
I strongly disagree with kids under 13 being on social media. There are terms of service, and you're teaching kids that it's okay to go around them because...why? They're special? You say it's okay?
This. There is no good reason a child younger than 13 (which still feels pretty young) should be exposed to the shit that can come from social media. Creepy strangers, for one. Bullying that doesn't stop at the end of the school day for another. And the beginning of the "who's living the best life" bullshit that they have the rest of their life to deal with for a third. No. Why?
I strongly disagree with kids under 13 being on social media. There are terms of service, and you're teaching kids that it's okay to go around them because...why? They're special? You say it's okay?
This. There is no good reason a child younger than 13 (which still feels pretty young) should be exposed to the shit that can come from social media. Creepy strangers, for one. Bullying that doesn't stop at the end of the school day for another. And the beginning of the "who's living the best life" bullshit that they have the rest of their life to deal with for a third. No. Why?
I could tell that when my kid was getting all mad at me about this the other day, he was hoping I would say that he could have social media at 13. He kept asking WHEN he could have it, how old he had to be, etc. I told him it wasn't about his age or even me not TRUSTING him (he always throws in this "Why don't you trust me?" nonsense), it was about his maturity. <------He did NOT like that at all. *Shrugs*
I guess I disagree with "teaching them to moderate" and "certain rules being too strict". A rule is a rule. No social media at school means no social media at school. Aren't there other rules that can't be broken in school and that carry harsh repurcussions?
Why do we need "special" rules allowing our special snowflake children to have their instagram and snapchat at school, at 11 and 12 years old? I'm sorry but no. The world we live in is one where they will have those things as they grow up but hell if I agree with "moderating day time use of snapchat" for an 11 year old because it's "too hard" to notuse it at all between the hours of 9 and 3pm while in a schoolsetting.
I actually feel that kids in elementary and middle school should surrender all phones at the beginning of the day and pick them up at the end and I would support a harsh punishment for rule breaking.
An urgent message from a parent can be delivered the old fashioned way and their social media can wait.
I think kids growing up in this new high tech world, often lose out on something that is actually pretty important- just having to be idle sometimes.
I guess I disagree with "teaching them to moderate" and "certain rules being too strict". A rule is a rule. No social media at school means no social media at school. Aren't there other rules that can't be broken in school and that carry harsh repurcussions?
Why do we need "special" rules allowing our special snowflake children to have their instagram and snapchat at school, at 11 and 12 years old? I'm sorry but no. The world we live in is one where they will have those things as they grow up but hell if I agree with "moderating day time use of snapchat" for an 11 year old because it's "too hard" to notuse it at all between the hours of 9 and 3pm while in a schoolsetting.
I actually feel that kids in elementary and middle school should surrender all phones at the beginning of the day and pick them up at the end and I would support a harsh punishment for rule breaking.
An urgent message from a parent can be delivered the old fashioned way and their social media can wait.
I think kids growing up in this new high tech world, often lose out on something that is actually pretty important- just having to be idle sometimes.
Rules are for other people's kids, didn't you know?
This topic is definitely one that is close to my heart because it is a huge part of my job and everyday life. I converse with 13-14 year olds about social media multiple times per day. It is almost never positive.
Snapchat and instagram cause a lot of anxiety. Snapchat, in particular, gives kids a false sense of security (they really think the messages disappear forever). I’ve seen first hand really nice kids be completely different behind the screen - sexual harassment, bullying, etc. I’ve seen the dopamine hits that the positive interactions give to kids (it’s why this stuff is addictive) but even if only 1/10 is negative, I’ve seen that ruin a kids whole week.
I’ve seen so many parents fail to parent for fear of ending their kids Snap streaks and other nonsense like that. It’s absurd. Parents often seem powerless to parent technology because they are worried about the social life of their kid. Meanwhile, their kid is anxious and depressed because of what is going on in that world.
I guess I disagree with "teaching them to moderate" and "certain rules being too strict". A rule is a rule. No social media at school means no social media at school. Aren't there other rules that can't be broken in school and that carry harsh repurcussions?
Why do we need "special" rules allowing our special snowflake children to have their instagram and snapchat at school, at 11 and 12 years old? I'm sorry but no. The world we live in is one where they will have those things as they grow up but hell if I agree with "moderating day time use of snapchat" for an 11 year old because it's "too hard" to notuse it at all between the hours of 9 and 3pm while in a schoolsetting.
I actually feel that kids in elementary and middle school should surrender all phones at the beginning of the day and pick them up at the end and I would support a harsh punishment for rule breaking.
An urgent message from a parent can be delivered the old fashioned way and their social media can wait.
I think kids growing up in this new high tech world, often lose out on something that is actually pretty important- just having to be idle sometimes.
My kid use to go to a Christian K-12 school. They were not allowed to have electronics at school in any form for elementary. Middle schoolers did have to surrender their phones each day. Their homeroom teacher kept them in a big on her desk. They allowed them to use them for some activities, and she would bust them out then, but otherwise they stayed in the bin. I liked that.
His school now (a huge public middle school) if they are seen with the phone, it is taken away until the end of the day.
I'm going to read this with my kid. I don't think it will change his want to be on social media, but I think some of it is really good for him to see...especially the stuff about kids being on their phones more than average are less happy.
One of my 9 year old's classmates took his mother's phone and started his own instagram account last year. That was the story (of the mom) anyway; though she let him keep it! I clutched my pearls so tightly and was dumbfounded.
I actually feel that kids in elementary and middle school should surrender all phones at the beginning of the day and pick them up at the end and I would support a harsh punishment for rule breaking.
My sons middle school has a rule that phones are not allowed to be on during the school day. My son powers his off before homeroom and leaves in his bag in his locker. Then he turns it on at dismissal time. Calls to/from home must be made from the office during school hours. If they break the rule, phone is confiscated and a parent must pick it up from the office. I like it that way. I know he is not distracted in class. But he does need it for his after school sports. He traveled to other towns for meets and he is non verbal with adults so it is for safety for him. If he ever were to be seperated he would have a way to reach me.
I know I'm personally less happy the more I'm on my phone. There is a fine line between enjoying perusing the web mindlessly for a while do just decompress and spending too much time on it and hating yourself
I always feel better when I'm on the phone less and get more actual stuff accomplished.
I often feel that the fact I'm actually *somewhat* able to moderate my phone usage is due to my growing up without phones. Therefore I want to at least try to give my kids the ability to not be super addicted to phones. The later they get one the better chance they have IMO. Up until then they will be forced to either be idle, or perhaps read a book. I don't agree that giving it to them young and trying to help them "moderate" is the way to go.
Desire for social inclusion and a ferocious need to be liked and validated is too strong in humans and probably strongest in preteens and teenagers. Offering a tool that magnifies the effect of this seems like a bad idea to me, especially when the child is too young to be able to properly deal with it. (like trusting that an 11 year old girl has the capacity to make good decisions around social media usage and self-moderate)
One of the biggest concerns really is how bullying can become so pervasive in middle school- and there's nothing like social media to make people feel like they can be even shittier to each other and get that mob mentality going strong.
Post by Queen Mamadala on Nov 22, 2017 10:39:13 GMT -5
My 13 year old (in two weeks) shares a FB account with her sister that I have access to. I made it to help keep them to connected to their dad and his side of the family and my family once we moved away. They never really used it, and it wasn't until 6th grade that dd1 added two of her friends. And she still only has those two friends from her old school on FB and the rest is family.
It seems her friends preferred Instagram, which she joined toward the end of 6th grade, but couldn't get into it and was annoyed by a lot of the posts, so she deleted it. I believe three of her friends have it. She's only made one friend at her new school. The others are just acquaintances, as she says. I've asked her if she has any social media accounts and she hasn't asked.
I'm the person she interacts with the most on FB, and sometimes H. She hasn't done much with her drawing/gaming/stop motion youtube channel. She uses a pen name and avatars for all accounts except FB.
Post by definitelyO on Nov 22, 2017 10:41:59 GMT -5
DS is in 6th grade and is 11yrs old. I will say that probably 75% of his friends have Instagram. none that I know of have FB.
We let him get on Instagram about a month ago. His account is set to Private and I have full access to his account and check his phone weekly. His 6th grade teacher posts a ton of school stuff on there - so he follows her and a few other classmates.
ETA: DS has an iPhone that is only wifi enabled - so no data. Other kids have data and take their phones to school - but they are not allowed to use them during school time - they have to stay in their backpacks and if they take them out they get taken and held by the teacher until the end of the day is what I've been told.
I am so out of the loop. I swore to my parents I would never be, lol. I don't want my kids to grow up. Right now, my kids are too young. By the time they are teenagers, IG and Snapchat will be outdated. It's a good thing Google exists. My parents didn't have that.
I guess I disagree with "teaching them to moderate" and "certain rules being too strict". A rule is a rule. No social media at school means no social media at school. Aren't there other rules that can't be broken in school and that carry harsh repurcussions?
Why do we need "special" rules allowing our special snowflake children to have their instagram and snapchat at school, at 11 and 12 years old? I'm sorry but no. The world we live in is one where they will have those things as they grow up but hell if I agree with "moderating day time use of snapchat" for an 11 year old because it's "too hard" to notuse it at all between the hours of 9 and 3pm while in a schoolsetting.
I actually feel that kids in elementary and middle school should surrender all phones at the beginning of the day and pick them up at the end and I would support a harsh punishment for rule breaking.
An urgent message from a parent can be delivered the old fashioned way and their social media can wait.
I think kids growing up in this new high tech world, often lose out on something that is actually pretty important- just having to be idle sometimes.
Obviously, if that's the rule, I'm going to enforce it with my students and my own kids. My comment was more about the rule itself.
Look, I get it. I do. I have only anecdotal evidence here but since my school stopped "criminalizing" (for lack of a better word) cell phones and started educating about social media, usage has decreased. Issues that have come to my attention as an administrator have decreased (not ended, obvs). Parents are more on board. Kids are more on board. I don't allow kids to be on social media during the day (they can't actually have phones out during class unless teachers tell them to take them out) but they are learning to be more responsible and it's been positive for us. Who knows if this would be true in other schools (classes are pretty small, parents are generally on board with stuff, kids and teachers have a fairly close and trusting relationship), but it works for us.
"Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. On the outside, babies, you've got a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies-"God damn it, you've got to be kind.”
I actually feel that kids in elementary and middle school should surrender all phones at the beginning of the day and pick them up at the end and I would support a harsh punishment for rule breaking.
My sons middle school has a rule that phones are not allowed to be on during the school day. My son powers his off before homeroom and leaves in his bag in his locker. Then he turns it on at dismissal time. Calls to/from home must be made from the office during school hours. If they break the rule, phone is confiscated and a parent must pick it up from the office. I like it that way. I know he is not distracted in class. But he does need it for his after school sports. He traveled to other towns for meets and he is non verbal with adults so it is for safety for him. If he ever were to be seperated he would have a way to reach me.
This is also the rule at my son's middle school. I pick him up most days, so he only takes it to school if he is going home with a friend. And if he takes it to school, it is powered off before he leaves the house in the morning and stays in his backpack in his locker all day. I agree that this is a good policy.
Post by firedancer10288 on Nov 22, 2017 12:35:03 GMT -5
I teach 7th grade and I would say most of my students have some sort of social media (instagram, Snapchat, and YouTube are the ones I hear about the most). That said, my almost 11 year old will not have anything for as long as I can control it. Nothing good comes of it in my experience.
Post by ciescalove on Nov 22, 2017 12:42:49 GMT -5
My oldest has had an iphone since she was 6 and now has at least snapchat (she's 11). I had no say over either. Her father got them.
My other kids have tablets. The little kid ones that don't even let them get on the web without me accessing it. They are 5 and 2. I don't see either having their own phone until AT LEAST 13. And I don't know when I'll allow them to be on whatever social media platforms are out there when they're older.