Catholic school is back-firing on me

[cookiemdough]

DS- mommy! There was a huge spider on the basement steps.

Me - okay did daddy kill it?

DS - NO! Because it is God's creature we can't kill it. God will be upset.

Me- um, ok. I guess daddy can take it outside.

::hoping desperately that DH killed it while DS was talking to me::

Living with bugs is so not part of the deal.

[IIOY]

We've had that discussion. Catholic school has also turned my DD into is mini-Romney to my quasi-Obama.

DD: God built that house!

IIOY: No, construction workers built that house.

DD: God made our clothes!

IIOY: No, factory workers made our clothes.

DD: Maybe God made our car...?

IIOY: Child, God didn't build that!!

[cookiemdough]

Lol!

[copzgirl1171]

You all are dead wrong. My grandma had me believing this shit fell from the sky...I think she may have bribed me with cookies to buy it, but still.

[MixedBerryJam]

My now-14 year old explained to me once that Jesus is a zombie, you know, because he's undead. Also, after taking a snack for the car after a first holy communion class, I look in the rear view mirror, and he has it in his hands, arm raised, blessing it like the priest does in church. I nearly drove off the road.

Ima burn in hell.

[4speedy]

Ok, now that we are just sharing random funny catholic school stories,I can retell one about my daughter. DD was saying a prayer to the VIRGIN Mary and said, "Version most pure, pray for us...". I asked her what she meant by "Version most pure" and she explained that there are a lot of Marys in the world and some are pure and some aren't. So we want to make sure we pray to the version who IS pure. I let it ride like that for the whole year because I didn't want to have to explain to a 5 year old what a virgin is.