Oh man, having a sick baby is stressful! I’m sorry. My H and I had some of our worst arguments when the kids are sick.
Did they check her ears yesterday? Was the ear infection gone? This could just be a new virus. It’s so hard to tell with little ones. If she’s breathing ok I might just wait for the dr to call.
The pedi checked and said it's in both ears.
When MH called he said he wasn't planning on taking her in, and said she's breathing OK. And bitched for about the tenth time today that he called the doc this morning and still has not heard back.
Oh man, I'm sorry. It really sucks that your H is making this more stressful than it already is.
Just to throw my 2 cents in, if she's been on abx for 9 days and still has a 102 fever, I'd be concerned. I'd bring her back it and have them check ears again and do whatever tests they can. You are absolutely allowed to be "That Mom"!! You are advocating for your child. I hope your pedi it taking your concerns seriously. ANd if you aren't happy with them, by all means change doctors. You need to be comfortable with your DD's care.
I totally get this. The first winter DD was in daycare, was so awful. She went in at 12 months and prior to that, had only ever had mild colds. But man the daycare illnesses SUCK! DD got a double EI right away and we needed 3 courses of ABX to clear it out. And I was doing exactly what you are doing, freaking out about whether I jsut needed to wait it out or if I was being overprotective or whatever. I learned really quickly: when in doubt, go to the doctor. I'd rather have her tested and find out it is negative than worry about waiting too long. My doctor is very reassuring and she never made me feel bad for bringing her in. It is good to trust your instincts and you are learning, so go easy on yourself.
The first winter was really tough but everyone tells me it gets better!
ETA: are you waiting for a call from your specific pedi or a nurse? DD's office has a nurse line you can call and they are supposed to call you back quickly. If they don't call back, I've called in again. If you keep calling in, eventually they prioritize you just to get rid of you! If you are waiting for a call from the doctor, they probably don't have time during the day and will start making calls after they are done seeing patients for the day. I've never gotten a call from my actual pedi, I usually just talk to the nurses and then they tell me whether or not I should bring DD in.
are you waiting for a call from your specific pedi or a nurse?
MH said he called and left a message with the front desk clerk, then called again later in the day and they said the pedi was with a patient and would call him back. Usually it's a nurse or a clerk we speak to.
He's been saying for days that it's not good that she's been on abx and is still getting a fever ... which is why when he texted about wanting an RSV swab and I texted back that he still had an hour to take her in and then he called me all pissy, I was angry and confused. WTF DO YOU WANT FROM ME.
are you waiting for a call from your specific pedi or a nurse?
MH said he called and left a message with the front desk clerk, then called again later in the day and they said the pedi was with a patient and would call him back. Usually it's a nurse or a clerk we speak to.
He's been saying for days that it's not good that she's been on abx and is still getting a fever ... which is why when he texted about wanting an RSV swab and I texted back that he still had an hour to take her in and then he called me all pissy, I was angry and confused. WTF DO YOU WANT FROM ME.
That's so annoying. Does he need you to TELL HIM to take her in? Sometimes I feel like my H is afraid to make decisions and he needs me to do them for him. Which is really annoying, especially if he's the one home with her. When DD was younger, I think it was part of the stereotype that the "mom" knows better. We had a lot of talks about that in the beginning, about how it is not fair to put all that pressure on me.
MH said he called and left a message with the front desk clerk, then called again later in the day and they said the pedi was with a patient and would call him back. Usually it's a nurse or a clerk we speak to.
He's been saying for days that it's not good that she's been on abx and is still getting a fever ... which is why when he texted about wanting an RSV swab and I texted back that he still had an hour to take her in and then he called me all pissy, I was angry and confused. WTF DO YOU WANT FROM ME.
That's so annoying. Does he need you to TELL HIM to take her in? Sometimes I feel like my H is afraid to make decisions and he needs me to do them for him. Which is really annoying, especially if he's the one home with her. When DD was younger, I think it was part of the stereotype that the "mom" knows better. We had a lot of talks about that in the beginning, about how it is not fair to put all that pressure on me.
We've had many arguments about this, even before DD got here ... he doesn't like making decisions. I also feel like he's very unclear about what he wants and I have to play guessing games to figure it out, and I feel like I'm never right anyway.
This isn't really a question as much as it is a vent, my 3.5 year old is so strong willed and is so much more defiant than my older child ever was at this age. Its exhausting. If you have a child like this, what are your tricks or tips for getting them to cooperate with anything? I threatened bedtime a lot, which I know you aren't supposed to do but its really the only thing I can think of. Sometimes I threaten to take away toys. Its for basic stuff, like me telling her not to do/touch/go in something and he doing it anyway with a big smile on her face.
My kid (also 3) is incredibly strong-willed and wild. He really doesn't give a shit about anything, except for his toys. So, toys (and usually a lot of them) are almost always on time out. I put all time out toys on top of the fridge or on the other side of the gate, so that he can see them and remembers the time-out situation. I'll take them away in natural situations (like, hit me with the car again and you lose it - which happened twice just tonight) but I'll also use it as a general threat (stop with the screaming or I'm going to start choosing toys for time out until you stop).
The second half of time-out toys, is that he has to earn them back. My preference is always to avoid defiant situations by suggesting an earning potential situation, which often works. So "go to sleep nicely without any messing around, and you can get 2 toys off time out in the morning" or "brush your teeth and get PJs on and you can get your basketballs back" or whatever. Because he almost always has toys in time out, he's almost always willing to try to work to get them back. If he's being nice, he can also ask to help me with chores to earn back more toys.
I'm a pretty mean mom, so maybe this sounds awful. LOL. It really does work, though, at least 75% of the time.
ETA - I just remembered another one: I also "race" him a lot. I race him up the stairs, out to the car, putting PJs on, going the most pee in the potty, etc. I'll tell him he's racing strangers at the store to see who can put on their seatbelt the fastest. Anything that can be a race, usually works. He actually doesn't even care about "winning" but just likes the competition. He also likes funny races, like racing the cats to see who can put shoes on first.
dcn, at age 2 or 3, are they able to play independently or at least not have to hover and watch them like a hawk compared to a crawling baby?
I know dcn already weighed in, but I think you can take steps to increase their ability to play independently even now. Setting them up in a nice, child-proof space that is gated or has a door that can close. Spend time with them in that space. Gradually start to leave for longer periods of time--refill your coffee cup at first, then fold laundry, then sip a cuppa while you meal plan in another room or stare at a wall in grateful silence.
We took her to the local p.m. pediatrics yesterday when I got home from work because she looks pretty miserable and she went from 99° to 102 pretty quick. They were really nice and spent a lot of time with her, did the swabs for RSV and the flu, and the nurse suctioned her out several times. They said it’s probably just some other virus and hopefully it will break this weekend. In the meantime they said to give her Motrin because she’s only one week away from six months old. The regular pediatrician didn’t call MH Back until after 5 PM and didn’t really have much to say, and the PM pediatrics place said that she does not have an ear infection, so We’re pretty frustrated with them. Will probably start looking for someone else. I’m home with C today and she’s in good spirits and the Motrin Is keeping her temperature normal, She’s very snotty so I have to keep suctioning her out.
We took her to the local p.m. pediatrics yesterday when I got home from work because she looks pretty miserable and she went from 99° to 102 pretty quick. They were really nice and spent a lot of time with her, did the swabs for RSV and the flu, and the nurse suctioned her out several times. They said it’s probably just some other virus and hopefully it will break this weekend. In the meantime they said to give her Motrin because she’s only one week away from six months old. The regular pediatrician didn’t call MH Back until after 5 PM and didn’t really have much to say, and the PM pediatrics place said that she does not have an ear infection, so We’re pretty frustrated with them. Will probably start looking for someone else. I’m home with C today and she’s in good spirits and the Motrin Is keeping her temperature normal, She’s very snotty so I have to keep suctioning her out.
I am glad the Motrin is helping - plus it has a longer half life which I found has helped more than Tylenol. Sorry to hear that your pedi appears to be dropping the ball / letting you down. I would look for elsewhere as well given their history with her these past few weeks.
I hope you both can get some good naps in today <3
My sick baby question. We have an inhaler for DD. She has a cold or other respiratory virus, so we've been using it every night. Around 5-6 AM, she'll start that awful "can't catch a breath" coughing for a minute or two and then fall back asleep. Let her sleep? Wake her up and use the inhaler this borking her entire day? My doctor's advice of "Just use it when you feel she needs it" is not helpful. My kid's pain tolerance must be through the roof, because I never notice she's having trouble breathing until I'm getting her dressed/undressed and see chest retractions and feel like the worst parent.
mskitkat, if she is able to go back to sleep, then I would let her be. Can you give it to her once she wakes up for the day (presumably, that is not too much later)?
We took her to the local p.m. pediatrics yesterday when I got home from work because she looks pretty miserable and she went from 99° to 102 pretty quick. They were really nice and spent a lot of time with her, did the swabs for RSV and the flu, and the nurse suctioned her out several times. They said it’s probably just some other virus and hopefully it will break this weekend. In the meantime they said to give her Motrin because she’s only one week away from six months old. The regular pediatrician didn’t call MH Back until after 5 PM and didn’t really have much to say, and the PM pediatrics place said that she does not have an ear infection, so We’re pretty frustrated with them. Will probably start looking for someone else. I’m home with C today and she’s in good spirits and the Motrin Is keeping her temperature normal, She’s very snotty so I have to keep suctioning her out.
I'm sorry you're dealing with this, both with your DD and with your H. We switched pediatricians when my DS was a few months old and it was absolutely the right call. They seemed to have a hard time with basic diagnoses. Flash forward a month and my kid is having surgery and the surgeon asked are you still at X practice? We said we left and he had this funny look pass quickly over his face that made it clear we'd made the right move. I prodded him for info and he said the group used to be good but had really gone downhill and he thought it was right that we'd left.
I have 2 kids and would absolutely be concerned with a 6 month old having a fever and being miserable that long. You're doing a great job as her mom watching out for her.
mskitkat , if she is able to go back to sleep, then I would let her be. Can you give it to her once she wakes up for the day (presumably, that is not too much later)?
MOOKs: My 7 year old is on the babyish side -- prefers younger children, prefers younger children's toys, etc. He has some mental health and behavioral challenges that have added to his socializing problems (ETA: but no cognitive or developmental disability problems) , which also pushes him toward younger kids. Also, his only sibling is barely 5.
Question is, should I shy away from buying him toys I know he'll like even if they're younger? He loves Shopkins and Moana, and I gpt him shopkins for hanukkah and put this on his Amazon gift list:
mskitkat, if she is able to go back to sleep, then I would let her be. Can you give it to her once she wakes up for the day (presumably, that is not too much later)?
This morning, she seemed fine when she woke up for the day. No retractions, no wheezing, so I didn't give it to her. It's entirely possible this was the wrong decision? I have no experience with asthma.
mskitkat , if she is able to go back to sleep, then I would let her be. Can you give it to her once she wakes up for the day (presumably, that is not too much later)?
This morning, she seemed fine when she woke up for the day. No retractions, no wheezing, so I didn't give it to her. It's entirely possible this was the wrong decision? I have no experience with asthma.
I think you're fine. We treat based on symptoms and since she had none, there was nothing to treat. Don't second guess yourself, you're doing a great job!
ohgillian, my kid is younger so I don’t have direct experience, but if he loves a toy, I would let him have it even if it’s technically for younger kids. Let him be happy! Unless his friends would make fun of him or something, but even then, he is who he is and I’d want to encourage him to pursue his own interests regardless of what “society” says he should be doing.