Ok, since the teacher and the principal are dickholes, the only thing you can do is give X a big hug and tell him you are proud of him no matter what and that he doesn't need to be afraid to tell you anything.
I know how you feel. I worry that I'm breaking S's weird little spirit sometimes. I go into his room at night and hug him while he's asleep bc I feel like a shit mother. You're not alone.
Thank god you said this. I do this more often than I'd like to admit. I yell and scream and carry on about "eat your dinner!", "Do your homework. Your homework. NOW.", "get to bed!" then I feel like shit when I see them sleeping like, you know, the little kids they are
OP: what a terrible situation. Agree with the "try your best and we love you" talks and getting through.
"Hello babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. On the outside, babies, you've got a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies-"God damn it, you've got to be kind.”
A second grade teacher who has no techniques to help a kid focus should be getting an F, not the kid. For fucks sake.
Even if all she does is abdicate responsibility and suggest you have him take yoga, or meditate, or whatever, she should have *something* in her back pocket.
Have you asked about those wiggly seats? or some sort of pocket fidget? Or whatever?
I have a wiggly kid and both teachers have had techniques to help her focus better and other kids have been allowed to use fidgets.
Post by flamingeaux on Dec 4, 2017 18:12:05 GMT -5
Honestly to beat the dead cliche horse. I would use this as a learning moment as much as possible. Sometimes, no matter how hard we try things just don't work out and some people just suck, and it's okay to fail sometimes as long as you are giving it your best effort. But part of giving your best effort is being open and honest when you are struggling so you can get all the help you can.
A second grade teacher who has no techniques to help a kid focus should be getting an F, not the kid. For fucks sake.
Even if all she does is abdicate responsibility and suggest you have him take yoga, or meditate, or whatever, she should have *something* in her back pocket.
Have you asked about those wiggly seats? or some sort of pocket fidget? Or whatever?
I have a wiggly kid and both teachers have had techniques to help her focus better and other kids have been allowed to use fidgets.
They don’t allow fidgets at all and this is the first year I’ve ever been told his attention span is an issue. He can be wiggly but no more than any other of his friends that we see often. I think she’s old and doesn’t give a shit and it’s easier to give up. She does have what’s called flexible seating but I don’t know how she implements it for the kids that need it. She expects the kids to move themselves to it, per her beginning of the year paperwork.
ETA: i will say that I have seen sometimes he doesn’t pay attention at home and when I asked his teacher if he should be referred to our pedi she said no, it wasn’t that bad.
Last Edit: Dec 4, 2017 18:30:12 GMT -5 by Leeham Rimes
I need ham like water Like breath, like rain I need ham like mercy From Heaven's gate Sometimes ham salad or casserole or ham that’s free range, all natural I need ham
Almost all 2nd graders have focus problems. They’re still little! It’s the teachers job to help them. Giving an F is not helping. And what kind of ducking school still gives F’s to 2nd graders.
2nd graders should be excited to come home and show you the things they have done in school that day. Not scared to show you a (WTF?) F grade.
Do you have private schools that might have space now or next year? Most have endowments and funds for scholarships if you would be interested in pursuing that option.
This teacher is a jerk for potentially negatively impacting his self esteem and ruining the chance to love learning.
Post by snapoutofit on Dec 4, 2017 21:11:03 GMT -5
Yeah, the teacher is the one getting an F here.
Rocco struggled so so much in 2nd grade with the same things. Lack of focus in classroom work. He did well on his homework (I never checked answers, just that it was all filled in) but could not sit still and focus during “class work” time. He would be in tears about his unfinished work folder. He did not like his teacher and neither did I. He said she was so mean and unforgiving. My heart would break for him watching him cry over this.
I’m sorry if this has been covered but have you talked to his classmates’ parents? Or any parents of older kids who had this same teacher? Because I did when Rocco was struggling and I got pretty much he same story from all of them and it wasn’t good. He’s a different kid this year.
Is there a school counseloror psychologist he can talk to about strategies to focus or cope with his stress over this? With Rocco, a lot of it came down to time management (which is nearly impossible for kids that age). The school psychologist gave him some tools to manage his stress and anxiety about it ( breathing exercises, putting the unfinished work folder in his desk during classroom work time so he wouldn’t see it sitting there filled with papers etc...). Idk if that is applicable here. The whole education system is a mystery to me.
This teacher sucks. How can she be ok with making a young child feel like shit? I do not enjoy doing report cards because we have a pretty rigid grading system (1-4), and I have to give a lot of 1’s out to kids and I worry they’ll feel bad or dumb or whatever. I’m a softie. I do always make sure to leave really positive comments for the kids who get “bad” grades but work hard. They are canned comments, but I can find a positive one for any situation as long as the kid is trying, likes learning, etc.
If you pull your kid to homeschool send a detailed letter to the superintendent and board!
Post by textbookcase on Dec 4, 2017 21:56:41 GMT -5
I really hate this school...it seems like the whole thing just sucks! I'm sorry. You're a great mom, you're not a failure at all. This shit is hard, man.
I worked for Florida Virtual School before I moved, and if you go the homeschooling route, I highly recommend it. They are very child/student focused, communication with parents is non-negotiable, and relatively competitive to get a job and there.
I’ve been following this. X’s teacher and principal are loons. “Needs improvement” or a call to home before/meetings about what everyone can do to help the child succeed are the things to do. Not D’s & F’s, essentially killing his love of school. I wouldn’t want to go either.
I hope you decide to do home schooling, even temporarily, until you find a school that fits him best. This one sucks and he needs out ASAP. You can always have his friends over or make plans to hang out when you’re free, but this definitely IS NOT YOU and is not good for his mental health in 2nd grade!!
2) in my state, there is an online charter school option. the kids spend however many hours per day with a teacher online. I don't know if this is actually helpful in your state, but if it is I would strongly consider it. I have no confidence in my own ability to homeschool, but if it comes down to it I know that this cyber school is a FREE option.
If you’re concerned about his focus, I would still call the pedi. She is obviously a loon so I wouldn’t trust her to tell you the sky is blue. Failing a second grader is ridiculous.
My school aged kiddo is in 5th and even still, if he doesn’t do well on an assignment, the teacher breaks them into small groups and goes over the things they need help with to be sure they’re actually understanding the issue. If that isn’t happening, it is NOT your fault at all. Maybe you can sit with him in the evenings with his assignments that he doesn’t do well on and go over them with him if she won’t.
And when you leave the school, I would probably light the whole school up wherever you can. I’m not sure if there’s a state agency you can report the principal to for her failure to handle the bullying or if it’s just the superintendent but it doesn’t sound like she is handling her job well either.
My daughter’s adhd didn’t manifest in fidgeting, but she was COMPLETELY disorganized, and scatterbrained.
She would also just tune out during school, but look like she was paying attention.
So maybe there’s some of that going on as well.
This describes my brother perfectly at that age, and kinda still. He wasn't hyperactive at all, but he was extremely disorganized and couldn't concentrate. He was diagnosed with ADD. He wasn't prescribed medication, but I can't remember what "tools" he was given to help.
Now, he has his masters, and while it pains me to say this, he is more successful than me. He is still extremely disorganized.
You aren't failing. If you are noticing that he is having trouble concentrating on things, take him to the pedi. It can't hurt.