I swear I work in a sitcom. Two things:

[vanillacourage]

1. Two employees have small fishtanks at their desk. On three occasions at night or on the weekends, someone has dumped an entire can of fish food in the tank. One of the employees asked the COO to mention something to housekeeping - NBD, just "hey, don't mess with the fish, thanks". The COO wants to set up a hidden camera in her office to catch who's doing it. Did I mention that this employee travels so frequently that her office is the de facto pumping room for nursing moms? Awesome.

2. Yesterday in-between meetings a plate of cookies sitting on the counter on the main conference room got half-eaten. This email went out from administration and no he is not being facetious.

From: X
Sent: Thursday, May 17, 2012 4:35 PM
To: Allstaff
Subject: Cookie Bandit - Respecting each other



To all,



We just had someone who went into Conference Room D and took plateful of cookies. This was meant for a meeting later this evening. This is NOT acceptable. You cannot assume everything is community property.



I will find out who the recipient is. PLEASE, anyone with any knowledge, please come to me. I will keep things confidential.



We have had other items missing. I am investigating and I will find the culprit. This behavior is wrong and boorish. I ask all of you to keep your eyes open and ears listening. Together, we will find this individual!



Again, this is NOT acceptable.

-X

[Deleted]

LOL

I totally feel for you, my office is similiar. My boss sends out e-mails about food in the kitchen all the time. She once threatened to fire someone over a two liter of Mountain Dew.

[iamali]

You can't go wrong with using the word boorish in a email.

[aspentosh]

I have no words.

[pugz]

who stole the cookies from the cookie jar?

you have a cookie monster on the loose!

[SuziSaysDa]

Wow, at least things are entertaining in your office. Just don't leave anything out or it will disappear.

[Pom]

Wow, doesn't anyone have more important issues around there?

[rikki]

My previous executive director would spend his time sending emails and videos about how to plunge toilets (and noting that even women should plunge toilets), proper vacuum techniques, and how to load the dishwasher. He once spent a whole day organizing the supply closet and sent a memo that we had 400 red pens, 954 highlighters, 5,646 binder clips, 200 blue folders, etc.

[libbride]

I'd expect a plate of cookies left on the counter to be open to anyone, unless there is a note saying otherwise.

Crazy email, though!

[Nonny]

At my office unattended food in a public space that is obviously not labeled for a specific meeting is fair game. If the cookies were intended for a specific event they shouldn't have been put out until then (because really, who leaves cookies out all day?).

[shortstax]

I need an update!!! Did the culprit turn themselves in yet?!?!

lol

[jenn248]

May 18, 2012 11:30:33 GMT -5 Nonny said:

At my office unattended food in a public space that is obviously not labeled for a specific meeting is fair game. If the cookies were intended for a specific event they shouldn't have been put out until then (because really, who leaves cookies out all day?).

This.