If you travel for work,

[tiki]

How do you cover daycare pickup/dropoff when you're away? DD is 5 mo and started daycare Jan 2, with H doing dropoffs and me doing pickups. Unfortunately my job just keeps scheduling me for more and more business trips, at a higher frequency than usual, and some are 4-5 nights long (international, or a conference). I feel awful for H who has to figure out how to get the kid both to and from since we don't have family nearby who could help out. Daycare is already SO expensive, do I need to suck it up and also have babysitters on-call? How do other people manage this?

[Velar Fricative]

DH just handles everything, but he has predictable work hours. The kids just have to get dropped off earlier than usual. If he had unpredictable hours or if he had an evening work event while I was traveling, we’d arrange for a babysitter too.

[ewall]

DH does all drop offs and most pick ups due to my travel. He has a predictable schedule where he is in the office every day.

[ewall]

For the weeklong trips, we do as much prep beforehand as possible. Plenty of food on hand and meal prep, laundry caught up. I expect the bare minimum on those weeks - keep himself and the kid alive, we will deal with the aftermath i.e. any house mess on the weekend.

[tiki]

For those where one person does both, how many hours can your LO stay at daycare? 30 min is too tight to get from actively working to picking up, so for H to work a normal 9-5 day, we'd need daycare from 8-6, or 10 hours, right? Full time at our center is only 9 hours.

[magpie]

I don't travel for work, but my husband does sometimes as it's pretty challenging for me to correct his role of daycare drop off. We usually hire our sitters to come over and drive them at 7:20am, right when I leave for work. It's a pain because of carseats (I usually all them to come by a day or two before for ten minutes so that I can install the seats). I start work at 7:30am and often can't arrange to go in any later because if morning duties (I work at a school...that's when kids start getting dropped off), so I'd have to rush the kids in really early/wake them up early otherwise.

[starburst]

Our daycare is open from 6:30-6:00 and kids can stay from open to close, doesn't matter how many hours. My H does drop off because I work early. When H travels, I have to do drop off, so DS gets there around when they open and I get to work later than usual.

[VillainV]

Jan 30, 2018 6:59:22 GMT -5 tiki said:

For those where one person does both, how many hours can your LO stay at daycare? 30 min is too tight to get from actively working to picking up, so for H to work a normal 9-5 day, we'd need daycare from 8-6, or 10 hours, right? Full time at our center is only 9 hours.

We’ve been to some centers that had a ten-hour limit, but most haven’t had any limit (and are open for 12 hours). 9 hours seems really limiting.

Fortunately my H and I both have flexible work schedules so pick up and drop off aren’t an issue when either of us is out of town. Can you talk to your employer about the frequency of trips? Maybe they can reduce the number of trips or compensate you more to cover extra child care costs associated with frequent trips. Or your H could talk to his employer about working shorter days when you’re gone and make up the time when you’re home (or let him put in some time at home after the kids are asleep or whatever).

[CrazyLucky]

When one of us travels, the other does both pick up and drop off. I'd be frustrated if I were you about the 9 hour limit. I haven't heard of any daycare doing that. We were at one with a 10 hour limit, and even that was difficult sometimes because we have a 45 minute commute.
Did you "sign up" for this much travel? DH recently took a job that involves more travel and we talked about some of the repercussions of that. So for example, if he's gone the whole week, I'll have a babysitter over twice so I can go to the gym (or get a hot fudge sundae by myself!). It sounds like you may need to set up a babysitter for the days your DH can't make it.

[ewall]

9 hours is tight! Our center is 10.5 hours. With 9 hours, you probably do need some sort of back up care for pick up.

[Velar Fricative]

Jan 30, 2018 6:59:22 GMT -5 tiki said:

For those where one person does both, how many hours can your LO stay at daycare? 30 min is too tight to get from actively working to picking up, so for H to work a normal 9-5 day, we'd need daycare from 8-6, or 10 hours, right? Full time at our center is only 9 hours.

That is rough, especially in or around a big city given traffic and commuting! Daycare is open at 6:15 am and closes at 7:00 pm and if they needed to stay the whole time, they could. I would definitely arrange for someone else to do dropoff or pickup in your situation.

[momin2013]

Yeah, I think he 9 hour limit is what makes this difficult; you may need to hire someone to be able to call schedule them to do pick-up when you're away.

Having no local family to depend on for this sort of stuff sucks. We're in this boat and it can be difficult sometimes to do everything without having occasional back-up.

[dcn]

If h is gone I do both. Our center is open 5:30-6 though and there’s no limit. I mean, I work 8-5 so there’s no way I could only have them there for 9 hours.

[kershnic]

Is this travel a long term reality? I know daycare hours are often a local culture issue so you may not have a choice, but I would really want to explore whether other daycare have better hours before committing to that many babysitter hours or stress on your h.

Our daycare is open 7:30-6:30, use whatever you need. I live in an area where long commutes are common.

[scm1011]

Jan 30, 2018 6:59:22 GMT -5 tiki said:

For those where one person does both, how many hours can your LO stay at daycare? 30 min is too tight to get from actively working to picking up, so for H to work a normal 9-5 day, we'd need daycare from 8-6, or 10 hours, right? Full time at our center is only 9 hours.

Ours is 9 hours too (I think that's standard where we live). Our center charges $25 extra a week if you go beyond the 9 hours, so the weeks I travel we just pay that, since DH cannot get there at 4pm when I normally pick-up. Does your center offer an extra fee for using a longer day?

[tiki]

Jan 30, 2018 8:05:08 GMT -5 scm1011 said:

Jan 30, 2018 6:59:22 GMT -5 tiki said:

For those where one person does both, how many hours can your LO stay at daycare? 30 min is too tight to get from actively working to picking up, so for H to work a normal 9-5 day, we'd need daycare from 8-6, or 10 hours, right? Full time at our center is only 9 hours.

Ours is 9 hours too (I think that's standard where we live). Our center charges $25 extra a week if you go beyond the 9 hours, so the weeks I travel we just pay that, since DH cannot get there at 4pm when I normally pick-up. Does your center offer an extra fee for using a longer day?

Yes, we could pay more to be scheduled for overtime care. We're already at about $3k/mo, though so I am really, really trying to avoid that.  Honestly I think the long-term solution will be me getting a new job. 

[scm1011]

Jan 30, 2018 8:11:17 GMT -5 tiki said:

Jan 30, 2018 8:05:08 GMT -5 scm1011 said:

Ours is 9 hours too (I think that's standard where we live). Our center charges $25 extra a week if you go beyond the 9 hours, so the weeks I travel we just pay that, since DH cannot get there at 4pm when I normally pick-up. Does your center offer an extra fee for using a longer day?

Yes, we could pay more to be scheduled for overtime care. We're already at about $3k/mo, though so I am really, really trying to avoid that.  Honestly I think the long-term solution will be me getting a new job. 

I hear you. Your center is crazy pricey as it is, so I'd be resistant to paying even more as well. Luckily for us I only take one 2-3 day trip a quarter.

[luckystar2]

Our center never had a limit on hours. That is not the norm here. Our center was open like 6am to 6:30pm or something about that. Dh is the one who would sometimes travel and I’d have to do drop off and pickup. 9 hours is ridiculous IMO. Our daycare wasn’t too far from my work and we don’t have much traffic but I’d find 9 hours impossible. I work 8 hours plus a non paid half hour lunch (can’t skip). So I am at work 8.5 hours. With travel time I’d probably just barely make 9 hours. But luckily our center did not care at all about how many hours. There were people who dropped off at opening and picked up at closing.

[snowflurry]

H works nights so when I travel, the kids stay with the ILs and they handle pretty much all dropoffs/pickups from school.

[clseale]

DH typically does both. Our center is open from 6:30-6:30, but thanks to DH's flexible hours, she's usually only there from 8:00-4:30. They don't have any limit on hours.

Can your DH bring/work through lunch and take off an hour early?

[Susie]

Our usual is me doing drop off and H doing pickup, and yes, when I travel he just has to do it all.  It happens less often, but when roles are reversed I do it all.

It's not like you're going on vacation.  If it's an actual logistical problem and he can't do it, then yes you'll need to figure out another solution.  But if it's just "feeling awful" about him having to do it, that's part of dadding when mom has to work.

ETA:  daycare at our center is also 9 hours for full time.  That seems pretty standard around here.  That's why we bucked the usual MMM gospel of choosing a daycare near home, and instead chose one near work.  We're having some struggles with that daycare that I have posted about (parking, security, etc.) but it's hard to give up the downtown location.

[joy]

My husband travels and I do both drop off and pick up. Our center is open 7:30am to 6pm with no time limit per day.

We do have two baby sitters who pick up our daughter two days a week, too. They are SO helpful. If you’re stressed by working hours and pick up, this option is awesome. I love them.

[ssmjlm]

DH just has to do it all. The biggest issue is he can't go in early as he usually leaves for work at 5:30. Normally he adjusts a bit by staying until 4:30 instead of 4, but there's no limit on hours.

[preppy]

We both travel for work - DH more than me. If one of us can’t do pickup when the other travels we either pay for extended care that day or have my mom pick up. Our daycare hours are 8:30-5:30 then you can pay for extended care as needed by the day for 7:30am to 6:30pm.

Does he have the option to WFH at all? What really helps us is not having a commute when DH travels so I wonder if he could ask to WFH those days?

[icedcoffee]

Our center is open 6:30-6:30 so that helps a lot (although---I feel bad picking him up past 6 because the teachers give me death stares LOL).

I WFH once a week so I sometimes try to shift that day to whatever day my H is away, but if he's gone for a full week obviously that doesn't work. It's hard because I have a 70-90 minute commute, but we make it work thanks to the extended hours of our daycare. Otherwise, I'd need to hire help.

I feel bad because 12 hours in daycare is a lot, but mama's gotta work!

ETA:  There's never as issue if I travel because DH works from home.  I suppose he could have late meetings or something, but it's rare.  

[gt7301b]

I usually do drop off and my husband does pick up. If one of us has a conflict the other just flexes their schedule. My husband is a teacher, so 4-5 morning drop offs would be difficult, as he is supposed to be at school before the kids get there. He has a co-teacher in the room first block so he lets them know that he will be cutting it close on those days. Our center has a 10 hour rule, but they are pretty flexible. If they weren't flexible a few minutes on either side I would probably skip lunch those days to make sure that I make it on time.

[noodleoo]

Jan 30, 2018 8:05:08 GMT -5 scm1011 said:

Jan 30, 2018 6:59:22 GMT -5 tiki said:

For those where one person does both, how many hours can your LO stay at daycare? 30 min is too tight to get from actively working to picking up, so for H to work a normal 9-5 day, we'd need daycare from 8-6, or 10 hours, right? Full time at our center is only 9 hours.

Ours is 9 hours too (I think that's standard where we live). Our center charges $25 extra a week if you go beyond the 9 hours, so the weeks I travel we just pay that, since DH cannot get there at 4pm when I normally pick-up. Does your center offer an extra fee for using a longer day?

Really?  Our center is open 7 to 6 PM (so 11 hours) and that's actually a little less than most of the others we looked at.  Most are open 6 AM to 6 or 6:30 PM.  Maybe in the suburbs they know people may have a longer commute into the city.  

I don't think H could do both dropoff and pickup due to his long commute.  If this isn't unusual, I would look at hiring a part time sitter to do drop off or pickup.

ETA: I've never heard of limiting hours even if the center is open longer.  Is that what you mean?

[mpc]

If he really can't make it to pick up within the 9 hour timeframe then you might have to do the math on whether it makes more sense to pay for a babysitter/pickup type person or pay for the extra time at the daycare. Are you close with another parent who could bring your kid home with them?

Our center does not have a time limit, so we have not run into this problem. Does yours keep close track every day? Would they notice if you ended up using an extra 20 minutes one day?

[janegold]

H travels constantly, most days of the week, and I just do everything. Daycare is open 8-6.

I will say that it is causing a good deal of resentment on my part, so make sure that you are both on board with whatever arrangement you come up with.

[scm1011]

Jan 30, 2018 9:29:44 GMT -5 noodleoo said:

Jan 30, 2018 8:05:08 GMT -5 scm1011 said:

Ours is 9 hours too (I think that's standard where we live). Our center charges $25 extra a week if you go beyond the 9 hours, so the weeks I travel we just pay that, since DH cannot get there at 4pm when I normally pick-up. Does your center offer an extra fee for using a longer day?

Really?  Our center is open 7 to 6 PM (so 11 hours) and that's actually a little less than most of the others we looked at.  Most are open 6 AM to 6 or 6:30 PM.  Maybe in the suburbs they know people may have a longer commute into the city.  

I don't think H could do both dropoff and pickup due to his long commute.  If this isn't unusual, I would look at hiring a part time sitter to do drop off or pickup.

ETA: I've never heard of limiting hours even if the center is open longer.  Is that what you mean?

Our center is open 7-6 as well, but tuition only includes 9 hours of care a day. You're charged extra if you go over 9 hours. Its standard practice in Boston/Cambridge/Somerville, or at least in all the centers I looked at. tiki lives down the street from me. Finding daycare is tough around here, so they basically call the shots.