Remember when an artist "restored" the Jesus painting?

[scm1011]

I'm dealing with a similar situation. If you don't remember what I'm talking about, a woman "restored" a famous painting of Jesus and turned him into a giant sloth:

DH and I went to SF last week and left DS with my sister. During that time, Cal's beloved Monkey had a run in with my sister's dog, who gave him a bit of a face-ectomy. Cal keeps reaching for Monkey, seeing his face, and freaking out.

I posted this SOS on my local mom's FB group, asking if anyone could help restore Monkey to (close) to his former self. A woman reached out, said she was a seamstress and would be happy to make Monkey as good as new. After further back and forth, she assure me she could make him look like his old self. Phew!

I get this picture update today. OMG.

This looks NOTHING like original Monkey. WTF. Now I have to pay her for her services AND buy a new monkey.

[icedcoffee]

LOL---I think he's kinda cute. His brown fur seems longer in the new version somehow.

[clseale]

OMG. I'm so sorry, but I cackled when I saw your picture. I mean...I guess what she could do (considering fabric is missing) is limited, but way to over promise, lady. Have you tried showing the new monkey to Cal? Or are you afraid it will traumatize him? LOL I'm really sorry.

ETA: I keep looking at it and I'm baffled. Why didn't she try and use the same buttons for the eyes? WHAT DID SHE DO TO HIS NOSE? You could argue that this is far from what she promised and reach an agreement on a reduced fee.

[scm1011]

Feb 26, 2018 8:50:33 GMT -5 clseale said:

OMG. I'm so sorry, but I cackled when I saw your picture. I mean...I guess what she could do (considering fabric is missing) is limited, but way to over promise, lady. Have you tried showing the new monkey to Cal? Or are you afraid it will traumatize him? LOL I'm really sorry.

ETA: I keep looking at it and I'm baffled. Why didn't she try and use the same buttons for the eyes? WHAT DID SHE DO TO HIS NOSE? You could argue that this is far from what she promised and reach an agreement on a reduced fee.

RIGHT?!!!!

I mean, he's a cute little monkey, but he's completely different.
I will not show the new Monkey to Cal out of fear I'll re-traumatize him.

We didn't talk price beforehand, but I told her I'd pay $10 afterward. Because c'mon. All I said regarding the finished product was "oh wow! thanks". lol.

[gigem]

Hahahaha I am sorry to laugh but the fixed up monkey is too funny and looks nothing like the original and is slightly terrifying me when compared to the simple face of the original .

I’m am so sorry for your monkey, will it be easy to find a replacement?

[raangoli]

OMG I am so sorry, but that is pretty funny if it weren't C's favorite. Is there any way we can help you scour the web to find a new monkey? Is there a manufacturer name on the tag or something?

[scm1011]

gigem, yes I already ordered a replacement on Amazon. I felt I owed it to Monkey to try to make it right, but clearly I made things worse!

(For context, I still sleep with my puppy from childhood so I have a bit of attachment to stuffed animals lol).

[scm1011]

@daylily, yes, exactly! I'm kind of baffled.

[sju1982]

Something about all of those stitches is giving me Buffalo Bill vibes.

[scm1011]

Feb 26, 2018 9:20:12 GMT -5 sju1982 said:

Something about all of those stitches is giving me Buffalo Bill vibes.

Yes, that has me baffled as well! Like, was she trying to be artistic, or is she just a really terrible seamstress?

[gigem]

The eyes in the new version are just so intense or possessed looking! Don’t show ds poor thing he’ll be terrified of monkey’s forever!

[lessel]

That is terrifying and hilarious. And the story alone is worth the $10.

[Mrs.flang]

I'm sorry, that is really terrible!

[rbp]

My 3yo sleeps with a stuffed dinosaur that we can't find a replacement for. My H bought it at the Field Museum gift shop, and they don't sell it anymore. We've scoured the Internet, and my husband threatened to spend $150 on an exact match LOLOL. We found something "pretty close" for like $30, but somehow I doubt my son will approve. The replacement sits in a box in the closet labeled "backup dino" should the unthinkable occur LOL.

Sorry about your monkey. That fix is....something.

[scm1011]

rbp, I'm lucky that Monkey is easily replaceable. Because that fix will not even fool a 15 month old lol. If anything, it will give him a monkey complex for life.

Fingers crossed backup dino is able to stay in his box!

[momin2013]

LOL - omg, that is kind of hilarious.

I mean, it's cute and all, but yeah, no.

[clseale]

Feb 26, 2018 9:23:06 GMT -5 scm1011 said:

Feb 26, 2018 9:20:12 GMT -5 sju1982 said:

Something about all of those stitches is giving me Buffalo Bill vibes.

Yes, that has me baffled as well! Like, was she trying to be artistic, or is she just a really terrible seamstress?

When we were in Lisbon while I was pregnant, we got these stuffed animals for L. She has a bear, cat and a donkey. I feel like she was trying for the same look, but failed miserably. Here is the cat. (And LOL at the creepy. monkey photobomb.)

[scm1011]

OMG clseale, the creepy monkey leering over the cat's shoulder!! DEAD.

And yes, that cat is sweet and adorable. Definitely a fail if that's the style this lady was going for. And also COMPLETELY DIFFERENT than my original, not artsy, sweet-eyed monkey.

[spitforspat]

Oh good god. RIP monkey.

[janegold]

I'm sorry, but I am dying over here.  Poor C, I don't think this will cause him to stop crying when he sees Monkey's face.

[felicity]

That is horrifyingly hilarious and totally gives me this vibe. 

[Raggedeannie]

So I gotta know... does this woman actually have kids herself? You found her on a mom’s group so presumably she has met a toddler before and should know better that there is no universe in which this would be ok, right??

[scm1011]

Raggedeannie, yes, she has a toddler or her own! I can't even.

[mbcdefg]

Oh man.

I'm glad you found a backup, because LOLOL at that "fix."

[isabel]

Feb 26, 2018 11:43:51 GMT -5 Raggedeannie said:

So I gotta know... does this woman actually have kids herself? You found her on a mom’s group so presumably she has met a toddler before and should know better that there is no universe in which this would be ok, right??

This is the most confusing part of the whole thing.

[mpc]

to be fair, it probably was never going to be able to be restored to like it was before. but, yeah... eek!

[blondemoment123]

I’m sorry, but I chocked on my soup when I saw the after picture.

[Mushe]

Bahahaha! Thank you so much for sharing, scm1011. I’m glad monkey can be easily replaced!

[marie]

Oh, my. What did you say back to the picture update? I would be a loss for words...!

My DD is attached to a 101 dalmatian puppy made by Disney during one specific period. It does not even have any spots anymore, that is how much love it gets. I found 2 more of the exact same versions on ebay over the years but she knows they are not "her" stuffy. She will not touch them!

[scm1011]

I'm glad that if Monkey had to endure double-mutilation by hands of dog and random mom posing as a seamstress, it has at least brought laughs to your Monday

Now I just need to decide what to do with Franken-monkey lol.