Ok So

[Deleted]

Ok so I am officially and truly single now. That means that we have officially broken up. I knew it was coming in somewhere in the back of my mind and didn't want to face it. We talked about it and as much as told myself not to be emotional I did cry some. He told me that I was always going to be his best friend I said I wanted to remain friends too. The thing with us is we both feel that we have tried and tried and everything is just pulling us in different directions. I think day by day it will get better and I will be ok eventually. It really is for the best because I can now truly just focus on getting my life together.

[gozf]

I'm sorry you're hurting, but glad you know this is what's best.

As far as the friends thing goes, don't push it. If being in contact is too much right now, Theresa's nothing wrong with telling him so and taking space. You aren't helping yourself at all if the situation's painful. Truly take some time to heal, and when that's happened, decide whether it not this is a person you care to call a friend.

[gozf]

* there's, not Theresa. Autocorrect has RHONJ on the brain.

[Deleted]

another vent?
looking for comments?
compliments?
pat on the back?

[Deleted]

Sept 17, 2012 22:34:35 GMT -5 mags said:

another vent?
looking for comments?
compliments?
pat on the back?

No, it really is true. And why are you so hateful? If all your going to do to is make snide comments than keep them to yourself. kthanxs

[Deleted]

Sept 17, 2012 23:42:52 GMT -5 @geeka said:

Sept 17, 2012 22:34:35 GMT -5 mags said:

another vent?
looking for comments?
compliments?
pat on the back?

No, it really is true. And why are you so hateful? If all your going to do to is make snide comments than keep them to yourself. kthanxs

Not hateful at all just following through on your last response on other post. You said you werent looking for advice, just venting so I wanted to make sure what you were looking for this time, you so you wouldnt call us all bitches again.
That comment by you wasnt so snide, it was straight up.

Great thing about the internet I can respond to whatever i want even you dont like it.

So, on a serious note have you given any consideration to get some counseling for your issues? It really will help, and there is nothing bitchy about suggesting it, but you seem to think there is. A lot of women here have been helped enormously from it. Because like i said before if you dont fix the core problem nothing else is going to get fixed.(and if you consider that a bitchy response, there is no making you happy)

[jojoandleo]

Don't try and be friends right away. Actually, don't try and be friends with this controlling, emotionally abusive doucheassface at all. You deserve better friends. Why do you think you deserve to be disrespected and treated like shit from your SO/friends? I think you need some therapy to figure out why your standards are so low. I also think you are still in the cycle and when he comes back for some ass/because he is bored, you will jump right back into dating him.

[bullygirl979]

Sept 18, 2012 7:47:49 GMT -5 jojoandleo said:

Don't try and be friends right away. Actually, don't try and be friends with this controlling, emotionally abusive doucheassface at all. You deserve better friends. Why do you think you deserve to be disrespected and treated like shit from your SO/friends? I think you need some therapy to figure out why your standards are so low. I also think you are still in the cycle and when he comes back for some ass/because he is bored, you will jump right back into dating him.

ITA. In fact, I wouldn't be friends with him at all! Why would you want to be friends with someone that is disrespectful and doesn't want to spend time with you? I would bet that he just wants to be friends so he can continue to use you the way that he wants to.

Any thoughts as to starting therapy?

And I will say this: I admit that I was one of the harsher posters to you. But if you don't want comments, don't post on a public forum. People on here will comment if it is asked for or not. And if you are posting drama or obvious bad decisions, people will say something. And if you ignore everyone and continue to make excuses and make further bad decisions, people will get snarky with you. Just ask Missbetty and Liubot. It isn't because we are a bunch of bitches, it is because at least 1 (if not more) of us has been through it before. And we want someone to learn from our bad decisions.

[bullygirl979]

Sept 18, 2012 8:02:07 GMT -5 mintchocochip said:

Sept 18, 2012 7:57:04 GMT -5 bullygirl979 said:

ITA. In fact, I wouldn't be friends with him at all! Why would you want to be friends with someone that is disrespectful and doesn't want to spend time with you? I would bet that he just wants to be friends so he can continue to use you the way that he wants to.

Any thoughts as to starting therapy?

And I will say this: I admit that I was one of the harsher posters to you. But if you don't want comments, don't post on a public forum. People on here will comment if it is asked for or not. And if you are posting drama or obvious bad decisions, people will say something. And if you ignore everyone and continue to make excuses and make further bad decisions, people will get snarky with you. Just ask Missbetty and Liubot. It isn't because we are a bunch of bitches, it is because at least 1 (if not more) of us has been through it before. And we want someone to learn from our bad decisions.

I agree with bully. I was also harsh on you. I don't apologize. I wish someone had made me wake up and realize the shit I was putting up with wasn't worth my unhappiness. I posted on TIP back on TN 8 months before I left my XH. I wish I had posted sooner when we were dating to have avoided the cost (both fiscally and emotionally) of marrying an abusive shithead and going through a bad divorce. We're not being bitches, we're giving it to you straight.

Haha, I remember posting on TIP when all the shit was going down with XH. I got my ass handed to me on a silver platter. It was great (not at the time, but now I see it was). I am pretty sure TIP was banging their heads against a wall with me.

[doriswe]

Sept 18, 2012 8:02:07 GMT -5 mintchocochip said:

Sept 18, 2012 7:57:04 GMT -5 bullygirl979 said:

ITA. In fact, I wouldn't be friends with him at all! Why would you want to be friends with someone that is disrespectful and doesn't want to spend time with you? I would bet that he just wants to be friends so he can continue to use you the way that he wants to.

Any thoughts as to starting therapy?

And I will say this: I admit that I was one of the harsher posters to you. But if you don't want comments, don't post on a public forum. People on here will comment if it is asked for or not. And if you are posting drama or obvious bad decisions, people will say something. And if you ignore everyone and continue to make excuses and make further bad decisions, people will get snarky with you. Just ask Missbetty and Liubot. It isn't because we are a bunch of bitches, it is because at least 1 (if not more) of us has been through it before. And we want someone to learn from our bad decisions.

I agree with bully. I was also harsh on you. I don't apologize. I wish someone had made me wake up and realize the shit I was putting up with wasn't worth my unhappiness. I posted on TIP back on TN 8 months before I left my XH. I wish I had posted sooner when we were dating to have avoided the cost (both fiscally and emotionally) of marrying an abusive shithead and going through a bad divorce. We're not being bitches, we're giving it to you straight.

I wasn't sticky sweet either, but much like the others I believe a smack upside the head was in order.

Also, I wouldn't waste any time being friends with this guy. I chose friends who are kind, supportive and drama free....he doesn't seem to be any of the above.

[Deleted]

That's how us TIP Bitches roll!!!

[bullygirl979]

Sept 18, 2012 8:19:56 GMT -5 mags said:

That's how us TIP Bitches roll!!!

No, I was just a dumb biatch who couldn't believe I married an asshole, haha!

[Deleted]

Yes, that is how most of the women who came there were...theyd come complain about H. Wed give it to them straight...theyd call us mean old ladies....run away....and 6 months later some would come back...saying we were right and some have come back as long as 2 years later.
People dont want to hear the truth, they want to hear that no matter how fucked up the idiot they married is that THEIR love c an fix it.
Thats not how it works.
It just takes some longer to figure it out...and yes age has a lot to do with it!

[explorer2001]

Basically what everyone else said except MM handed my ass to me, not TIP. I laughed at the ostrich comment. I remember posting that I was a horrible wife and MM kicked my ass saying exH was an abusive douche and while I wasn't a terrible wife I was an idiot for being with.him and buying his manipulation.

Trying to stay friends is pointless even when you aren't dealing with an ass because you don't get closure.