NPCER # diet/fitness people come talk me off the ledge

[ESF]

I'm hoping you all can give your advice. I probably should talk to my doctor about all this, but you guys always have good information that may help me figure out what questions to ask.

In late February, H and I started a low carb diet. I was still recovering from my injured lung, which turned out to be caused by me having exercise asthma (I am literally allergic to exercise). I had started crossfit back in the fall, but wasn't able to do it (or any exercise really) while my lung was fucked up. 

I resumed crossfit in mid-March. By that point, I had lost some weight from the low carb and was at xx3 pounds.  

Over the next month, I continued to low carb-diet and go to crossfit 3 days a week. (On top of that, I probably walk at least 2 miles a day in walking dogs and walking to crossfit gym, and I would try to go to pilates once a week). My weight for that month hovered between xx0 and xx3 pounds. H did not go to the gym at all, was eating the same stuff as me, and lost like 10 or 12 pounds. I went to Chicago and Milwaukee for a work trip for three days in mid-April, ate and drank a lot, and came back weighing xx4 pounds. Within a couple days, I was back in the xx0-xx3 range.

For the past month, I've been doing crossfit M,W,F, and pilates T, TH, Sat.  I continue to weigh in the xx0-xx3 range.  My clothes do not fit any differently.

Meanwhile, H can probably count on one hand the number of times he's been to the gym. He has lost 20 pounds and dropped a size in the two months that I've been stuck in that range.  We basically eat the same thing, except I eat slightly more carbs than he does (I work in some cottage cheese with berries every day), whereas he's probably eating more fat and calories (he gets bunless burgers and these giant lunch salads a lot at work).

How do I get out of this rut? What am I doing wrong?

[NitaX]

What's your cardio routine like? You may have to do more cardio to push your body over the plateau.

[sangria]

How many carbs are you eating per day? Are you using some type of tracking or just estimating?

[Velar Fricative]

It's hard to compare yourself with a man. DH (who does weigh much more than I do) is doing Weight Watchers alongside me and because the better eating is more of a shock to his system (his daily diet was way more terrible than mine), that plus his higher weight is why all he has to do to lose 10 pounds in a week at the beginning is cut caloric soda out, more if he cuts out the junk he was eating too. I have to do more puzzle-solving since I already eat better than he does. I just can't compare myself to him.

Having said that, I agree with NitaX about trying cardio. It may not necessarily be the cardio that is the magic pill per se, but I think anything that constitutes a "shock" to your system can be successful at jumpstarting weight loss after a plateau. You're not doing anything "wrong," but your body just might be complacent and something different might help, with cardio being a good first option.

[TR]

I’ve been struggling with something similar, I’m not as good at my diet, but I was focusing more on heavy lifting and I’ve switched over to more HIIT and long walks and it is making a difference. Not a ton, but it’s turning the tide of slow gaining I was doing.

[Susie]

Portion size is a really big key to successful weight loss for me.  I don't measure everything all the time, but I periodically do it again to remind myself what 1/2 cup of yogurt looks like.  It's so easy to let servings creep up.  Exercise is great, but weight loss for me is all in what I eat.  The way I look at it, exercise gives me enough room in a calorie-restricted regimen to make it tolerable enough to stick to.  It doesn't actually help me lose weight though.

If your idea of "extra carbs" is cottage cheese and berries, I don't think carbs are your problem.  Carbs are my problem, but for me it's bagels.  Bread.  Etc.  

I can also relate to making diet & exercise changes together with MH, and watching in frustration as I have to scratch and claw for each pound lost, and he looks at a salad and is already down 5 lbs.  Ugh.  I've learned it's actually UNhelpful to try to do it with him because I can't put the petty envy aside.

That's not super actionable or helpful, I know.  I'm just acknowledging - losing weight is really hard.

[NitaX]

May 14, 2018 11:22:26 GMT -5 Velar Fricative said:

It's hard to compare yourself with a man. DH (who does weigh much more than I do) is doing Weight Watchers alongside me and because the better eating is more of a shock to his system (his daily diet was way more terrible than mine), that plus his higher weight is why all he has to do to lose 10 pounds in a week at the beginning is cut caloric soda out, more if he cuts out the junk he was eating too. I have to do more puzzle-solving since I already eat better than he does. I just can't compare myself to him.

Having said that, I agree with NitaX about trying cardio. It may not necessarily be the cardio that is the magic pill per se, but I think anything that constitutes a "shock" to your system can be successful at jumpstarting weight loss after a plateau. You're not doing anything "wrong," but your body just might be complacent and something different might help, with cardio being a good first option.

Exactly. I know for me, if I weight lift alone, that's nice and I'll tone up, but if the goal was to drop pounds, that won't cut it. I have to do like 3 days of cardio - running, Zumba to see the wight drop. This is never a problem for me in summer because I tend to run three days a week as part of run walk program. But winter? Naw. I can't get outdoors for that much running. 

My best success was doing about 2 1/2 - 3 miles in the morning followed by a weight training session.

[twilightmv]

Echo that you can’t compare yourself to men.

Have you done low carb before? Do you usually lose weight on it? It doesn’t seem to work for everyone.

Is your body in ketosis? There’s strips you can use to check.

[jigsy]

I think you just can't compare yourself to your H - many men seem to be able to lose weight so much easier - it isn't fair.

I have been struggling with losing weight as well...it seems like my body just does not want to budge from where it is at, despite eating good foods, exercising, etc. I spoke with my doctor about it 2 weeks ago and she suggested trying intermittent fasting because it helps "reset" your body/metabolism/fat burning whatever. I am little skeptical, but I am trying it out. So far, I have just one week down, and I "lost" 4 lbs - I don't consider that a success yet since I was also on my period last week, and I don't think one week is an indication of anything...but there seems to be stuff online about the method (because everything online is true!) and it is easy for me at least, so I am willing to keep at it to see if it gives long-term results.

[jenny1980]

Weight loss is a function of creating an energy deficit. Low carb works because people generally consume fewer calories than they do when eating more carb-dense foods (protein & fat are much more satiating).

If you're not losing weight, you're eating the number of calories it takes to sustain your current activity level (or, if you're gaining weight, you're eating more than you need). To lose a pound/week you'll need to eat 500 cals/day less than you burn. You can get an idea of what you burn each day using a TDEE calculator: tdeecalculator.net/

What your husband eats is pretty irrelevant. Men burn way more calories than an equal weight woman and height, age, muscle mass, etc. etc. all play into it as well.

[al320]

Do not compare yourself to a man. They lose weight SO much differently than women do.

Id take an honest look at your overall calorie count in a day. For me, exercise doesnt help, i need to cut calories. I gain when i train for marathons (which is common).

[jenny1980]

May 14, 2018 11:45:36 GMT -5 1234FIF! said:

This will sound counter intuitive but you may need to up your calories slightly.

"Starvation mode" is largely a myth. It takes a long time (and eating under your BMR) for metabolism to adjust for less intake. If she's not losing weight, she's taking in too many calories for weight loss. 


 

[ESF]

So cardio...

For years, I hated exercise. I would begrudgingly go to the gym and use the treadmill. And I never understood what people meant when they talked about runners high, because I'd leave and I'd feel like absolute shit and spend the whole day coughing up a storm.

I have now learned that feeling like shit after cardio is a side effect of having exercise induced asthma. I have an inhaler now, and that helps me not feel like I'm choking when I jog, but I still feel like garbage and cough for several hours after I finish, which is better than the 6-8 hour long coughing session I was having before, but still no fun. (The reason I pulled a muscle in my lung because I was basically was in a month long asthma attack, coughing nonstop.)

So regular cardio isn't going to happen.

[jenny1980]

May 14, 2018 11:40:32 GMT -5 jigsy said:

I think you just can't compare yourself to your H - many men seem to be able to lose weight so much easier - it isn't fair.

I have been struggling with losing weight as well...it seems like my body just does not want to budge from where it is at, despite eating good foods, exercising, etc. I spoke with my doctor about it 2 weeks ago and she suggested trying intermittent fasting because it helps "reset" your body/metabolism/fat burning whatever. I am little skeptical, but I am trying it out. So far, I have just one week down, and I "lost" 4 lbs - I don't consider that a success yet since I was also on my period last week, and I don't think one week is an indication of anything...but there seems to be stuff online about the method (because everything online is true!) and it is easy for me at least, so I am willing to keep at it to see if it gives long-term results.

Which IF protocol are you following? I find that doing a 8 to 10 hour eating window actually keeps me from being less hungry compared to grazing all day long.

[jenny1980]

May 14, 2018 11:52:53 GMT -5 ESF said:

So cardio...

For years, I hated exercise. I would begrudgingly go to the gym and use the treadmill. And I never understood what people meant when they talked about runners high, because I'd leave and I'd feel like absolute shit and spend the whole day coughing up a storm.

I have now learned that feeling like shit after cardio is a side effect of having exercise induced asthma. I have an inhaler now, and that helps me not feel like I'm choking when I jog, but I still feel like garbage and cough for several hours after I finish, which is better than the 6-8 hour long coughing session I was having before, but still no fun. (The reason I pulled a muscle in my lung because I was basically was in a month long asthma attack, coughing nonstop.)

So regular cardio isn't going to happen.

Get a Fitbit and get 10k steps in addition to your cross fit workouts. That will be enough for overall cardio health and will definitely help burn an extra few hundred cals/day.

[Velar Fricative]

May 14, 2018 11:52:53 GMT -5 ESF said:

So cardio...

For years, I hated exercise. I would begrudgingly go to the gym and use the treadmill. And I never understood what people meant when they talked about runners high, because I'd leave and I'd feel like absolute shit and spend the whole day coughing up a storm.

I have now learned that feeling like shit after cardio is a side effect of having exercise induced asthma. I have an inhaler now, and that helps me not feel like I'm choking when I jog, but I still feel like garbage and cough for several hours after I finish, which is better than the 6-8 hour long coughing session I was having before, but still no fun. (The reason I pulled a muscle in my lung because I was basically was in a month long asthma attack, coughing nonstop.)

So regular cardio isn't going to happen.

What about something like yoga? I just started for the first time ever a couple of weeks ago thinking, well, I haven't done exercise in a long time and it's a good way to ease into it since I wish I was more flexible too. LOL, it's hard as hell even at the beginner level, although it might not be as hard for you since you do crossfit. So I work up a good sweat and feel great but it also doesn't feel like the cardio workouts I had always done before (running, elliptical, etc.). But I'm not a doctor obviously, so I'm not sure if exercise-induced asthma would also be induced with yoga.

[ESF]

May 14, 2018 11:34:08 GMT -5 twilightmv said:

Echo that you can’t compare yourself to men.

Have you done low carb before? Do you usually lose weight on it? It doesn’t seem to work for everyone.

Is your body in ketosis? There’s strips you can use to check.

Yeah I've done low carb before. It has worked way better than this in the past. 

I was definitely in ketosis but haven't checked in a while.

I don't count calories every day, but my usual days consistently put me under 2000, and usually in the 1500-1800 range.

I'm pretty fat, so the calorie calculators say I can eat significantly more, like 2500+ at a sedentary life. So even on days when I have a couple glasses of wine, I'm way under.

[yaga]

The joke in my marriage is that H thinks about losing weight and boom, it's gone. Meanwhile, I track my calories *almost* every day, make sure I'm in a 500 cal/day deficit, and have a fairly intense work out routine. I was doing about 5-6 days of HIIT per week, with some days more strength-focused and some were cardio heavy - using a workout app program. (I'm now training for a 10k, so my workout routine is very different and I have eliminated calorie deficits a few days a week to make sure I'm eating enough to handle the longer runs.)

The above is how I finally started dropping weight in early Feb after restarting my workout routine in mid December. At the same time, I was taking part in a diet study where I was actually increasing my carb intake - I was on an arm to increase dietary fiber, so whole grain foods were heavily encouraged, while animal fats were limited to one serving of red meat per week. I was eating more break/English muffins, pasta, etc. than I had in a long time, but I was controlling portions and everything was the whole grain variety.

However, it took more than a month to see the scale move. It also required meticulous tracking. It annoyed me to no end, but it's apparently the only thing that works for me.

[penguingrrl]

I have a few thoughts. Have you been calorie counting or just eating lower carb? I have to religiously count calories to see the scale change. I track through myfitnesspal.com and genuinely follow their recommendations. It’s not easy, and I do have to weigh everything I eat because I’m prone to overeating like whoa. But in following that I’ve lost 32 lbs since July.

I have a Fitbit and set it to a minimum of 12,500 steps per day. I also attempt at least 100,000 steps per week (closer to 15,000 a day). Some days I run (which you can’t) and some days it’s just walking or walking my dog. But even if I get the steps slowly I figure that the number of steps contributes because loving is important.

I also do heavy weight lifting 4-5 days a week, rotating which muscle groups I’m working on. That helps tone and helps clothes look better, but I’m reading more about it also helping burn calories.

I also eat a very low animal source diet and have seen a change. I’m not fully vegan, but try for mostly vegan during the week. It was a huge adjustment, but has allowed me to feel way more satisfied because I can fill up more in spinach and not gain. Spinach, broccoli, lentils, beans and small amounts of quinoa are my protein sources and once I got used to it it feels very good. Also, the amount of fiber I’m getting is leaving my satisfied a lot longer.

[mcsangel2]

Do you suffer from PCOS by any chance? It seems to also cause insulin resistance, women with this condition have a notoriously difficult time losing weight.

[ESF]

May 14, 2018 11:57:23 GMT -5 Velar Fricative said:

May 14, 2018 11:52:53 GMT -5 ESF said:

So cardio...

For years, I hated exercise. I would begrudgingly go to the gym and use the treadmill. And I never understood what people meant when they talked about runners high, because I'd leave and I'd feel like absolute shit and spend the whole day coughing up a storm.

I have now learned that feeling like shit after cardio is a side effect of having exercise induced asthma. I have an inhaler now, and that helps me not feel like I'm choking when I jog, but I still feel like garbage and cough for several hours after I finish, which is better than the 6-8 hour long coughing session I was having before, but still no fun. (The reason I pulled a muscle in my lung because I was basically was in a month long asthma attack, coughing nonstop.)

So regular cardio isn't going to happen.

What about something like yoga? I just started for the first time ever a couple of weeks ago thinking, well, I haven't done exercise in a long time and it's a good way to ease into it since I wish I was more flexible too. LOL, it's hard as hell even at the beginner level, although it might not be as hard for you since you do crossfit. So I work up a good sweat and feel great but it also doesn't feel like the cardio workouts I had always done before (running, elliptical, etc.). But I'm not a doctor obviously, so I'm not sure if exercise-induced asthma would also be induced with yoga.

I use the Y for all my non-crossfit exercise, and their yoga classes are all like 40 people to one instructor, so they are not useful.

Our Y membership is super cheap, and I"d never be able to find pay as you go classes or a yoga studio for the rate I pay. Since I have to pay separately for crossfit, I'm not adding any other gyms into my monthly budget.

[jigsy]

May 14, 2018 11:53:25 GMT -5 jenny1980 said:

May 14, 2018 11:40:32 GMT -5 jigsy said:

I think you just can't compare yourself to your H - many men seem to be able to lose weight so much easier - it isn't fair.

I have been struggling with losing weight as well...it seems like my body just does not want to budge from where it is at, despite eating good foods, exercising, etc. I spoke with my doctor about it 2 weeks ago and she suggested trying intermittent fasting because it helps "reset" your body/metabolism/fat burning whatever. I am little skeptical, but I am trying it out. So far, I have just one week down, and I "lost" 4 lbs - I don't consider that a success yet since I was also on my period last week, and I don't think one week is an indication of anything...but there seems to be stuff online about the method (because everything online is true!) and it is easy for me at least, so I am willing to keep at it to see if it gives long-term results.

Which IF protocol are you following? I find that doing a 8 to 10 hour eating window actually keeps me from being less hungry compared to grazing all day long.

I am doing 8/16. And I agree, I haven't really been hungry at all in my fasting hours - well, around 10:30 am, I start feeling it lol (I eat from 11am-7pm). Its a much easier way to eat for me than the small meals every 3 hours or whatever. 

[fumbalina]

Have you taken a look at what types of foods you are eating? I developed a food intolerance to potatoes, but it took a long time for it to get bad enough for me to recognize what caused it. I did this by journaling everything I ate. By the time I had discovered the problem it was pretty clear when I had eaten something that I could not digest but did not start that way. Just before I could identify the trigger, if I ate it I would experience all the nasty digestive problems at the same time, and then be ravenous minutes after I ate. I also had a delayed reaction of waking up with the aches and pains that are usually associated with the flu. I felt miserable clearly.

Immediately after discovering the problem and changing my diet to not include potato, I lost 20 lbs. After quite a while I started reading ingredients better (like I should have from the start) and felt better when I also cut out potato starch. I am not suggesting that potato is your problem, but there could be a food that you eat frequently that is causing some of the weight.

[Velar Fricative]

May 14, 2018 12:05:41 GMT -5 ESF said:

May 14, 2018 11:57:23 GMT -5 Velar Fricative said:

What about something like yoga? I just started for the first time ever a couple of weeks ago thinking, well, I haven't done exercise in a long time and it's a good way to ease into it since I wish I was more flexible too. LOL, it's hard as hell even at the beginner level, although it might not be as hard for you since you do crossfit. So I work up a good sweat and feel great but it also doesn't feel like the cardio workouts I had always done before (running, elliptical, etc.). But I'm not a doctor obviously, so I'm not sure if exercise-induced asthma would also be induced with yoga.

I use the Y for all my non-crossfit exercise, and their yoga classes are all like 40 people to one instructor, so they are not useful.

Our Y membership is super cheap, and I"d never be able to find pay as you go classes or a yoga studio for the rate I pay. Since I have to pay separately for crossfit, I'm not adding any other gyms into my monthly budget.

Darn, but I get it. I do them at the Y (classes aren't as sizable as yours so the instructor is helpful) and I wouldn't pay extra for classes at a studio or elsewhere either. Any free outdoor yoga or similar classes at local parks? Obviously that's only if you care to do yoga, I'm not trying to pressure you I swear lol. 

[ESF]

May 14, 2018 12:04:47 GMT -5 mcsangel2 said:

Do you suffer from PCOS by any chance? It seems to also cause insulin resistance, women with this condition have a notoriously difficult time losing weight.

I don't, but I have asking my doctor about insulin resistance on my list, as I think there are other causes. That said, I had full bloodwork run in January, including blood sugar, and everything was in the range of normal.

[StrawberryBlondie]

May 14, 2018 11:52:53 GMT -5 ESF said:

So cardio...

For years, I hated exercise. I would begrudgingly go to the gym and use the treadmill. And I never understood what people meant when they talked about runners high, because I'd leave and I'd feel like absolute shit and spend the whole day coughing up a storm.

I have now learned that feeling like shit after cardio is a side effect of having exercise induced asthma. I have an inhaler now, and that helps me not feel like I'm choking when I jog, but I still feel like garbage and cough for several hours after I finish, which is better than the 6-8 hour long coughing session I was having before, but still no fun. (The reason I pulled a muscle in my lung because I was basically was in a month long asthma attack, coughing nonstop.)

So regular cardio isn't going to happen.

So, I also have exercise induced asthma... Did your doc put you on a daily inhaler or just a rescue?

I might be different because cold weather is also a trigger for me, but a daily inhaler that I take a puff on once a night every has literally been life changing.

[lilypad1126]

My H is fond of telling me "you can't outrun a bad diet" as he shovels in chips and continues to lose weight. LOL. However, I have to say, at least for me, he's not wrong. If I want to lose, I have to track my calories religiously. For me, it's also easier to lose when I'm not starting a new workout routine or significantly upping my usual workouts in some way. When I do one of those, my hunger increases and I have to figure out my diet all over again.

Having said that, this shit is hard. I hate that I have to think about every single thing I eat and decide if it's really worth it to have an extra piece of cake, or have that breadstick with my pasta. My diet is pretty boring (in that I eat the same things over and over and over again) because I know how those foods affect my weight. And I know how to measure them. Typing this out makes me realize how boring I am and what a rut I am in.

[yaga]

May 14, 2018 12:14:28 GMT -5 lilypad1126 said:

My H is fond of telling me "you can't outrun a bad diet" as he shovels in chips and continues to lose weight. LOL. However, I have to say, at least for me, he's not wrong. If I want to lose, I have to track my calories religiously. For me, it's also easier to lose when I'm not starting a new workout routine or significantly upping my usual workouts in some way. When I do one of those, my hunger increases and I have to figure out my diet all over again.

Having said that, this shit is hard. I hate that I have to think about every single thing I eat and decide if it's really worth it to have an extra piece of cake, or have that breadstick with my pasta. My diet is pretty boring (in that I eat the same things over and over and over again) because I know how those foods affect my weight. And I know how to measure them. Typing this out makes me realize how boring I am and what a rut I am in.

Same. I had a moment of dread when I realized that I need to keep track of what I'm eating for life if I want to reach and maintain my goal weight. Even when it fits within my caloric needs for the day and I've run like 5 miles, there is nothing more sad than logging "6 girl scout cookies" in MFP. 

[andreay82]

I'll chime in with the "don't compare yourself to your husband" choir. Men are just different.

I do not know how much weight you're wanting to lose, but Crossfit has certainly changed my body composition more than helped me lose weight. If it's the number you're looking at, CF won't be your best friend since you do too much strength work. More low intensity cardio (walking more is just fine) and a diet reset may be helpful.

I know Pixy does RP, have you considered switching from Keto? I know you're not adding in a ton of carbs additional, but I was literally just talking to my DH this morning about how if he is not following his high protein/higher fat/lower carb/ no booze diet 100%, then it's not going to work. I've been super happy with RP, but definitely know my weight fluffs up if I go off plan, even for a day. Mostly that is drinking wine (yeah, not a glass, like a bottle) on a weekend which makes me gain 5 lbs overnight.

[twilightmv]

Personally, I’d cut back on exercise and try to do induction low carb for two weeks and see if that changes anything. Sometimes exercise throws off my weight loss, actually.