Post by lemoncupcake on Aug 30, 2018 7:47:42 GMT -5
I had a repeat c/s this January and it was amazing compared to my first (emergency) c/s - as I was laying on the operating table, nursing my baby and chit chatting with the OB as they were cleaning me up, I told her that it was exactly what I needed the experience to be.
Everything went according to plan. The novel is below
DH wasn't in there with me when I got the spinal, he came in as they were making the final preparations to get started. All in, I'd say that I was in there for 10 minutes or so without him. I lucked out this time and the anesthesia tech/anesthesiologist and nurse were really nice and great at keeping me distracted. They had heated blankets that they gave me when I felt cold (and then conversely put alcohol pads on my forehead when I was hot).
I did have a reaction to the anesthesia and felt nauseous/shaky/faint as it was taking effect, but I expected that to happen and had discussed it before hand with the anesthesia tech. She was prepared and gave me meds that made it go away in about a minute. That minute was awful though, emotionally, because I really wanted to be "present" for everything which was one of my issues with c/s #1 (I wasn't feeling well, so I was given meds that made me doped out of my mind and sleepy). After that, I felt great until I got to post-op where I proceeded to be nauseous for the next 12 hours, but that's just how I react to anesthesia apparently.
As she was being born they lowered the curtain a bit and then lifted her up so I could see her. They brought her around and I touched her for a second or two, and then she and DH went over to get her cleaned up a bit/weighed and suctioned out. That only took a few minutes and I could see her the whole time. They brought her back and we did skin to skin and breastfeeding as I was getting put back together. I held her until we were moving into the post-op area.
My recovery was pretty good, but I had a decent recovery with the first as well. And I knew more of what to expect/what things would be uncomfortable and how to work around them. The main hurdle was not over-doing it with DD1 and not picking her up/carrying her once we got home.
We did discuss the potential risks to a future pregnancy with choosing to have a second c/s. Now that I really want a 3rd (while pregnant with my 2nd I wasn't sure) I do think about it every once in a while, but it is what it is. I wasn't a shoe-in candidate for VBAC and hadn't gone into labor on my own by 39w5d when my c/s was scheduled, so there's a decent chance that I could have ended up with a c/s anyway. I'm 99% sure that if we go for 3 that will be it; if we wanted a much larger family I might have made a different decision.
As they wheeled me down the hall to the OR, the anesthesiologist bent down and said “I have to tell you that having anesthesia in your first trimester carries a HIGH risk of miscarriage”. Ok asshole, well I have no choice but to have this surgery so I don’t bleed out and die. Not like I’m having a boob job. But thanks for saying that to the lady who had fertility treatment just to get here. I started bawling my eyes out and cried until I was finally knocked out.
Ugh--I'm so sorry. This guy is such a dick.
He really was, and continued to be even after I woke up. I woke up in a lot of pain, I assume because they couldn’t give me what they normally give for pain control. It burned like hell where they had operated. I asked him “is that pain from the tube removal?”, and he starts explaining that I had a trach tube for anesthesia so my throat could be sore. I’m like “no, from my FALLOPIAN TUBE removal”. You think I’m crying from a sore throat?! I asked him “is my baby going to be ok?” and he was all “well I can’t reassure you of that blah blah” and left me crying again. The nurse that helped me after that was like “don’t listen to him, this happens all the time and your baby will be FINE. I want you to send me a picture of him or her after they are born”.
We became FB friends (we actually kind of knew each other already through mutual friends), and when I posted L’s birth announcement and she commented, I replied that we both made good on our promises from that day! Thank God for good nurses.
He really was, and continued to be even after I woke up. I woke up in a lot of pain, I assume because they couldn’t give me what they normally give for pain control. It burned like hell where they had operated. I asked him “is that pain from the tube removal?”, and he starts explaining that I had a trach tube for anesthesia so my throat could be sore. I’m like “no, from my FALLOPIAN TUBE removal”. You think I’m crying from a sore throat?! I asked him “is my baby going to be ok?” and he was all “well I can’t reassure you of that blah blah” and left me crying again. The nurse that helped me after that was like “don’t listen to him, this happens all the time and your baby will be FINE. I want you to send me a picture of him or her after they are born”.
We became FB friends (we actually kind of knew each other already through mutual friends), and when I posted L’s birth announcement and she commented, I replied that we both made good on our promises from that day! Thank God for good nurses.
I'm sorry you had to go through that. I can't imagine how scared you were. I'm glad you had a great nurse though. I think the nurses all know which anesthesiologists are jerks.
Re: the clear drape. It wasn’t an option for my first c/s but was during my RCS. But in the moment I couldn’t do it. I was a mess of nerves and trying to keep myself relaxed and I was afraid I couldn’t handle it and that I’d pass out. So DH just looked over the drape instead.
Just to say in the moment things you think you might want can shift.
He really was, and continued to be even after I woke up. I woke up in a lot of pain, I assume because they couldn’t give me what they normally give for pain control. It burned like hell where they had operated. I asked him “is that pain from the tube removal?”, and he starts explaining that I had a trach tube for anesthesia so my throat could be sore. I’m like “no, from my FALLOPIAN TUBE removal”. You think I’m crying from a sore throat?! I asked him “is my baby going to be ok?” and he was all “well I can’t reassure you of that blah blah” and left me crying again. The nurse that helped me after that was like “don’t listen to him, this happens all the time and your baby will be FINE. I want you to send me a picture of him or her after they are born”.
We became FB friends (we actually kind of knew each other already through mutual friends), and when I posted L’s birth announcement and she commented, I replied that we both made good on our promises from that day! Thank God for good nurses.
Awww... ok it is probably the hormones but the last part of your story is making me tear up at work! I'm sorry that guy was so awful to you. I think sometimes the doctors forget they are dealing with real people. It is a crapshoot, I know in my 3 days in the hospital I had some nurses I loved and some not so much. The good ones are amazing though, and it is a tough job, so they have so much respect from me!
Post by minionkevin on Aug 30, 2018 10:23:57 GMT -5
I scheduled the c/s for my second, but my first was born vaginally. I was alone for the spinal, then DH came in once I was situated on the table. No gentle c/s, I didn’t know what that was at the time. I did sneak a few glances in the mirror above me though, and held my baby (with DH’s help bc of positioning) and did skin to skin (did not intend to BF, and didn’t, despite a nurse’s repeated questioning). I did vomit in recovery, but that was once I was sitting up, about an hour after I was wheeled into recovery. I was fine during the surgery and immediately after. C/S was scheduled for 1:30 Kid2 was born at 2 and my first pics afterwards are at 3:18PM. I wasn’t up and walking until 5AM, and didn’t eat until 9AM the next day #hangry. Catheter was removed at 2, I practically ran to the shower. The rest of my recovery was awesome. I did come into the hospital in labor, without knowing it. I was 4cm dilated and having contractions every 3 minutes the 2 hours I was monitored before the c/s took place. Objectively, my c/s probably ended up being “unnecessary”. Yes my kid was large (9lb 11oz) but not the 10lb 14oz estimated a week before delivery. Kid2’s head is/was off the chart (21” at 2), the risk of shoulder dystocia was higher, and I had excess fluid, but possibly all but the shoulder dystocia could have been mitigated. That said, I had my oldest over a holiday weekend (unexpectedly a few days early) and I wasn’t pleased with the hospital staff, most especially the lack of nursing support. When faced with that again - on a different, “bigger” holiday weekend - I chose to schedule it so I would, barring complications, be home before I would have to worry about it again.
Oh! The mention of showering reminds me: nobody told me I could shower for FOUR DAYS after my c-section. Why the fuck would I have known I could shower when nobody told me? So I showered at like 5am on Sunday morning before my induction, had a c-section in the wee hours of Tuesday, and didn’t shower until Friday. In the meantime, I had barfed all over myself and had diarrhea on the table thanks to the anti-hemorrhage drugs. I was so gross. When I finally asked my doc on Friday when I could shower, she was like, “What? You haven't showered? Of course you can shower?” WHAT THE FUCK WHY DID NOBODY TELL ME.
I swear these people seem to think that first time moms who’ve only ever had wisdom teeth surgery should actually know this shit. My only other experience with major surgery was my H’s brain surgery, where he was legitimately not allowed to shower until day 22 of his hospital stay because of his incision.
Oh! The mention of showering reminds me: nobody told me I could shower for FOUR DAYS after my c-section. Why the fuck would I have known I could shower when nobody told me? So I showered at like 5am on Sunday morning before my induction, had a c-section in the wee hours of Tuesday, and didn’t shower until Friday. In the meantime, I had barfed all over myself and had diarrhea on the table thanks to the anti-hemorrhage drugs. I was so gross. When I finally asked my doc on Friday when I could shower, she was like, “What? You haven't showered? Of course you can shower?” WHAT THE FUCK WHY DID NOBODY TELL ME.
I swear these people seem to think that first time moms who’ve only ever had wisdom teeth surgery should actually know this shit. My only other experience with major surgery was my H’s brain surgery, where he was legitimately not allowed to shower until day 22 of his hospital stay because of his incision.
I also had to ask about showering, it was weird. I felt so much better once I did!
I also remember that first day I felt shitty and wasn't ready to be up and moving around, but I really wanted to brush my teeth. It took them forever to bring me a little spit bowl thing. I was like "Come on, people. I'm in rough shape but i still want to exercise some basic hygiene!"
Oh! The mention of showering reminds me: nobody told me I could shower for FOUR DAYS after my c-section. Why the fuck would I have known I could shower when nobody told me? So I showered at like 5am on Sunday morning before my induction, had a c-section in the wee hours of Tuesday, and didn’t shower until Friday. In the meantime, I had barfed all over myself and had diarrhea on the table thanks to the anti-hemorrhage drugs. I was so gross. When I finally asked my doc on Friday when I could shower, she was like, “What? You haven't showered? Of course you can shower?” WHAT THE FUCK WHY DID NOBODY TELL ME.
I swear these people seem to think that first time moms who’ve only ever had wisdom teeth surgery should actually know this shit. My only other experience with major surgery was my H’s brain surgery, where he was legitimately not allowed to shower until day 22 of his hospital stay because of his incision.
I also had to ask about showering, it was weird. I felt so much better once I did!
I also remember that first day I felt shitty and wasn't ready to be up and moving around, but I really wanted to brush my teeth. It took them forever to bring me a little spit bowl thing. I was like "Come on, people. I'm in rough shape but i still want to exercise some basic hygiene!"
I was up remarkably soon considering what I went through (minutes from a hysterectomy due to severe hemorrhage). So I was going to the bathroom and washing my face and brushing my teeth. But I kept waiting for someone to tell me I could shower. I didn’t ask because I assumed they would tell me. I guess they all assumed I would just shower when I felt like it. But I mean, what the fuck? I had a fresh incision. Why on earth would I just assume I could shower?
And this kind of shit is why not a single nurse who participated in my care will ever be allowed around me ever again. Fuck all of them. As far as I’m concerned, they can all go to hell.
@angryharpy I didn't read all 3 pages so may have missed this, but have you joined your local ICAN group? They can be a wealth of info and give you the scoop on which doctors and hospitals are really on board with a gentle C and which ones are just blowing smoke up your ass about it.
pugz, the information on my local ICAN is sort of spotty. I know they have meetings. I am zero percent interested in going into a meeting to talk with other people. That would be hugely triggering and I'd basically need to plan on a Xanax nap for the rest of my day. I wish they just had a document with physicians/hospitals they recommend for VBAC and/or gentle C-section. I don't actually want to interact with anyone.
pugz , the information on my local ICAN is sort of spotty. I know they have meetings. I am zero percent interested in going into a meeting to talk with other people. That would be hugely triggering and I'd basically need to plan on a Xanax nap for the rest of my day. I wish they just had a document with physicians/hospitals they recommend for VBAC and/or gentle C-section. I don't actually want to interact with anyone.
totally understandable! I know some groups are more active on FB than others. Support groups are definitely not my thing either!
Post by formerlyak on Aug 30, 2018 14:53:10 GMT -5
Someone mentioned shower and it reminded me that showering as soon as they let you was heaven for me. With my first, the nurse thought I was doing really well about 12 hours out, so she asked the doctor if she could help me shower before her shift ended (making it closer to 24 hours post surgery). This amazing nurse was practically standing in the shower with me so I didn't fall, but it felt so good to take a shower.
With my second, I said I wanted to be able to shower as soon as possible. My OB sent a request to the ortho department for some special dressing that was waterproof for him to use when closing me up. This was to allow me to shower as soon as the cath was out and I could stand. I asked the nurse when she took the cath out and she refused to let me shower. I asked again later and still no. The doctor came in to check on me and asked if I showered and I said no, because the nurse wouldn't let me. That nurse got an earful from my OB.
My nurse insisted that I shower at 24 hours because they wanted the dressing removed. I was not up to the task since the spinal morphine had worn off and the ibuprofen wasn't cutting it at that point. I told her if I was going to shower, I was going to finally cave to the percocet. It's so weird that the first shower thing varies so much.
I don't remember when I showered with my first c-section. The only thing I remember is waking DH up MOTN crying because I couldn't get the compression socks off and was on the verge of just showering in the damn things.
Post by sparkythelawyer on Aug 30, 2018 15:41:01 GMT -5
Oh Angryharpy, I am so sorry you had such a crap experience.
FWIW, I think you might be a better VBAC candidate than you think, BECAUSE of that crapshow you went through. You will be so much better prepared to deal with ish on your own because you won't rely on someone else to do it for you. You'll have as much of your own supplies/preparation as posssible.
I also think you might benefit from reaching out to a midwife practice through a birthing center when you guys start looking at a sequel to lil' harpy in the future. A more hands-on approach might help you out a bunch.
And I wouldn't worry about being "older" or "heavier." Yeah, it may increase your risk of a RCS a bit, but lots of women in that category do just fine.
I am so sorry you had a crap experience and I hope things go better for you in the future, if that is what you guys decide.
My nurse insisted that I shower at 24 hours because they wanted the dressing removed. I was not up to the task since the spinal morphine had worn off and the ibuprofen wasn't cutting it at that point. I told her if I was going to shower, I was going to finally cave to the percocet. It's so weird that the first shower thing varies so much.
I don't remember when I showered with my first c-section. The only thing I remember is waking DH up MOTN crying because I couldn't get the compression socks off and was on the verge of just showering in the damn things.
I didn't have a dressing. I just assumed they wanted the incision dry and someone would tell me when it was OK to shower.
The compression sleeves thing reminds me - when I got my epidural, I asked for SCD sleeves on my legs. My H had a DVT and PE earlier in the year from being prone too long. Knowing that I'm fat, I didn't want to take any chances. Well, about 12 hours after they put them on me, somebody mentioned something about them not actually being on. WHAT. THE. FUCK. So the nurse put the SCD sleeves on me but never turned them on. And I didn't know that because my legs were numb from the epidural.
This is the type of shit care that is why I don't trust nurses or anybody else for that matter. When I didn't advocate for myself, they just did nothing. And even when I did, they still fucked it up.
I also now know that next time, I'm not ASKING for anything. I'm fucking TELLING them what I need and refusing what I don't want. Like when the nurse came in to check my incision 5 minutes after the resident was in. I said he'd just checked, and she said she still had to. I realize now that it's because her charts she has to fill out tell her to check my incision every X hours. But nobody told me I could refuse. A year later, not hopped up on pain meds, it occurs to me that it's MY body and even in the hospital, I get to decide who touches it. So if I ever face a similar situation, when the nurse says she "has" to check my incision, I can respond with, "I refuse. I do not consent to you checking my incision at this time." So if I want to shower, the only person's opinion I'm going to care about is going to be my own physician. If a nurse tells me no, I would say, tough shit, I'm showering.
There are so many things that happen in the hospital that you should be given a choice about, but staff is so often focused on their own convenience or their own little check boxes. They never say, "Standard procedure is X. You are free to refuse. Here are the potential consequences of refusing." They just tell you that you HAVE to do something. Fuck you. I don't HAVE to do anything.
Because really, what would be the fucking consequence of me not letting the nurse look at my incision five goddamned minutes after the resident looked at it? I'd argue that checking my incision again that frequently probably INCREASES the chance of infection because it's just that much more touching.
ALSO, why the fuck can hospitals not coordinate the nursing assistants and the nurses? I swear, I'd just start to get close to sleep when the nursing assistant would come in to check my temp and BP. Why they couldn't coordinate that to be done when the nurse was in dispensing my meds is beyond me. Next time I'll take my own damn home BP cuff and a thermometer and tell them that I'll happily monitor my own but that I do not consent to the nursing assistant coming in to take vitals unless the nurse is also in there to attend to something else. I want all those fuckers to just leave me the fuck alone.
Did you have a gentle c section? If so, did it actually go according to plan? Did you actually get to do immediate skin to skin and breastfeeding? Was recovery actually easier than unscheduled? If no to any of that, what didn’t go according to plan?
Did your H get to be with you for the spinal or did they make you do it alone? Was it cold when you got the spinal? Did the anesthesia make you shake or vomit? Were you allowed to have a doula or other additional support person in the OR?
Would you have done anything differently?
Did your OB talk to you about risks of placenta abnormalities for a future pregnancy?
I just have a compulsive need for more information.
I'm not sure what you mean by gentle.
The baby is no longer inside me and is a healthy almost 4 year old, so yeah, I guess it went to plan.
I didn't get to do immediate skin to skin because *I* had complications (lost a crap ton of blood, my blood pressure tanked and recovery was rough, then I got back to the room and promptly puked and told the nurse I felt like I needed to run around, so they hit me with IV zofran and ativan and I was OUT for the next 4 hours).
Recovery was 100% better than unscheduled (after the ativan incident of course).
H was not there for the spinal, I think it was cold, but I don't remember shaking. I will say that my Nurse Anethetist was amazing, she made sure that she gave me like 3 different nausea control drugs (one was a patch that I wore behind my ear for the next 3 days). So zero chunk blowing until well after the surgery - who knows wtf was up with that (other than the extremely low blood pressure).
My H was allowed in the OR, he said my insides were 'cool but gross'.
Nope, no discussion about placenta abnormalities, but he knew this was our last pregnancy. There was discussion about a tubal ligation while I was under, but we opted against it for a variety of reasons that may or may not have been founded in truth and logic. DH was getting a V so I didn't really care .
The only thing I'd do differently would be to ignore that whole 'nothing by mouth for 8 hours' rule, and have some water along the way, maybe stopping with in 2 hrs so that I wouldn't be SO freaking dehydrated. It was nearly impossible to get the IV in, and I was starting to get light headed from all the attempts...
Oh! The mention of showering reminds me: nobody told me I could shower for FOUR DAYS after my c-section. Why the fuck would I have known I could shower when nobody told me? So I showered at like 5am on Sunday morning before my induction, had a c-section in the wee hours of Tuesday, and didn’t shower until Friday. In the meantime, I had barfed all over myself and had diarrhea on the table thanks to the anti-hemorrhage drugs. I was so gross. When I finally asked my doc on Friday when I could shower, she was like, “What? You haven't showered? Of course you can shower?” WHAT THE FUCK WHY DID NOBODY TELL ME.
I swear these people seem to think that first time moms who’ve only ever had wisdom teeth surgery should actually know this shit. My only other experience with major surgery was my H’s brain surgery, where he was legitimately not allowed to shower until day 22 of his hospital stay because of his incision.
I was, for lack of a better term, shower shamed by the nurses that removed my catheter. I had DH put my things in the shower knowing that they were going to come. They did, I got up, and they were like whoa whoa what are you doing? And I’m like, uh showering, I’m gross. And they were like whyyy? You need to relax. There are moms who gave birth vaginally on Monday (this was Wednesday afternoon) who still haven’t showered, there’s no rush. I’m like, ok good for them but at the end of things, I was taking 2 showers/day, so I’m 3 showers behind. 😂 I literally had a shower chaperone bc they were sure I was going to pass out. Nope. The next day’s shower was better bc that’s when I washed my hair, but that first one was pretty great.
Oh! The mention of showering reminds me: nobody told me I could shower for FOUR DAYS after my c-section. Why the fuck would I have known I could shower when nobody told me? So I showered at like 5am on Sunday morning before my induction, had a c-section in the wee hours of Tuesday, and didn’t shower until Friday. In the meantime, I had barfed all over myself and had diarrhea on the table thanks to the anti-hemorrhage drugs. I was so gross. When I finally asked my doc on Friday when I could shower, she was like, “What? You haven't showered? Of course you can shower?” WHAT THE FUCK WHY DID NOBODY TELL ME.
I swear these people seem to think that first time moms who’ve only ever had wisdom teeth surgery should actually know this shit. My only other experience with major surgery was my H’s brain surgery, where he was legitimately not allowed to shower until day 22 of his hospital stay because of his incision.
I was, for lack of a better term, shower shamed by the nurses that removed my catheter. I had DH put my things in the shower knowing that they were going to come. They did, I got up, and they were like whoa whoa what are you doing? And I’m like, uh showering, I’m gross. And they were like whyyy? You need to relax. There are moms who gave birth vaginally on Monday (this was Wednesday afternoon) who still haven’t showered, there’s no rush. I’m like, ok good for them but at the end of things, I was taking 2 showers/day, so I’m 3 showers behind. 😂 I literally had a shower chaperone bc they were sure I was going to pass out. Nope. The next day’s shower was better bc that’s when I washed my hair, but that first one was pretty great.
Omg I think the post-CS shower was the greatest shower of my life, in that tiny stall and all. I’m glad no one shamed me! I wanted that catheter out BAD, so the nurse agreed to take it out a little sooner than usual but told me I’d have to fill the little toilet catch basin with a certain amount of pee or they would have to put it back in. I took that as a challenge! I was chugging water so I could pee a ton and did it no problem. The subsequent shower was glorious! My nurses were all about me getting up and moving. I walked laps around the hall every day, pushing the bassinet.
I was, for lack of a better term, shower shamed by the nurses that removed my catheter. I had DH put my things in the shower knowing that they were going to come. They did, I got up, and they were like whoa whoa what are you doing? And I’m like, uh showering, I’m gross. And they were like whyyy? You need to relax. There are moms who gave birth vaginally on Monday (this was Wednesday afternoon) who still haven’t showered, there’s no rush. I’m like, ok good for them but at the end of things, I was taking 2 showers/day, so I’m 3 showers behind. 😂 I literally had a shower chaperone bc they were sure I was going to pass out. Nope. The next day’s shower was better bc that’s when I washed my hair, but that first one was pretty great.
Omg I think the post-CS shower was the greatest shower of my life, in that tiny stall and all. I’m glad no one shamed me! I wanted that catheter out BAD, so the nurse agreed to take it out a little sooner than usual but told me I’d have to fill the little toilet catch basin with a certain amount of pee or they would have to put it back in. I took that as a challenge! I was chugging water so I could pee a ton and did it no problem. The subsequent shower was glorious! My nurses were all about me getting up and moving. I walked laps around the hall every day, pushing the bassinet.
I did this, too. I was wearing my own nightgown and undies from home by the end of day 2. I just didn't shower because NOBODY FUCKING TOLD ME I COULD.
I'm just still very upset and traumatized by the overall nursing care I got. I am trying to get to a headspace where I am OK with RCS. I just really really do not want the recovery.
Omg I think the post-CS shower was the greatest shower of my life, in that tiny stall and all. I’m glad no one shamed me! I wanted that catheter out BAD, so the nurse agreed to take it out a little sooner than usual but told me I’d have to fill the little toilet catch basin with a certain amount of pee or they would have to put it back in. I took that as a challenge! I was chugging water so I could pee a ton and did it no problem. The subsequent shower was glorious! My nurses were all about me getting up and moving. I walked laps around the hall every day, pushing the bassinet.
I did this, too. I was wearing my own nightgown and undies from home by the end of day 2. I just didn't shower because NOBODY FUCKING TOLD ME I COULD.
I'm just still very upset and traumatized by the overall nursing care I got. I am trying to get to a headspace where I am OK with RCS. I just really really do not want the recovery.
You mean the hospital stay afterwards? (because of the nursing care etc you received during that period) I’m pretty sure there is a poster on here who only spent one night in the hospital after their c/s. I was actually offered a 4th night that I almost took but in hindsight, I probably would have been fine going home in the late afternoon after the 2nd night. Or like the whole open abdomen, no driving or heavy lifting for 2 weeks, bleeding forever recovery? Bc, for as easy a strictly surgical recovery I had, the rest of it blew.
My second was scheduled to be a C from the start. It was unscheduled in the sense that it had to be done sooner than my doctor expected so DS was born at 37 weeks. This one was at a different hospital so I didn’t expect them to administer the anesthesia while sitting up, I thought you had to be laying down for that like they did during my first C. I remember a little cold I think.
My placenta functioned very poorly with the first so for the second, my MFM had me on baby aspirin from day 1. She followed my first pregnancy so she knew what to do for the second. It worked I guess since DS made it to 37 weeks as opposed to DD at 33 weeks. DS had not gained weight from week 35 to 37 due to the placenta starting to fail again which is why she delivered.
I’m weird in that I feel like the birth process is more controlled with a C but it could be I had gentle recoveries. I took only ibuprofen with both once the IV meds wore off. I also did not have anyone in the room with me by my choice. My husband is squeamish and met both babies right after they came out of the OR. I loved both of my delivering doctors and feel a lot of the reason for my positive C experiences are because I was followed by one doctor from start to delivery. They knew me, my case, my wishes and I trusted all of their decisions. I also had small babies (5 lb 4 oz and smaller) so I don’t know if that contributes to ease of recovery.
I could have done without the billion residents involved once you get to the hospital but I was once a resident so I tried not to get too irritated. I did not ask for skin to skin with #2 and was not planning to BF so I don’t know how they would have handled that.
I did this, too. I was wearing my own nightgown and undies from home by the end of day 2. I just didn't shower because NOBODY FUCKING TOLD ME I COULD.
I'm just still very upset and traumatized by the overall nursing care I got. I am trying to get to a headspace where I am OK with RCS. I just really really do not want the recovery.
You mean the hospital stay afterwards? (because of the nursing care etc you received during that period) I’m pretty sure there is a poster on here who only spent one night in the hospital after their c/s. I was actually offered a 4th night that I almost took but in hindsight, I probably would have been fine going home in the late afternoon after the 2nd night. Or like the whole open abdomen, no driving or heavy lifting for 2 weeks, bleeding forever recovery? Bc, for as easy a strictly surgical recovery I had, the rest of it blew.
The whole thing. My c-section recovery sucked. I still had abdominal pain 6 months out.
So ideally, what would your labor and recovery look like? And what can you do to make that happen? You don’t have to list it all out here, obviously, unless it’s helpful for you.
If you’re wanting to avoid a CS at all costs, I’d find an ob who specializes in vbacs. Have a consult, get more info, and go from there. If I thought I had a decent chance of vbac’ing successfully, I would have seriously considered going to a different doctor here who is the vbac King. Ds1’s birth was not awesome and a bit traumatic for H. His initial apgar was a 1, he was blue, and he had to be resuscitated. We waited too long to the CS and he was in distress. My H felt very strongly about doing a rcs with #2 to avoid a similar situation; he felt like a rcs was more controlled since baby was fine, do CS which is quick compared to labor, baby comes out fine. While it was ultimately my decision, I did consider him and that, coupled with my pelvis shape is why I made peace with an rcs. It took most of the pg to get there and I thought about it way too much. At the end of the day I went into labor on my own (which I really, really wanted), had the clear drape, did immediate skin to skin, and BF right away. I would have preferred to have a vbac but am happy with my Rcs.
Anecdotally, rcs Recovery is usually easier since you’re not laboring/pushing beforehand.
pinotgrig , I went into babyharpy's birth with very little plan. My main plan was to probably get an epidural and have a vaginal birth. I had assumed I would go into spontaneous labor and labor at home for a little while - one of the bonuses of living half a mile from the hospital was supposed to be that I didn't have to rush there.
Except for the epidural, which was super super shitty, I got none of that. My OB stripped my membranes at 39/3. At that time, I was 1cm, firm and high. She told me I should have some cramping and maybe some spotting, but I had nothing. I went in for my induction at 39/6, which I absolutely did not want, and just knew in my bones nothing had changed. When they checked me, surprise surprise, my cervix had done exactly nothing since having my membranes stripped. My OB tried to place a Foley bulb but couldn't get it in. I had 3 doses of misoprostol over the course of the entire day. My water broke around 11:40 that night - although nobody believed me, and the recorded my ROM as 12:30 the next morning. That right there is bullshit because there is no way I just imagined a big gush of fluid exactly 50 minutes before my actual ROM. Because I was induced, I had continuous monitoring - something nobody told me would happen until I got in the room. And despite being told during childbirth class that the hospital had portable monitors that let you be monitored while walking the halls, I was told once I got there that the telemetry monitors didn't actually work outside the room so you could only walk around your tiny room. I never tried to cope with the contractions in any position but in bed because I was just constantly gushing fluid, and they didn't follow the hospital policy of offering me mesh underwear and a pad - they made me waddle to and from the toilet while carrying a big pad below me. At about 8:30 the second morning, I was around 4cm. The contractions themselves I could cope with, but they were getting really close together (like every 2 minutes) so I could never recover from them. The nurse recommended I go ahead and get an epidural because "the best" anesthesiologist was on call. FUUUUUUCK THAT. It numbed my legs. I couldn't move. But the contraction pain was still excruciating. It was doing nothing for that. At one point, the nurse told me that I should still feel some pressure - this despite the fact that I couldn't talk during the contractions because the pain was so bad. After FIVE HOURS, they finally got the epidural working enough for me to get a little sleep. I slept for about 3 hours, and when I woke up, I was at 9cm. I never progressed beyond there. And lucky me, the epidural stopped working on my contractions. I also had excruciating low back pain at that point. The nurses were trying to get me to change sides periodically, but a) I didn't understand why (because nobody explained it to me before I was delirious, and b) the issue wasn't that the epidural wasn't working on one side, it was that it wasn't working on the contractions AT ALL, only my legs. I vomited a ton. I got horrific heartburn and it was a goddamned ordeal to get them to get me some Tums or Zantac. When I'd made no progress after 4 hours, my OB told my nurses to try the peanut ball. That didn't work. I actually made it 9.5cm, and my OB said that if the baby descended, it would push me the rest of the way there. But the baby never descended, and I went back to 9cm. So at midnight they finally did the C-section. I cried when they said we needed to do it. I signed the papers, but I have no recollection of anybody talking to me about risks vs. benefits. I know I got to see her after she was born, but I don't actually remember seeing her. Then my husband started to get faint (by this time he hadn't eaten in 8 hours), so he had to leave. So I was alone. I was shaking and dry heaving. And then my OB said I was hemorrhaging. And then she said she'd give it 15 more minutes before a hysterectomy. I remember they gave me meds to dissolve in my cheek to help stop the bleeding, but they wouldn't let me have even a sip of water and I couldn't dissolve the meds because my mouth was too dry. Then I remember nothing until waking up in the recovery room.
So my ideal labor would basically be the opposite of alllllllll that. It would involve a) going into spontaneous labor, b) laboring for a while at home (not super recommended for VBAC), c) having supportive nurses who actually help with...anything...and actually listen to/believe me, d) probably not getting an epidural so early and moving around more (which would require more supportive nurses than I had, see item C), e) IF I get an epidural, having it actually fucking WORK, and f) vaginal delivery.
All I can really do to make this happen is lose weight and hire a doula. I can't decrease my age. I can't change my lack of vaginal delivery. I can't change the reason for my primary C-section. So I'm trying to lose weight, but skinny people have NO IDEA how hard it is. I can be doing OK, but literally ONE indulgence like two glasses of wine or a piece of cake at a party can set me back an entire week. I guess I'm supposed to go the rest of my life without a single French fry or drop of alcohol or dessert, which sounds super fun (eyeroll). But even with a doula, I can't guarantee spontaneous labor. Even with someone advocating for me, I can't guarantee that the nurses would actually be responsive and provide the care I need. I can't guarantee that an epidural would actually work or that the anesthesiologist would give a shit.
So in that respect, I understand that scheduled RCS is much more controlled. But I still can't guarantee that the anesthesiologist will give a shit. I can't guarantee that the nurses will give a shit. I can't guarantee that they will actually do their jobs, that I'll get to hold my baby, that they won't do something against my wishes.
I am pretty convinced that I got shitty nursing care because I was highly anxious and the nurses just decided I was a pain in the ass and they were going to do the bare minimum for me. Fuck every last one of them. They were huge contributors to my trauma, and each one of them should pay.
Basically I know that RCS eliminates all this ^^^ and that the hemorrhage risk for scheduled RCS is very low, much lower than RCS after failed TOLAC. And I know that scheduled CS recovery is generally better than CS following a long labor. So I understand it would be a less traumatic experience, I'm far less likely to wind up with a ketamine blackout, etc. But I just DON'T want my abdomen cut open again. The recovery was hell. "Get moving, it makes recovery easier!" "Take it easy, don't overdo it!" I had NO idea how to marry those two pieces of advice. I still don't. "Listen to your body" is the world's shittiest advice to someone who is exhausted and traumatized. I basically alternated between going stir crazy or overdoing it and being in a lot of pain. All these people who are like, "I only took ibuprofen" can fuck right off because I was taking oxycodone for two fucking weeks after my C-section. I honestly wanted to take them for another week but was low on pills, and my OB's partner who I saw when my incision started hurting more wouldn't give me any more. (That bitch has also never had a baby, let alone a C-section, so fuck her, too, she has no idea what it's like. She literally tried to compare my recovery to her goddamned ANKLE injury she got from running. LOL, fuck off and die, honey.)
Ok, that is a supremely shitty experience. I knew your l&d was not awesome, but had never seen all the details in one place. It definitely seems like you were failed at each turn and I’m really sorry you had to go through that.
Do you like your ob or no? I thought you did maybe I was mistaken. I would look into switching ob’s. A fresh start with a new person who you can tell this story to and explain how you want your second delivery to the complete opposite of.
I think having a doula there would be excellent. I think you will be a strong advocate for yourself the next time, but having another person well-versed in this will give you some peace of mind.
If you deliver at the same hospital, I would consider trying to have a sit down with someone. There’s someone in the patient experience (lol) or similar department who should listen to you and help you game plan for next time. They’ll also be able to see who cared for you last time and note your preferences this time around. You may get some pushback on this but deliveries are a different ballgame - you have a sucky experience with a one-time surgery and you probably won’t have to repeat it. But having another kid fairly close in age with the possibility of an rcs - you know you’re going to deliver again and possibly in a way that was really traumatic for you. It may take some persistence to get someone to talk to you, but I think this would go a long way in setting up a better experience.
pinotgrig, I do like my OB. I had a 45-minute conversation with her yesterday. She has had multiple long conversations with me. The thing is, unless I were to find an OB who is actually super hands-on in the pain management part of labor, I don't think I would find another OB who would do anything differently.
I lay most of the blame with the nurses and the hospital. I really want to deliver at another hospital, but my OB doesn't have privileges there. So my choices are switch OBs or go back to that hospital. I don't know that I have it in me to find another OB.
I actually did sit down with the director of perinatal education and the labor and delivery manager in the spring to go over this. I told them that there is a serious disconnect in the way the role of the nurses is presented in the childbirth class and the role they actually played. The childbirth class indicated they would be very hands-on. The way it was described, I thought a doula sounded completely unnecessary, which is why I didn't get one. But that was not my experience at all. I told them that if that's how their nurses are going to be, that's fine, but they need to be honest with people in the class that the nurses will not be hands-on and that if they are going to need assistance, they should hire a doula. They also confirmed to me that there were definitely things - like the mesh undies and the peanut ball - that did not comport with their standards. So who knows if they will actually change anything, but I've at least presented the information.
I've already been working on a birth plan for next time (I currently have a TOLAC, RCS after failed TOLAC, and scheduled RCS plans going, LOL), and I have a list of people who are not allowed to participate in my care. It currently includes nearly every nurse and physician (other than my OB) who was part of babyharpy's delivery, any students, and any PGY-1 residents. They can all keep the FUCK away from me.
I'm still really angry because I do not think everything possible was done to get a vaginal delivery. Maybe I would have had a C-section anyway, but if I'd had more support, I would at least know we did everything we could. Instead, I'll never know if we could have gotten a vaginal delivery, and I'm now a statistically terrible candidate for VBAC.
In my ideal world, I get really skinny, got pop out a bunch of babies by myself in a cave, and then go shove them in the nurses faces while telling them to go fuck themselves. So, you know, super healthy coping over here.