Wow. I think both of your requests were totally reasonable. I can almost understand them not taking better precautions from the start if your child is the first they've had (or first in a long time) with serious allergies, but once they have a child with serious allergies and the issues are brought to their attention, they should be all over enforcing the policies they have and making sure your child is safe.
That email response is NOT acceptable to me, in any way. I'm so sorry, that puts you in a really difficult position. I know I would not be comfortable sending my kid to a place where they are so blase about allergy safety, but if you don't want to leave, that leaves you with the options of attending events where you child could possibly have a reaction, or not attending any out of school activities, and that sucks.
I know last year was the first year they had a peanut free room, then this was the first year they had a nut free school. So I do think this is a “newer” thing for them, and I’m willing to help do education. Additionally, I talked to the parents of the (one of the?) peanut allergic kids and he doesn’t have an Epi pen, they don’t worry about cross contact, etc, so I think my son’s allergy may be more severe than what they are used to managing. He’s reacted to cross contaminated foods before (Taylor farms packaged vegetables that are on shared lines with some of their salads that have nuts) so we are super vigilant. It’s just exhausting. Last year his school had never had a kid with a nut allergy before and it was a big deal too. I just don’t understand how in 2018 schools are not on top of food allergies!
My kids don’t have allergies but I am happy to leave nuts at home or bring things store bought to keep kids safe. It’s apparent she does not understand the severity of your son’s allergy and cross contamination.
I'm glad you're willing to educate them. And personally, I'd throw some "mama bear" into it. This is new to them. Your child is essentially HELPLESS. And with the severity of your son's allergy, I'd put it to them in extremes - your child could die from contact. This isn't about "Oh- he has a little rash". The consequences could be serious. THEY need to take his allergy seriously.
I mean - don't go in guns blazing, but I'd put my personal situation into this while educating them.
If it's a school sponsored event, then it should follow school rules. Being nut free doesn't really help if it's not across the board. And to what I said earlier about our school not allowing treats - there will be pushback, there will be parents throwing their hands up saying "but what can I bring if I can't bring my cute PBJ sushi roll!?!?!?", but in time, they will learn.
Post by minniemouse on Oct 24, 2018 7:38:38 GMT -5
I’m sorry you have to deal with this. Your requests are completely reasonable and what our public school already does. Any food that is served at school wife functions has to be from the school safe list. In the nut free classrooms they can’t do any crafts or science projects that involve food unless they are listed on the school safe list too. I think that rule is great, and my kids don’t have allergies! Starting in kindergarten, the kids get an annual lesson on how to protect classmates with allergies (wash hands, don’t share food etc) and what to do if someone is having a reaction (get an adult immediately). Dd2 just brought home the handout yesterday- if you want a copy to share with your school PM me.
Post by patches31709 on Oct 24, 2018 7:39:46 GMT -5
I'm sorry you're dealing with this. Can you suggest that no outside food be allowed for these events? It seems like your son's risk for cross-contamination is high - I would hate to think I was bringing in something nut free, but it was cross-contaminated in my kitchen somehow.
Maybe this is a UO but I would pass on events like this
I’m not clear on whether it’s a school sponsored picnic or just a more casual get together but if it’s the former I would expect a better response. I think it’s generally the norm anymore to just flat out say no peanuts to any type Of gathering, especially involving kids
Maybe this is a UO but I would pass on events like this
I’m not clear on whether it’s a school sponsored picnic or just a more casual get together but if it’s the former I would expect a better response. I think it’s generally the norm anymore to just flat out say no peanuts to any type Of gathering, especially involving kids
It was a school-sponsored “fall party.” It was on a Saturday afternoon at a park, but organized by the school.
I'm sorry. That response sucks. I'd probably respond with something like "Unfortunately, because even peanut dust in the air can kill my child, we would need to decline future events if they are not made nut free." and then throw in your research on what the CDC says.
I'll say it again, people who serve nuts at kid events are dicks. And we love PB in our house.
Post by vanillacourage on Oct 24, 2018 8:13:57 GMT -5
I agree the school should have a no-nuts policy for the picnic (hell, just add that info to the sign up genius) but if your kid is allergic enough that cross-contamination is enough to cause a reaction, I wouldn’t trust food cooked in other peoples’ homes anyway. I doubt the school is going to agree to cook the food in their commercial kitchen or agree to have the event catered, so I’d think about what realistic outcome you’re going for before pushing further. I’d absolutely respond to their crappy email, I’d just think several steps ahead.
I agree the school should have a no-nuts policy for the picnic (hell, just add that info to the sign up genius) but if your kid is allergic enough that cross-contamination is enough to cause a reaction, I wouldn’t trust food cooked in other peoples’ homes anyway. I doubt the school is going to agree to cook the food in their commercial kitchen or agree to have the event catered, so I’d think about what realistic outcome you’re going for before pushing further. I’d absolutely respond to their crappy email, I’d just think several steps ahead.
I still wouldn’t feed him food from other parents, but I would like to avoid kids holding a cookie with nuts while playing my son.
I would pass on this. E's daycare is a nut free facility, and they had their fall festival last week. We were all reminded not to send in treats with nuts or processed in a nut facility.
Our school has a lot of food restrictions due to allergies. We follow the policy for everything, even when we hold non school sponsored play dates at the park and people are bringing snacks to share.
I am also the assistant soccer coach and team manager for DS1’s team. When sending out the snack schedule I asked parents to respond if we have any food allergies on the team so everyone could be included.
I don’t understand why this is so hard for people. Sorry you are dealing with this OP. I wouldn’t be happy with that response at all and wouldn’t be attending anymore events like that.
That email is a BS response. No. They are either on board to keep things PN/TN free or they're not. I'd be pissed in your shoes boiler717. Because it's a newer policy with them I'd give them time to make it right, but if they can't commit to keeping your child safe (even at events outside of school time), then you have to decide what you want to do for future childcare needs. Or whether you just want to opt out of future outside events.
Thank you for your response. We would like to continue this discussion about how the nut free policy applies to school events. If you prefer to meet in person or via phone that is fine, but I've included our thoughts below. We would like to hear your concerns as well about having this policy apply to school events so that we can work together to come up with a plan that is comfortable for all of us.
As parents of a young child with food allergies we are still navigating the best way to handle school, social events, and life in general. We have learned a lot through FARE (Food Allergy Resource & Education), and they have great resources for schools as well. We are vigilant at all times, but know that creating safe environments is the best way to minimize the risk of anaphylaxis. It is very scary for us to see things that we know are potentially fatal to our child set within easy reach and in the hands of other children he is playing with. Many environments are outside of our control; however, we feel that his school and school-sponsored events should be safe for him. In the past we have declined to attend social events where nuts were present out of concern for his safety, but we had assumed that XXX-sponsored events would follow the XXX nut free policy.
While labeling food can help prevent direct exposure to an allergen, our primary concern is with indirect exposure at school events. Some specific reasons for our concerns about indirect exposure include: lack of hand washing after eating outdoors, children eating food while walking around, shared surfaces for many games and activities (potentially transferring nut proteins to other children), and more. We work very hard teaching DS not to accept food from anyone but us, but at the preschool age it's very hard because kids often want to "share" food with friends and don't always remember to ask if things are safe.
Additionally, one of the recommendations from the CDC published guidelines for managing food allergies in schools and early care environments is to "make sure that events and field trips are consistent with food allergy policies." Here is a link to the summary of the recommendations that may be helpful for XXX: www.foodallergy.org/sites/default/files/2017-08/cdc-reducing-risk.pdf. Having a consistent policy makes it easier for other parents to follow and also highlights the importance of safety in this area.
Like I said before, we hope this can be a dialogue and want to hear from you on your concerns about having this policy at school events so we can better understand your point of view. In our experience, other parents have been very receptive to not bringing nuts to events with children who have severe allergies. We are more than happy to help with any communication as to why this is important for the safety of children with food allergies.
I think your response is great. It outlines your concerns and your desire to work together to create a safe environment for your kid and any others with allergies (or who may develop them).
As a parent of a kid with no allergies, I would make it more clear about the touching and transferring of the allergen and how that could cause a deathly reaction for your child. People who don't have to think about these things, do not think about them, I have found. They are just not used to it and don't realize the ramifications.
I agree that you need to stress the consequences of cross contamination. The risk isn’t just from eating things and that seems to be missing from your email.
Post by countthestars on Oct 24, 2018 10:31:18 GMT -5
I think your email is great. I would add another line in the "While labeling" paragraph that even more specifically calls out that he could have an anaphylactic reaction to just touching something that another child did after not washing their hands - you've got it, but even clearer would hammer it home.
That response email from them is not good at all. We don’t have any allergies but I do not let my kids play at the playground or indoor play areas after eating peanuts without washing their hands. I’d expect the no nut policy to extend to any school event with kids that young.
Post by game blouses on Oct 24, 2018 13:08:20 GMT -5
I can’t tell you how much easier my life would be if I sent PBJs in DS2’s lunch every once in a while. I don’t because I’m not an asshole.
My go-to recipe for picnics and potlucks has a peanut butter base. I don’t make it because I’m not an asshole.
My convenience means nothing compared to the health and safety of a child. People who continue to send nut-based foods to schools and host food-based games are exhibiting the height of privilege - if it doesn’t directly affect them, they don’t change it.
I hope you get a better response and your DS can safely join in for the next event.
Are you familiar with the training of their staff on allergies and how to handle? I do not want to alarm you or jump to conclusions, but I wonder how seriously they take allergies in general? I say this because of a friend of mine left a daycare because they misplaced her son's epi-pen. I guess it expired or his dosage changed and she brought in a new one and asked for the old one back. I kid you not, it took them 45 minutes to find his epi-pen. Can you imagine if he was going into anaphylactic shock and needed it??? It was one of the large chain centers and she went all the way to corporate with her complaint. They immediately retrained the entire staff at that center.
I can’t tell you how much easier my life would be if I sent PBJs in DS2’s lunch every once in a while. I don’t because I’m not an asshole.
Ditto. And no peanut butter granola bars for breakfast on school days. I explained Thursday it could make a classmate very sick, and he hasn't asked again.
Post by minionkevin on Oct 24, 2018 15:44:39 GMT -5
School sponsored events, even if not on a school day should (relatively speaking) follow the same rules as the school/classroom, especially wrt allergies.
I might have missed, but was the event held at the school?
I feel that it's totally reasonable to not serve foods containing nuts at school events. I mean, if the school/class/whatever is PN/TN free, then any event should also be PN/TN free. The response you received is ridiculous.
No, not at school. At a nearby park. The school is in a more urban environment without their own outdoor space.
Oh man, I was pissed for you reading that email!! Is that lady just stupid or what? My DDs attend a private Montessori as well, and they are completely nut (any and every) free. I sent in a granola bar for snack the other day after a morning field trip, and I didn’t even think to see if it was made it a plant that also processed nuts, and it was. Thankfully they caught it and sent it back home unopened. It probably helps that the owner/director has a severe nut allergy, though...
Post by barefootcontessa on Oct 24, 2018 19:59:38 GMT -5
I am sorry your son has severe allergies. My daughter is also anaphylactic to nuts and also sesame. In this situation I would not expect the school to police what foods people bring to a weekend, off-site event. It is different than school because you are there to monitor what your child eats and does. If you are that worried your son will be exposed indirectly then I would just stay home. I know it sucks but this is just the reality of allergies. As your child gets older, he will know when something is wrong and will be less vulnerable. We skipped stuff when my daughter was younger and now that she is five she can tell me when her mouth feels tingly, etc.