Gifting up at work advice

[bears]

A few months ago, I started a new job as a manager. The role is a new one; my team previously reported to my manager (so I am an extra layer of management).

They asked me what we should get my boss for Christmas this year--apparently in previous years they chipped in and got him a gift card.

My perspective is that office gift giving only should go down, not up. I don't think it's right or fair for them to get me (or my boss) a present.

What's the most professional way to I handle this without causing offense?

[bears]

Let me note that any gift giving at work is really foreign to me. I've been in professional jobs for 11 years and only once did I get a Christmas gift from a boss, so giving a gift to a supervisor was never on my mind.

[laterz]

Gifting down ok. Gifting up not ok.

Everything I know I learned on Ask a Manager. 😀

[laterz]

Iirc she has some suggestions on how to manage this.

[just]

Our culture is gift down. We can gift up, but only modest personal gifts. No cash equivalents (gift cards).

In the past I’ve bought my boss a bottle of wine (I know she drinks, a box of chocolates, a book, some stationary - those are all in different years.

[jennistarr1]

As someone on the down, I hate the whole concept

In your case, I think I would ask boss (you are new , right?) for how gifts are handled in office. That might shed some light on how comfortable he or she is with giving and receiving presents

[wildrice]

Honestly I've only heard of "no gifting up" on here. Both organizations I've worked for in my professional career had no problems with gifting up. It really just depending on the individual team whether or not they did that. It would be an exchange in my experience, with nobody spending a ton of money in either direction.

I wouldn't give a boss an expensive gift, but TBH if this is already an established part of your team's culture, I probably wouldn't try to put a stop to it either. I think it's fine to say "I would prefer not to receive a gift" but I'd leave the boss one alone.

[iheartbanjos]

When I was working, we always gifted up as well. As a team of 8, we would contribute about $20/each towards a gift card. We were all high income earners, so this was a nominal amount. Our manager, on the other hand, would spend $100+ on a gift for each of us.

[cabbagecabbage]

Any time I've gifted up it's been more of a token: a CD I think they'd like, an ornament that looks like their pet, their favorite treat. My husband is in management and he doesn't want to be given nice gifts from his team and feels awkward accepting.

[Deleted]

We gifted up a long time. We bought either a floral centerpiece or a fresh wreath for each boss. It was costing us $100/each. So we stopped that nonsense and we host a breakfast 10 months of the year. It is so much more affordable and really helps brighten the months we have nothing going on but the slog.

[wildrice]

Dec 11, 2018 9:36:41 GMT -5 @bigtowlittletoe said:

We gifted up a long time. We bought either a floral centerpiece or a fresh wreath for each boss. It was costing us $100/each. So we stopped that nonsense and we host a breakfast 10 months of the year. It is so much more affordable and really helps brighten the months we have nothing going on but the slog.

$100 each is outrageous. I don't think I've ever spent more than $20. In my experience we'd just give to our immediate supervisor, not the whole management team. That definitely changes my answer if the expectation is to spend a significant amount of money on gifts!

[circa1978]

Gifting up is also a thing where I work. My boss is truly my mentor and friend so I like to find something she’d love. This year I’m cross stitching a phrase she coined that we use all the time, so I don’t drop major $$$.

I also give to my whole team but I don’t expect anything.
Related, what do I give them all this year? The whole team except one turned over in the past four months. My newest employee - who is on the same level as the most senior - just started in the last few weeks. I’m thinking gift cards for everyone but just give something extra to my longtime employee? She did amazing work this year and the new guy is just starting, and she’s senior to the other team members. Weirdly for us, the rest are all men now so I really don’t have as much of a friendship with them.

ETA: Sorry, didn’t mean to hijack your question. Honestly, in your situation, I’d give this year and then work on changing the culture next year. We also do a white elephant exchange that our leadership team participated in. Leadership always spends more so we’re giving the “good” gifts. Maybe something like that next year?

[picaflora]

I've only worked in one dept that involved non company sponsored gifts, but it was a close knit group, and our direct bosses were amazing. We'd do a collection among the 8 members (no set amount, give what you feel comfortable), and we'd split it onto gift cards for places we knew they went. Our assistant manager stopped to get coffee from a local shop every day, so that's where his went. Our boss would buy us all something for the office that was nice, but not super pricey. Ex: one year it was a small LED lamp, because our cubes were in a dark corner, the next year we all got lucky bamboo, and the last year I was there we got nice insulated mugs that had silly/trendy sayings on them.

[ECB]

Dec 11, 2018 9:15:57 GMT -5 wildrice said:

Honestly I've only heard of "no gifting up" on here. Both organizations I've worked for in my professional career had no problems with gifting up. It really just depending on the individual team whether or not they did that. It would be an exchange in my experience, with nobody spending a ton of money in either direction.

I wouldn't give a boss an expensive gift, but TBH if this is already an established part of your team's culture, I probably wouldn't try to put a stop to it either. I think it's fine to say "I would prefer not to receive a gift" but I'd leave the boss one alone.

The bolded is where I'm at.  Especially at this point in time- barely 2 weeks out!  I think to try and change this culture now probably won't go over well.  IF you want to shift expectations for the future, then start working on that.  I agree with whoever said to maybe talk to your boss about the overall gift giving expectations.  Depending on what your boss says, you may get a feel for if they are comfortable with the gifting up or not.  

[CloudBee]

What a strange work culture. The only gifting up that seems appropriate is something small and personal. Or a random bottle of hot sauce that's hard to find and you know someone likes. Small, simple. Not a GC.

That said, I agree with the posters above. It's too soon to change things at this point. Go with the flow, and then see if you can navigate around GC's or cash equivalents in the future.

[definitelyO]

I gift up to my boss. Nothing outrageous - but something associated with her hobbies or our mutual interests.

I have a team of 4 and they do not gift up thankfully. I do get them Christmas gifts probably in the $50 range each.

[Eagles]

Our boss is really great to us, so we chip in for a nice gift. At my last job I didn't do shit because my boss was a turd.

It's situational.