Rules and consequences for Ipod use

[persa]

H bought DD an ipod (ETA like an iPhone without cell phone) for Christmas which I'm not thrilled about but I'd like to draft up rules to go with its use and want to get suggestions. ETA also she's 8.

Obviously time limits will need to be placed on it for weekdays and weekends. I'd also like to see exactly what she's using it for (she's not supposed to be on youtube) and where it is (she's not supposed to take it to school).

I'd like consequences for lying, not completing chores when told and.. What else? Do you do it a 3 strike violation and it's gone for a week type thing?

Any help would be appreciated. This is a kid who hasn't had a lot a consequences for bad behavior due to us being distracted by major events in our lives and I think having something concrete would help her.

[rosiebear]

An iPhone? How old is your daughter?

I think you can set whichever limits you want regarding time online and a standing invitation to view her browsing history.

You can make her leave it on the table when she leaves for school.

I’m not sure that it ties into consequences for other behavior except as a currency that might work.

[TR]

They still make iPods?

[persa]

Dec 21, 2018 20:08:39 GMT -5 rosiebear said:

An iPhone? How old is your daughter?

I think you can set whichever limits you want regarding time online and a standing invitation to view her browsing history.

You can make her leave it on the table when she leaves for school.

I’m not sure that it ties into consequences for other behavior except as a currency that might work.

Ipod. Basically an iPhone without cell service. Oh, I should have mentioned she's 8.

[rosiebear]

Huh. I had no idea one could access the internet via an iPod.

Eta: oh! The iPod Touch! Now I get it. I was thinking of the music players.

[jr009j]

So I’m presuming a Touch? You can set all sorts of limits under the Screentime function.

I would set a rule that it needs to be in a certain place from 8-8 or whatever time limits work for you.

[VillainV]

I would recommend you sit down with HER and come up with rules/consequences together. This will give her more buy-in to the process and instill a sense of responsibility in her, rather than “here’s this cool thing and here are all the rules.” She might surprise you with her maturity. Obviously you and your H will still have say and can guide the process.

I would recommend that YOU keep the password for downloading any apps so that you can veto. I recommend using the “screen time” feature to monitor how much time she spends on different things. No social media.

As a consequence, I’d say she should lose the device for X amount of time (let you and her determine).

[laurental]

My boys both have iPod touches. They are kept in our living room in a charging station and the boys have to ask if they want to use them. They play with them only in the living room or basement, not in their rooms. We do take them on long car rides or sometimes out to dinner, but then we (parents) hold onto them. There is no ipod time until homework is done.

[Dznyprnces]

You can set it up so that any purchase requires a password, even free apps. I have that on all devices my kids have acess to.

[devonpow]

For YouTube just block the website. That’s what we do in my kids devices. It’s very easy and when I’m feeling generous I put in the password for them and they get an hour of YouTube as a treat lol

DS1 has an iPod Touch (he’s 11). YouTube is blocked and we are on family sharing where all purchases and downloads get approval from me first. He can only text on WiFi so only uses texting really to text me or DH when he is home alone. It helps that none of his friends have phones etc yet so he doesn’t have anyone else he can text

[jaycee]

My son is almost 8 and uses our old iPad. He does not have access to the internet, but is able to use the wifi to watch netflix and to use apps. He can use it for one hour on Fridays, Saturdays and Sundays only. No use during Mon-Thurs. All apps are 4+ age limit, except for minecraft. Everything on netflix is a low age limit, too (can't remember exactly what I put on that).

My only advice for you is to thoroughly understand the settings on the iPod and start with more restrictions and then if that goes well, then give her access to more.

We treat the iPad as a privilege, so if he is acting like an ass in other areas of his life, then his privileges are revoked (no treats, no staying up late, no tv, no friends over, etc). Screen time is his currency, so taking it away usually corrects bad behavior...that being said, he lost it for two weekends in a row in October so he had no screen time for most of the month.

[Jalapeñomel]

I’d make her earn the time from the beginning. You want to use the iPod? You have to do insert chore for 15 minutes.

Also, I think it’s funny you entered a disclaimer as if we didn’t know what an iPod is. 🤣🤣🤣

[cosmowife]

My boys are getting iPods as well for Christmas (I was also surprised that they were still being made). I’m going to treat it like a mini iPad. Same limits and rules. They are only allowed iPad time on the weekends and we have all sorts of controls set up. We have safari blocked in its entirety which prevents unauthorized web access.

[persa]

Dec 22, 2018 9:08:48 GMT -5 Jalapeñomel said:

I’d make her earn the time from the beginning. You want to use the iPod? You have to do insert chore for 15 minutes.

Also, I think it’s funny you entered a disclaimer as if we didn’t know what an iPod is. 🤣🤣🤣

Hey, did you see how confused people were when I didn't call it an Ipod touch? Lol. I'm a Samsung person for many years now so I'm not as familiar with Apple/iOS and the settings anymore

I like this suggestion that you and @villianv, I think it was, made about it being an earned privilege from the beginning.

Our biggest deterrent to her facing consequences and following rules is 1) H is not exactly great at a consistent routine (he's the kind of guy that throws dirty clothes NEXT to a laundry hamper or empty boxes back in the cabinets or wet towels on the bed) and neither is he a firm disciplinarian to begin with and this was already a constant source of arguments with us. And then 2) life got really overwhelming really fast: she has young twin brothers that just turned 4, one of whom has diabetes since age 18 months and then (TW: cancer mentioned) I was diagnosed with cancer October 2017 when she was turning 7, I've been traveling for treatment, have been sick for a lot of it and also basically wheelchair bound since then. I am unlikely to survive till the next school year. So take a guy who sucks at consistency to begin with and then overwhelm him with trying to 85% solo parent and keep the kids alive (one of them literally) and the household afloat so she's just been kind of left to do her own thing over the past year)

Maybe too much detail, sorry.

[fryjack2]

persa. Im no help with the iPod touch but just wanted to say I’m sorry to read about your prognosis.

[erbear]

Maybe unpopular but given your situation, I would set fairly relaxed rules that are going to be able to be enforceable (block YouTube, has to charge downstairs from 8-8, no bringing it to school or into bedrooms) and let him do his best to monitor. JN the grand scheme of things, this should not be high on your "worry about it" list right now. ((persa))

[Jalapeñomel]

With your update, I say fuck it, do whatever makes your life a little easier and enjoyable.


I’m so sorry to hear about your prognosis. I will be sending you lots of good thoughts.

[VillainV]

With your update, I agree that a more relaxed approach, with maybe 2-3 hard and fast rules that are agreed upon and universally enforced, is probably the way to go. Bonus: that tends to work better for kids anyway.

[jaycee]

I’m sorry to read your update. I agree with the others. Go through the settings and make sure you are aware and then I would be lax with rules. Sending positive thoughts your way.

[Alps79]

Lots of prayers and positive thoughts your way. Mine don’t have devices yet but I was chatting with a friend just last night and they use Our Pact to monitor devices. It has a monthly fee but they really like it.

[nicbreeful]

I’m sorry about your prognosis and I will be sending prayers and good thoughts.

If you’re worried about internet access and stuff like that, I would just go through the App Store and download a bunch of fun, age appropriate apps before giving it to her (you can find tons of lists online for the most fun/educational apps) and then make it so she can’t access the internet. Then I would give it to her and let her have at it and not worry about internet usage and whatnot.

[suzubell]

Oh persa, so many hugs, thoughts, and prayers your way. I would (and do) use the Screen Time function to set limits on what my kids can play and for how long. If works really well.

[nsl]

I have no advice on the iPod front, but I do want to send you a lot of internet hugs and thoughts, Persa.

[morecoffeeplease]

I’m sorry Persa. <3

[bittybomb]

I’m so sorry you’re facing this.

I use an app called OurPact for my children’s iPods/iPads. They have a free version that does probably enough for what you’re looking for.

[Monica Geller]

I’m so sorry about your prognosis. 😞 I would do like PP suggests and set some basic security measures and then not worry about it. Hugs to you and yours.

[cleo29]

So many hugs to you.

i think just set a password for purchases that she does not know, so you two have complete approval. just do what you guys need to do to get through right now.

[idahome]

I don’t have kids, so I’m zero help with the rules situation. Reading your update, I wanted to say I’m so sorry and I’ll say a prayer for peace’s for you and family.

[abs]

I'm so sorry to read your diagnosis. Thinking of you guys.