s/o lying

[Deleted]

Not really.

I'm a big proponent of truth.

That's why I'm so perturbed by my recent realization of my friend's constant fibbing.

[Deleted]

You better believe me that I will be "working all weekend on my brief!" the weekend when my in-laws' church's awards ceremony comes around (they want us to come).

So yes.

[Deleted]

Sept 19, 2012 16:10:23 GMT -5 v said:

You better believe me that I will be "working all weekend on my brief!" the weekend when my in-laws' church's awards ceremony comes around (they want us to come).

So yes.

Wait what? Now I am intrigued. A church awards ceremony? I've heard of recognizing people for their work, like buying the volunteer Sunday school coordinator a small gift, but awards? I wasn't aware church was a competition!

[Deleted]

No. I hate liars. I have a hard time respecting someone after I catch them lying about shit. Why not just say no or not give any reason when you don't want to do something? Not everything needs to be justified to everyone. Like Oprah says, "no is a complete sentence".

[Deleted]

My friend asked me why I didn't go to her baby's baptism or the after-party.

I told her I was watching The Book of Mormon and that it was way too hot to mingle outside.

Maybe other people would lie about this. LOL.

[fbf2006]

Not really. In your coworker's case, I just wouldn't give any reason or that I'm just really tired. I don't know. It's not easy for me to make up lies.

[Deleted]

Sept 19, 2012 16:12:46 GMT -5 @angryharpy said:

Sept 19, 2012 16:10:23 GMT -5 v said:

You better believe me that I will be "working all weekend on my brief!" the weekend when my in-laws' church's awards ceremony comes around (they want us to come).

So yes.

Wait what? Now I am intrigued. A church awards ceremony? I've heard of recognizing people for their work, like buying the volunteer Sunday school coordinator a small gift, but awards? I wasn't aware church was a competition!

They (and many others) are receiving awards from the bishop or something for their service to their church.

I had to sit through a ceremony honoring people in their archdiocese for their religious service to their Catholic Boy Scouts council a few years ago when my FIL got an award. I was both viciously sick and hungover (I puked in the archdiocese parking lot as soon as we arrived), but even assuming good health, I really, really don't want to relive that. It went on for hours because there are a LOT of people who provide award-worthy religious service to the Boy Scouts, apparently.

So it's a shame that I have to work that weekend!

[Deleted]

Sept 19, 2012 16:13:50 GMT -5 @sirsleepsalot said:

No. I hate liars. I have a hard time respecting someone after I catch them lying about shit. Why not just say no or not give any reason when you don't want to do something? Not everything needs to be justified to everyone. Like Oprah says, "no is a complete sentence".

The problem is, "No" is a complete sentence that is often followed by "Why not?"

And "I have to work that weekend" is much nicer to me than "Because that awards ceremony sounds boring and I don't actually care about your church."

[HoneySpider]

I can't think of anything in particular. Oh wait, my neighbor invited me to one of those home jewelry parties and I said I had to work instead of just saying no. We were still fairly new in the neighborhood and I didn't want to be a bitch.

Now I know the neighbor is a wackadoodle bigot so I would have no problem telling her no.

[phunluvin82]

When I was in college, I did a semester abroad at a fairly unknown school in Oxford, England. Whenever people would ask me about it, I'd make a big deal about clarifying how I studied abroad in Oxford, but not at the Oxford.

My BF at the time was like, "Why do you do that? Just say 'in Oxford' and let them think whatever...no one will be the wiser."

So, the one time I actually try it on a random work acquaintance, it just happens that her daughter is about to go study abroad at Oxford University, so she wants to ask me all these questions about what it's like...in specifics of campuses, uniforms, policies, etc.

Lesson learned.

[catbus]

Sept 19, 2012 16:23:27 GMT -5 v said:

Sept 19, 2012 16:13:50 GMT -5 @sirsleepsalot said:

No. I hate liars. I have a hard time respecting someone after I catch them lying about shit. Why not just say no or not give any reason when you don't want to do something? Not everything needs to be justified to everyone. Like Oprah says, "no is a complete sentence".

The problem is, "No" is a complete sentence that is often followed by "Why not?"

And "I have to work that weekend" is much nicer to me than "Because that awards ceremony sounds boring and I don't actually care about your church."

Yeah, I'm a little confused by the comments from people who apparently never feel the need to lie.
That said, I can't think of any weird lies I've told at the moment. But I know I have told them. Usually when I'm put on the spot. I turn a bit Leslie Knope-like and will just keep adding on to my explanation. It's awkward.

[noodleoo]

I'm sure I tell white lies once in a while to spare feelings or get out of things, but mostly I just tell the truth. My H on the other hand is afraid to say no to his family. So he often lies to them when he should just say no, we're not available. For instance: his sister asked us to come visit them the weekend before Christmas (12/22-12/23). She knows we have no vacation time left, so we'd have to come down on Friday night and fly back Sunday to work. I'd rather poke my eye out than do that the weekend before Christmas, but instead of just saying "No, that doesn't work for us, we'll visit another time" he made up some obvious lie. It is SO annoying. I wish he'd get over his fear of confrontation.

[Deleted]

Sept 19, 2012 16:36:26 GMT -5 catbus said:

Sept 19, 2012 16:23:27 GMT -5 v said:

The problem is, "No" is a complete sentence that is often followed by "Why not?"

And "I have to work that weekend" is much nicer to me than "Because that awards ceremony sounds boring and I don't actually care about your church."

Yeah, I'm a little confused by the comments from people who apparently never feel the need to lie.
That said, I can't think of any weird lies I've told at the moment. But I know I have told them. Usually when I'm put on the spot. I turn a bit Leslie Knope-like and will just keep adding on to my explanation. It's awkward.

"I'm not really interested in going."

I think people are used to my being blunt.

[fbf2006]

I usually just say I don't really feel like it or somethinig like that. My husband does say I should try to give excuses. I'd prefer people were upfront than finding out they came up with stupid lies.

[catbus]

Sept 19, 2012 16:44:27 GMT -5 @misoangry said:

Sept 19, 2012 16:36:26 GMT -5 catbus said:

Yeah, I'm a little confused by the comments from people who apparently never feel the need to lie.
That said, I can't think of any weird lies I've told at the moment. But I know I have told them. Usually when I'm put on the spot. I turn a bit Leslie Knope-like and will just keep adding on to my explanation. It's awkward.

"I'm not really interested in going."

I think people are used to my being blunt.

Yeah, I'm fine with simple and truthful with most people. But there are some I just need to head off with an excuse from the start. If I'm invited to something by one of those people, I don't usually outright lie and say I'm moving to Yemen or something, but I'll say I've already made conflicting plans. They don't need to know that those plans are simply not going to whatever event it is I don't want to attend.
I do take precautionary measures such as not posting to Facebook about watching "The Pirates: Band of Misfits" at 8:00 that evening when I was invited to their 7:00 dinner at Red Lobster.

[Deleted]

Sept 19, 2012 16:49:39 GMT -5 fbf2006 said:

I usually just say I don't really feel like it or somethinig like that. My husband does say I should try to give excuses. I'd prefer people were upfront than finding out they came up with stupid lies.

I'd prefer that people would come up with stupid lies to try to preserve my feelings than to say "I don't feel like it" to something that I kind of wanted them to attend.

ETA: There's a distinction to me though, depending on what the invitation is for.

For instance:

Me: I was thinking of going to the museum on Saturday. Want to come with me?
Friend: No thanks, not really in the mood/don't like museums/don't feel like it

That's fine.

But:

Me: I just had a baby. Want to come see it? (Or, "I'll be getting an award. Want to come cheer me on?" or "I'm getting married. Want to come?")
Friend: No thanks, I don't feel like it.

That would be kind of callous, no?

[fbf2006]

I guess you're right v. I wouldn't say that to a friend though since I'd most likely attend. I'm thinking of the happy hour scenario initially mentioned.

[Deleted]

Sept 19, 2012 16:52:09 GMT -5 catbus said:

Sept 19, 2012 16:44:27 GMT -5 @misoangry said:

"I'm not really interested in going."

I think people are used to my being blunt.

Yeah, I'm fine with simple and truthful with most people. But there are some I just need to head off with an excuse from the start. If I'm invited to something by one of those people, I don't usually outright lie and say I'm moving to Yemen or something, but I'll say I've already made conflicting plans. They don't need to know that those plans are simply not going to whatever event it is I don't want to attend.
I do take precautionary measures such as not posting to Facebook about watching "The Pirates: Band of Misfits" at 8:00 that evening when I was invited to their 7:00 dinner at Red Lobster.

Yeah. "I have other plans" always works.

Often, my "other plans" include watching TV while sitting in my underwear.

[Deleted]

I once bailed on dinner with two friends because I had to monitor an online silent auction for a guitar signed by all members of Weezer.

And I told them that. Hahahahahaha.

[80sjunkie]

We lie about our travels because there are several people that judge the way we spend our time and money. Ah family! Sometimes we lie about how trips were paid for (miles or points) when they ask about cost.

[Deleted]

Sept 19, 2012 16:58:15 GMT -5 @misoangry said:

I once bailed on dinner with two friends because I had to monitor an online silent auction for a guitar signed by all members of Weezer.

And I told them that. Hahahahahaha.

I think that's a totally reasonable excuse to bail on dinner plans.

Did you win it?

[Deleted]

Yes, I did! ;D

[catbus]

Sept 19, 2012 17:00:33 GMT -5 80sjunkie said:

We lie about our travels because there are several people that judge the way we spend our time and money. Ah family! Sometimes we lie about how trips were paid for (miles or points) when they ask about cost.

OK, yep, I'll cop to fudging on some money-related items. Not to my parents, who are upper-middle class and understand spending more for quality items, but to H's parents, who tend to not understand why someone would buy anything but the cheapest option for a given item, e.g. why buy a KitchenAid stand mixer instead of this Sunbeam hand mixer? They both mix.

So when we bought our new car last year, H actually didn't mention it to them for months (they live out of state). He finally mentioned it right before they came up for a visit. Even then, he told them it's two model years older than it is. His choice, but he didn't feel comfortable with his parents knowing we'd bought a brand-new car.

[fbf2006]

Sept 19, 2012 16:52:14 GMT -5 v said:

Sept 19, 2012 16:49:39 GMT -5 fbf2006 said:

I usually just say I don't really feel like it or somethinig like that. My husband does say I should try to give excuses. I'd prefer people were upfront than finding out they came up with stupid lies.

I'd prefer that people would come up with stupid lies to try to preserve my feelings than to say "I don't feel like it" to something that I kind of wanted them to attend.

ETA: There's a distinction to me though, depending on what the invitation is for.

For instance:

Me: I was thinking of going to the museum on Saturday. Want to come with me?
Friend: No thanks, not really in the mood/don't like museums/don't feel like it

That's fine.

But:

Me: I just had a baby. Want to come see it? (Or, "I'll be getting an award. Want to come cheer me on?" or "I'm getting married. Want to come?")
Friend: No thanks, I don't feel like it.

That would be kind of callous, no?

Yup. I'm thinking of something like the first scenario, definitely not the second. I'd most likely go for all the events in the 2nd scenario if I was free anyway.

[Deleted]

My friends know that I have no desire to go see their babies.