s/o sleep monsters and sleeping arrangements

[starburst604]

I need some help talking this out.

• DD is an only child and will be 4 in May (no prospective sibling at this point)
  
• She is still in a crib
• She climbs into it, but never out of it
• Our bedroom is right next to hers
• At our request, daycare is working on cutting her nap out by shortening it little by little, so she can fall asleep earlier at night
• She's potty trained at night, sleeps without pull ups but never wakes to pee and no accidents so far. There's a bathroom right across from her room if she does need it
• We aren't opposed to gating her room or using a childproof doorknob if needed

At about 2.5ish she went through a sleep regression that resulted in me having to sit in the glider in her room at bedtime until she fell asleep. She mostly fell asleep quickly so it wasn't too bad. Fast forward to now, me and my H switch off nights sitting with her and she takes forever to fall asleep. It sucks. She otherwise STTN and is a decent sleeper. We want to pull the trigger on moving her straight to a full sized bed (which her crib converts to, skipping the toddler bed). We also want to cut out the sitting with her at bedtime crap. Which takes me to, what's the best way to accomplish both of these things without making bedtime more painful for us than it is already? We legitimately will have no room for the glider once the bed is converted, so next would be laying down with her till she falls asleep. Pleasssse NO. 

So do we:
1) keep her in her crib while working on removing ourselves from sitting with her at night? Suggestions? CIO, leave and do checks every 10 minutes? Once we have accomplished this, convert the bed and hope she sticks with it? PS - my H is far less capable of CIO than I am. 

2) go for the gusto and rework the whole routine at once by converting the bed and telling her we won't be sitting there anymore and use some of the above methods to cut that cord? Maybe add some fun night light or something?

3) something we haven't thought of?

We've talked up the big girl bed to her - she is mildly interested, knows that her older friends have big girl beds and she wants to be like them, but she doesn't really ask about it. I've shown her pictures of bedding she could choose and she likes that. I think she'll be excited once she sees the setup and new stuff. I've mentioned to her that the chair wouldn't be in there anymore and that being a big girl means Mom and Dad don't need to sit with her at night. She seemed....less than enthused, lol. She's pretty goal oriented and I think she would respond to something like a sticker chart for being "brave" at bedtime - we had success with that when she was having difficult preschool drop offs a few months ago. So if you've had experience with some of the above I'd love to hear what worked or didn't! 

[keh2oblue]

At 4, I’d just make the switch. Let her pick out the bedding or something to be involved and get excited. Once it’s in, though, I’d start a new routine whether it be read, sing, cuddle, then light out. Definitely do NOT start anything that involves rocking or requiring sleep training. If she gets up, just take her back, tuck her in, and leave (a la Super Nanny).

[vtdiamond]

I'd probably do it all together and just say that now that she's in a big girl bed the chair doesn't fit so mommy and daddy won't be able to sit in there with her any more.

It might also be time to stop napping so that she has an easier time falling asleep at night. My twins turned 4 in November and still nap at daycare, but no naps at home on weekends so that they go to sleep at night. More and more of their day care classmates are skipping nap time at school now due to issues falling asleep at night.

[samanthamkm]

I would convert her bed to the full. We did the following with our daughter. I would do the same bedtime routine until you sit in the glider until she falls asleep. I would then say you are going to sit/lay with her for 10 minutes then you have something you HAVE to go do. I usually had laundry, dishes,etc to do. I would tell her when 5 minutes is left then 1 minute. After the 10 minutes I would leave. I would do my thing and as long as she wasn't crying I would wait 10-15 minutes before checking on her. If she is still awake I'd repeat the process but that happened only a handful of times.
You can then slowly reduce the time you lay with her.

[hermione]

I would talk up the switch to a big girl bed, let her pick out sheets, etc. Tell her there will be a new bedtime routine to accompany the big girl bed - and let her help pick what that is. "Do you want us to read two books or read one book and sing one song?" Make the switch and institute the new routine. Then stick to that. She absolutely may cry. That's ok.

[abs]

I would just convert her bed and make all changes now. It might suck but it only gets harder as they get older.

DD tends to have nighttime anxiety so I check on her twice before going to bed. Once a few minutes after tucking her in and another after she’s asleep. It’s something we can both live with.

[hopecounts]

It’s not safe for a 4 yr old to be in a crib.
She has outgrown the proper use standard (height or climbing in or out)
She’s probably too heavy for the crib to be safe at this point as well.

She needs to be in a bed.
I’d pull off the band aid all at once and just move her to a bed.

You can write a social story about the rules for the big girl bed so she knows what you expect (you can include not having y’all sit with her)

[gastro]

I would quit the nap altogether first.
Then, change the bed, get rid of the glider, have her pick out the bedding. Once the glider is out of the room there's no room for mom or dad to be in there once lights are out.

[minniemouse]

Convert to full bed. We did that at 2 years, 9 months for dd1. It was fine, she has no problem getting in or out (and she’s like 5th percentile for height).